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[You Can't Spell Voldemort Without EMO]

You Can't Spell Voldemort Without EMO
(^^Working title, as I can't think of anything better at the moment; also Voldemort doesn't really appear in this story so it doesn't make sense. Yeahh)

Summary:
After seeing a muggle magazine, Ron is influenced by pop culture and decides to become an emo kid. Black hair, tight pants, and eye liner are abound. And yes, it clashes horribly.  Mentions of angry finger painting, bad poetry, and French berets.

I'm considering submitting this fic to Riddikulus.org, and I'd like to know what you guys think. Any comments, advice, constructive criticism would be helpful :)
This is most likely going to chaptered story. I only have the first chapter done, however.  Enjoy ;)

Chapter 1
   "Omigosh, he is so hot!" Parvati squealed.
   "So so hot. I'd totally do him," Lavender replied intelligently.
   "You are such a wh0re."
   "Oh, so you wouldn't?"
   "I never said that," Parvati said, giggling.
Lavender whispered something into Parvati's ear, and soon they were both in hysterics.
   Ron scowled in annoyance. Every time Lavender's Muggle Trendz magazine came, all she and Parvati would do for the rest of the day was lay around looking at it while being very noisy. Which made for very difficult studying. He grimaced as Lavender let out a loud snort.
   "Ohh...look at those eyes...." Parvati cooed from across the now nearly empty common room. More obnoxious giggling. Ron sighed, but unfortunately started to yawn at the same time, causing a most unflattering noise to escape his lips.
   Lavender looked up. "Breathe much?" she asked, smirking.
Ron scowled again.
   "I'm going to bed now," he announced. "And, as a prefect, I'm confiscating that magazine." He reached down and grabbed the glossy magazine before either girl could stop him. Ron then turned and started up the stairs, ignoring the fact that Parvati was yelling obscenities and Lavender was threatening him with death. "Girls and their magazines...."  he thought to himself.
   Once in the dormitory, Ron flopped face forward onto his bed, dropping the magazine haphazardly onto the floor. Rolling over, he kicked off his shoes and slid under the covers, not even bothering to change into his paisley pajamas.

---

   "Just poke him."   
   "No, you do it!"
   "I don't want to wake him up. He gets violent!"
   "Oh, move out of the way, I'll do it." Seamus yanked the crimson hangings open and poked the sleeping prefect rather sharply.
   "Ffm," Ron muttered into his pillow. Someone was poking him, and they seeming to be speaking as well. He decided to ignore it.
   "RONALD!" yelled Seamus. "I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME!"   
   "Yeah, wake up, Ron," added Harry. Letting go of any hopes of getting more sleep, Ron reluctantly sat up. It was an odd sight; Seamus, Dean, and Harry were all crowded around his bed.
   "Wha...what do you want?" Ron asked, yawning.
   "Is this your magazine?" Seamus asked, shaking the copy of Muggle Trendz in Ron's face. "We found it on the floor."
   "Yeah, sort of. I confiscated it from Lavender and Parvati," Ron replied. Harry raised an eyebrow.
   "What?! They were being noisy!" Ron exclaimed, his ears turning red.
   "You remind us of dear old Percy more and more everyday," Dean smirked.
   "I DO N—"   
   "ANYWAY!" Harry yelled, interrupting Ron's outburst. "We just wanted to know if we could borrow your magazine."
   "Fine. Take it. I am going downstairs."
   "Aw, Ron, don't be like that," Dean said.
   "Yeah, stay here. You can look at it too," Harry added.
   "Bye Ronny!" Seamus called. Harry and Dean gave him dirty looks. "I mean...stay?"
   Ron rolled his eyes. "You know I'd love to spend my morning with you delightful chaps, but I'd much prefer to go downstairs and have breakfast. Adieu."
   "Bye Ronny!" Seamus repeated.

