Kiara's Journal year 5

[Kiara Johnson]

Well, it's been confirmed.  Harry and I went to Dumbledore and he confirmed the fact that we are twins.  I can't believe that I actually found my twin.  I should have guessed a long time agao, when I first learned who my father was but, I guess i never put two and two together.  I think Dumbledore is holding somthing back still though.  I wish I knew what it was.  oh, well.  I'm going to sleep.........

  I had the same dream again. The same one I've been having all year.  It starts with me standing over a dead body.  I think, I killed him.  There is two others tied to posts in the distance.  We are surrounded by Deatheaters.  My father stands behind me laughing.  Normaly, the people are all faceless but not this time..... The two tied to the posts are Max and Ron.  the one lying at my feet is, Harry.

 I woke up and went down to sit next to the fire and fell asleep around dawn some time.  I guess.  The dream really scared me this time.  I can't explain it but, It is as though The images are being shown to me on purpose.  I'll write more later, I need to get ready for breakfast.

[Kiara Johnson]

Sorry it's been so long since I have written but it seems, Draco held true to his word and did indeed use the Crutaious curse on me.  What a Twit!  It's still all kinda foggy but once again, thanks to Max, I came out of it.  No one can seem to tell me everything.  Draco I fear is the only one who truley knows what all transpired.  I guess, we were a real hot item.  I'll write more as soon as I find out what exactly happen while,"I was away"  so to speek.  Oh, and thanks again Max.

[_Lavender_]

smiles. good, job Max, shes shure up and runnin again! whispers to Kiera,*hes certinly yours!*

[Ginny Weasly]

This is wonderful Kiara butiful brillint simply fabulouse!

[Kiara Johnson]

(Thanks)

[Kiara Johnson]

Well, Draco certainly was a whell of information, not.  He refuses to let me in on what it was that transpired.  He just keeps smiling that annoying little snake like smile of his.  That's ok, I'll get it out of him.  Max and I are working on a truth potion.  heehee.  The only thing I know at this point is that I did indeed meet with my father again over the Thanksgiving Holliday.  I don't know what I did though and, that might be a very bad thing.  I woory.  Max of course, tells me not to becouse anything I did under that spell is not my fault.  Isn't he great!  We've gotten a lot closer.  No, I still havn't kissed him....

[Kiara Johnson]

Well, the potion worked.  I didn't like hearing half the things he told us but, I guess somtimes, you have to hear the things that most terrify you.  I learned that I did indeed kill many people for my father.  Some of wich were Ministry officials.  This scares me.  What if, but no, he wouldn't dare to do it again.

    The other things I found out were realy quite emberacing.  I think Max hit him a little harder than he should have.  Draco was out for several hours after that.  No, Draco deserved it.  No, he didn't do anything THAT bad.  Enough though to make me hate him even more.  Lets just say that Draco is lucky I don't actualy like, to kill people.

    Tonight was great!  Max and I whent to that little town I told you about, Hogsmead, again.  We went to the haunted shack.  It's this little shack that is suposed to be haunted but I found out differntly.  I met Sirius Black.  He is Harry's godfather.  I really like him.  He told me the whole story as to how he and Harry first met.  I only wish I could find a way to prove his innocence.  It's just not fair.  Sirius has to live in hiding while that twitchy little worm, Peter, goes free.  Well, as free as one can be with my father as his master.

[Kiara Johnson]

    Well, there's this Halloween dance tonight.  Max and I are going as Ron and Emily.  The two I told you about on the train.  Max had a Pollyjuice potion  so.. It'll be fun.

   It was kinda wierd, being some one else for a bit.  I couldn't look at Max(Ron)  without feeling odd, I meen I hardly know Ron(The real one)  Hard to explain unless you've been there.  No, for thoughs of you wondering, I still havn't gotten THAT, close to Max, although....

    Anyway, Isis, this girl in Slytherin I just recently met, she hooked up with this guy, Zorin, I believe his name is.  He is a Hufflepuff and really quite good looking.  Anyway, I feel I know him, perhaps in a nother life......

