Ginny's mouth was dry, her palms were sweaty, and she felt jittery. Every single instinct was screaming at her to leave, now. Everything she had ever learned about survival said to turn around and leave.
Right now.
By sheer force of will, she settled into a booth by herself, ordering a cup of tea and looking round the room. Subconsciously looking for all the exits, all the ways out. And an excuse.
Some reason to leave.
Stop it, she told herself.
Stop being a baby. A wuss. A scardy cat.
Thats right, Ginny was scared.
No.
She was terrified. Her hands shook as she lifted her cup to her mouth, almost spilling the hot liquid on herself. Her eyes darted around the pub, glancing at everything. Fast. Too fast.
Ginny felt sick. Maybe she should have told someone?
Who?
The only one she should have told was Xaver.
And if he knew of whom she was looking for, he'd have never let her out of his sight.
The pretty redhead bit her lip as she thought of her husband. Something was different about him lately. He wasn't exactly sick...more like, not right. She worried about him. Because she had no clue what was happening to him.
Which was why she was here, in all her pregnant and vulnerable glory.
To speak to the one person who may be able to help her find out what was wrong with her husband.
His brother.
A low, off-key whistle sounded in the quiet undercurrent of commotion in the small tavern, moments before a dark-haired figure padded across the solid flooring. He did not walk through the doors, the enormities of black feathered, red-tinged wings folded easily over his back far too large to fit through a normal sized door for a man. He simply appeared. No stirr of magic or breath of disturbance to promote his arrival.
Feathers barely twitched as he stole across precious ground, lean muscle twitching both anxiously, and in anticipation, beneath the jacket of an odd leathery, silky material, that was literally two pieces that zipped at the front, but was only zipped half-way over a pale, naked, well-defined chest, the back part entwined by laces at his lower back - not hindering any mannerism of flight, in any way.
He was a handsome man - tall, fit, and blessed with looks even other angels envied. He had been said to be as good looking as his twin brother, at one point - but the blessings, the humor, the life.. they were lost upon the raven-haired male. Lost in silver eyes that were more hazy than clear, and laced with the line of sanity that he tiptoed on.
He breathed in deeply, nostrils flaring as he drug in a scent that was all too familiar.
He bowed down, stopping, his face only but a few inches from the redhead's cheek as he sucked in another breath.
"You've the scent of my brother all over you, Human."
Xences grinned, wickedly, his lips stretching as he bared even rows of teeth that were, though healthy, far sharper looking than they should have been.
"Has he been all over you?"
He gave a hoarse, uneven giggle.
When he spoke, so close to her, her hand jerked, causing the cup to spill onto the table. Ginny forced herself to stop shaking and set the cup down, turning her head ever so slightly so she could see the face that mirrored her husbands, and yet was so different.
The eyes, mostly the eyes.
Not the color, but what was reflected in them.
When Xaver looked at her, she saw life, warmth, honestly and love.
When Xences looked at her, all she saw was animal instinct.
And her own instinct was still screaming to run away.
"What do you think? We are married."
Ginny looked away from him, busying herself with mopping up the spilled tea.
"Have a seat, Xences."
Her voice was crisp with the effort of keeping the terror from it. But she thought she did an ok job at it.
What was she doing here? Her heartbeat was racing wildly. Why had she come here? She should have stayed home. This was so dangerous. Xences...for Christ's sake...he had said he'd kill her someday.
Was she so stupid as to walk right to the slaughter like a sheep?
"I'd like to speak to you."
Ginny spilled her drink as she retracted in surprise at his sudden appearance, and Xences didn't withold an almost gleeful, entirely mocking laugh.
His wings twitched slightly as he shook his head, his gaze probing - searching.
Flickering over her, until his empty gaze settled on the swell of her belly.
"An event I was not invited to."
He giggled airily, and moved across the table, settling into a chair, wings and all, his gaze not once moving from her stomach.
"As with a few other tinsy winsy precedented events."
Xences's gaze slithered up the length of her front, and when finally settling on her eyes, all forms of false amusement faded into the nothing that had become both his heart and soul.
"We speak. What price?"
Honestly, did he expect an invitation? Ginny frowned at that. She and Xaver had laughed at the very thought of inviting Xences. It had been laughable, then.
Because Xaver had been with her.
She felt so very vulnerable.
Especially when she realized Xences was looking at her stomach.
Her hand went over the enlarged part of her body, as though she could protect the baby inside simply by doing so.
Her entire manner changed for the moments Xences looked at her stomach. She seemed almost like a cat, eyes narrowed, ready to hiss to get him away. And then he met her eyes, and she found her fear again.
"What price?" She repeated.
He meant what would she give him?
Everything had a price. She hated that.
"What do you want?"
She winced, that was probably the worst question she could have asked.
Where in the world did all her negotiating skill go?
Oh yeah, that kind of thing only worked with sane people.
"Nothing big.."
Xences tilted his head slightly, mocking innocence with a grin that could bring a shudder to the devil.
"I want, for payment, but only one small thing."
He leaned over the table, jacket covered forearms pressing against the rounded edge, and his large and variously scarred pale hands folding. He upturned his laced hands, creating a crude bowl shape.
His silver gaze gleamed, unblinking.
"Xaver Aleksander's necklace. The match to Kylie Marienne's. I want it, in its entirity."
His eyes darkened, hardening as his jaw flexed, almost impulsively.
"Or you get nothing."
Xaver's necklace?
The one he had given her to wear years ago? Well, actually, Kylie had given it to her the first time. And then Xaver had given it to her.
The necklace that expressed his feelings?
"Do you think if you see his feelings, you may have some of your own?"
Ginny couldn't help but jibe at him.
She did fear him, yes. But she also hated him. And Ginny was known for her big mouth.
