((AXEL.))
For winter, it was pretty dang nice outside. The sun was shining, a thick layer of snow covered everything except for the walking paths. Christmas was coming, and everyone seemed to be in a good mood. Things looked perfect, like it had all been planned. What hadn't been planned was the fight Alice had with Seth. It had been something stupid and trivial, but fury had poured through Alice like fire.
Seth had wanted a dog. Any pet, really, but a pet. Since that was kind of a mutual thing to agree on gettin, he had asked her what she thought. Alice had blatantly told him no, without a real reason. It was because she was scared. Thirst still came to her, and sometimes she wondered if she was still a vampire. She longed for the taste of blood, but didn't need it like she used to. Maybe it was because of the two centuries she had spent seeking it, or maybe she was addicted to it. Whatever the reason, she couldn't put up with the temptation of having a pet. It would be too easy to attack. Not that she would do it on purpose, but she wasn't perfect. Seth hadn't recieved an answer to why she didn't want a pet. Alice hadn't told him about all of her vampire-like syptoms. Some of them like her cold skin and color-changing eyes were hard to hide, and he noticed those. She had managed to keep the rest away from him though.
This was unfortunately something she couldn't tell him. She would be too ashamed. It was like she was too weak to remain human for him, and she didn't want to feel like she did when she was a vampire. The lonelyness she endured was extraordinary, and she never wanted to go through that again.
So here she was, in the Hogsmead, just walking around. She looked kept and neat in her dusky grey pea coat and--wait for it--red skinny jeans. Her long, thick black hair was loose around her shoulders, framing her pale white face as it always did. She had gone into one of the bars and bought a bottle of firewhiskey. Sipping on that she meandered down the streets.
Without wanting to, Alice realized that she was lonely. The fight had left her exhausted, but she couldn't return to Seth right now, especially not with the smell of alcohol on her. Being ashamed was one of the things Alice just coudln't handle, and Seth's unending understanding just made it worse sometimes. Turning a corner a figure caught her eye and she very nearly dropped her bottle. Leaning up against whatever building she was near, so shook her head and looked again. The person moved, and she had to jump forward to see where they went. Black hair fell into her face and she hurridly push it aside. The person was still moving. It looked like him. But it couldn't be. He was gone. Dead. Dead a long time now. Long enough for her to marry Seth. And besides the dead didn't--wait, that wasn't true. The dead could come back. She herself was proof of that.
Nonetheless, she had to see if it was him. It couldn't be but she had to be sure.
She pushed ahead, not caring about the people in her way. The red hair was getting farther away, but ever so slowly she was catching up. It was like chasing a d@mned rabbit. They stopped, and Alice did too. There was no on between them now, just empty space.
"Axel?"
He told himself he wouldn't come back. That he would never step back onto these grounds after that night. They would only bring the memories back in a stronger form, and he didn't know if he would be able to handle it. The nightmares had only recently started to retreat. But on some nights, they would wake him in a cold sweat, panting and heart racing.
Axel had finally stopped in front of the very building where he supposedly died. It was a dramatic night. The rivalry with his brother-like cousin, the hatred, had caused them to fight. And it was stupid. He finally understood that now. Everything they ever fought about, was stupid. He ran his hand along the cold brick that built the walls, memories bursting in his mind.
When Avalee, Alice, and Seth left overcome by everything, Axel's body had lingered on the floor, bloodied and a mess. A healer, who had stayed away from the fight by hiding in the back of the room had made his way over and hovered over the young man, hands pressed firmly on his chest. There was a green aura of light around the man's hands and then a cough came from Axel. He was alive again. If the healer had waited any longer, Axel probably would have been dead.
So the healer wrapped his cloak around Axel, to stop the bleeding, and then arranged for him to be taken to St. Mungo's. But Axel had other plans.
Axel sighed. He decided it would be better to remain "dead" so to speak. To live without them knowing he was alive. It was better that way. He only caused more problems.
He found his reflection in the window, and saw that rather than the people in the bar. He looked mostly the same. Only his hair wasn't as long and he had a scar across the bridge of his nose. A little stubble on his chin. He wore a simple brown t-shirt and jeans with a long black coat over top, hands in the pockets, white fedora hat on his head.
