Things had been very...tense lately. Was that the right word? It would do for now. It was like Seth and Alice's relationship had already begun to become tired. But that was just an excuse Seth used. The truth was, their marriage was a mistake, a rush of excitement not clearly thought out. But Seth never registered this. Honestly, he loved Alice. He practically put her up on a pedastool. He saw perfection in her, and not because of her vampire-like qualities.
But things just weren't the same. Seth came home from work. They talked, ate dinner, and went to bed. It seemed like forever since they actually made love. Was this how married life was supposed to be? He assumed so and didn't bother to question it. He never considered the possibility of Alice being unhappy. He just assumed this was how it was supposed to be. Maybe she was just mad because he got upset over the dog arguement. But it wasn't a big deal. He was over it now.
So Seth decided that tonight he would try to make Alice happy. To make their marriage more...exciting? He didn't really know what he was attempting to do. But things had changed and he didn't like it.
Dinner was made. Candles lit. No distractions. Seth wore his best clothes, a button down shirt and pants. His hair was stylishly messy as he sat at the table. Now all he needed was his wife.
Alice peeked around the doorway, the only part of her visable was her face and hair, which hung down around her face in tight curls. Her lips were bright red; for the first time in a very, very long time she was wearing makeup. Not much, but some was more than none.
Slowly she moved out of her hiding spot and made her way to the table where Seth sat. The scent of sweet candled filled the air and she breathed them in. They weren't overwhelming anymore, but she could just barely smell Seth. She stayed in the shadows, coming up behind him. She wore a short black dress that fit her well. It's sleeveless style was sexy, but not overly so. She put a hand on Seth's shoulder and rubbed it gently.
"Hello love," she whispered, her lips close to his ear.
Seth twisted in his seat to the lovely lady who had whispered into his ear.
"Well, look at you. Don't you look dashing." He said with a grin. He stood up and then put his arms around her, going to kiss her, but then he stopped. He sniffed the air and then he stepped back. That smell...was a unique smell. Very unique. And very impossible.
"Alice." He uttered lowely. "Where were you?"
Why was everyone pulling away from her today? Seth earlier in the morning when they fought, then Axel, and now Seth again.
"I went to town earlier and... drank a little bit," she said softly, lowering her eyes. She hoped that was what he was talking about. She prayed that it was the smell of firewhiskey he noticed, and not something else.
"I just...needed to make things go away for a little while," she added, "But lets not talk about that right now. This is supposed to be a nice dinner between the two of us..."
Seth stepped back another step, pressing his lips together as he tried to evaluate his thoughts.
"What I smelled was something similar to my scent, Alice. Why would I smell something like that? It's not mine, but its similar." He didn't even question her about the alcohol. He just wanted to know why Axel's scent ran so strongly through his nostrils when he was dead.
"I...don't know what you're talking about, Seth," she lied. Oh gosh, he knew. He could smeel his cousin on her. Even though it had been hours ago. Even though she had showered and changed.
Seth turned away from her and kicked away the chair.
"I know he's not dead. I saw him two months ago in London." He walked to the window and looked outside at the falling snow. "I'm not stupid. I should have known he'd find you." He clinched his fists. "He may be alive, but not for long." He snarled. Seth turned back to Alice. "What did you do?"
Alice took a step back, eyes wide. She felt the sudden urge to cry; she was ashamed and felt terrible, but she didn't regret seeing Axel.
"You can't hurt him!" She exclaimed, eyes glassy. "You hurt him again and I'll never forgive you. I could deal with you killing him once, I'm not going to let you do it again." She backed up until her back was against the wall and she put her hands behind her back. She didn't answer his last question, hoping he wouldn't notice.
Seth was furious. Everything he had intended for the night, everything he did, was ruined. Ruined within minutes. He figured seeing Axel wasn't a big deal, that things would remain as they were. But things had changed when he wasn't expecting it. No, he would not let the question be bypassed.
"I said...what. did. you. do?"
