Forgotten Love

[ChoChangHP118]

(The reason for that I know not...)

Sirius stood motionless, his eyes widened for just a second, when she used his surname. He looked at her still, his head tilted to the right now. Watching her.

"Suddenly so formal? Do you not consider me a friend any longer?" Sirius grunted a laugh. A small part of him stung at the thought, but he ignored it.
He had promised himself he wouldn't care about anyone anymore,
and he wasn't about to get weaker by questioning her care.

"Come on Gin, fight. Fight like I've watched you do before, fight in a way you would fight someone not your friend. For I see, I am nothing but a man to you anymore." Sirius thought for a moment, and tilted his head back. A howl of laughter came then, and he stomped his left foot forcefully to the floor. He turned back to her, smiling tauntingly.

His face went blank very suddenly. He realized he was not sweating anymore. His eyes, became unfocused, and he stumbled for the chair. He was no longer smiling, his heart pounded in his chest, he could practically hear it. His face turned to pure fear, and his eyes met Ginny's.

He recovered quickly, ignoring the wave of nausea that had hit him. He drank so much, puking was a typical thing for him now. He didn't normally endure that until a few hours of not drinking though, and it had only been minutes from his last one. He stood straight up again, though his hand returned to the stool. He kept his eyes on hers, suddenly feeling nothing else but anger.

"Do not tell me what to do, you have no control over me anymore!" Sirius practically shouted at her, his head shaking furiously to the sides. He held his wand farther out in front. Daring her with her eyes to advance.

He would lose, he figured... but this would be something fun, something to get his mind off of things. Maybe he would get the chance to hurt her. It was a quick thought, hurt her physically as much as she had hurt Sirius emotionally. Unintentionally or not, he had gotten hurt by her.

He wanted payback for the first time ever, whether it was her choice or not he would hurt her.
He just...
had to.

[Ginny Weasly]

Ginny watched him for a moment, silent while he told her to fight him, silent while he almost fell, and even silent when he yelled at her. Her arms were at her sides, her hands unclenched, even as angry as she was. Did he really want her to fight him?
She'd fought people ten times his strength, disintegrated them into nothingness. She'd massacred entire villages, slaughtered entire armies. She was no weakling. Sirius knew this.
For him to challenge her was an insult.

"You want me to fight you? You say I have no control over you?" She let lose a hollow laugh that held no humor in it at all. She held up her right hand, arm straight, palm facing Sirius. Without moving, she used her telekinesis to push Sirius in the chest. It was weak push, just enough to make his body shudder. Just enough to remind him who he was pointing his wand at.
Ginny had a feeling he was past caring.

"Do not ask me to fight you, Black. I will tear you apart."
She dropped her hand, folding her arms.
"Remember who I am."

Unbidden, images came to Sirius's mind. Images of a younger Ginny, though she looked practically the same. The war, fighting alongside her friends. Images of Ginny fighting her ex husband, stopping just short of ending his life. Images of her wiping out entire groups of people.

"And if you chose not to remember who I am, remember my husband."
Now, Sirius could see clearly the image of Xaver Xian. Black hair, ice blue eyes, pale skin. The night that Xaver almost killed Sirius, knocking him to the ground in maybe five blows. Xaver's words from that night, still burned in all of their memories.
"I wouldn't kill you," Xaver had murmured, darkly. "I would.. skin you. I would enjoy the slow, agonizing process of ..tearing you apart. And, you would watch me do it. Watch, as you bled from every f__king orifice you possess in the sack of bones you so pathetically inhibit."

Ginny let the images fade from Sirius's mind, her eyes keeping on his. Her arms folded, her feet slightly apart, she looked like a small but impenetrable wall. She scowled darkly at Sirius.
"You anger me, you upset me. But worst of all, you disgust me, Black. Sitting here in a bar, drinking away your sorrows? Pathetic." She spat the last word.

[ChoChangHP118]

Sirius felt the shudder, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't close off his mind. He was to distracted, to angry. His heart ached, he felt he was being torn apart by the images, the deaths... the Ginny he barely knew. He wished he could fight back, wished he was powerful enough. A false sense of security made him feel as though he was capable of fighting back.
Of course he wasn't.

Then Xaver flooded his mind, every feature of the creature. He closed his eyes, trying to block out the images. It was no use, Ginny Weasley knew no bounds.

He felt relief, as the memories left him. He let his head drop for a moment, his eyes still closed. A small sigh left him, his body shuddered... then relaxed. He stood statue still, he looked almost asleep.

"What else am I supposed to do?" He growled, opening his eyes. He stared at the floor, and closed his eyes once more. His body shuddered, every muscle tensed. Slowly though, he opened his eyes once more, and his wand fell to his side. He still felt the power, but tried to ignored it.