But his attention was pulled away from the mirror like window when he heard his name. It had been so long, he didn't even recognize the voice. He turned and his eyes widened. Alice. Of all people. He didn't say anything though. He just looked at her.
Her feet felt like they were part of the ground. She froze, and her body refused to move. Her brilliant eyes widened with shock, but other than that the only part of her in motion was her wind-blown hair.
*No. Nonononononono. He's dead. He's not really here, it's not him. It's a ghost. It can't be him, it's not him, he's dead.* Those thoughts ran through her mind over and over again, forcing herself to believe them.
But she couldn't believe them. He was here, in front of her. She knew that it was him, he was here, and he was alive. Human and alive. She saw it in his mind.
"Oh my God," she whispered, finally able to move. Conflicting emotions ran through her--pain, joy, sorrow, love, anger, wonder. She didn't know what to feel. With eyes still wide she slowly stepped towards him, her feet making no sound on the cold, hard ground. She moved right in front of him and looked up into his eyes. Those eyes had seen so much pain, and yet that had looked at her with love. Gingerly, without realizing that she did so, she lifted a hand and stroked his cheek, her eyes never leaving his.
Axel flinched, pushing his body back against the wall to avoid her touch. This wasn't happening. Why was it happening? She didn't need to know that he was alive. Nobody did. He planned on going about his existance silently, avoiding people. He should have known that coming back would mean taking a chance on seeing familiar faces.
Axel still didn't say anything. He let his eyes remain staring into hers, because a part of him had wanted her to know it was him, deep down. But he lowered his gaze to the ground, closing his eyes.
Alice fliched when he did, not expecting the quick movement. For a moment her hand hung in the air, then it dropped to her side. Her unreal, crystal-like eyes were still staring at him, unblinking like no human could ever manage. In that moment she forgot about her humanity, forgot about her own blood that ran through her veins. No, in that space of time she might as well have been a vampire, and she was with Axel right after Seth left.
All of her powers felt like they returned, but she barely noticed that. If anyone touched her they would find that her skin was as ice cold as it used to be. She could feel her lungs relax, as if she were only breathing because it felt right. The thick, sharp scent of winter filled her nostrils and screamed cold in her mind. At the same time she was experiencing Axel's thoughts on top of her own. She could see everything now, literally and not.
"I missed you," she whispered, knowing that he could hear her. "So much. And I know it's you. You can't trick me." She looked at him through her black bangs, wishing he would speak.
"Don't do this." Axel said. "You can pretend like you never saw me and everything can be normal like it was. Don't get involved." He warned through his teeth. He sighed and looked up. Alice's eyes were still on him, not blinking even once. And they were still as vibrant as ever. He knew she wasn't going to leave. She was too stubborn to do that.
"How is Avalee?" He asked her softly.
Shock ran through Alice. Her mouth opened slightly and she took a small step back. There was a pain in her eyes, and for a moment she wondered if she was going to cry.
*Guess you're human after all.*
She didn't really understand why she felt so, well, betrayed. Axel was alive and he was here. She realized just how much she had missed him. After Seth came back she just dropped Axel, and that had been wrong. He had moved on easy enough with Avalee, and after he supposedly died Alice and Seth got married, and everything was fine again. Now Avalee was with some teacher, aparantly having forgotten Axel. But Alice never forgot him, not really. She might have pushed thoughts of him away, but he was still there. Now that he was here in front of her, she wanted to touch him, make sure he was real. He had verbally slapped her in the face.
"Fine." Alice said, her tone instantly sharper. "Found a new friend that got her to stop drinking. She seems to like him quite a bit." She narrowed her eyes and clenched her teeth together. She was too proud to cry in front of him, especially if he wanted to play verbal games or whatever it was he was doing.
So she's moved on.
"Good." He said a little stiffly. No, it wasn't good. At least...not to him. But it was good for her. Maybe this person could give her a better life. After all, what did Axel have to offer her? He was no good. He had nothing. What did she ever see in him anyway?
His eyes found the sparkly ring on Alice's hand.
"You're married. How is that going?" He asked. He felt a slight twinge of jealousy and shook it off. Why would he be jealous of that?
Alice lifted her left hand, looking at the shimmery ring on her finger. How was being married?