Ginny thought about what he wanted. What would be the harm in giving the necklace to him? Xaver couldn't wear it, it was made of gold. And she kept it locked away in her room.
Plus, in giving up something so trivial, she could possibly be gaining what she needed to know to help her husband.
"Fine."
The necklace materialized in her small hand, wound around her fingers and glinting in the dim light of the pub. She showed it to him, then pulled her hand back, onto her lap.
"But you don't get it till you tell me what I want."
Xences's silver gaze narrowed as she retracted her hand, the glittering gold piece returning out of sight as she drew it back to the safety of her lap. Or out of sight upon her lap, anyway..
All he had to do was pounce, right then.. Tear that pretty red hair from her head and-
"Fine."
He flicked his tongue over his upper lip in a sharp, agitated manner.
"..And, pretty.."
His nostrils flared as he sucked in another breath, shaking his head as he let it out, his lip curling slightly.
"Feelings are only for the weak. Your husband should know that, after all the time, ours."
His glare bored directly into her eyes.
"Seeing his feelings when he's caged, hopeless, and basic..? Mmm.. So much better than seeing the emotions on his pretty face."
His gaze glittered, wickedly.
"We birdies don't respond well to cages."
Xences giggled - a wretched, hungry sound.
"What do you wish of me, Human? What can I.."
His sneer all dark malice and intent, Xences folded his arms over his chest, and leaned back into his chair.
"..Assist you, with?"
Ginny realized she had to choose. If she didn't give Xences the necklace, there was a large possibility he would still go after Xaver. And the way things were looking now, Xaver wouldn't be up for a fight if it came down to it then.
But, if she could figure out what was going wrong and fix it, Xaver had a chance against his twin brother.
"First of all, my name is Ginny. And I do appreciate being called by it."
'Human' sounded too derogatory when he said it. Ginny forced herself to keep calm, and snapping at him like so helped. She played with the necklace in her lap while she forced herself to keep his gaze.
"As for what I want, it's even more simple than what you want."
Self-consciously, she tucked a strand of her red hair behind her ear, "I only want to know why my husband seems...off lately."
Ginny knew he would understand her question. There was no doubt in her mind that Xences had been keeping tabs on Xaver.
No doubt.
His gaze was unforgiving.
"Even if you were not my sister-by-law, or however they call it, I will call you what I wish."
His mouth quivered, bemused at a joke that perhaps only he saw.
"Else, was not part of our agreement."
Xences followed her every motion with a gaze that remained constantly quick, and every bit slightly off.. His silvery orbs tracked her fingers as they stowed a lock of her curious hair behind her ear, then her lips as she spoke, her nose, then her eyes.. Constantly agitated.
"Off... Not quite himself..?"
His gaze moved to where he knew she kept the necklace.
"Too sleepy, too fatigued, too slow?"
Xences tapped his foot, and shifted, a grin splitting one side of his mouth.
"Very simple, Ginerva Molly Weasley..."
His tongue flicked over his lip.
"And it's not even my doing this time. No drugs, no razors."
His head tipped, inquisitively.
"Tell, did you like his pretty haircut?"
She said nothing of his comment about what to call her. A useless power struggle, a waste of energy and time. He assessed Xaver's current condition, confirming what she had thought all along. He had been watching.
"Tell, did you like his pretty haircut?"
Ginny's free hand jerked, as if she were moving to reach across the table and slap Xences across his face. But she didn't. She wanted to, horribly bad. But she didn't.
Instead, she gritted her teeth, allowing her anger to push away her fear.
"Honestly, I thought it made him look more like you."
She frowned, "Which means I hated it."
She tightened her hand around the necklace, as though squeezing it would give her strength.
"If the answer is so simple, then why don't you just say it?"
She wanted her answers so she could leave.
So she could get away from him.
As far away as possible.
Xences bit down on his tongue as his upper lip pulled back, quivering as a peal of harsh gritty laughter sounded in the base of his throat. He had really no care in the world what Ginny thought of him, his pleasure simply being in that he could evoke a reaction from her. As much as with his brother, her emotions were both fun, and facinating to him.
It was all a game, after all, to him.
He wanted only to tear apart..
To dissect.
To figure out what made the freaks so different from him.
It was all a game.. And there was a prize at stake..
The rules had to be abidden, just until he got his hands on it.. Or had to put his hands on her..
"Breeding with and marrying to a Fallen are two different things entirely."
Xences quipped a dark, pointed grin.
"Breed.. And you get mixed blood spawn."
He snickered.
"But marry... Those oathes are eternal. And by them, you both are bound to a sort of... Contract, if you will... Woven at the time of the Fallen's birth. Wedding vows to a Fallen are the single most important thing we will do. Call us romantics."
Xences couldn't help a small giggle, twitching even as he did so.
"We never give vows until we are absolutely certain. Which is why it is very rare, basically unheard of, for a Fallen to settle down within the first few centuries or so of his life.. When the oathes are made and over, both parties are then bound together. For eternity."
He smiled, unevenly.
"Which means you're stuck with me, too, forever!"
He shook his head, and actually backtracked.
"Meaning.. That you will both sacrifice and gain. It is different with every couple. But that is why, also, it's not common for Fallen to mix with you Humans. We don't put our powers at stake, sure.. But sometimes our immortality. Which isn't worth it, in my opinion."
Xences blatantly yawned, bored with the story, slouching back into his seat, his gaze boring over the table, knowing she had the necklace just there, clenched in her hands.
His mouth twitched, almost exasperatedly.
"Your simple answer, is that your Xaver Aleksander is in the process of change. Which is making him deliciously weak, in the process. Sacrifice and gain. You should notice some differences too, eventually. Maybe not until after you bore your half-blood."
He hated being bored.. And talking like an adult, even.
"Now, prize?"
