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Avalee, as always was on her way to the bar. The warm summer air swirled her hair up and around her face. Her hair was as it always was; curly and blond. She wore a very loose, thin tshirt. And black shorts. On her feet were gladiator sandals. Her face showed her mood; relaxed and happy. It had been a while since she was walking down this cobblestone road. But it felt like home. She grabbed the familiar doornob. It was the door to The Hog's Head. This place held memories. Too many, perhaps. But tonight was to be simple. Drinks alone at a pub. Avalee felt that the building was more an old friend than a building. A small wave of anxiety crashed in her stomach. She pushed it to the back of her mind.

She swung open the door and relit the smile on her face. She walked in, confident. She was a different person now.

((Closed))
Avalee laid in the grass out by the lake. The grass made a strangely soft bed. She was on a small blanket she had taken from her home. She smiled and her eyes were closed. She was peaceful. She was happy. Small headphones rested in her ears. They played one of her favorite songs:

"Night delivers cold shivers
I've been waiting on a heart that quivers for
You, Kathleen, you're golden
You're just waiting for the stars unfolding for you

Slow winnings, the room's spinning
False starts lead to sad endings
Oh, close your eyes, I'll remind you
It takes an angel or the devil to find you
Kathleen

You shot me down just as I was starting to feel alive
Little girls tell the biggest lies, baby
Your love is just the salt in your eyes

You bolted all your locks just in time to hear the doorbell ring
But you can't shut out everything
Oh, Kathleen, I hope the stars set you free

You shot me down just as I was starting to feel alive
Little girls tell the biggest lies
It was just yesterday we said goodbye"

She smiled and whispered the lyrics along to the music. Her hair was in soft curls around her face, which was blank of makeup. She wore the simple black, loose dress she had taught in earlier that day. The air out by the lake was so fresh and clean. It was practically intoxicating.

((Aiden, mostly. Stacey is welcome as well.))
The brown sign proudly announced the name of the pub. The sign was too familiar. It made her too happy. It made her feel alive and awake.

"The Three Broomsticks"

So much had happened here. So many drunken nights. So many blackouts. So many friends. So many memories. This was the place she met Phoenix. This is also the place she met Axel.

Avalee smiled as she approached the bar. The bartender smiled at one of his best customers. He nodded at her and asked her in a kind tone, "What will it be tonight, miss?"

Avalee smiled wider and answered, "Cold firewhiskey, please." The bartender's face fell a little bit. "Not too much tonight, Avalee. We both know what happens..." She sighed. "Fine, be my makeshift parent Mark. I won't. Promise."

Mark nodded and poured her a small drink. She took a sip. She was home.

*Earlier that day Avalee had sent Pheonix an owl*

_{Pheonix,
We really need to talk
Sorry I haven't been around in a few days
Will you meet me at the coffee shop?
The one we went to together
Thank You
Hope to see you soon
-Avalee}

She was very nervous as she walked to the coffee shop. Maybe somewhere public was the wrong choice. Well, it was too late now. Anywhere outside wasn't an option. Avalee was bundled up in a coat, a scarf,

(I'm gonna finish this when I find my computer charger...)

(Seth)

When did life get this way?

Avalee sat in the herbology shack. It was relly the only place that could truly calm her down. She had her arms were crossed and were down on a table. She buried her head in her arms. The smell of this place really callmed her down. The smell of dirt and flowers made her feel at home.

This was the kind of moment that she wished she had a mom or aunt that she could talk to. Or a sister. But she didnt have that. She didn't even have a friend.

She sat there and waited for Seth. She had sent him an owl a few hours ago, asking him to meet her. They could at least act civil. Right?

I am pathetic.

Avalee was not having a great night. Well, it was actually closer to morning. It was 2:17 AM. She moaned in insomnia. She was well on her way to getting smashed. She just wanted to black out.

So much blood.

She had woken up crying from a dream about an hour ago. She had dreamed that her hands and arms were covered in blood. Axel's blood. Up until tonight she couldn't remember what happened after Axel was killed. Avalee remembered running out of the pub, her shirt, arms, and face were covered in blood. The taste of blood was on her tongue. She just kept kissing him. He had to come back. But he didn't. He never woke up.

Why did those awful memories have to come back?

She remembered running from the bar, and running...she just kept running.

She tilted her head back and took another shot of Vodka.