His breathing increased as he tilted his head to the left, staring at her. She looked angry, he shook his head a bit, looking at her as he did so. So angry, and yet still so beautiful.

Sirius looked pained, his face was contorted into a frown, his brow was very stressed. His nostrils flared as his chest moved up and down.

It was dead silent for a moment...
before hell broke lose.

Sirius closed his eyes, another wave of nausea hitting him. He doubled over, clutching his body. He stumbled, but didn't fall. His heart, his mind, everything suddenly felt like it was on fire. There was no relief, just agony. He wriggled in pain, and crouched on his right foot. His knee touched his chest, his hands he put firmly on the floor. His wand he still somehow managed to grip, as he swung his left leg from under him, making it smash into the stool next to him.

It tumbled to the floor with a loud bang!
Sirius yelled then. He knew nothing else to do. What he was feeling, was indescribable. He wanted relief from whatever it was. He closed his eyes, clenching his fists on the floor. He stayed balanced, but threw his head back. All he heard was the yelling, not words... just pain.

He grabbed for the stool legs with both hands, taking a firm grasp on it.
He dragged it across the floor very quickly, letting go as it got to the other side of him. It slid across the floor, and rammed into a table across the way. The table, struck strongly, wobbled for a moment before falling as well.

Sirius continued yelling... everything was coming into his mind. Images of the past, present, people, memories, everything that had ever hurt him. He could not tell why, perhaps Ginny was doing this to him, he wasn't to concerned... just wanted it to stop.

His hands fell to the floor, and he looked as if he was bowing towards them.
The yelling continued,
He didn't know how to stop.

[Ginny Weasly]

"What else am I supposed to do?"

Ginny had been about to answer him when his screaming started. She didn't flinch, though. The screams continued beyond what she thought was normal. What was wrong with him? Was he crazy?
Well, yeah.
But not like this.

As Sirius fell to the ground, she took half a step forward. Somehow, she knew he wasn't faking this. He really was in pain. From what though she had no idea. His hands went out, as if he were bowing down before her and the two others.

"Sirius?" She questioned, but she doubted he heard her through his screaming.

[ChoChangHP118]

(WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LET'S FRICK THIS UP!)
Pati...........

Externally Sirius felt, heard, and endured his own screaming.
Internally however, a new voice.

Pat...........

It was painful to hear his own cries, his mind felt disconnected from his voice, a different person completely.
It took him only a moment to grasp reality, or rather what had seeped into reality. Far from that as he was, he managed to focus his mind... and listen.

Patience, perfection, persevere.

It was soft, a monotone voice as if spoken in a library to avoid an unruly glare. Sirius was no nut though experience showed people otherwise. Magic was a weakness that he did not have the patience to always learn about, especially in concerns to the mind. It was always a strange thing for him, he felt disconnected more times then not from his own head, but shrugged it off.

This voice however was smoothing. Not only was it suggestions, but Sirius felt almost compelled to oblige. He heard his own screams, but thinking this other voice... these other thoughts besides his own... he wanted to listen to the words, and calm his own self.

Calm your own self... like that could honestly happen. I need to get a grip, whatever is happening isn't something to think to much into... prolly to much to drink. Snap out of it, go screw with Gin some more. Hm, that sounds like something of interest to me.

Patience, perfection, persevere.

You are losing it kid. Quit this. Just stop screaming.

Sirius tried to close his mind but was much to drunk and much to inexperienced to do so. Besides, the voice wasn't causing pain... wasn't telling him to go destroy tens of thousands of people... it was just offering some simple suggestions.

Now the alcohol is making more sense.

Pat........

Externally Sirius shuddered, rejecting the thoughts as if they were of no importance. He managed to find himself, and find his physical and mental self. In his thoughts flooded images that burned everything in himself. He shook his head, hurting the pressure in the first place. He was aware now, at least.

He found his voice, though the thoughts still circled his head. He felt nauseous from them, and whimpered under the pressure of past, present, and everything else that had collapsed in him. He felt the anger, felt the pain, felt the sadness, all at once... all with the memories.

Then a thought came to him- Sarah Black. The name seemed foreign to him. Yes he had thought of her many times, but always out of sadness or frustration. This however was a different memory, an experience they had both learned and lived through. The power that Sirius dealt with for such a short period of time, the complications with his family member. Sirius remembered all of this suddenly, as if it were screaming in his ear. He hadn't thought of it for a long time- years if he was so blessed.

Of course; it clicked. His wand, the inscription so strongly reminding of his family had awoken something within him that he had only experienced once, and in levels that paled in comparison to the strength he felt now from his wand, and his memories.