Ginny looked down at her hand which clasped the necklace so tightly and swallowed the lump in her throat.
Xaver was being weakened.
And it was because of her.
He was losing his immortality, and it was because he had married her.
She ignored Xences attempts to annoy her, hardly hearing them.
She ignored his request for his prize.
"So this is my fault?" Ginny raised her eyes to meet his, trying to see if she could read the truth there. She bit her lip, "And there is no way to take it back?"
She didn't want Xaver to have to give anything up for her.
His eyes gleamed, the taste of her uncertainty and fear almost as complete in his mouth as the hunger that drove him, wanting more.
"Oh.. Sure. You decided to marry the stupid fool."
Xences grinned, loving her anguish. Wanting more..
Feeding off of it.
"There is no way to take it back. It's like selling your sad little soul to the devil, and getting my bastard brother's soul in return. You give. You receive. Wager?"
He pulled a face, the family term bringing a sour taste to his mouth.
"A decent enough exchange, I'd guess."
Xences stuck out his hand.
Waiting for his payment, in his own uncivilized manner.
"I'm afraid the devil himself doesn't want my soul."
Ginny muttered the words to herself, unable to ignore his hand.
Slowly, she slid out of her seat, still holding the necklace. Knowing he wanted it gave her a secret sort of pleasure. Because, if even for a moment, she held power over him. She played with the golden chain, frowning as she looked over it.
"You really are an idiot."
Teasingly, she held the necklace over his outstretched hand as she spoke, "Pathetic too."
She dropped the necklace into his hand, shaking her pretty redhaired head slowly.
"You claim you hate your brother, but the truth is you need him. Because if i weren't for making him miserable, you'd never be happy."
Xences closed his fingers over the chain with a sigh of approval. He ran his tongue over his lips and simply stared at it for a moment, ignoring her jibs with a personal best at patience.
He tightened his hand over it and moved out of his own seat, towering over the slender redhead in a manner that was far more imposing, and threatening, than the means in which Xaver held his equal height.
"Pathetic..."
His grin was slow.
Dark.
"Perhaps. But I still get what I want."
Xences leaned foreword suddenly, without any forewarning, entangling his free hand in the silken locks of her red hair, and pressing the fingers entangled with the necklace over the gentle swell of her belly, too close and too rough, as was his natural mannerisms.
"Apparently somebody did want your soul, Human. Too bad for you it was my brother. Too bad for my brother you're Human."
He gripped her hair harder.
"And you're both in such odd conditions.."
Xences drummed his fingers over her belly, pointedly.
"Better watch out, 3itch. The storm is coming. Can you fare the weather?"
With a cackle, he was gone.
He was gone, and Ginny was left to shudder. He had been too fast for her to stop him from touching her. She couldn't blame it on being pregnant, for he was naturally faster than her. She felt lightheaded, dizzy.
Sick.
She had been planning on leaving, but now all she could do was sit back down, cradling her head.
His pulling on her hair hadn't hurt.
His touching her belly hadn't either.
But a wave of nausea hit her, a feeing associated with Xences's touch. She made a small sound, half between a self pitying sob and a growl of frustration. What was all this?
"Damit." She muttered, squeezing her eyes tight against the threat of tears, "Why do I always screw things up?"
It took her a few minutes, but she managed to calm herself down. She still felt sick, but at least now she wasn't crying. Ginny wiped at her eyes, standing and leaving the money for her tea on the table. Tired and sick, she made her way home.
It was quiet there, and she wondered where Xaver and Cody were. She hadn't asked of their plans for the day, preferring to let their 'secret' bond them a bit. In a way, she was thankful for the silence. She kicked off her shoes, shed her coat and made her way to the couch. She lay down, pulling the cover off the back of it and wrapping it around her body.
Ginny shivered, closing her eyes. She felt so sick.
She began to drift off.
"WOAH!"
The front door swung open with a brilliant enthusiasm as Xaver and Cody nearly tripped over each other, scrambling through the doorway. Both giggling, Cody's voice almost breathless and hearty, and Xaver's low octaves in an endless chuckle, they made their way into the house. Xaver closed the door quickly, and shook his head, glancing down at his son who quickly dropped his bottom to the floor, and began tugging off his bright green golashes.
"It's really snowing hard!"
Cody broke into another fit of giggles, and Xaver beamed down at him, the dark oceans of his eyes glinting with unhindered amusement. He shook his head, rolling his shoulders and sliding out of his unbuttoned jacket. Hanging it on the coat-rack just inside the door, he turned, and extended his hand for Cody's shoes. Cody handed them over within a beat, then began rubbing at his mismatched socks.
Blue stripes and plain white, today.
"That it is.. Even snowball fights can't survive in that.."
Xaver winked down at him as he kicked out of his own boots, lining the pairs up evenly against the wall.
"Why don't you go get changed into some drier clothes?"
His glance had already flickered over the back of the couch. Xaver knew, instinctually, Ginny was there. He didn't need her subtly feminine, honey scent, or the gentle touch of her emotions, to know when she was near.
Cody nodded and went without protest.
Xaver padded to the couch, pausing twice to bend each leg, and tug off his socks. He rounded it, then knelt by her head, his head tipping to the side in curiosity.
"Ginny..?"
He set the socks down, and they disappeared. Reaching out, he ran a hand through her hair, brushing his thumb across her cheek.
When he said her name, she nearly jumped off the couch in fear.
She had been reflecting on her conversation with Xences in her near sleep state, and having Xaver suddenly speak to her had scared her. Her eyes snapped open, her mouth tightened, and without meaning to, she drew as far away from him as the couch would allow. She blinked a few times, taking a moment to recognize her handsome husband.
Her eyes were level with his, and she simply stared into them, thinking how vastly different Xaver and Xences were. Like night and day. Up and down.
