Much Needed Downtime

[Ginny Weasly]

Ginny smiled at him, winking, "Malfoy, the little ferret. He's unimportant."

She hadn't thought that years ago, she had almost killed him, her temper having gotten the better of her that time. But now, her anger had ebbed, more important things had come into her life.

"As for work, I quit all three of my jobs when I found out I was pregnant." She shrugged, pushing her hair behind her ears now, out of her face and out of her way. She didn't feel any remorse from quitting her jobs, she hadn't liked them much. "I really don't wish to go back to the Ministry or the school and ask for my jobs back." She rolled her shoulders, grimacing at the thought.

"You thirsty?" She asked, suddenly changing the subject as she headed towards the kitchen.

[Xaver]

"You don't have to."

He shrugged.
If she wanted to go back to work - he was behind her on it. But, if she didn't, she surely didn't have to..

His eyes followed her, as she moved around the couch, his ears catching her soft footfalls as she padded, behind him, into the kitchen.

"No, thank you. I ate and drank too much at dinner, already.."

Xaver patted his abdomen, the muscles beneath his thin shirt as hard, and compact as ever - but sore.


"Going from no meals allowed, if I remember correctly, to gorging yourself, just isn't healthy."

[Ginny Weasly]

"That's true. It's highly recommened you exercise before eating as well." Ginny called from the kitchen, shrugging slightly not really paying attention to what she said. She was just spouting off something she had learned in school, long ago. To be seriouse, she was sligtly nervouse. She and Xaver hadn't really been alone, not for over a few minutes or so.

It was strange to have him to herself like this, though not bad. But she just didn't know what to say to him.

What do you say to the guy who you love, who got you pregant and who was MIA for three years?

[Xaver]

(((OH, boy. Last line. 'Twas sad. =( lol I was like 'she has a point oh jeez she has a point awww she has a point.. they're so adorable.' <- Yeah. That's how it went.. Don't ask.)))


Xaver smiled slightly, to himself, at her comment.
He listened to her move into the kitchen, his thoughts, themselves, meandering along a path he hadn't really had time to think about, recently.

Oh, yeah.
Great guy, he was... The good boyfriend-now-fiance who abandons her for three years, and doesn't have a d**n thing to show for it.
Ginny had told him to quit beating himself up about it - but the silence, that was about them now, was proof enough that his lack of excuse so far just wasn't good enough.
Wasn't good for them?..

Xaver didn't remember almost everything that had happened.
As it was turning out, the things he did remember, made him almost grateful for his sudden amnesia.. But was it better?


He tilted his head back against the couch, his eyes moving over the ceiling.

The silence was indefinate.


"Have we changed so much?.." he asked quietly.

[Ginny Weasly]

Ginny came back, holding a glass of water, leaning against the wall, wtaching him as he though. When he spoke, she thought about what he said, the silence no longer oppressive, simply thoughtful.

"I think...we just don't know how to act..." SHe shrugged, her thoughts soft, out of range, "I think, we just don't know where to pick up."

She shook her head, "Where we left off? Can't exactly do that. We have a child. Where we would be if you had gone missing? Well, we don't know how things would have been, do we?" She sighed, slightly upset at herself, "I don't want to push you into taking Cody and I on as another responsibility."

[Xaver]

He slowly looked over at her, his blue eyes dark, and thoughtful. Mellow, despite the quick pace of his thoughts.

"Ginny," he said quietly, "being with you again was a dream I didn't ever know could exist again... But with you and Cody? Our son?"

He was standing, then, where he had sat just a moment before, watching her. Absorbing the way the warm shadows of the flames danced across her features. Noting the highlights of her hair. And eyes. She was perfect, really. Neither more, or less. Perfect to him.

"Such an idea was, not very long ago, beyond my wildest of dreams. I wouldn't have believed until I saw him, or you again, that it was possible..."


