1000 Things Snape (no offense,ShuiBee) would never do

[cho chang]

I think we've already got 1000 things!

[MrsRadcliffe0480]

I don't think so. *thinks* 1,000 is a lot. There probably weren't even 500 yet.

[.:~*Shuiliya*~:.]

Yeah.  We're no where near 1,000...

[Michelle_Granger]

ooooohhhhhhhhh...I got alot!


:


Give me a hug!" (Merc Girlie)

"Aghh! I broke a nail!" (Merc Girlie)

"Save me, Harry!" (Merc Girlie)

"Oh, Harry! You look so sexy on that broom! (Tanya)

"Can't we all just get along?" (Possibly) (Lady Mondegreen)

"Yeah, well, ya know what Dumbledore? I still don't have that Defense Against the Dark Arts job, I'm sick of being a lackey, I quit! You hear me? I freakin' quit!" (Lady Mondegreen)

"Harry! I... am... your... father!" (Well, you never know, J.K. could suddenly go lazy.) (Lady Mondegreen)

"Dumbledore, I'm through teaching Potions!" (Trixx)

"I'm taking a sick day!" (Trixx)

"I'm sorry" (Trixx)

"I admit I was wrong" (Trixx)

"Voldemort, you sexy thing!" (Snake)

"Hey! Isn't that the cute new female student? I've gotta send her this Valentine Card!" (Sailor Neptune)

"Oh, Minerva, you look simply divine!" (Sailor Neptune)

"I'm getting married!" (Sailor Neptune)

"Harry, guess what, we're related!!!" 0_o (Sailor Neptune)

"Nonsense, pink and black have always gone together." (Cody)

"Hey, Sirius, let's let bygones be bygones" (Lucy)

"Black is so last season" (Lucy)

"I wonder if it's about time I cut my hair?" (Lucy)

"I'm getting engaged" (Lucy)

"I'm so horny!" (Snake)

"Longbottom, you have the makings of a brilliant wizard." (Rebecca)

"I'm late for my aerobics class." (Kit and Cody)

"Thank you for those lovely daffodils, Potter! They really brighten up the dungeon." (Kit and Cody)

"I'm going to count to ten, and when I turn around, whoever took my rubber ducky had better have it put back, or else." (Kit and Cody)

"Nuts." (Kit and Cody)

"It was like buttah." (a la Linda Richman) (Kit and Cody)

"Shall we go to the bedroom, or do it right here on the table?" (Kit and Cody)

"(singing) I've been really tryyy-in' baby
To hold back this feelin'
For soooo long..."
(that's "Let's Get It On", by Marvin Gaye) (Kit and Cody)

"I don't know what you've done with my underwear, but if even one of those sequins is out of place when I get it back, some heads are going to roll..." (Kit)

"Harry, things between will never be the same since our drunken one night stand, but I want you to know that if you ever need tutoring in 'special areas', I'm here for you." (Vampire Cat)

"Lockhart, you look wonderful in those pink robes! Where did you buy them?" (Dino Girl)

"Oh, do be a dearie, Minerva, and bring me another scoop of strawberry ice cream... Pretty please with whipped cream and a cherry on top?" (Cel)

"Tag, you're it!" (Kit and Dave)

"Pull my finger." (Kit and Dave)

"I'll arm-wrestle you." (Kit and Dave)

"Do these robes make me look fat?" (Kit and Dave)

"Hey, are you gonna eat that?" (Kit and Dave)

"Go Gryffindor! Lions for the cup!" (Robert)

"This round's on me!" (Lucy)

"Anyone know of any evening classes?I'm thinking of broadening my horizons." (Lucy)

"Yeah, well, I was into the whole Deatheater thing for a while, but the scene wasn't for me" (Lucy)

"Put those handcuffs away Potter, I'm not that kind of man!" (Lucy)

*Waves some pom-poms*
"Brr! It's COLD in here1
There must be some Hogwarts in the at-mos-sphere!" (Vampire Cat)

(sniffles) "I think I'm gonna cry." (Kiomi)

(singing) "Lollipop! Lollipop! Oh Lolli-lolli, lollipop!" (Kiomi)

"Ron...shove it. Hermione...get laid. Potter...bring the whip." (Kiomi)

"Yes, I'd like to buy a Harry Potter plushie." (Kiomi)

"I've got the urge to Herbal! Gonna Herbal in the shower, for another half an hour!" (Kiomi)

"Sirius... I love you, man!" (Kiomi)

(valley view voice) "Oh-My-God. Look at her butt...it is like, SO big." (Kiomi)

*singing* "Wild thing!
You make my heart sing!
You make everything... groovy!
Wild thing!" (Lucy)

"Come and sit next to me, little girl, I have a small surprise for you!" (Tanya)

"You know, Lockhart, I really admire the way you took down that werewolf!" (Casper)

"I love your hair!" (Casper)

*singing, in the bathroom* "Rubbah Ducky. You're The One! You Make Bathtime Lots-o-Fun!" (Sara)

"Dude, where's my car?!" (Sabra and Christine)

"Take this down class - hit it boys! *singing and dancing* 'Round round round round, I getta round, I getta OOOOOO-EEEE!' Bloody hell." (Jennifer)

Snape would never sing, basically. Not even hum

"Do you think I should get a haircut or should I grow it as long as Professor Dumbledore's?"