Good and evil.
"Oh..." Ginny muttered, her cheeks flushing slightly.
She felt guilty for having met with Xences, and was trying to hide it.
"Where's Cody at?" Her voice was raspy, and she cleared her throat, propping herself up on one arm.
Ginny jumped, and instinctually, Xaver jumped.
She pulled away from him, and his hand paused in midair where she'd just been, then slowly dropped, settling on the edge of the couch as the amusement in his solemn gaze retracted. His mouth snapped shut and he blinked at her, his brow furrowing in almost a wince, as if she'd just slapped him across the face.
Why was she reacting to him that way?..
His chest ached slightly, in a startled confusion.
"He's gone off to his room, to change.. He's all wet.."
Xaver's frown deepened slightly, as the lines in his face softened, the surprise ebbing and his concern taking hold.
"Have I frightened you?"
Wet? She blinked at him, unable to comprehend why Cody would be wet.
She gave up, simply her head down on her arm and nodding at him.
"You...surprised me."
She could see the hurt on his face, and in turn it hurt her.. She was lying to him. To Xaver, the one being she trusted above everyone else. To Xaver, the one she had forced into giving up some of his immortality for her own selfish needs.
Ginny felt sicker, and tried not to show it.
"I was almost asleep."
A lame excuse. She gave him a weak, false smile.
"You just startled me, love."
Xaver frowned at her, but didn't push.
He knew she wasn't telling him the whole truth - but hey, it wasn't like she'd gone and met with his brother or anything. Things couldn't be that bad.
He figured he'd know, soon enough, anyway.
"Alright.."
He shrugged it off, but saw right through the falseness of her smile. Which only intensified his confusion.
She'd been fine last night...
What had happened?
Xaver shook his head and leaned over her, pressing a kiss to the corner of her mouth before withdrawing, and rising. Cody rounded the corner of the hall as he did so, clad in a fresh pair of mismatched socks, red flannel pants and a green t-shirt. He grinned at Xaver, then ran into the kitchen.
At the sound of the refrigerator door opening, Xaver gave one last sidelong glance over Ginny, then moved away, around the couch again, and made his way back into the kitchen.
"You hungry, feather-butt?"
Ginny closed her eyes again, feeling relieved that he hadn't questioned her further. She knew she couldn't keep lying so directly. Sighing, she listened to the sounds of her son and husband in the kitchen, her own stomach rolling unpleasantly. A fresh wave of nausea hit her and she let out a soft groan.
Why was she suddenly sick?
It was possible the guilt she felt was the cause. Okay, maybe not the cause.
But mix a bad batch of tea with intense guilt and you get sick.
She pulled her legs up, curling herself around her swollen belly and burrowing deeper into the covers. She shivered, her eyes still closed tightly. She sighed, supposing it would be better if she made herself some toast of something. She swung her legs off the couch, standing up and keeping to cover wrapped around her shoulders.
Ginny shuffled into the kitchen, towards the voices of her husband and son.
Xaver couldn't help a chuckle at his son's expression, the sheer horror at the name too funny for him to contain.
"Daaaaddd...."
Cody whined, and shook his head in disgust.
"Feather butt? Come on.."
Xaver winked at him, and reached over his head, snagging out the gallon of milk and the smaller jug of chocolate syrup. The boy closed the door and followed at his father's heels as Xaver padded lightly to the counter and took down a glass from the cupboard, and a spoon from a drawer.
"What? Don't you kids like nicknames anymore?"
His grin was playful.
"My little sister used to laugh..."
More solemnly, then, he shook his head, pouring the milk then a squirt or so of the chocolate. Stirring them.
"Kylie?"
"Yes." Xaver's low tones were light. Thoughtful.
Cody was quiet for a moment, before he snickered.
"She was silly, then, Dad. I mean... Feather-butt?"
Xaver passed Cody a wink, clinking the spoon on the rim of the glass then setting it in the sink. He handed the glass to the boy, then snatched up the chocolate and milk again, and went to putting them away. He glanced at Ginny as she rose from the couch and made toward them, before turning and facing the refrigerator.
"She was very silly.."
After a sip of chocolate milk, Cody leaned into Xaver's leg, looking up at him.
"What was she like?"
"She was little," Xaver murmured, not looking down at him, mouth pursed as he tried to figure a meal plan.
"Dadddddd...." Cody groaned. "Come on.."
"Little and feathered?"
Cody huffed a breath, and Xaver sighed, closing the fridge and shaking his head.
"Why all these questions?"
"Why won't you tell meeeee?"
Not knowing an easy answer to that, Xaver bent, and scooped the small boy into his arms, careful of the glass in his hands. He planted him on the counter next to him as he opened one of the cupboards and rifled through it.
"She was very small. Had black hair, like you. But wavy, like your grandmother's.."
Xaver remembered Kylie's face well.
Too well.
"And that's enough questions for now. What do you want to eat?"
All amusement was gone, replaced by a firm stone that Cody retracted from, bringing his cup to his lips and sipping into the silence.
"When all else fails, macaroni and cheese is the hero."
Ginny nodded at Xaver as she made her way to the breadbox. Feeding a family took more consideration than most thought. Sometimes, you ran out of meals to make, and Ginny's number one fall back plan was mac n' cheese. Cody loved it, and it was good for him.
She planted a kiss on Cody's cheek as she walked past him to the far side of the counter, where the toaster was located. She popped two slices of bread in and turned, leaning against the wall while she waited.
She felt so tired...
"What did you and Dad do today?"
She felt another flash of guilt go over her face, and she tried hard to pretend it hadn't happened. Xaver and Cody had done something fun, probably. But she had betrayed them by going to see Xences. Who knew what meeting him had triggered?