Avalee wandered the grounds, her heart beating nervously. A warm blush colored her cheeks, as the chill of autumn set in. She walked quite fast, slightly determined. She had no idea where she was going, but she was headed there, wherever it was. She needed to just get away. To be away, and be with someone. She was sick of being alone, execpt of course the company of her needy students.

She wanted to be around some people who weren't just asking for her help on planting things anymore. So she walked.

['WhisperingHear the ghosts in the moonlightSorrow doing a new danceThrough their bone, through their skinListeningTo the souls in the fool's nightFumbling mutely with their rude handsAnd there's heartache without end']

(Stacey)

Avalee was not a 'musical' person per-se. She had never taken her piano lessons as a child very seriously. Her parents wanting to 'round out her education' forced her to take them. She had learned enough though to get by, to play a few simple chords. She could struggle through a simple song. She played on a piano, a simple dark wooded upright. The notes drifted gently through the upsairs faculty-only corridor she was in. It was almost three in the morning. Tonight she was playing a fairly simple, yet complexly beautiful song. A favorite of hers. And her amateur voice glided through the song.


'Whispering
Hear the ghosts in the moonlight
Sorrow doing a new dance
Through their bone, through their skin

Listening
To the souls in the fool's night
Fumbling mutely with their rude hands
And there's heartache without end'

She was almost done with the song, had five short stanzas of minor music left. Yet her fingers couldn't find the next chord. The mourning in the lyrics struck her. It had always been a favourite song. It was from a favorite musical of course. The next words, the next notes seemed too painful. It was a song about loss. A song about being alone. Truely along. Avalee had quite a bit of that these days. She would always love this song. But now, just the though of it, sprung tears in her eyes. These tears seemed to always be present.

Happiness was lost on Avalee, for what felt like ages. Sadness colored her life. Sadness colored every hour. She wanted to feel something again. Something that wasn't the numbing ache of feeling alone; feeling like her heart had been savagely, rudely ripped from her chest. She was done with feeling like the warmth had been taken away.

Her fingers drifted into the next stanza of lyrics, as her mouth opened once more to gently sing the words of melancholy that the song was riddled with :

'See the father bent in grief
The mother dressed in mourning
Sister crumbles, and the neighbors grumble
The preacher issues warnings'

Then her head slowly bent down, her eyes shut.

Love for a dead man overflowed where her heart should have been.

Avalee wandered through the great hall, in a relatively...better mood. Well she pretended to be in one. She wandered, half of her brain in teacher mode, and the other half in ditzy mode. She was oblivious, to anything and everything. It was a state in which she could be numb. In this mode she wouldn't see the vibrant blues in Ravenclaw ties. So she wouldn't have to go through that every time she saw the color. Her ballet flats made a soft clicking noise as she walked, her arms limp at her sides.

Her dark skinny jeans kept her legs warm from the cold Hogwarts cooling system. She couldn't wait for the fall. It was too hot right now. Her shirt was a nice dark green. She sort of liked having to dress up for her job. Her curly blonde hair was up in a messy bun, off of the back of her neck, which was stiff after planting her fall plants all day yesterday.

Her duties today were to patroll the halls, which was easy considering the lack of students. Although she couldn't wait for school to start. At least it was something to keep her mind busy

As she walked the halls, she wore a blank expression, almost robotic. Void of all emotion. Was she to be numb like this forever?

["How dare you leave me! Why did you break my heart? Why Axel?!"]

'Calm down...calm down! You are okay...'

Avalee tried to calm herself. She was breathing heavily, crying in fact, curled up in a grassy meadow in the forest. What brought her here? Lack of sleep and a desire to touch the man she was in love with once more. She yearned to be loved again. To be held in his arms once more would make her so unbelievable happy. Avalee was curled up in a ball...crying quietly to herself.

Her hair was up in a tight bun, so tight in fact her scalp burned a little bit. This late night she was wearing a navy blue dress. It was pretty, and formal. She has just come from a formal dinner at an old friend's house, and forgot to change. She couldn't sleep anyway.  But it felt eerie in the setting. ((I just had to post it. I fell in love with this dress. Imagine it navy blue. http://static0.modcloth.com/productshots/0044/6565/14823-1.jpg?1279918254))

She sat up, sill crying. The woods were so silent, practically mocking her. She yelled into the night, "How dare you leave me! Why did you break my heart? Why Axel?!"

She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes. Then she stated quieter, "You said you loved me!"