Though Sirius stayed on the floor with labored breathing and short bursts of howling, his mind was somewhere else, thinking back on the power. It felt like such a distant memory, he had always been one to not pay attention to the most crucial of facts.
It hurt to think deeply, and every part of him ached. It was but for another moment before he realized his clamped shut eyes and motion filled posture that began catching up to him.

Doubling over, Sirius puked.

Sick...

(Don't know if any of you are gonna take a stab at this with me again. Ginny should you chose to do so, perhaps don't jump into your mind games just yet? Could get some more out of Sirius if she at least doesn't tell him or protect him from his own mind.)

[Ginny Weasly]

((can do chicka-dee. All you need do is tell me where you wanna go. :) ))

His screaming went on and Ginny felt sick at the sound of it. She wasn't sure what to do, was conflicted. He was--had been--a friend. She didn't just jump into her friends' heads. She'd never done it to Xaver, to Sirius so few times. Now she wondered if that was what she should do. Disconnect him, put him into a sleep?

The screams turned into short choppy howls. Still nerve jerking, but more bearable. He puked and she frowned, her brow wrinkling together. Despite the fact he had somehow been able to tread on her every nerve, she was concerned for him. He'd almost ruined her marriage before it had began once, and yet she still felt a connection.
She loved this guy, but not like she loved her husband.

Ginny knew somewhere in her that if she had never met Xaver, if he had never been sent to Hogwarts, she might have given Sirius a chance.

It was what made her care about him. She's taught him, befriended him, helped him. He'd helped her. Ginny felt like they had a bond. She knew a lot about magical bonds, and she felt like the one between them was such.

"Sirius?" She let her concern lace her voice as she took another step, avoiding the puke and kneeling down next to him.

[ChoChangHP118]

As his bodies fight or flight defenses took over, Sirius fought back the sudden urge to puke again. He shuddered, forcing the ick away from his mind and throat, he didn't want to embarrass himself even more. His senses were shutting down, he was aware of the presence of others around him, could tell he was on the floor and his knee was slightly covered in puke, could hear distant sounds of people outside, and could even make out one very distinct person next to him.

As much as he was upset by her, the site of Ginny made him calmer. He closed his eyes, still whimpering, his body aching all over... both physically and emotionally. As if the taste of stale liquor and stomach acid wasn't enough, Sirius tasted an all to familiar taste. Though he enjoyed it, even the site of it he knew would make his unsuspecting friend become even more uncomfortable.

"Blowedads," he muttered. Even in his head the word sounded muffled. He shook his head, which proved to be an unsuccessful way to increase his dizziness just enough to make him clutch his side.

He tried again, this time focusing on each individual letter. "Blood..." He managed, licking his lips... determining that he had bitten it even harder. He soaked in the taste and breathed in the silence, shaking as he exhaled.



Well at least this means I won't be fired.
William stood watching the two from the floor. Everything had happened so quickly, the squibs old eyes could barely keep up. All he could tell now, all that mattered to him really, was that Sirius was calm,
That Ginny had saved the day just like everyone said she was so incredibly capable of,
That the damage done could be replaced,
And that he held a dirty dish rag that would soon say hello to the very elaborate mixtures of drinks on the floor.

He was almost happy at how quickly it had gone from catastrophe to silence. He was also a bit worried at the thought of what had happened behind the scenes that he himself did not poses the power to understand. Even Sirius's screams seemed incredibly out of the ordinary from his usual self, which from experience Willy had learned was unstable and a bit frightening. However what had happened shook the very core of this man, and William saw it for what it was...

Mental note to ask Mrs. Weasley about what happened later.

[Ginny Weasly]

Ginny's stomach turned at the mere word. She could smell it before he spoke. The puke on the floor didn't bother her, but the blood did. It turned her stomach, made her want to throw up. Nervousness flared up in her eyes at the word, she shifted slightly and bit her lip, forcing her stomach to calm itself.

"Yeah...it's ok." It wasn't but she lied.

"William?" She didn't look at the barkeep, "do you have any rooms available? I think Mr. Black needs to sleep ff his alcoholic binge..."

That wasn't it though and she knew it. Something else was wrong here. She could feel it in her bones.

[ChoChangHP118]

Sirius heard the words, but understood them for what they were- lies. He numbly grabbed at his shirt, lifting it to his lips, hiding the blood. Typically he would have done a spell, but found it to difficult to do from exhaustion. He settled for the next best thing, he hated Ginny's uncomfortable nature in terms of blood.

William did not jump at the sound of his own name, but simply nodded, his eyes locked at the floor where Sirius had lost some of his morning drinks.

Having worked there for so long, he had become a skilled barman. Always keeping up to date for his morning shift with anything unnesccesary or complications that needed to be fixed. After so long he became very skilled at his profession, and loved this homely job of barkeep. He contemplated, clicking his tongue to the back of his lower teeth absentmindedly.