Xaver nodded to Ginny, and reached up to the highest shelf, snagging a box, then set to work.
Finding a pot, filling it with water, and meddling with the stove.
"Wellllll, Dad slept in. But, when I got him up, we went outside and had a snowball fight all day in the backyard."
Cody grinned at her over his chocolate milk, legs swinging idly.
"Those are the best when you can fly, too!"
He took a sip of his drink, and nodded vigorously.
"So we played all day.. Then we came in. 'Cause the snow's falling fast. Or 'really singing', like Dad says."
Cody grinned at his father's turned back, though the expression faltered when the older male didn't turn around, or react.
Xaver remained fixed over the stove, staring unblinkingly into the water as he adjusted the heat setting. It wasn't until he was content with it, that he moved away, and went to the fridge again for butter and more milk.
Ginny nodded, it was refreshing to see Cody act his age. Usually, he acted much older and that upset her. She hadn't meant to make her son age beyond his times. She'd done everything she had in order to keep him safe.
Cody's face fell, and Ginny frowned. But now wasn't the time to nudge Xaver to be a good parent. e was, and sometimes he missed a step. Besides, at least e hadn't done what she had today.
"I hope we don't get boxed in by the snow." Ginny murmured, turning as her toast popped up. She threw the slices onto a plate and carried them to where Xaver now stood, with the butter and milk beside him, reaching into a drawer for a butter knife.
She reflected on how much Cody was like herself and Xaver. This scared her a bit, neither was very good with people. She had an idea...
"Cody? How would you like to go to school?"
Just boil the water, then add the noodles, then drain...
"Cody? How would you like to go to school?"
Xaver blinked.
School?
That was a big step from home-schooling until Hogwarts. Or however it usually worked. Xaver knew he wasn't an expert on children, but...
"So when was this decision made?"
He gave Ginny a sidelong glance, his features pulled into a frown as he dumped the macaroni in the now boiling pot.
It wasn't that he cared if Cody went to school - but that he hadn't had any invoice at all in the matter.
"It hasn't been yet."
Ginny shrugged, sitting down at the table and pulling the cover closer before she took a hesitant bite of her toast. She turned, looking at both Xaver and Cody in turn.
"I mean like...the closest town school...muggle school." She shifted in her seat, "Until he's old enough for Hogwarts...or whatever."
She raised her eyebrows, "He spends too much time around adults..."
Ginny wanted to normalize Cody a bit more. Wanted him to associate with people better. Because if he took after Xaver, there was a slim possibility of taking after Xences. Just a little bit. She wanted him to rrecognize people as important.
Xaver's reply was lost in his chest a Cody started swinging his legs again, a wide grin behind his glass of chocolate milk.
"With other kids?"
The curiosity in his youthful tones rang impossibly true, and Xaver felt guilt stir in the depths of his belly. He wanted his son to be around other kids. Normal kids. ..But, Cody was not normal. No matter how much he and Ginny tried to fight the Ministry that he was.
He was, after all, as much of Xaver, himself, as he was of Ginny.
Xaver was not human. That was the base fact. He didn't behave human. He didn't think like a human.
He didn't feel like he ever belonged. ..Unless he was with his family. They were always his exception.
Just as well - Cody was only half like him... ...Maybe?...
"There would... Have to be rules.."
Xaver's gaze shadowed in thought, the lines of concern deepening further, as he looked away from the both of them and fixed to stirring the noodles.
"Of course. For example, those beautiful wings can't be seen by the other children. And absolutely no magic."
The last shouldn't be too hard for Cody. Ginny had rules about magic, and he had always abided by them. Ginny smiled at Cody, but it was weak. She was concerned by Xaver's reaction.
Encouraged by Cody's.
"Also, you wouldn't be skipping any grades, even though you can probably do most of the work blindfolded. So you might get very bored."
She felt the need to add this. He would indeed get bored.
"Once we start, there is to be no stopping."
Even if he one day he decided he hated school. Like most kids did.
No wings.
No magic.
No using the powers that defined who he was.
The same rules his own father had lined up before Xaver had been sent to Hogwarts for the first time.
A more rebellious side in Xaver grumbled at the thought. The rest of him, subdued by it. He'd integrated well, after a while... He'd learned. It had been difficult - but Cody had been born into this world. He should rightfully have more of a chance. Even if he was young, he was a smart boy.
He had more of a chance.
Xaver tilted his head and murmured to the boy, and Cody hopped off the counter and went to sit by Ginny as Xaver pulled down a drainer from the cupboard and placed it in the sink, then took the pot off the stove and dumped its contents carefully into it. When satisfied the water was out, he dumped the noodles back into the pot, then set it on the counter as he began to add the cheese mix, the butter, the milk..
Ginny leaned over to Cody, "How about you sleep on it tonight, and me and your dad will talk about it. Ok kiddo?"
She smiled tiredly at him as she pushed her plate away from her. She hadn't even taken another bite, her stomach couldn't handle it. She slowly stood up, tugging the cover pack into place over her shoulders.
The room was spinning. She had to brace herself on the back of the chair.
"I'm going to lay down for a bit. Don't forget to take a bath after dinner, Cody."
Both Xaver and Cody stared after her as she shuffled away, and into her and Xaver's bedroom, glancing at each other as the door closed, and she disappeared inside it.
"Dad, what's wrong with Mom?" Cody inquired lightly, setting his glass of mostly finished milk down onto the table.
Xaver gave him a sidelong glance as he scooped some macaroni and cheese into a bowl for each of them.
"I.. I'm not really sure. She seems sick, doesn't she?"
Cody gave a mute nod, lips pursed.
Xaver sighed, and planted the bowl before him, pulling up a chair beside him, for himself, and gripping his own fork.
"I'll worry about her, though. You just busy yourself with that macaroni, then we'll get you a bath then into bed."