Avalee walked to Hogsmead in a calm, almost happy mood. Almost. But not quite. The pain was still there. As it always was. But at least she had a friend. Avalee was set to meet Phoenix for coffee this late summer afternoon. This made her happy. Spending time with Phoenix made her really happy. Which really scared her. She didn't know if she was reading too much into this. On top of that she didn't know if she was reading too much into it. Did he feel the same...she pondered this as she walked down the cobbled streets. As she had so many times.

They were to meet at a small coffee shop in the outer part of Hogsmead. She assumed it would be less busy and therefore they could actually talk. Today Avalee wore black shorts and a navy blue t-shirt. On her feet were yellow Converse. Vibrant colors, that she wish reflected her mood.

She wore a blank, yet vaguely pleasant expression on her face.

Avalee approached the Gray's door a little after noon. She was nervous. But she couldn't decide if it was a rational nervousness. Stacey wouldn't hurt her, she knew that. It may have just been nervous about seeing her again. It had been a while. She took slow, yet determined steps up to the front door. It really was a beautiful house.

In one hand was a cake. Small enough for about four people. It was chocolate, with pretty frosting on it. She figured Stacey might want some cake. Pregnant women were hungry a lot right? She wasn't all that sure she hadn't been around a lot of pregnant women in her time. In her other hand was a small pink flower planted in a pot. She wore simple light skinny jeans and a loose light blue hippie-type shirt. She wore Axel's ring on a chain around her neck. She rubbed it one last time, and then she rang the doorbell.

Avalee sat in The Three Broomsticks. A blank expression on her face. It was easier than showing pain. On her legs were dark skinny jeans, a purple blouse, and a green cardigan. She wore a simple necklace around her neck. It was a long-ish chain with a ring on it. A simple silver band. It was his.

She wasn't there to get drunk. She could do that at home if she wanted to. No. She just wanted to be around people. To hear voices. To hear laughter. She didn't want to become a ghost. A shell of a human being. Axel wouldn't have wanted that. His name echoed in her mind. Axel. She said it again in her mind, and closed her eyes. She imagined having his lips pressed against hers on more time.

She snapped her eyes open. Those thoughts would get her nowhere fast. She ached inside now. Maybe alcohol would help. She ordered up a firewhiskey, and drank it down. It burned.

Avalee was out at the lake. She had been there for about an hour. It was about 11 at night, and that's when they were supossed to meet, but she got there early so she could calm herself before Seth arrived. A note was sent just the previous day. But they were meeting. She had never officially met him. It had been almost a week since...the incident. Since then Avalee had fallen off the face of the planet. She had spoken to no one.

She looked awful. No makeup. Cheap Quittich t shirt, and athletic shirts. No shoes. It was warm outside, but it was cool by the lake. Goosebumps rose on her flesh. Her eyes were red. Insomnia and crying had taken over her life. Also frequent anxiety attacks. Her medication was doubled.

And there she waited. Only thinking of Axel, and the last time she was at the lake. 

It was graduation. Avalee hadn't been able to close her eyes for more than a few seconds the previous. Today was the day. The day that scared the crap out of her. Her hands shook. It was the beginning of another chapter in her life. She was in the common room, dressed for the ceremony, and hair was curled. She took deep breaths. She was on the verge of an anxiety attack. She had taken a healthy dose of her medicine, but this day was just too much. She had no real plans. At. All.

She talked to a counselor at the school, and she had had the highest grades in herbology. She was trying to talk professor Longbottom into letting her be an intern next semester. She did love that class, and she couldn't leave this place. It would always be her home. And she definitely couldn't, and more importantly wouldn't go home. Her parents weren't even coming to graduation. They hadn't even called.

She looked at the large clock on the wall, next to the famous statue of Rowena Ravenclaw. The statue gave her confidence. She was a Ravenclaw for a reason. Right? She stood up, and took a deep breath, and walked out of the common room.

She tried to take her time while walking down the stairs, so she wouldn't kill herself. She soon made it out of the castle and onto the grounds. It was overrun with parents and faculty and over happy seventh years. She looked for a familiar face but was at a loss. She pretended to be confident, and marched forwards, trying to find Axel.

Avalee walked to Hogsmead in the rain. It was pleasant, tickling her face, and waking her up. It was very early morning, and none of the shops were open. She had tossed and turned all night, restless. A grand total of about 2 hours were slept. She had gotten up, and snuck out without her insane roommate hearing, taking with her only a book, her wand, and her wallet. Her hair was down, and in frizzy, messy curls around her shoulders. Her hair would have to be cut soon, she decided in her mind.