"The Backsteet Boys and N Sync rule!" (Sabra)

"Voldemort.... What a dork." (Shyria)

"I just washed my hair and I can't do a thing with it!" (Tammi the 'Little Pigeon')

"Oh Minerva, surely you're not going to do what I think you're going to do with that kipper? Oh, well if you insist, go on then, only warm it up first." (Rachel)

(singing and dancing on a desk in Potions, wearing top hat and tails) "You're just too good to be true... Can't take my eyes off you... I LOVE YOU HARRY, LA LA LA LA LA LAA, I LOVE YOU HARRY, LA LA LA LA LA LAAA, so let me love you Harry, let me love you Harry, let me love yoooooooooou..." (Rachel)

"My hobbies? Well, apart from the usual - you know - stamp-collecting, chicken farming, taxidermy, but I really love DJ-ing. I just got my own mixing deck for Christmas. Would you like to hear one of my mix tapes?" (Rachel)

(Chanting) "Go Westlife, go Westlife, BRIAN I LOVE YOU!" (Rachel)

"In vain I have struggled, but my feelings will not be conquered - Mr Weasley, you must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you." (That's Mr Darcy's speech from Pride and Prejudice) (Rachel)

"You look nice today, Potter!" (Dale)

"Bloody thong wedgie!"*pulls at buttcrack* (Kelli)

"Oh, spank me harder, Gilderoy!" (Rachel)

*Sobbing brokenly* "All I ever wanted was to be l- l- loved! Why won't you love me?" (Rachel)

"Well, what I really want for Christmas is the Barbie Pony Club set, and maybe if I'm a really lucky boy, Mummy will give me the matching horse box." (Rachel)

"MANGO...MANGO...MANGO!" *sees dancing Chris Kattan in sparkly shorts* (need to watch Saturday Night Live to get that one!) (Tubeular 5)

Severus: Hello, my name is Severus Snape and I am a former Death Eater
People in Backround: Hello, Severus (Amy)

"Hello Callie, I love you! I love you!" (Callie)

"Why, Mr Potter. Why don't you have some wonderful cookies and brownies. I made them myself. (Callie)

"Hello Gryffindors! Merry Christmas." (Callie)

"Absolutly spiffing to see you, Harry! What a jolly good day it is! Fancy a game of cricket before having crumpets and tea with the boys?" (Rhian)

(In the best Austin Powers accent he can muster up) "Yeha baby, yeha!" (Lisa Marie)

Potter: Professor Snape, I'm stuck up here on this broom, how am I posta GET DOWN?
Snape: Dead Or Alive, David Bowie or My favorite James Brown (Lisa Marie)

"What a babe!" (Lisa Marie)

"How do you spell my first name?" (Lisa Marie)

"I've fallen and I cant get up!" (Lisa Marie)

"How about everyone of you kids come to my chambers and play a video game with me?" (Lisa Marie)

*in tears in his eyes* "You like me! You really like me!" (while clutching an award for Favorite Teacher) (Luece)

"Jolly good show!"

[MrsRadcliffe0480]

LOL!!!! *falls of chair laughing*

[pansy]

I have a couple.

Snape would never: Send home a report about harry thats actually good

Snape would never: send proffesor Mcgonogall a valentine card saying:

From your black pinned back hair to your high hield shoes
I love you minerva, I want to be the one you choose!

There not that good but they send a little tint to the subject!

[.:~*Shuiliya*~:.]

Heehee!

Here's one...
Snape strides happily down the hall and says to each person he passes, "I've lowered my cholesteral!"  

ha ha... just saw that commercial.. had to put it!

[Lily_Evans]

LMAO! at all of them.

[Gengi]

*Clears thraot at Shui's* :D
Heheheheh!!

[sweetlikepoison]

Okey I have more:

(To the Slytherins) "Ok everybody! They finally came! Now who ordered the Thin Mints?"

"Lockhart, may I borrow your haircurlers A maybe a nightcap?"

(Looks in mirror) "Why hello Mr. Snape, aren't you looking handsome today! Oh yes you are! Yes you are!"

[.:~*Shuiliya*~:.]

The first is sooo hilarious!  The rest are too, but I like the first the most!  ^____^

[sweetlikepoison]

Thanks!   :)

[Lily_Evans]

Ya!

[ronweazley122]

here's one....

snape walks up to harry with a pepsi.harry looks worried.snape:this isn't a pepsi! harry:it isn't? snape:no.its a pepsi twist!*unzips pepsi to reveal that its a pepsi* harry:wow!! :o  snape:and i'm not severus snape!!!  harry:*looks confused*your not?! snape:no*unzips* I'm siruis! harry:*faints*

how was that?heee

[Lily_Evans]

*Cracks up!*

You got that from that commercial with Hallie Something isenberg, Very Funny!