He shook his head, turning, and walking to the fire, standing just above the open, heated flames, and resting his elbows on the mantle. He set his chin onto his upper arm, looking over at her again, trying to find sanity in the jumbling of his thoughts.

"No... I suppose we can't try to start from where we left off, can we?"
He smiled, solemnly.
"Things would have been less complicated though, probably... Leave it to me to put that much of a gap to fill in.."

The halfish smile faded, and he let his arms drop, shaking his head.

"Ginny - you speak of yourself as a burden... It would, and never has been, like that. Yes, there would be a responsibility - and I would be adament every moment in trying to keep you both safe, and happy... But never a burden..."

He looked away, into the fire again, the flames dimming in reaction to his sudden emotion.

"I ....can't even remember.. "

Xaver raked a hand through his dark hair..

[Ginny Weasly]

Ginny watched him, pushing off from the wall and placing her cup on a small table as she walked over to him. She grabbed one of his arms, half forcing him to turn and face her. Both her hands held his wrist, and she leaned close, looking in his eyes, seemingly seeing not his thoughts but his soul.

"I have one request of you if you want to stay with me and Cody," She told him now, her voice soft, but firm.

[Xaver]

Xaver's dark, moody blue eyes were less doors, and more windows to his inner creature - and open to her. Open to her, more than to anyone else. Ever. Besides perhaps Cody, though the little boy hadn't exactly practiced soul-searching on his father yet.

He turned, following her will, meeting her gaze with the intensity of his own, and then becoming still.


"That is?"

[Ginny Weasly]

"You must never, ever break his heart."

Her eyes locked onto his, and she gave his wrist a small shake, "Lying is acceptable at times, yelling is ok when needed. But if you break his heart, Xaver, I won't ever let you forget it."

Her jaw was set in a firm line, "Cody is all I've had for three years. The most important thing in the world. I will not have anyone, even his father, swoop in and hurt him, even if it was unintended."

[Xaver]

"You mean, like I broke yours?"

Don't break Cody's heart, like he had once broken Ginny's.

Xaver felt his heart lodge, somewhere between his chest, and his throat.


"..Do you think I will do that?"

An open question - meaning only what he asked...

[Ginny Weasly]

Ginny paused, he had said what she had thought. She closed her eyes, swallowing, then opened them, "Yes, like you broke mine." She fought hard for control over her voice, and she managed, barley.

"I don't know if you'll do it to him. I didn't know you'd do it before."

[Xaver]

His heart gave a powerful, hard jolt.

It was much harder to keep any kind of composure, now, when he felt as if he was suffocating.
He cursed himself.
Hell - who was he to complain? He didn't even remember being gone. She'd endured it.

Like he had broken her heart...

There was no mending that. No way any amount of apologies or time could make up for it.
What had he done?
Everything wrong.


"You are willing to take that chance? With him. With yourself? That I won't hurt you again?"

[Ginny Weasly]

"I don't know." She shook her head, sadly taking her eyes from his and looking to the floor. She still held his wrist, tightly, not letting go.

"I don't want it to happen again...but I'm not to worried for myself...it's him I worry about." She bit her lip, "I'll live if you leave again...as for him, it would devestate him..."

[Xaver]

"I had left, on my own accord, under the impression that I would hopefully be back near immediately. For good. I stayed away and for grounds I'm still not certain... But if the longing that wretches at me every moment I am not at your side accounts for anything, even little - I did not stay away on my own compliance."

Xaver was still, beneath her touch.


"You can tell me to leave, you know," he said softly. "Tell me to go, and I'll let you raise Cody the superior way you have already begun, into the great man he will one day be. You can tell him whatever you think is best, and I'll not come around to say otherwise."
His heart numbed.
"...Tell him I was the man I was born to be, supposed to be. And that I went back to that life... Leave out the part of the father I was trying to be. The lover I longed to be, again."

[Ginny Weasly]

"I don't want you to leave." She muttered, not looking at him, her gaze fixed on the floor with determination. "I just don't want my baby getting hurt."