On her body she wore a simple t-shirt and a skirt. Creme colored on top, and a yellow and black vintage print on the bottom. She wore converse on her feet. Although wearing tennis shoes with a skirt or a dress wasn't considered 'fashionable' she wore it anyway. It was comfortable, and that's all that mattered in the moment. The shoes made a soft squeaky noise on the pavement. The soft noise annoyed her. She wanted silence. Complete, chilling silence. This wasn't something she normally wanted, but in this moment she wanted peace.

She paused for a moment, suddenly feeling a bit overwhelmed and paused to take a breath. She didn't feel like crying, but she didn't feel happy either. Just numb. Just scared.

Her mind drifted.

Graduation

The word terrified Avalee. It send shivers down her spine, and make a spark of anxiety light up in the pit of her stomach. She would take a deep breath, but nothing could clear her mind of the shock. Where had time gone? she wondered to herself. She was still a child, not ready for the real word. Not. One. Bit. It felt like she was stuck. In a rut. This school was her home, as so many others had called it. Like Aiden and Stacey. They had both stayed long after their schooling was done. Somehow she would do the same. Her heart would not be ripped away from a home again.

But this is what always happened with Avalee. She grew too attached. To a place, or sometimes to a person. She figured it was probably because of her parents lack of attachment to her. Then when they were gone, she was lost, and did stupid things. On top of that she had just found Axel. Their relationship had just begun, and now... Where were they? Would he leave? They hadn't been going out for too long. But it was the first time in an incredibly long time she felt that deeply for another human being. But, how did he feel?

She couldn't even consider going home. She had been here almost a year, and she had not received one letter from her parents. She had gotten a few letters from friends, but they had drifted apart. Then there were the crazy letters from her most recent ex. She had broke it off with him a few weeks before leaving for Hogwarts. He was the really controlling type. He would call her every five minutes to see what she was doing, or who she was talking to. At least seven of these letters had come, but not one from her parents. Was it punishment? What had she done she wondered?

So there she sat. On a bench. In Hogsmead. A book sat in her lap, unread. She looked off into the woods, thinking. About the future. That topic, the future, was imitating. She had no specific intrest. Not at all. She loved her classes, but no one in particular, and she wasn't especially great in one. She felt as if her life was going nowhere, fast.

So there she sat, thinking, If time could just slow down...just for this one day...

I thought it would be nice to have a topic where we can get advice from each other.

So just post, and we all shall help!

Avalee sat in the hall, breathing heavily. She alone, save a few moving paintings. They kept quiet. The stone wall was cold on the back of her neck, this helped her pulse slow, it was going at an ungodly rate just minutes ago. Her breath came erratically. She slid down the wall and sat.

She had just skipped out on class in favor of calming down in the hallway. She had run a ways down the hall, it was dark, and she felt safer there. A minor panic attack. Sweat accumulated on her forehead, and tears in her eyes. This hadn't happened in a while. Why now? They were preparing for FINALS! A Ravenclaw as ever, she was mad. All her classmates were still in class studying still. No one cared. Which meant she wasn't as embarrassed as she could be.

She took a deep breath.

Avalee laid on the ground, the echo of a smile playing on gently on her face. The sky was partly cloudy, and the sun was fighting to get through the thick clouds. It was warm, not humid, just simply warm. It felt really nice. Sunlight peaked through the clouds for a moment, then disappeared almost as quickly.

She was waiting for a friend. She needed some help with her dueling. What a wonderful way to spend the day.

Avalee was restless. Her brain just would not shut up. She felt anxious. It wasn't a panic attack, it was just constant anxiousness. She sat up it bed quickly, yet quietly. She didn't want to wake her annoying, nosy roommate, but she slept deeply anyway. She got on running shoes and changed into a plain black tshirt. She was going to blend in well with the depths of the forest.

Her yellow hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail, and her face was blank of any emotion except for a bit of frustration. She silently climbed down the stairs, out the common room door, down more stairs, more doors, and finally she was outside. She took a breath of the chilly midnight air. Goosebumps rose on her arms and legs, but that was okay. The temperature made her feel alive.

She sprinted towards the forest, her legs barely touching the ground. She slowed to a run when she got into the forest. She immidiatly felt a little better.

All she could hear was the crunch of leaves beneath her feet.