Zack watched her for a long pause. Finally, he ran hand through his dark hair, shaking his head.
"Because it's my job," he said solidly. "Because I have to. Because if I did not sacrifice things I really wanted, people and creatures that do not deserve it, will fall. You know. I know you both do. You've seen the effects and devastation battle and hell like it can cause. And if I can keep that from spilling over at much as my ability will let me, if I can lead others into a safer route better than any other command in certain areas, then I can sleep at night. Never peacefully, but I've learned to take what I can get. That's why I keep disappearing, over and over."
His eyes weren't laughing, they weren't cold, they were just empty.
"I care about my friends more then you, and they, will ever know. I know I've always been horrible at showing it. I'm a jerk. I don't blame you if you give up and forget me, and I don't blame those that already have. I deserve it. But don't say, that I don't care."
He sighed,
"Because it's my job," he said solidly. "Because I have to. Because if I did not sacrifice things I really wanted, people and creatures that do not deserve it, will fall. You know. I know you both do. You've seen the effects and devastation battle and hell like it can cause. And if I can keep that from spilling over at much as my ability will let me, if I can lead others into a safer route better than any other command in certain areas, then I can sleep at night. Never peacefully, but I've learned to take what I can get. That's why I keep disappearing, over and over."
His eyes weren't laughing, they weren't cold, they were just empty.
"I care about my friends more then you, and they, will ever know. I know I've always been horrible at showing it. I'm a jerk. I don't blame you if you give up and forget me, and I don't blame those that already have. I deserve it. But don't say, that I don't care."
He sighed,