"I'm not tired."
Xaver's glance at Cody as he chewed on his food brought a sheepish grin to the boy's face.
"Well.. Not exhaused, anyway."
Xaver simply kept staring as he chewed, and finally Cody giggled.
"OKAY, Dad."
Dark eyes softening in amusement, Xaver chuckled around his macaroni.
After Cody was tucked in and kissed goodnight, Xaver closed the boy's door, and breathed in deeply, releasing a sigh that was all fatigue and wear. He couldn't remember the last time a simple snowball fight had taken so much out of him, even if he was feeling better than he had. He still had an odd fever, though he wasn't about to mention it..
He turned the handle of his and Ginny's bedroom door and slipped inside soundlessly, closing it after him with a slight yawn. Not sensing that Ginny was awake, he stripped, dumped his clothes in the laundry bin, and made into the bathroom for a shower.
His body seeming heavier, but entirely fresher, Xaver padded out of the bathroom clad only in his most faded sweatpants. Comfortable and warm, he brought his arms over his head and stretched, then slid into bed behind Ginny. He wrapped his arm around her, and gently tugged her to him, curling his form around her, and pressing a kiss to the back of her head, breathing in deeply her scent and closing his eyes against it.
"Love, are you awake?"
"Mmm."
Ginny didn't move, didn't open her eyes. She just snuggled closer to Xaver, feeding off his body heat. She was so dam cold. She had one arm under her head, the other hand resting on her belly.
"Cody asleep, then?"
She spoke softly, not really a whisper, but not loudly. It wasn't really a question, though.
Xaver had taken a shower, by the smell of him. He smelled good.
Cody was bound to be asleep after that length of time.
Xaver brushed another kiss over her temple, then propped his head up on his palm, his elbow digging into a pillow, his other hand moving over hers and intertwining with her fingers, over her swollen belly. She nestled into him, and he held her closer, his gaze watching her through the dark.
"He is. Sound asleep."
Cody had looked as tired as Xaver had felt after his bath. The boy was asleep quick after his head had hit the pillow.
Xaver squeezed her fingers.
"Love.."
He shifted slightly, more fully against her, as he continued to watch her.
"Gin, what is wrong?"
His brow furrowed as his thoughts stirred.
"What happened today?"
"What happened today?"
Ginny considered lying to Xaver. But she knew he'd see right through it. He knew her better than anyone, and he was an expert at reading people. He'd know she was lying.
She bit her lip.
Telling him the truth, would be bad.
So she only gave him half an answer.
"I drank some tea at the Hogs Head and I think it made me sick."
Xaver scooted back a bit, then retracted his hand from hers and gently pushed on her nearest shoulder. Pushing her to her back so he could look down at her face, and actually see her.
Read her.
"And tea at the Hogs Head that made you sick also suddenly makes you cringe from my touch?"
He reached out, and ran his hand through the stray hairs across her face, tucking them behind her ear then cupping his hand to her cheek, his fingers entangled in her hair and his thumb passing back and forth over her lower lip.
She wasn't lying to him, sure.
But..
"I can ..feel it.. Your fright. Anger?"
The last was almost self-critical.
Confused.
He pushed her onto her back, and her worry grew. He could see her face, even in the darkness. He could read her eyes.
"I...I told you, you surprised me."
She didn't struggle, didn't try to move. But she avoided his eyes.
"It's not you, I was...having a bad dream...and didn't feel good...you surprised me."
Ginny didn't bring up the fact that she was rarely surprised, hardly ever caught off guard. Even in her sleep.
And when she was caught off guard, she didn't react like a frightened animal.
Her excuse was weak. But she hadn't really tried to think of a good one. She honestly didn't feel good, still didn't. She had been sleeping while Xaver took care of their son.
She didn't need to point it out.
He already knew.
Xaver slowly rolled away from her, onto his back, lacing his fingers beneath his head and staring upward into the ceiling, wordless.
He could feel her warmth, beside him, and between the crisp sheets and the comforter, he was more than comfortable... physically. Mentally, he was growing restless. Confused, unsure, and unsatisfied with her answer.
He breathed in deeply, reveling in the feeling, before he released it, closing his eyes. He fought with himself, but in the end, found no ultimate content.
When he'd first come to this world... It wasn't in his nature to prod. It was more in him to respect. Abide. Satisfy.
The ring on his wedding finger was as sure as any testament that he was forever a changed man.
He wasn't afraid to push. Wasn't afraid to question.
Even if his stomach turned at a sudden thought.
The last time she'd been this shuttered from him...
"Is it Sirius?"
"Oh Christ no!"
It was Ginny's turn to prop up on one elbow, to look at her spouse. To search his face. She swallowed, shaking her head. She didn't want him to think that. It wasn't anything like that.
She sighed, she'd have to tell him the truth.
"Ok, honestly...I went to meet with someone today." She paused, "Not Sirius."
She reached out, touching his cheek with the back of her hand. Gently, lovingly.
"I needed to go speak with this person...because I wanted to find out what was wrong with you. I did it to help you, love."
Xaver passed her a half-hearted frown, partially amused by her reaction, but still in a mess of his own confusion. She propped up to look at him, and he stilled. His gaze moved over her, assessing the pretty lines of her face as she spoke to him. Trying to read into them.
Was that guilt he felt?
Why..?
Her hand brushed the side of his face, and instinctually, he leaned into the caress.
Settled more completely by the comfort of her touch than any of the words she'd said so far.
His head tilted slightly, and his dark blues sharpened, fixing over her gaze through the darkness.
"Nothing is wrong with me."
Nothing Xaver didn't think he'd be soon getting over, anyway.
"Yes. Something is. And it's because of me."
For once, it wasn't just Ginny being self critical. It really was happening because of her. It really was her fault.
