Dude, Where's my broom?

[Lily_Evans]

I wrote this story awhile ago ,along with my cousin and I'll think you'll enjoy it

***

Summary: Harry and crew are at the Burrow, bored out of their trousers, and they all want to play Quidditch. Yes, even Hermione. But- Harry's lost his broom! What will they do? Join them on their magically delicious quest to find Harry's broom!

Disclaimer:  don't own Harry Potter and/or any related characters. Yes, I'm extremely jealous.

A/N: (authors note) This is a humor/action/adventure fanfic that my cousin and I are writing. It's had us laughing our bums off, and I think it will do the same for you.

That being said...  


Chapter 1: Broomless!

Harry, Ron, and Hermione were sitting at Ron's house, bored out of their trousers.

"I wanna play Quidditch!" Ron complained.

"Me too!" said Harry. They both turned to Hermione.

"Me three!" Hermione exclaimed. "What?" she added, noticing their shocked looks.

''Um... Herm! You don't know how to play!"

"I do so! I read all about it!" ("Go figure," muttered Ron.) "How hard could it be?"

"Okay then, Hermione. What if a rogue bludger comes snapping at yoru head? What do you do then?"

"According to page 637 of   Book On How To Play Quidditch For The Unexperienced Player That's Surrounded By People Who Love Quidditch And It's Driving Them Insane," Hermione took a deep breath. That was a mouthful! "And... If a bludger comes snapping at your unexperienced-atQuidditch head, you must do the following:

1. When you see the bludger, quickly bend your back and body forward.

2. Make sure there is no space between you and the handle of your broom.

3. Raise your head after the bludger is gone and continue your game."


Harry stared at her and said, "So, in English, you duck?"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Yes, if you like amateur explanations and/or terms."

Ron playfully shoved Hermione. "Let's play then, before we get a lecture on how to kick off the ground, too!"

[Kiara Johnson]

lol

[Twisted Lemon Sher]

lol that was cool :D

[Lily_Evans]

Thanks!

**

Harry went to look for his broom, which he was sure was in the shed.

He opened the shed, hoping to see his precious Firebolt.

All he found was cobwebs, dust, and a fwe of Arthur Weasley's Muggle contraptions.

Harry's face froze in terror. "My broom! Soembody's stolen my Firebolt!"

Ron and Hermione all of a sudden appeared at his side.

"Harry, maybe somebody's just moved it?" Hermione said in an asking way.

"Harry!" Ron exclaimed. "Where's your broom?"

"Why would someone steal Harry's broom?" Hermione asked thoughtfully.

"Because they don't us to ahve fun, of course," Harry butted in.

"Can you believe our luck! Of all the trees we could've hit, we had to get the one that hits back!" Ron yelled.

"Ron..." Harry said, "It's not second year anymore, plus..."

"We didn't hit a tree," Hermione continued.

Yeah, SO?" Ron protested. "WHY is my dialogue in PINK!?!"



"Um... maybe the authors see you as feminine?" Hermione guessed. (A/N: Right on one, Hermione!)

Or maybe... you LIKE that color!" Harry exclaimed.

Ron wrinkled his nose at the thought.

After a long silence, Hermione spoke first, "Well, we'd better find Harry's broom. He'll need it in the fall, anyways," she said.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione walked away (after leaving a note for the rest of the Weasley's). They walked about twelve steps away from the Burrow when Ron said, "I'm tired!"

"I wish I had my broom!" Harry said. "Then we could fly! I'll go get it..."

Hermione stopped him. "If you had your broom, we wouldn't even be on this magically delicious quest to find it, now would we?"

"Er, yeah, I knew that," Ron acted important. "Hey look! That person up there on that broom could give us a ride!" he pointed up to the sky, where a boy was flying on a broomstick.

"Hey! You!" Hermione yelled up to him. He flew down to the ground and landed.

"What do you need?" Dean Thomas asked.

"A ride?"

"No. Good bye!" Dean zoomed back up and continued his journey.  

[Twisted Lemon Sher]

coolieo

[Lily_Evans]

Grr... Let's go and ask our dear friend Malfoy..." Harry suggested.

They knocked at the Malfoy's big oak door, but it pushed open by itself, revealing the Malfoy Manor.

"Hello?" Ron yelled. "Is anyone home?"

Harry walked into the dining room. Nobody. He saw a bathroom close by. Maybe someone was in there?

When he opened the door, he nearly died of laughter. If only he'd had his camera! Severus Snape stood in front of the mirror, wearing a bright yellow speedo. He was shaking his hips in dance.

"Oh, Sev, you look SO fly!" he said to himself.

Suddenly, Minerva McGonnagall came from absolutely nowhere.

She wore a hot pink bikini.

"Well, did they give us permission to go swimming?" she asked. "And WHERE are your pants?"