---

   Ron sat down next to Hermione, who was in the middle of a conversation with Ginny.
   "I'm just saying, it takes a certain kind of guy to pull off eye liner, and he is not that kind of guy." Hermione concluded.
   "I guess you're right...his hair's too light anyway." Ginny said, sighing.
   "Who?" Ron asked, dishing a mound of scrambled eggs onto his plate.
   "Uh...no one. No one!" Hermione said, suppressing a giggle.
   "Nah, it's okay, he can know." Ginny grinned. "We were talking about what Malfoy would be like emo."
   "Emo?" Ron asked, confused.
   "Yes. Emo, or 'emotional', is a genre of music in the muggle society, but is also a popular style among muggle teenagers," Hermione said, sounding (as usual) like she was reading from a book. "It includes messy, dyed black hair, tight pants, glasses with black plastic frames, and generally acting depressed."
   "Don't forget the eye liner!" Ginny squealed.
   "Oh, right. Worn on both males and females."
   "Sounds strange," Ron said, scratching his head. "Why would any bloke want to wear eye liner?"
   "Because it's sexy!" Ginny blurted out. "Just look at this picture!" She pulled a glossy page from a magazine out of her pocket and shoved it under Ron's nose. Ron scanned the page with distaste.
   "I don't like it," he said crossly.
   "Well, I do. Too bad it's a muggle thing; we could use some emo guys at Hogwarts," Ginny said earnestly.
   "Definitely," Hermione said, nodding in agreement.
   "Do...do most girls like this emu thing?" Ron asked.
   "Oh yes. Very very sexy," Ginny breathed. "And it's emo, not emu, by the way."
   "Hmm. Interesting," Ron muttered. "When's the next Hogsmede trip?"
   "Next weekend. Why do you ask?" said Hermione.
   "Oh...no reason."

Me, I've only done humor before but I'm thinking about doing an angsty one :)[/size]

[CAUTION—SPOILER WARNING!! DO NOT READ UNLESS YOU HAVE AT LEAST GOTTEN TO PAGE 806 IN ORDER OF THE PHOENIX!!!]

CAUTION—SPOILER WARNING!! DO NOT READ UNLESS YOU HAVE AT LEAST GOTTEN TO PAGE 806 IN ORDER OF THE PHOENIX!!![/color]










Ok, I saw this on another forum..

They climbed a flight of stairs and entered the "Creature-Induced Injuries" corridor, where the second door on the right bore the words "DANGEROUS" DAI LLEWELLYN WARD: SERIOUS BITES.

If you arranged these words like they would be on a sign:

Creature-Induced Injuries
Dangerous
Dai LLewellyn Ward
Serious Bites

and read the first word of each line,

Creature
Dangerous
Dai
Serious

Said a bit different, it's:

[SPOILER WARNING]
Kreacher Dangerous. Die Sirius

BUAH isn't that scary? ;D

Yep. Formally PadfootForever, formally PadfootComeHome, formally SneakyPeeves415. I'm now obscure_illusion. Aye!

I personally want the Storgé one back...haha. I really don't like the HBP title, it just doesn't have that Harry Potterness to it. Yes yes, you all think I'm crazy..

Ok, read this (it was on MuggleNet):
Earlier today, someone got behind the door at JKRowling.com without hacking, and was greeted by a surprise. As we can see from the date, this information isn't supposed to be released until the first of July. It took the person to a book, on the left page was the dark mark, and on the right page was written the following:

1st July 2004
Erm... it is perhaps time for me to reveal
the title of Book 6! I am nearing completion of the
first draft and have definitely decided upon a
title. I had numerous possibilities in mind, but
as I wrote, I realized that only one did the book
justice.
The more clever Potter fans may recognize that
the title relates directly to both 'Order of the
Phoenix' and 'Chamber of Secrets.' I will be
highly amused if one of you can guess exactly
what's going on!
On a side note, the length of the book is
growing so fast, I could swear Filius has put an
Engorgement Charm on it; an editor's nightmare!
I promised myself not to exceed the length of
'Order of the Phoenix,' but every day that passes
makes that undertaking more difficult.
Incidentally, I have much more work ahead.
Alas, the time has come! Here is the reward for
you lot that so diligently figured out all the puzzles
on the site. If you scroll down to the bottom of
this page, I will reveal to you the title of Book 6!
...
The title of Book 6 is:
Harry Potter and the Pillar of Storgé
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Storgé is pronounced stor-gee and means parental love in greek)

YAY!! Do you think that really is it? Go to mugglenet if you want to read the whole thing...I left a little out.

Ok, on Neopets I'm making a Harry Potter themed guild (a guild is kind of like a club, for those of you who don't know..). Anyway, I can't think of a good name!!! ??? Any ideas?