"Good enough, obviously," she said stifly, raising the bottle of firewhiskey to her lips and taking a long pull from the bottle. He could see the little prick in his eyes, the one that screamed jealousy. She idly wondered if that twinge was in her own face.
Without know what else to do she crossed her arms, but remained standing where she was. Axel knew she wasn't going to be leaving any time soon, and it would be really stupid for him to run, especially with her standing in front of him, basically blocking the smarter path. She looked away from him now and blinked the wetness from her eyes. Why was he being so rude? He was alive, and she wanted to... to touch him, to hold him.
Alice clenched her teeth, still not looking at him. One thought stood out more than any other in her mind, and it was one she couldn't push away.
*I love him, and he obviously doesn't love me.*
He watched sadly as she brought the bottle to her lips. Axel had been drinking more frequently these days, but he didn't want others to be doing the same. He lifted his hand and carefully pushed the bottle away from her lips.
"Please," he begged softly. "don't."
He knew what she wanted, but he couldn't bring himself to say it. He couldn't bring himself to apologize for what had happened. He slowly pulled his arm back and regretted coming back here.
Alice gave him a sharp look and drank from the bottle anyway. The thoughts and images were so clear. Way too clear. The alcohol would make them go away, like it always did. As she drank her mind sort of twitched, and a rush of thoughts were pulled into her own.
"You think I want you to apologize?!" She exclaimed, nearly choking on the whiskey. "What for? What have you done wrong?" Her voice was too loud. She clapped her free hand over her mouth and looked around. Her body just couldn't decide between human and vampire, could it? Did he even know about her change?
Axel was shocked that she heard his thoughts and began to speak so loudly.
"I should have found you and told you I was alive instead of...well, thinking I were dead. That wasn't right." But maybe he was getting too ahead of himself. Maybe she didn't even miss him. She had Seth, so why would she? And Avalee had found someone. He should have run when he had the chance.
"No," she sighed, running her fingers through her hair and starting to pace.
"The fact that you're alive, well, it's unreal, okay? I was still a full vampire when the fig--when you got hurt, and I could have sworn you were dead. Vampire don't make mistakes when it comes to dead things. I guess I must have because here you are, and you seem healthy enough to me. I feel like I've gone crazy and went and died or something. Seems plausible enough. After all, I'm standing in the middle of the road with you, some alcohol, and anger issues. Ha! Yes, I must have gone crazy." Her words strung together, and she said them all without taking a breath. Right now the need to breath wasn't too urgent.
"Um...what?"
Alice turned back to face Axel, her eyes black. Slowly her body relaxed, and her face softened. She wasn't mad at Axel. Heck, she had never been mad at Axel.
"I'm sorry. Just.... a lot has happened since you...left." She sniffled and turned away. Warmth covered her cheeks, and for the first time in a long time she found out that she was crying.
((Ok, so can I jump in here or...shall I make my own thread?))
((Go for it.))
Axel's expression softed and he stepped closer, putting a hand on her shoulder.
"Hey...I know. I know." He said softly. "And a lot has changed." He used his thumb to wipe away her stray tears.
So she can cry now. A lot really has changed.
Alice looked up at Axel, her irises ever so lighter.
"But you don't understand. I'm human."
"How is that even possible?"
The news wasn't bad news, but it was shocking, surprising. It was just weird. He was so used to the vampire girl he had met. She's human now? Her eyes did change from just a moment ago too. He stepped back, looking her over. Nothing was really different on the outside.
Alice shrugged lightly, not wanting to disturb his hand on her shoulder. For some reason, that was comforting to her. It felt like a lifeline through all these weird feelings she had.
"I don't know. I'm not... fully human. I still...switch back sometimes, or get some of my powers. That's why I'm drinking, to make the thoughts go away."
She couldn't feel it, but her eyes had lightened up again.
((Oh, and sure, Aves!))
"Well...that's odd. But listen, take it from me. The drinking only numbs things. It doesn't actually make them go away. I've been drinking for years and things still haunt me." He let his hand fall to his side and leaned against the building.
"I missed you." He said, looking up at the clouds.
She couldn't help but clench her teeth as he dropped his hand. A feeling of being stranded overpowered her, and she took another drink before speaking, not caring about his first words. Then her eyes shot to his as he looked up, mouth gaping open.