Severus nodded and said loudly, "PANTS ARE FOR SQUARES!"

They walked to the sliding glass door.

Harry could've puked. Minerva McGonnagal wore a bikini, but not an ordinary one. This one happened to have a g-string bottom! (A/N: My cuz is really good at thinking things like that up, eh? )

"Perhaps we'd better go," Harry said, returning to Hermione. "No one's home."

"Okay, but we have to find Ron." Ron appeared from nowhere- but something was different. HE HAD GREEN HAIR!!!

"What happened to your head?" Harry asked.

"I found some candy that was obviously enchanted with hair dye!" he yelled angrily.

Hermione laughed. "Can't trust the Malfoys."

That's NOT funny! And WHY is my dialogue PINK again!" Ron screamed.


"Same question, same answer." Harry grinned. "Now let's get back to our magically delicious quest to find my broom!

And they did.


End of Chapter 1: Broomless!

[Lily_Evans]

Chatper 2: The Deliciously Magical Quest to Find Harry's Broom- part 1


"Hey!" Harry said. "Shouldn't that be 'Chapter 2: The Magically Delicious Quest to Find My Broom- Part 1"

"Yeah! Geez, stop confusing us!" Ron yelled at the narrator.

*my bad*

They went on with their magically delicious quest to find Harry's broom.

"Thank you! You got it right that time!" Hermione said.

Okay, ANYWAYS...

The trio walked a while more.

"I'm hungry!" said Ron.

"I should go get my broom and we'll fly to Floren Fortesque's Ice Cream Parlor..." Harry turned as if to go get it.

"HARRY! You don't have your broom! If you did, we wouldn't be on this magically delicious quest to find it!" Hermione yelled, aggitated.

"Oh... right..." Harry said.

"I'm hungry!" Ron complained again.

"I bet you didn't remember that you didn't have your Firebolt!" Hermione ignored Ron.

"Did so!" Harry protested.

"I'm hungry!!!" Ron said again.

"Did not!"

"Did so!"

"I'm hungry!"

"Did not!"

"Did so!"

"Did not!"

"I'M HUNGRY!!!!!'' Ron screamed in their ears.

"So?" Harry said.

"Yeah, so?" Hermione agreed. "Did so!"

"STOP IT ALREADY! We have company." Ron said, pointing.

Cho Chang stood in front of them, a questioning look on her face.

''Umm... hi?" Hermione said.

Harry could only say, "Hobba bobba wolla wolla ba-ba!"

"Hi. What are you up to?" she asked.

"We're on a magically delicious quest to find Harry's broom," Hermione explained.

"Want to join us?" Ron asked.

"Hobba bobba wolla wolla ba-ba!"

Cho smiled. "Sure, what's the harm?" She smiled at Harry, then winked at him.

Harry could hear his heart pound. "Hobba bobba wolla wolla ba-ba!"

"Can we get some FOOD already?" Ron said.

"Fine! We'll get some stinkin' food!" Hermione yelled back at him.

They went to the nearest All-You-Can-Eat buffet diner.

Ron feasted on everything he could get his hands on, including the plate and napkins.

Cho looked at Ron in disgust, expecially when he tried to bite Harry's arm.

"Okay Ron, Let's GO!" Hermione said, slapping him away from Harry's arm.

"No mommy, I don't wanna go to school today! I wanna stay home and bake chocolate-chip cookies wih you!" Ron answered. Hermione pulled Ron from his chair, payed the bill, and they were back on their magically delicious quest to find Harry's broom.

"So, what broom are we looking for, Harry?" Cho asked.

"A Nimbus 2001," Harry replied, finding his voice.

"What happened to your Firebolt?" Cho asked.

"It's in hiding." Harry whispered, looking around to see if anyone heard.

Cho looked utterly confused, but then just decided toleave the subject alone.

Suddenly, Harry spotted Fred and George Weasley appearing out of a fireplace in the middle of the street.  

[Twisted Lemon Sher]

i wish i could write that good...seriously

[Lily_Evans]

Thanks *Blushes*

**

"Yo!" Harry called.

"Yao!" Fred and George both yelled back.

"What're you doing here?" Ron asked.

"Well...." Fred started.

"We were bored. What are you doing here?" George continued.

"We're on a Magically delicious quest to find Harry's broom!" Cho explained.

"What one?" Fred asked.

"My Cleansweep7."

"But you told me-"

"OH!" George exclaimed, cutting Cho off. "Can we join you?"

"Sure!" Hermione said.

So they set off on their Magically delicious quest to find Harry's broom... again.

They decided to look for clues, Fred a 'la Sherlock Holmes, so they went back to the Burrow.

"Where did you lose it, Harry?" George asked.

"I lost it in the shed." Harry explained.

"O... ic!" Fred and George said simulatneously.

"That's a really big word..." Ron stated, looking up at 'simultaneously.'