Alice inhaled sharply, her eyes falling to the floor. Tears finally spilled out over her cheeks, but she didn't know why. She didn't really feel guilty, and she wasn't scared. She was worried. Seth looked so angry. The last time he looked like that he had attacked his own cousin. Alice knew he wouldn't hurt her, and if he did she knew she was more than capable of stopping him. There was a different feeling in her--one she hated with all her heart.
She was ashamed. Ashamed of what she had done and how angry it made her husband. Ashamed that she ruined this night. Ashamed that she ruined this marriage.
"I kissed him," she whispered, not looking at Seth, "Twice."
Seth lowered his gaze. It was easier to look at the floor than at his wife. He shook his head, wanting to believe that it was a lie. But there was no pushing that from his head. He looked to the table, at the scene he tried to put together to make Alice happy, and shoved it all off with a swipe of his hand, cutting his arm as he did so. Then he walked angrily into the bedroom.
He sat down on his side of the bed, facing the large paned window in their room. He watched as the snow fell gently on top of the rest of the snow. He sat there like that, trying to think.
Alice watched Seth as he pushed everything off of the table and left. The sound of breaking glass rang in her ears even after he left. Wet tracks covered her cheeks made her angry. She hadn't cried in over two hundred years, even with everything she had seen and been through. But every time she cried now seemed to be in Seth's precense.
Slwoly she moved towards the pile of broken items and put out the candles that were still lit. Standing there, she couldn't believe this had happened. She left the room without looking back.
Her feet made no sound as she walked to their bedroom. She wasn't trying to be silent, but any accidental noise sounded like a bomb going off in her mind. Finally she came to the room where he sat. After a moment of hesitation at the doorway she slowly walked in. When she was standing right in front of him she stopped and turned to face him.
He looked so sad. So, so sad. And she had made him look like that.
Alice swallowed the lump in her throat and lifted her hands so she could knot her fingers in his hair. She rested her head on his and watched him. He wasn't looking at her yet, and she couldn't decide if that was good or bad.
"I'm sorry. You have absolutely no idea how much." Her voice was barely audible, but she had a feeling he would hear her just fine. The tears felt like they would start again, so she continued before she got that chance to start sobbing. "I want to say that it didn't mean anything, but I can't say that because it would be a lie, and I can't lie to you. I love you. So, so much. Even if you're mad at me, even if I do a million horrible things, I still love you. I can't make that go away." She closed her eyes and released her grip on his hair.
Seth wouldn't look at her. His eyes were on the ground as her fingers wove through his hair. Even as she pressed her head against his, he couldn't bring his eyes to her. But her voice, the shaky sound in it, made his eyes find hers. Again, he had overreacted. But still, he was hurt that she could be tempted even to a kiss when her own husband hardly tempted her right now.
"What did it mean then?" He asked bitterly, referring to the kisses. "What did it mean to you?"
Alice slowly opened her eyes and scanned his face, unsure of why he wanted to know. The last thing she wanted to do was make him angry again, but he deserved the truth. After everything they'd been through, he deserved so much more than that.
"I...I'm not fully sure. I think... it was selfishness. I wanted him to kiss me because I knew what we used to have when....when you were gone. And I think it was because I knew sooner or later he would find Avalee again, and she would claim him again." She stopped talking and clenched her teeth together, lowering her eyes to Seth's hands.
"It was wrong and I know that, but... I don't know. I think it would be best if I never saw him again. You were right not to tell me you saw him."
The words struck him harder than what Alice probably intended them to. He bit hbeiis lip and tasted blood in his mouth.
"We never should have gotten married. It was a stupid idea." He muttered, lowering his head. "I'm young and idiotic. You're...well you've spent hundreds of years being a vampire, forced into something. Why should you be locked into a bond like marriage? Let's face it. It was a poor choice on both our parts."