*He missed me. Oh... my.*
"I.... missed you too. A lot, actually," she said softly.
He slid down, so that he sat down on the sidewalk, arm hangin over a pulled up knee. Axel was still staring at the clouds though.
"It's been lonely, all this time. I've had nobody. Literally, I've spent my time in the woods avoiding people. But something brought me here today. I actually am kind of glad you found me."
Alice looked down at him, glad he wasn't looking at her. She didn't know what emotion was showing in her eyes, and she didn' want to know.
"I'm glad I found you, too. I really did miss you. I blamed myself for what happened; I still do." She sat down beside him and fiddled with the label on her bottle. She didn't know why she was telling him all this, but at least it was true.
"It was my fault. I was so immature and full of hatred. I've changed since then. I've put my emotions in another part of me. I've locked them away for now. I made a lot of mistakes I can't fix." When he said this, he looked at her. She was one of them.
"Don't blame yourself, alright? It was me and only me."
She turned her whole body to face his, not afraid to look at him now. This was most definately not his fault.
"Axel, don't tell yourself that. You had every right to be angry, okay? And you have to let your feelings out. If you don't, things just get messed up, okay? I would know." Her gaze dropped to her lap now, and she started fiddling with her fingers.
Axel shook his head, biting his lip.
"I shouldn't have let anger run me. It took over. Since my parents died, anger ruled over me and thought for me. It made my decisions. It messed a lot of things up for me." He shrugged and stared at the sky again. After a moment, he spoke.
"Do you remember when we kissed, Alice?"
Alice stopped playing with her fingers but didn't look up. That was sort of a dumb question on his part--of course she remembered--but she understood why he did.
"Of course," she breathed.
Axel closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
"Remind me." He exhaled.
She didn't hesitate an instant. She wasn't surpised. She knew it was coming, and she wanted it too.
She moved so she was on her knees and gently took his hot face in her ice cold hands, turning it so her faced her. Then she kissed him.
And Axel kissed her back, like he hadn't kissed her in years. It was probably the most passionate kiss he had ever had. But then he remembered. He pulled back quickly.
"You're married." He breathed.
"Oh..." she said dumbly. Her lips tingled with the kiss, and Seth was not something she wanted to talk about right now.
Slowly Alice pushed away from Axel and pulled her knees up to her chest. She was married, and she just kissed her husband's cousin. And she didn't really care.
"I know, but... God, he's just so understanding!" She practically growled, hiding her face in her arms.
"Why did you marry him then? You knew that when you dated." Axel said, still staring at her. He pushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
"Because I love him," she answered softly, "I love him a lot, but it's my vampire side that loves him. I'm not a vampire anymore. Not really."
Tears ran down Avalee's face. Silent tears, as she stared, her mouth open. She was in shock. The icy air? She couldn't feel it. The snow that seeped into her boots and threw her socks? That didn't even register. That was a body she knew. That was a soul she knew. Sheknew him. The one she loved. The one who was dead. The one who had caused so much happiness, and then unspeakable grief. She wore his ring around his neck. She leagally owned his parent's house. She had his wand on her nightstand. Avalee had kept all of his old school pictures. She had visited his grave and put flowers there.
This must have been some dream. Most times she dreamed of him it was his last few seconds of life. This was a heavenly change. This was a heavenly dream. She couldn't even get her legs to work in enough time to chase after him. Tears wouldn't stop.
And then, so quickly it faded to a nightmare. Alice. The one who practically caused Axel's death, was there. And now they simply talked. But not for long. Avalee's world and mind came apart at the seems. She truly couldn't move. They kissed. The kissed!
She stood from afar dumbfounded.
This was reality.
Axel was there.
And Avalee didn't know what to do.
A small and short whimper came from her lips as she realized all of these things.
"He's a good guy." Axel said. "I've always envied him. He had everything he could ever want. His parents, toys, anything. But...he also had love. It wasn't until I came here that I experienced it. I mean, sure, when I was younger and my parents were around, they loved me a lot. But its been years. And...of course they still love me, but...oh, right, Seth. But yeah, I guess...everything over the years just built up and made me into this monster. I hate what I am, what I was." Axel breathed out after his little ramble.