"Hello, Captain obvious!" Hermione and Cho exclaimed in unison.

"Hello." Ron said, preoccupied. He stared at 'simultaneously' with awe in his eyes.

"Whatever," Hermione said, turning away.

"OH! So now you're going all American Linguistic on us now, aren't you?" Ron protested, finally taking his eyes off of 'simultaneously.'

"Ron! Shuttup!" Fred and George said in unison.

"Ooh! Another really big word..."

Yes, Ron, and no, Ron, you must continue

Ron sighed and grumpily said "Fine." He looked up at the words 'unison' and 'simultaneously' and said, "I'll be back, my love, don't move!"

(A/N: I don't think they will...)

He looked around for the others but only found Ginny standing next to him, giving him a very strange look.

"Hey, where'd everyone go?" Ron questioned.

Ginny giggled and pointed to five little specks on the horizon. "You were too busy with your 'love' to notice that the were continuing their Magically Delicious Quest to find Harry's broom. So they told me to wait.''

"Oh..." Ron said. "YOU GUYS! WaiT UP!!!" Ron bellowed. He sprinted up to them.  
 

[Kiara Johnson]

lol, bump!!

[Lily_Evans]

Ginny followed, and they eventually caught up to them.

"Can-we-t-take-a-brea-break?" Ron asked before slumping down, completely exhausted.

Ginny looked at him very stragnely. "Tired?"

"Y... y... yes..." Ron panted.

"I'm not at all." Ginny retorted.

"Shuttup," Ron said, very tired.

Ron slumped down against a tree and fell asleep.

"Well," Harry said. "That was intriguing."

"Hey," Fred said. "I've just noticed- when did Ron dye his hair?"

Harry remembered at the Malfoy Manor, Ron ate one of Malfoy's candies that turneed his hair a lime green.

Hermione explained through laughs and everybody started laughing.

"It's not funny!" Ron yelled.

"No," Harry said, "it's halarious!"

After laughing and finally they were all done, they continued their magically delicious quest to find Harry's broom.

After a while, Ron asked, "What would happen if pants were illegal?"

Cho smiled. "We'd all be wearing dresses, then, wouldn't we?"

"Mine would be pink," Ron said, not thinking.

"So you DO like pink?" Fred & George asked.

Ron blushed. "No..."

"Whatever," Hermione said. ''Now, are we done with our little dressy, pinkish ordeal?"

Everyone nodded.

"OK!"

"LOOK!'' Fred said suddenly.

"What?" everyone asked.

"Haha, got you!" Fred said. After another long pause, he said, ''LOOK!!!!''

"What?" everyone asked again.

"Hahaha, got you!"

After a while again, Fred said, "LOOK!!!!!!"

Harry replied, "Fred, give it up already!"

"Fine." he replied, "I'll follow these broomstick-twig trail and you lot can go that-a-way." Fred walked off

[AcId_BrOoZ]

'unison' and 'simultaneously'
well actually the can move but...


newayz, this is totaly awesome! ;D

[_Lavender_]

Bumpooo!

[Lily_Evans]

Harry turned and noticed that Fred wasn't lying. Twigs scattered about the grass, but all laying in one direction. Hermine glanced at Harry. "Holy s***ake mushrooms, Harry! Fred wasn't lying!!"

Harry nodded speechlessly.

"Let's follow them!!" Ron said s****dly. Hermione, Ginny, and Cho giggled.

"I'm sorry... I don't eat straw."

They followed the path, after Harry pointed out that Ron tried to eat a plate and napkin at that restaraunt a while back.

"Ron, you're such a fruit!" Hermione said.

"A banana or an apple?" Ron asked sharply.

"Actually, I was thinking more as an... orange?"

"ARE YOU CALLING ME CITRUS?!"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Yes, unless you wanted to be a berry."

"Tempting... but no. I like oranges."

"YOU GUYS, SHUTTUP!!" Cho said. "We have to keep going on our magically delicious quest to find Harry's Broom!!"

"Fine," Ron and Hermione said in unison (A/N: there's that word again... no, DOWN RON! BAD BOY!), faces turned away from one another, noses in the air, arms crossed.

Fred, George, and Harry were walknig up front, following the twigtrail.

"Trail's ended." George said shortly. He lifted his head to look at the huge place in which it had stopped.

A giant, gray-stone, bland building put a stop to the twigtrail. A large, bright light shone right above them, and they had to step back a bit to see what it said.

Voldemort's[/size]
SECRET
Hideout!

[/size]

NO:
Muggles
Goody2shoes
JUST US!!

GET AWAY! before it gets you...

[/size]

"IT'S PINK!!!" Ron screamed, running up and jumping high enough to reach up and hug the bright fluorescent sign.

"Awww," everyone cooed

[Ginny Weasly]

lmao This is halirouse! (i can't spell...) Ron likes pink....? thats too funny!