OoOoO you really have to go to this website..it's sooo funny!
http://www.livejournal.com/community/m15m/2237.html?thread=39101

Hehe...anyway, it's called Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban in Fifteen Minutes and it's a very funny parody of the movie. ;D

YAAY! *passes out butterbeer*

Professor Snape smiled at his favorite class. There was Malfoy, who he always thought was a little on the gay side, but did look nice in pink. Then there was Harry, who he always fussed over, since he was a celebrity. The rest of the class was simply wonderful, from the smart, somewhat odd Hermione, to the bolder-like Crabbe and Goyle. Oh, and there was Ron as well, but Snape didn't call on him much since he was jelous of his flaming red hair.
   "Ok class! Today we are going to learn how to make a Kaboomie Potion!"
   "A Kaboomie Potion? Yay! Kaboomie kaboomie, kaboomie oomie oomie!!!" said Malfoy, getting out of his chair to prance around.
   "Kayak? I have a kayak. It's actually a pineapple but shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh don't tell anyone!" said Hermione. The class just stared. Snape cleared his throat, trying to get their attention again.
   "As I was saying, we will be making a Kaboomie Potion. The ingredients are on the board. Oh, and Harry, I have already made yours for you, you got a 100%!" said Snape, beaming at his favorite student.
   "Uh, thanks Professor," Harry said.
   "Anything for you Harry, my dear!"
   Harry looked at the floor, trying to conceal his beet-red face. This wasn't the first time he had thought Snape might be coming onto him.
   The rest of the class went smoothly, and everyone made a satisfactory Kaboomie Potion (yes, they all went kaboomie, don't worry).
   Harry, Hermione, and Ron walked out of the dungeon, up towards the Common Room.
   "DON'T SEND THE WHALES TO IRAQ!!!!" yelled Hermione suddenly, causing Ron and Harry to jump.
   "She is sooo strange," said Ron, while Harry nodded in agreement.
The got to the Fat Lady, who was being occupied by none other than Malfoy. He seemed to be looking for someone.
   "But I've got to find Harry! I've got tooooooo!!!! I need to give him something!!!!!!!!" Malfoy pleaded.
   "I'm sorry, but you are not a Gryffindor, so go look for Harry elsewhere," the Fat Lady said sternly.
   Malfoy turned on his heel, clearly trying to make a dramatic exit. It didn't work too well because he tripped over his feather boa and bumped into Hermione ("GOD BLESS YOU!" she yelled.). Harry tried to slink away, but it was too late; Malfoy had seen him.
   "Aha! Harry! I foooouuund yoooou!!!!!!!" cooed Malfoy. "I have something for yooooooou!!!" He handed Harry a large pink cabbage.
   "Erm, thanks, I guess," said Harry. "What is it exactly?"
   "It's a cabbage! And it's pink!" Malfoy said, grinning.
   "Don't know why you didn't catch that one Harry," said Ron, winking.
   Harry quickly turned his laugh into a cough.
   "Well chums, I must be off!" said Malfoy. And off he went, skipping and humming something that sounded a lot like a Cher song.
   "A lot of people here are so strange," Harry commented, just as Hermione went, "TWIX! IT'S NOT ALL IN THE MIX! MWAHAHAHA THAT'S RIGHT! I STOLE IT! MWAHAHAHA!"
   Ron just rolled his eyes. "We better go before she starts singing about eggplant or something..."
LATER...
   Harry sat in the common room examining the pink cabbage. It was giving off a perfume-like odor that was making Harry feel sick.
   "Harry, would you mind throwing that cabbage out the window? I think I might barf if it stays around much longer," Ron said, a green tinge in his face.
   "Alright, I suppose I will," Harry said. He walked over to the nearest window and pulled it open, letting a cold burst of wind in.
   "Bloody hell! Would you mind hurrying up a bit? It is mid-January after all!" Ron yelled.
   Harry leaned out of the window slightly and dropped it. It landed with a soft thump on the snow below.
   "Thank god that thing's gone," said Harry, closing the window. "I'm going to bed."
   "Alright, me too," Ron said, yawning.
   Harry and Ron went up the stairs to their dormatory and went to sleep, both feeling relieved that Malfoy's horrible present was gone. Little did they know, they hadn't seen the last of that smelly cabbage.
******************************************************************
   The next day, after Harry, Hermione, and Ron had finished eating breakfast, they walked down to Hagrid's hut for Care of Magical Creatures. The Slytherins were already there.
   "'Urry up now! I've got a great lesson fer terday!" Hagrid boomed.
   The class approached with caution toward a small box.
   "Righ' then, now I found this 'ere last night while I was walkin' Fang. I'm not sure what it is but i 'ave a feeling it's uncommon. It smells 'orrible though"
   Five feet away, Harry smelled something oddly familiar. He jabbed Ron in the ribs.
   "What?" he said, rubbing his ribs.
   "Does that smell familiar to you?"
   "Um, I'm not sure," Ron sniffed the air. "Oh no. It's—"
   "HARRY JAMES POTTER! HOW COULD YOU!" Malfoy screeched. "THAT WAS A GIFT! I HATE YOU!" And he ran off crying.
   "Well, that was interesting," Harry said. "Hagrid, that cabbage, I threw it out the window last night because it smelled bad. It was a gift from Malfoy. Could we maybe not have a lesson on it?"
   "Well, I s'pose so," Hagrid said, sounding half disappointed and half glad to be rid of it. "But mind yeh, this means we'll haff ter spend the lesson pickin' grass." (A/N: The snow had magically melted)
   "NO! NOT THE CRANBERRY BOG! NOOOOO!" Hermione suddenly yelled.
The class, who was used to her by now, just continued picking grass
******************************************************************
   Later that day in Transfiguration, the Gryffindors were busy trying to turn socks into soap. No one was having much luck though. Harry had managed to turn his sock into a bar of soap, but it still smelled like feet. Neville's sock had started emiting sparks every three seconds and Ron's was singing the Canadian National Anthum. As for Hermione's, she had made a sock-puppet out of it and was now having a conversation with it in rapid Japanese. Perhaps it was because Professor McGonagall had a splitting headache from Ron's sock's singing or she just really needed a break, because she ran out of the room with a look of someone escaping from a group of crazed murderers.

