Author Topic: The story about Bucky Black (The character and the creator)  (Read 5394 times)

Offline Bucky Black

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The story about Bucky Black (The character and the creator)
« on: December 13, 2009, 05:10:05 AM »
Bucky Black had joined Hogwarts not knowing much about Magic. He was quite slow which must have been aggravating for most the students and for sure all the teachers. As he went on he went through a faze of being a disgusting pig, pretending not to care of what the other students thought about him. He wouldn't stop Mentioning subjects of a sexual manner on which a place of where it is forbidden.
He was getting upset. He thought they were being to harsh on him. He blamed everyone else. Until finally he realised it was all his fault.

He then was trying to think of ways to get back on everyone good side. First he wrote an apology and put it in everyone mail. That was a big disaster. he tried thing after thing. He did everything everybody wanted him too do but no body payed any attention to him any more. He got so fed up he packed his bags. After a grueling few hours in the snow he had already realised how much he missed Hogwarts. He returned. They still wouldn't except that he was trying to change.

Later he morphed himself (New self into another body). Everyboy loved him. He did this Because 1: To see if they would treat someone that they didn't no used to be a bit of a Jerk and 2: He thought he needed to start over he was just like any newbie anyway. He had fun but didn't really enjoy lying to all these nice people that much.

(This is the story of me on this site but I changed it to a ic version)

Offline James156

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Re: The story about Bucky Black (The character and the creator)
« Reply #1 on: December 13, 2009, 05:15:51 AM »
Nice story but i think it sends the wrong message. It says, change yourself if you want to fit in. But in the beginning, it had one little smigit of truth...dont care about wat others think. And what did he transfigure to? you didnt say
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Offline Miss Xantier

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Re: The story about Bucky Black (The character and the creator)
« Reply #2 on: December 13, 2009, 05:20:36 AM »
James, he should. for a little bit. But Bucky, you're forgetting bout one thing! ME!!!!!!!!!!! Plus Bucky had transfigured into a better person. lol! So have I. I've learn't that you should just accept it and move on. Or if it's something hurtful, ignore that person.

Offline potter_fan122

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Re: The story about Bucky Black (The character and the creator)
« Reply #3 on: December 13, 2009, 05:34:02 AM »
Because I want you to improve and want you to actually enjoy writting and not think that I hate you, I read your thing and I`m going to try to help you with it. Please remember that this is constructive criticism.

First thing`s first, you need to reread your posts before you post them. There are a couple of spots where you capitalized things that shouldn`t and didn`t capitalize things that should be and a few subject-verb agreement spots.

Second, try to descibe everything. In the biginning, you never really tell the reader where he`s at or what he`s doing, you just kind of jumped into the action, which was also poorly desribed. Instead of starting the way you did, you could have described where he was at and what he was doing. Now, you don`t want to go "Bucky was standing in the school. He was wearning is uniform." That`s just icky.

Third, never go "Because 1: blahblahblah 2: blahness." Replace those blahs with stuff you wrote, if you will. It`s soo majorly not cool. I can`t even tell you how wrong that is.

Fouth, and this has been bugging me for a while, don`t put these ( ) in you words and then be talking or explaining something that YOU are saying, not Bucky. Put these (( )) at the beginning or end of your post, and make footnotes if you must. If people don`t understand what you`re writing, they sheouldn`t be reading it, and I think we all know what morphing is.

Overall, it`s actually okay for you. Keep trying to improve your writing. You just might surprise yourself with how well you will be able to do.

Note: Please stop going OK. Is it really that much harder to write okay?

Note to Isabelle: what you just said really made no sense.
"Get out of my way! I'm a free spirit!"
FOREVER WILL NEVER BE LONG ENOUGH.
"And now I understand a phrase I once thought odd;
I guess to love another person is to see the face of God."