Do I clean 'er up now, or 9888888882p0-0 wait until after Sirius is settled...

He struggled, thinking of the positive and negatives from the mess.
Clutching his rag tighter he forced his eyes from the floor, and nodded to Ginny on the floor.

"Wha'ever you think will be right Ms. Weasley, Sirius is as welcome as welcome can be." William smiled, satisfied that he could help.

[improvedmemory1]

(Eyy kids.)

Scott took this news to his advantage. The lowly school teacher could do nothing but watch as the scene unfolded before his eyes. He was terrified of what was going on with Sirius, unsettled by the idea that he could not understand something happening right in front of him. It wasn't until now when needed assistance was brought up that Scott realized his potential in helping the situation.

He spoke up, hardly considering who it was that would need the room for a night, but also forgetting what he came her to forget. And for that, he would later be thankful.

"You know, I live right next door. So as to prevent any more complications in this bar for a day, Mr. Black would be very welcome to stay with myself. I honestly do live just next door, it isn't very big... but it would be enough for him as he... recovers." He chose his words carefully, desperate to keep calm though knowing that even the sound of his voice could interrupt something violent in Sirius.

Perhaps a part of Scott was eager for yet more of a distraction, perhaps he felt sorry for the man laying in a mess of a heap on the floor, or even perhaps he was curious about the sudden outburst that he had witnessed... either way... He wanted to help.

Curiosity kills. . .

[Ginny Weasly]

Ginny gave Scott a grateful smile, silently relieved. She knew William did not want Sirius here, knew Rosemerta wouldn't want him here, would have only done it out of a favor for her since she would have asked. But this was much less trouble.

"Help me walk him there?"
Ginny could have done it on her own if need be, she had dragged bigger men than Sirius Black across miles. Usually, though, that was under extreme circumstances. She had learned to accept help where needed.

She was thankful Sirius attempted to hide the blood, but she could still smell it.

[ChoChangHP118]

Sirius felt a wave of anger fly over him. It attacked everything around him, trying to get in his head and make him yell. He wanted to object, would rather spend time on the street rather then Scott Stevens house. He scowled, his face growing darker, his anger building up.

Patience...

The voice collided with his mind like a bullet and it shocked Sirius. He gasped for breath as his head got uncomfortably painful. He forced back yells, swallowed, closed his eyes... and breathed.

A strange calm fell over him. Silence in his thoughts like a small flame. He was scared, but ignored what he was enduring.

Dam alcohol...

The serenity made him quiet, and he nodded, obliging to the use of Scott's household for the evening.
He was much to weak however, to stand.

Such a simple matter for others did not come as easily with Sirius. He hated that he would need help getting his frail body to another room, and especially hated that it was to be Scott to help him... but more importantly Ginny? He did not want in any circumstance to have to accept help from her.

[improvedmemory1]

"Help me walk him in there?"

"Uhh..." Scott was taken back, highly unsuspecting an agreement to the idea. He nodded quickly however, recovering. "Yes yes, of course. Here if you could just get him by his left left shoulder there and I'll take care of his right side." Scott was light on his feet as he bent to Sirius's right side, placing the intoxicated man's arm on his own shoulder, he waited for Ginny to join him, though he knew he could certainly lift Sirius himself. He wanted her help, perhaps it would keep Sirius calm.

He ignored the smell of puke, reminding himself of what his mother used to tell him when he was a child.

Monkey see monkey do.

Though he was feeling shock of the smell, he ignored his stomach curling... wanting to mimic the spilled remnants.

[Ginny Weasly]

Ginny held her own breath as she knelt and helped Scott pick Sirius up. The smell of blood was growing stronger as more of it seeped into his mouth and it made her already fair skin grow pale. Slowly she breathed through her mouth in order to avoid the smell, but doing that made her think of the stench covering her tounge. Ew.

She nodded to Scott and the two of them heaved Sirius up and across the room. He wasn't heavy, in fact it felt like he'd lost a lot of weight since she'd last seen him. They left the bar, Ginny smiling once at William before the door closed. She let Scott lead the way to his home, silent and concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other.

They entered Scott's home and Ginny spoke, "D'you have a room for him?"

[ChoChangHP118]

Sirius was so desperate to deny the help, but was too weak to deny it. He walked obediently with Ginny by his side as they entered Scott's house. The least likely place Sirius would want to find himself at this point, but he didn't have any other choice. He walked like a dog on a leash.

Stupid dog.

He knew he was walking into a dangerous place... rather willingly.
His head was silent, what a peaceful thing. He was to focussed to lose his view of the floor, he didn't know what the rest of the place looked like... just that the floor was rather shiny.. he could almost see his reflection.

Clean freak...