Now Alice felt like she had been slapped. No, the pain she felt was worse than that. This was worse than any other pain she had ever know. It was worse than being bit two hundred and eleven years ago. It was worse than the pains of going without blood. This was the worst. It felt like Seth had reached into her chest and pulled her heart out of her chest. A physical pain formed and the silently gasped, her mouth gaping open.
"Wh--what?" She breathed, unable to speak louder. She didn't realize that she was shaking all over, even as she raised her hands and put them on Seth's shoulders. She had never felt so weak.
"But...you can't! You, you changed my life, you're...my husband. I love you." Her eyes were glassy, but she was way too shocked to cry. This could not be happening, not to her.
"I kissed Avalee." Seth said suddenly, looking up at Alice. "She was hurt. I was too. It just happened." He picked up her hands and helped her onto the bed next to him so that they were level with each other.
"You are the best thing to happen to me, but I have to wonder, is the feeling mutual? I guess what I'm trying to say is...oh screw it. I'll just get to the point." He leaned forward.
"It's me or him, Alice."
If it seems possible, her eyes got wider.
*He kissed Avalee. He kissed her. Why? Because I made him hurt. And he wants me to choose.*
"I...can't do that Seth. How am I.... how can you say that? You are the best thing that's ever happened to me. It's becausse of you that I'm human. I mean... you're the reason I'm alive."
"I said pick. It's me or Axel. I'm not going to sit here and waste our time. If you're more interested in him, then fine. But tell me now instead of making me hurt more later, okay? Can you do me that much?"
It was extremely selfish of her, but she knew what she had and wanted to do. It would tell her, and be her answer.
"Okay, I can do that. But...there's something I need you to do for me. You might hate me for it, but I need it to happen." She put her colds hands on either side of his face and looked into his deep eyes.
*I'm going to hate myself for this.*
"I need you to take all of your anger and your hatred towards me, and I want you to kiss me," she whispered, dead serious.
There was no second thought about it. Seth pulled her into him and kissed her with everything he had. Anger, hurt, everything. But he had no hatred towards her whatsoever. He could never hate her. After all, she didn't hate him after Axel supposedly died. How could he hate her now?
The kiss was great. It felt so...wonderful to kiss him like that again, after the last week or so. The passion it held was unreal. But there was something off about it.
When the kiss ended Alice pulled back slightly and opened her eyes. Suddenly she didn't want him to look her in the eye. She didn't want him to see. He would do anything for her, but she couldn't do this to him. She moved off of the bed before he could react and moved to the window. She pressed her hand against the glass, and for a moment she couldn't tell the difference between glass and skin.
"Holy $h!t," she whispered.
Seth just shook his head as Alice pressed herself against the glass. So that was that.
"I see." He said quietly. He looked at her sadly, painfully, and found that he couldn't bring himself to look at her. Was this really happening? Really, truely? Was it possibly a nightmare? No. It wasn't. This was full on reality.
"I'm sorry," she said softly, crying now. "I'm so, so sorry. I never meant for this to happen. I thought...I thought that we would always be happy together. I, I never wanted to hurt you."
Seth held up his hand to stop her. He didn't want to hear her cry. That tore him apart.
"We can arrange for paperwork this week. See what we can do." He said. "Well, at least my parent's will be happy, knowing they were right."
Alice shook her head to herself. She seemed to be doing that a lot today.
"Yeah, they never liked me much," she spit. "At least they'll know I won't kill you."
Seth lay back on the bed, sprawled out and staring at the ceiling. He turned toward her and watched her, making himself no matter how hard it was.
"Kiss me." He said. "Like I kissed you. Take every emotion you have in you." He wanted at least a final kiss to remember her by.
She slowly turned to face him, sillouetted by the bright moonlight outside. She could read his mind--something she usually didn't do--but his thoughts were practically yelling at him. He wanted one last kiss.
After standing there for a moment she crawled on the bed beside him, then leaned over his body. Gently she stroked the sides of his face with her cold hands. Then she leaned forward and gently brushed his lips, barely touching.
"I will always love you, you know," she breathed into his mouth, then kissed him with everything she had.