"It's because we got married."
She bit her lip, "And you are a Fallen and I'm human. And we got married, so now your immortality is disappearing."
Ginny spoke fast, her words stumbling over each other. She frowned, "And you are losing it because you married a human. Because you married me..."
She sighed. Closed her eyes. Took a deep breath.
And told him the truth.
"I met with your brother today."
"Yes. Something is.."
Xaver went unnaturally still. It was a stillness that relayed features that were entirely inhuman. Entirely unnatural to her world. A stillness that was complete, and through. A stillness that settled in his very bones, as the weight of her words sank in.
There were no why's, or how's, or what's.
Xaver knew, then, exactly what she was talking about. Exactly the tradition, that he'd either sidestepped or simply forgotten, over time. He didn't know, really, how he'd forgotten about it, but it didn't matter, now. There was a truth that was sounding clear in the unnerved ache in his chest.
His immortality was slipping away.
It was why he'd been so tired, so worn. His body was undergoing a change he hadn't even considered - total. It wasn't so much that he was going to lose any of his strengths, or gain any more weaknesses... But he was becoming, as some would, and rightfully perhaps, could, say, normal. Mortal. The very make-up of his creature was altering.
He was going to grow old.
Finally.
There was a very old, weary part of him, that sighed in satisfaction at the knowledge. He'd lived more years than many men, especially men with a history as rugged as his own, could claim. He'd fought, he'd bled, he'd hurt with all his heart - and he'd now come to know love, in every fiber of his being. It seemed.. so natural. So natural... To live a life, and leave a life.
And to be able to do it with the other that had become in every way, his other half...
"I met with your brother today."
Xaver stirred out of his reverie, and gave her a flat, hard look.
"You. What?"
Ginny cringed, "I met with Xences..."
The pretty redhead sat up completely and crossed her legs, turning and looking at her husband. She wringed her hands, bit her lip, and overall looked worried and tense.
"I'm sorry. It was a stupid move, and I shouldn't have done it. But I was worried, something was wrong with you. You wouldn't admit it, and I didn't know what to do."
Her voice was growing steadily louder and growing in pitch. She didn't take a breath between her words, just kept squeezing her hands.
"And he told me what it was. I'm sorry, Xaver..."
Xaver stared at her.
He knew Ginny was afraid of his twin, and hated him as much as he did.
"You.. met.."
His tones were octaves lower.
"With.. him."
His stomach suddenly churning, Xaver gripped the covers and swung his long legs over the edge of the bed, planting his feet onto the cool floor and rising. He went to the dresser, briefly touched the clock, then paced back to the bed, his ocean blue eyes ablaze as he moved about, not going anywhere for any particular reason. He could see her clearly through the dark, though also her slender features were graced with the light red hues glinting from the digital slashes reading out the ever lengthening seconds.
She met with Xences.
It was a breath of relief that she was there, with him now, seemingly unharmed..
Seemingly?
"Did he hurt you?"
His tones were still furious, but laced with a passion that betrayed his anger. An instinctive worry.
Care.
If he had put one hand.. And she.. Carrying their baby..
OH.
"No."
Ginny shook her head, "Well, he grabbed my hair and touched my belly. But I think it was more like him trying to prove he's stronger than I."
She uncrossed her legs, pulling her knees up as far as her swollen stomach would allow, wrapping her arms around them and resting her chin. She watched him, biting her lip. He was aggravated, rightfully so. She had, after all, done something extraordinarily stupid. She wondered, briefly, if the feeling of sickness had been more than just the revolting idea of Xences touching her.
Ginny felt guilty all over again.
"I need to tell you something...in exchange for what he told me, I had to give him something..."
Xaver's pacing came to a stop at her side of the bed. He perched on the edge, setting one palm and leaning at an angle onto it. The very thought that she'd been around his brother upset him. The knowledge that Xences had even touched her, turned his stomach and left him decidedly sick.
It was very like his twin to do something like that. Frightening others was something he had always particularly excelled at - and he'd always loved it. It was a power trip, more than anything. And if there was anything in the world that Xences had ever been denied, that he'd ever so hungrily longed for, it was power.
And what else did men with power want?
More of it.
It was a drug, a fix, and Xences was so haply, shamelessly addicted, without even realizing that he'd succumbed to the very line of his existence - he was nothing more than a physical slave, to the craving.
Xaver crawled more fully onto the bed, shifting so that he could stretch his legs out before him, and sit back against the headboard, the solid wood cold and firm behind him. His gaze never left her, mulling over the information. Trying for cool and collected though he was far too shaken up to process it all and hold too complete a face. Not in front of Ginny, anyway.
"What did he want..?"
"Your necklace."
She frowned, watching him nervously. Slowly, she shook her head.
"I'm sorry, Xav. I was worried about you. I know that doesn't excuse my foolishness."
Ginny sighed, closing her eyes and attempting to keep herself together. Stupid hormones making her so emotional. As if she wasn't emotional enough.
She opened them and looked at him, worriedly.
"Are you angry with me?"
She asked the question timidly. She didn't want him to be mad at her.
"My necklace..?"
Xaver pulled a face, confused by that.
What could Xences want with his old necklace? He'd given it to Kylie, then Ginny, because he'd never been able to wear it. He was terribly allergic to gold, and both the chain and the pendant were full of it. It was a precious item, an orb around one of his eldest feathers that changed colors to the current state of his mood, no matter how far he was to it. That was the extent to which the orb reached, however - and it wasn't like Xences was so concerned with others' feelings...
Xaver had to wonder what his twin was up to...
Because there was no doubt; his brother was always up to something.
"Are you angry with me?"
Xaver blinked and looked back to Ginny, his head tilting slightly as he watched her, drawn up into herself and those eyes watching him, laced with guilt and pain and..