[Kiara Johnson]

**********

   WEll, A lot has gone on this year.  Now, it is Christmas break and Dear Lucius has insisted I come home.  Dumbledore can't do anything.  Draco is parading around the school, he's so happy.  I don't want to go...I know what will happen and I'm scared.  I thought about leaving but Dumbledore figured on that one and so has made sure I don't go any were.  Says that I'll be fine and that they'll have me looked after, what ever that means.  I don't think they understand.  I'm not afraid to go back, I'm afraid of what my Father will make me do...Also, i don't want to leave Max alone.  He really upset about it too.  Say's he'll follow to make sure I'm ok...I don't want him to, I don't want him to see me do those terrible things....Draco's coming, I've gotta go..

[.:isis:.]

great story! pleez post more soon! :)

[Kiara Johnson]

     OK, I'm back, Once again, I must apologize for the lengthy space between enties.  Although, I do have some verry interesting news for you all.

    I've got 2 days before I leave hime with Draco.  Tonight was the best ever and I think that, as long as I can hold on to tonight while I'm home...Everything will be ok.  

    Max and I went for a walk along the lake this evening.  We were standing just on the other side talking, about what doesn't even matter anymore.  We kissed, for the first time.  I don't think I could possibly even dream if telling you how wonderfull it was..I could say that my whole body felt as though it would float away, I was lost by the touch of his lips upon mine, his hands moved over my back bringing me closer....Oh it was just the best feeling I have ever experienced.  I hope to write more later.  right now, I just want to lay here in my bed and remember....

[.:isis:.]

pleez continue! :)

[Kiara Johnson]

     Ok, this is the last entry I make to you, for now.  I can not risk taking this journal home with me.  I leave for home tomarrow and I hope, it will end fast.  Draco has become more and more agressive since the last time I told you about him.  He has even gone so far as to curse Max, behind his back of course, today.  Max is stil out.  I hope I can wake him before morning as, I will be gone then.  I think Draco knows I kissed him.  How, I do not know, but have my suspitions.  Wait, I hear some one...  

Well, it's been an hour since I wrote the above words and I was right to quit.  Draco had the nerve to actually come into my room.  What a bloody jerk!  He told me at great length, the things he had planned for us.  (Himself and me, of course)  I really hope that Dumbledore has somthing good up his sleeve.  if he doesn't, I'm lost.  Well, I need to get some sleep, I have a feeling I won't be getting much of it later, or for the whole tme I'm home. Max has stired, maybe...

[.:isis:.]

pleez post more soon! :D

[Kiara Johnson]

     Well, I made through the Hollidays.  Not very easily but I did.  Dumbledore held true to his word and I was indeed watched.  I found out that Snape is an undercover Death Eater.  Imagine my suprise.  I still don't think he trusts me and really, I don't blame him.  Even though, he was there the whole time, I still had no choice but to do as my wonderfull father wished.  Draco is nothing but an annoyance and I think, that perhaps, I might tire of this game soon.  I only just barley keep myself under control now.  I must confess this to some one so it might as well be you.....

    Since my last visit, somthing seems to have awakend in me.  Somthing horrible, it's hard to explain but I shall try......I no longer feel bad about the things I do.  It is almost as though I want to kill more.  I find myself wanting to feel the life slipping away from my victim, to see them suffer, I...I don't want to feel this way but...I do.  I also seem to get angry quicker.  Like today, a first year kept asking me annoying questions and I flung the poor kid across the room and laughed about it....like I said, I don't feel bad for doing it, even now, writing this, I am smiling.  Max seems to calm me.  When he's around, I seem to do fine, there's somthing about him...I can't even begin to explain.  I think I'll have to pay attention and I'll let you know more, later.  Oh, and yes, Max and I are totaly, together.  Despite Draco's continued threats and his continued warrnings, Max has decided to stay with me. Only, I worry, is what Draco says true, will he regret it?  I hope not........  Draco says that I will end up killing him, at least, that's what he told Max, they didn't think I was around to hear the conversation, but I was.  Max said that as long as I have him, nothing bad will happen but Draco keeps telling him that he'll(Max) screw it up, somehow...Somthing about a shadow Prphecy, I don't know what he's talking about and Max is no help.  I think he knows somthing he isn't telling me.  Perhaps, i should leave it alone, maybe I don't want to know....  Well, that's enough for now, I've got to get to Potions, wouldn't want Snape angry with me...