He lifted the hat off of his head and set it on his lap, then looked at Alice.
"I love you Alice, but...there's someone I love more. Someone that makes my heart beat a little differently." He paused, thinking of the right words to say. "Don't tell her that I'm alive. I want her to be happy. She's found somebody, right? Well, she deserves someone who can give her the world."
There it was again, her verbally slapped her. Her hands tightened into fists, and she was glad her face was hidden in her arms. Tears didn't form, but her eyes stung. She felt a coldness seep through her that had nothing to do with the chilly weather. She could feel her body hardening, turning into something unhuman.
"Fine," She said in a soft voice, half hoping he couldn't hear her. You would have thought her voice would be cold and sharp, but it wasn't. She just sounded defeated. "I won't tell her. I don't even see her anymore, let alone talk to her." Slowly Alice lifted her head and looked at Axel.
"But I want you to tell me something: If you know what I've been through, and you know that I love you, and you know that you love her more than you love me, why did you ask me to kiss you?"
"I needed to know more how you felt." Axel said shortly. Truth was, he actually didn't know what he wanted. He said that because she had a husband back home and didn't want her marriage to fall apart because he was here. He really wished he had run when he had the chance. "This is so hard."
Alice paused, and again her body relaxed. This whole vampire to human and back again thing was really starting to annoy her.
"About what, Seth?" She whispered, scrunching her eyebrows together in her confusion. "I love him, I do, but... I don't know how much longer I can--I don't know if there's someo... I just don't know, okay? He's so sweet, I don't want to hurt him." Why would she hurt him? It was obvious Axel didn't want her anymore.
"Do you regret choosing him?" Axel questioned quietly, his eyes still on hers. He shook his head. "The real question is, are you happy, Alice? Are you happy where you are?" He sighed and looked away.
Alice sat up now, her gaze lowered to the ground as she thought about her answer.
"I... am happy that I'm with him. He's so sweet, and he would do anything for me. But... sometimes I feel like he's... holding me back or something. Like, he's so calm and understanding. It's like he thinks I never do anything wrong, like he worships me or something." She closed her eyes and shook her head. Slowly she inhaled, and Axel's scent filled her. It was sharp; not like the winter air, but different, like wolf.
"Sometimes I feel like I could be happier with someone more adventerous." She barely breathed these last words, and with the soft wind blowing she wondered if he would hear her.
Someone more adventerous. She had said that without really thinking about it, and the more she did, the more she realized it was true. She needed to be moving constantly, to keep her new blood pumping. Seth couldn't necessarily do that for her, but Axel could.
Realizing this her eyes widened. She turned her whole body towards him, on her knees again.
"Someone like you."
Alice brushed his hair back from his eye. Those bright, beautiful eyes. They looked so sad, and she wanted to make that sad look go away. So she kissed him.
"No!" Avalee said this in a loud tone. Her voice cracking the tiniest bit. Her joints, which had been locked up for minutes now, snapped back to reality. She snapped back awake. Her legs started moving. Avalee started running. Seeing Alice kiss Axel like that was too much. She snapped. The white snow was crushed under her black boots. People were staring as she ran.
All emotions came flooding back. All memories. In that moment she felt like she was back in that bar. She was still covered in blood. She was running from the pub. She was drinking herself into a blackout trying to forget.
Her heart pounded so loud in her chest. Anxiety rose up in a huge wave. This was it.
"Axel?" Asked in a broken tone as she stopped. Several feet away from the man she still loved.
Axel's eyes closed as he felt those lips, light as a feather, on his, parted so they fit with his own. And he wasn't pulling away this time. His hands found her, fingers tracing pathways through her beautiful black hair, the other around her, pressing her frame closer to him. It was wrong, but...it felt right. It was attention he had longed for for such a long time. But something, a voice yelling, caught his attention, the sound of hurried footsteps causing him to release his grip and look away.
And Axel nearly felt the oxygen from his lungs leave his body.
"Avalee." He breathed.
Words could not express what she felt. How long had he been alive. She saw his breath hover midair in the cold. She saw his chest rise and fall. There was colour in his cheeks. His lips were very red, for he had just been kissing. His hair was as bright as ever. He looked healthy even...not like he had the last time her eyes were on him. A the echo of a smile was on her face.