Offline James156

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Re: The story about Bucky Black (The character and the creator)
« Reply #4 on: December 13, 2009, 05:36:43 AM »
You have a point Xantier. If its a better person you are changing into, than do it. Plus, i just wanted specifics. What was his new selfs name? for example. Oh and potterfan? You have a point, but that was a little harsh, even though you were nice at the end. But it was constructive. ;D
« Last Edit: December 13, 2009, 05:39:47 AM by James156 »
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Offline potter_fan122

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Re: The story about Bucky Black (The character and the creator)
« Reply #5 on: December 13, 2009, 05:39:29 AM »
James, I think that what she meant was that she and Bucky, the real people behind them, have become better people. I don`t think he (the character) actually morphed into a new person. Theoretically, it`s not possible. Rowling set up boundaries that don`t really let that happen without the Polyjuice potion.
"Get out of my way! I'm a free spirit!"
FOREVER WILL NEVER BE LONG ENOUGH.
"And now I understand a phrase I once thought odd;
I guess to love another person is to see the face of God."

Offline James156

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Re: The story about Bucky Black (The character and the creator)
« Reply #6 on: December 13, 2009, 05:41:54 AM »
True. True.
« Last Edit: December 13, 2009, 05:47:12 AM by James156 »
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Offline Bucky Black

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Re: The story about Bucky Black (The character and the creator)
« Reply #7 on: December 13, 2009, 06:01:21 AM »
Nice story but i think it sends the wrong message. It says, change yourself if you want to fit in. But in the beginning, it had one little smigit of truth...dont care about wat others think. And what did he transfigure to? you didnt say

James. I was beig an idiot I am changing back to myself from being someone else.

Offline Bucky Black

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Re: The story about Bucky Black (The character and the creator)
« Reply #8 on: December 13, 2009, 06:09:20 AM »
Yeah. I know it is constructive criticism. I just sometimes get a little offended. I'm super happy or your kindness in posting and helping me out. The morphing bit is A secret only Isabelle knows lol. James can you please stop posting on this subject? Thanks!!

Oh and if I've been mean to anyone for criticism that helps me make my story better, I apologise.

Now let's all have some uber fun lol.

Offline James156

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Re: The story about Bucky Black (The character and the creator)
« Reply #9 on: December 13, 2009, 03:53:06 PM »
Cool! ;D ;) :)
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Offline Miss Xantier

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Re: The story about Bucky Black (The character and the creator)
« Reply #10 on: December 13, 2009, 04:50:16 PM »
You have a point Xantier. If its a better person you are changing into, than do it. Plus, i just wanted specifics. What was his new selfs name? for example. Oh and potterfan? You have a point, but that was a little harsh, even though you were nice at the end. But it was constructive. ;D

Thanks! Haha, Bucky is right. Only I know who it is. Plus, not allowed to say who it is.

Offline Bucky Black

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Re: The story about Bucky Black (The character and the creator)
« Reply #11 on: December 13, 2009, 10:19:04 PM »
LOL (I'll be on more Izzy I finish schol in three days....And start highschool yay!!!!)

Offline Miss Xantier

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Re: The story about Bucky Black (The character and the creator)
« Reply #12 on: December 14, 2009, 02:27:35 AM »
Okay, good!

Offline HamandCheese

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Re: The story about Bucky Black (The character and the creator)
« Reply #13 on: April 11, 2010, 07:21:12 PM »
(Just to explian a new Bucky)

Bucky stood in the forest, he pushed his hair into pesition, he bent down,and tied his laces on his bright crimson shoes. He had a mystery woman metting him. She sent him a letter on youtube saying "Hey, meet me in a stranded forest", bucky only went along with it because he was a little worried about this person, the seemed "Stalkerish". Ever since Bucky became a wizard he decided he would try to resolve problems with muggles, knowing if they go syco, he always had magic to fight back with.

A girl jumped out of the sky, or so it seemed, she stood there, hair frizzed like she didn't care. Bucky stared.The Woman just stared right back. Bucky openedhis mouth, but before he could speak the woman put her pointing finger on Bucky's Mouth, as if to say hush.
The young woman opened her mouth and spoke "I was quite suprised you agreed to this,once I read back my post it sounded creepy to me". he then said "Don't worry, I'm here bcause your VLogs touched me deeply.
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Which is Bucky?? You decide.