Dumb Blonde Jokes

[HermioneFan]

haha! Those are hilarious! Never heard them before :)

[Lola_La_Fringe7]

I know freekishly awesome

[dobby888]

This is for you Hermyfan!!!(LOL HERMY!!!!))

The blonde was at the soda vending machine with a line forming behind her. She keeps putting in the change, making her selection, watching the can fall and setting each can on top of the machine. After about 15 times, a man waiting behind her says, "Honey, let's keep the line moving." She replies, "You'll have to wait. I'm still winning."
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A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and it immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse''s mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip.

She tries to throw her arms around the horse''s neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse''s pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.

She starts to lose consciousness, but to her great fortune, Bobby, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.

[Roniloveyou:)]

omfg these are sooooo funny ;D ;D ;D
i had my bff read them she was rolling even harder than i was ;D wow goood stuff!

[dobby888]

lol thanks!!! this is for your friend then....

A young lady was sick and tired of all the blond jokes she was hearing. So she decided to do something about it: she would study one particular subject and became brilliant at it. So she decided to memorize the state capitals. At a thingytail party, she overheard another blond joke, and angrily declared that she was so smart that she could name any of the state capitals. Challenging her, a male party-goer said, "OK, how about Mississippi?" With great pride she answered, "M".
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Two blondes are walking down the street passing the YMCA. One blonde turns to the other and says" Boy are they stupid. They don't know how to spell Macy's!"
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Why do Blondes have TGIF printed on their shoes?

A: Toes Go In First.

[Lola_La_Fringe7]

Top 10 Dumb Blonde Jokes
Yes, the top 10 blonde jokes of all time!
(In reverse order - best last.)

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Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?
Answer: The brunette - the blonde would have to stop for directions!


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The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"


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A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked,

"Where did you get that?"
The pig replied,
"I won her in a raffle!"


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A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.

Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.

She showed him the instructions on the tin,

"For best results, put on two coats".


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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.
First Blonde:

"I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Second Blonde:
Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!


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Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.


The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said,

"I think they could be bird tracks."

The second blonde went to look and said,

"No, I think these are deer tracks."

They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!


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A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,


"You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."


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A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling,

"You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"


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A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.

Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said,

"I can't take this, you're my friend."
But the blonde insisted saying,
"No. A bet's a bet."

Then the redhead said

"Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money."

The blonde replied

"Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!"


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A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette.

When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.

After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought,

"Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!"
She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,
"If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?"
The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try.

The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157."

The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.

Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said.

"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"

[dobby888]

uhm.... ok.............

Boss ask the blond for some scratch paper. Like sand paper she said? No plain like this sheet. So she put the sheet in the Zerox and made copies.
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One day, a blonde girl was running out to check her mail and a neighbor was watching.

Five minutes later ,she checked it again. This happened all through the day until the neighbor went outside and stopped her and asked her why she kept looking in her mail box and her reply was:

"My computer keeps telling me I have mail!"
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A couple of blondes were driving through Louisiana when they came to a sign that told them they were almost to Natchitoches.

They argued all the way there about how to pronounce the name of the town. Finally they stopped for lunch. After getting their food, one of the blondes said to the cashier, "Can you settle an argument for us? Very slowly, tell us where we are."

The cashier leaned over the counter and said: "Buuurrrrrr-Gerrrrrr Kiiiinnnnnggg."

[Lola_La_Fringe7]

hystericalllll!!!!!!
*Lolz*

[dobby888]

Why thank you!!! *bows all around*  "and now for the academy award" LOLZ!!

A blonde was out of work looking for odd jobs. She knocks on the door of a rich guy and asks if there's anything she can do. 'Sure, paint my porch. I'll give you fifty dollars.' An hour later she tells him she's done, but it wasn't a porch. It was a Lexus 
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A 1st grader comes home excited and says to her mother "Mommy, Mommy, I can count all the way to 20 and nobody else in my class can count past 10. Is that because I'm blonde?" Her mother replies "Why yes dear it is".

The next day the 1st grader comes home and says "Mommy, Mommy, I can say my ABCs all the way to M and no one else in my class can say them past E. Is that because I'm blonde?" And her mother says "Why yes Dear it is."

The day after that the 1st grader comes home excited again and says "Mommy Mommy, I have the biggest boobs in my gym class. Is that because I'm blonde?" And her mother says, No Dear, it's because you're 23".
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A blonde enters a store to buy a pair of pink curtains. The salesman asks what size she needs. She promptly replies, "Fifteen inches." The salesman says, "That sounds very small -for what room do you need them?" The blonde tells him they are not for a room. They are for her computer monitor. The surprised salesman replies, "But, Miss, computers do not need curtains!" to which she replies,
"Hellllooooooooo! I've got Windoooooows!"
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lolz!!

[Lola_La_Fringe7]

omg hysteerical

[dobby888]

thanks guys!!! *bows*

Q: How can you tell when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies? A: There's M&M shells all over the floor. 
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Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A "blonde" lady walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder."The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement & announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away. Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde? We ask for the height, and she gives us the length.
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I decided that I needed a few days off and I realized that I had run out of vacation time already. I figured the best way to get the boss to send me home was to act a little crazy so he'd think I was burning out and give me some time off.
I went into work early the other day and began hanging upside down from the ceiling.
Just then one of my coworkers (she's blonde...it'll be important later) came in and asked me what I was doing.
"Shh," I said, "I'm acting crazy to get a few days off. I'm a light bulb."
A second later the boss walked by and asked me what I was doing.
"I'm a light bulb!" I exclaimed.
"You're going crazy," he said. "Take a few days off."
With that, I jumped down and started walking out. The blonde started following me, and the boss asked where she was going.
"I can't work in the dark!" she said.

[LordBlaZe]

lmao those are too jkz. Keep em up!!

[dobby888]

If you insist..... lolz!!!!

Two young women were speeding down the highway at 90 mph. "Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "Any cops following us?"
The blonde passenger turned around and had a long look at the road behind them. "Yeah, looks like it."
"Are his flashers on?"
The blonde turned around again: "Yup....nope....yup....nope....yup....nope....yup....."
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A man was about to tell a dumb blonde story when the first of 5 blondes at the next table said:"Mister, I have a black belt in karate, my blonde friend here is a professional boxer, her neighbor here is a wrestler, and the other two blondes here are construction workers..Do you still intend to tell your joke?"
"I guess not," said the man. " I don't want to explain it five times."
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[LordBlaZe]

lmao, those are both awesome. Keep posting.

[Lola_La_Fringe7]

ya toats