The tickle in her throat and the tears, running slowly down her face made it impossible to speak.
She nodded. Her eyes sad, but hopeful.
*No. Nonononononononono. This can't be happening. Not today. Not now.*
Alice lifted her hand to her lips, which felt hot compared to the cold around her. Her human heart pounded in her chest, forcing her blood to pump heavily. Clouds of breath puffed out of her mouth. Those ice blue eyes stared at Avalee, a look of pure astonishment on her face. This could not be happening.
Quickly, before either of them could move, Alice stood up and put herself between Axel and the girl. Her long black hair fell into her face and her gaze turned into a glare. This--this human girl always got in her way.
"He doesn't want to see you right now. Can't you see that?" She spoke softly, only loud enough to Avalee to hear her. She just got Axel back and she was not going to share him. She didn't know if her words were true or not, but she had some experience with lying.
Avalee was infuriated, instantly. How dare Alice. How DARE she. Avalee was the one who wore Axels ring around her neck, every single day. She owned his house, amd every week she went to his grave to put fresh flowers. Who had Axel asked for in his last breaths? Who held him as the spark of life left him? It wasn't Alice. Avalee would argue that if Alice and Seth had treated Axel with one ounce of the respect that he deserved, Axel would never had passed. She was married! It was their fault. That b!tch. Axel was Avalee's. And Avalee was Axel's. Anger flared through her like a flame, but soon burned out, into embarassment.
She looked at the situation she was in. Axel had been kissing Alice a few moments ago. Not Avalee. For all Avalee knew, Axel had been alive the whole time, and was in love with Alice. They could even be living together for all Avalee knew. A few more tears rolled off her chin and into the snow. With her face still in shock, and her fists balled up, she turned around and begun walking away. Away from the one she loved.
She prayed this was just a horrible nightmare.
Axel could only stare as Alice stood between them, uttering words to her that he could not decipher. Now Avalee was walking away, as quickly as she had come. She had seen him. She knew without a doubt that it was him sitting here and not some other red-head. He lept to his feet, rushing past Alice and stepping in front of Avalee. He grabbed her by the shoulders so she would stop and he could get a look at her.
"It's me." He said quietly.
Avalee took quick breaths in and out, as he grabbed here, suspecting him to hit her or something. But his tone was soft. It was a tone she remembered. A tone she loved. The sweet sound of her lovers voice. Memories came back quickly. Up until about a month ago Avalee couldn't picture Axel not covered in blood. Now she could. She definitely could now.
She put one cold hand on his cheek. His flesh was warm. And this snapped her back to life. She suddered with another wave of tears, and collapsed into his chest. He smelled like he always did. He smelled like all of his belongings did.
"Axel!" She said. It was him. Somehow the man she loved was back from the dead.
Axel nodded and then he eased his grip before she had collapsed into him. His arms curled around her back as he felt the warmth of her body against him. He sighed sadly as tears fell from her cheeks. He could feel them through his shirt. He had been gone such a long time. Did she really still feel this way about him? Did she really still care?
"Yeah." He whispered.
((I'll let Stacey go now...))
Alice watched with eyes wide, and she felt a small part of her heart break again. Now she knew what it was like. She had broken Axel's heart, and now she felt the same. His pain had to have been so much worse, though. How could he even stand to look at her? How could anyone manage anything after they felt like this?
"I'm so sorry," she whispered, taking a step back. She didn't know if he heard her or not, and she wasn't sure if she cared.
Avalee looked up at her. She saw the hurt in her eyes. Somehow all three of them were heartbroken at the same time. She wanted to say something to Alice...she couldn't find the words.
"Alice..." She whispered.
Alice shook her head, refusing to cry this time. She wasn't going to stay here and let this girl pity her.
"I'm sorry," she said, looking at Axel, "I shouldn't have kissed you. Not since she was coming." She sneered at Avalee, suddenly filled with hatred.
Axel released Avalee and looked at the two girls.
"It's...it's okay. It'll be okay." He had no idea what to say. He didn't even know what to do.
"No, actually it's not..." Avalee turned around and walked away. She needed some time to think. The snow crunched beneath her feet. She knew just what to do. She would go back to her home and change into dry clothes, and then head to the herbology shack to think.
((And we all know what happened next....))