Weeeeeeeeee aren't polls fun? ;D

[ALL]

SPOILER WARNING! DO NOT READ THIS POST UNLESS YOU HAVE FINISHED ALL OF THE 5TH HP BOOK. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.



















I'm serious! If you haven't read it ALL (or at least past Chapter 35) turn back now!






























One last chance to turn back......




















Ok. Now as we all know Sirius has died :'(. Some person has  started a project that will hopefully convince JK to bring him back. They want you to send memories of him, fanart, poems, theories why he might still be alive, or just begging and pleading to bring him back. Send them to:

Caitlin Mabon
2202 Madison St.
Bellevue, Nebraska
68005-5156
USA

You should probably also go to the website which is located at: http://www.padfoot-forever.tk

Hey, can one of you mods help me? I need you to delete my topic "Pink Cabages, Kaboomie Potions, and Did I Mention Hermione's Mad?"

TANKOO!
Don't worry, the story will be back. I've done much more and changed a few things. Just please please delete that one! I can't seem to find the button that says deletle topic or whatever and the only other way it seems is for a mod to do it.

hey this is sneakypeeves415...just wanted to tell you all that my new name is Padfoot Come Home

*CAUTION: SPOILER WARNING*Ok, I was at MuggleNet and I went to the Book 5 Fact page. There was this thing that said "SPOILER! Highlight the text below to read who the new Gryffindor Keeper is:" So I did, and it's Ron Weasly! This might be true, and it might not. What do you guys think?

[not]

GUESS WHAT!!! I made a forum! It goes along with my HP website (which is not done yet. Anyhoo, its http://hpzinger.proboards18.com/! No one has joined yet; it's brand spankin' new!

Invite your friends too please. :)

WAAA! All the pretty stars are gone! And the cool smilies! And after you post it takes you to your post, ANNOYING! I want the old forum back!

If you want to, join my Yahoo! Group! It's a HP PoA one and it's right here: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HP3discussionchamber/


Please join, there are only three people!

Have you seen the (American) OotP cover yet? It's here if you haven't: http://www.i2k.com/~svderark/lexicon/book_op.html

I think it looks very...un-harry potterish.

Everyone go here: http://www.geocities.com/attendhogwarts/attendhogwarts_index.html!!! It's one of those RPG Hogwarts and it's really great but we need more people! So invite your friends and joiiiiiiin! You can be a student, teacher, shop owner, MoM, or reporter!!!

*REMEMBER!* When you register, in the box that says "How did you find out about this site?" put my character name there (it's Gwendolyn Airr) and tell them I told you to go! Ok byebye!