He sat up, drawing his legs under him as he scooted over to her. When he was sitting just before her, he reached out to her. He curled his fingers beneath her chin and gently tilted her head toward him, willing her to look more fully up at him.
"Furious.."
The seriousness of the word was lost in the affection of his gaze, then simply brushed aside as he leaned into her, and captured her lips for his own.
He leaned back after a moment, his hand still cupping her chin, and searched her gaze, his ocean blues traced with a protective worry.
"I would give up any sort of life here, to be with you for eternity."
The sharp angles and hard planes of his handsome features softened slightly, warming as he looked at her.
"I want you. I need you. I love you."
He drew his other hand to her face, cradling her cheeks.
"I can't lose you.. And that is all he desires."
"I just don't understand it, Xav."
Ginny leaned into his hands, closing her eyes with pleasure at his touch. She opened them after a moment, meeting his eyes sadly.
"Nobody is born bad. Why does he hate you, and consequently me, so much?"
Her voice was laced with sadness, and she tightened her grip around herself.
"Why has he done the things he's done? What was so different between the two of you that you turned out so wonderful and he so...wrong?"
Ginny didn't know where these questions came from. The whole thing just bothered her. She had done plenty in her lifetime to warrant being hated. But all she had done for Xences' hate, it seemed, was love Xaver. She simply couldn't understand it.
"Xaver, I hate him."
Xaver watched her for a moment, loving her reactions to him, before his hands slowly dropped to his own knees and his gaze grew both thoughtful, and haunted. He leaned into her and brushed another kiss over her lips before shifting back to sit against the headboard. He couldn't tell if it was the chill of the wood or his memories that brought an instantaneous shiver through him.
"He wasn't born bad."
His gaze lost in the pretty lines of her face, Xaver's own features pinched slightly as his thoughts wandered.
"We were both just kids, once.. He wasn't a bad kid. No worse than me. And the things he's done.."
Xaver's eyes flickered to hers, shadowing slightly.
"Some are no worse than things I, myself, have done."
He rubbed his jaw.
"My brother used to be my best friend. Nobody ever knew me better, until you. We began to know our differences and part ways, when our mother died. Then more, when I was announced as our father's successor, naturally because I'm just slightly older. He didn't like that."
Xaver's gaze was tired.
"There have been.. many things.. ..And he hates me so. I believe he snapped when he ordered Kylie to death. And since then, he's transferred his anger, and his hatred of me, onto you. To include you."
Xaver tilted his head slightly, so that it leaned against the headboard.
"I hate him for what he's done. For what he's become. But all this anger, all this pain.. It's just made me tired, over the years. Xences, however, has thrived on it."
He looked at her.
"He never let himself believe that there could be more. And now, for him, there is nothing more."
He folded his hands behind his head, ignoring the way his knuckles knotted painfully against the wood. His gaze dropped to his toes.
"I lost my real brother a long time ago. He left when my mother died, and he never came back."
Ginny listened to him, her eyes seeming to look past him into something only she could see. She still looked sad, very sad. Finally, after he finished speaking, she met his eyes.
"How did your mother die, love?"
It was possible, that had their mother lived, Xences would not be as different as he was. It was possible he might have kept his sanity. It was also possible, that she would never have met Xaver.
Slight changes of the past that seemingly have little to do with the chain of reactions, can change everything in the future. Ginny knew this better than most, she had once been in charge of protecting the natural order of things in Time. It had been a job she had been allowed to leave, when her employers saw that her humanity would not stand for some things. Like harming children.
She never really could get over harming children.
She refocused on Xaver, waiting for his answer patiently. She didn't know much about Xaver's childhood. Only what he had chosen to tell her. And the little that Kylie had managed before Xences had ordered the little girls untimely death. Yes, she knew more about Xaver than almost anyone.
But she only knew what she had been told. And what she had been smart enough to pick up on.
Xaver's gaze slowly flickered over to Ginny, before moving away, focusing on some odd shade in the distant wall as the warmth in his gaze subsided, his features hardening slightly. Not at her question - but at his own answer. His tongue stalled even as the memories flowed, as liquid and virile as the day he'd come to know them.
Burned into his mind.
"When Xences and I were kids, our homeland was at peace. We were always training, sure.. but 'twas more because of custom, than anything else. We were only teenagers when the riots started, and the unrest between the neighboring kingdom.. country.. reared its ugly head. Our people had always been intertwined, but there had always been an underlying race issue."
Xaver leaned more heavily onto his now aching knuckles.
"One night, my mother didn't return from her evening walk in the gardens. Xences and I went looking for her."
He paused, his gaze finally adverting, and rising to meet Ginny's. Seeking comfort in the warmth of her fiery soul.
Finding comfort in her gaze.
"Stripped, raped, and her wings shorn off flush with her back, she'd bled to death long before we found her."
Xaver's gaze dropped. He curled his fingers into the thick strands of his hair, fighting off the emotion that was clawing its own way up his throat.
"We never knew who did it."
His jaw was hard.
"But they all paid."
Ginny had seen many terrible things in her life. Hearing about what had happened didn't shock her, what did was the fact that Xaver and Xences had been the ones to find their mother. Such things could never be erased from memory, and Ginny could tell how much it bothered Xaver.
"It's ok, baby." She said, unfolding her legs and crawling up beside him. She knelt on the bed slightly to the side of him and gently cupped his face, planting kisses all over his face.
Ginny pressed her forehead to his, meeting his blue eyes, "How come you never cry, honey?"
Xaver had learned years, decades, centuries ago, that facts were facts. He couldn't change them. It was only in his power to write his own, and make his own choices - but it was his own burden to accept what was, and what is, and to understand it. Or to try to. Things couldn't be erased, and they shouldn't be forgotten.
Admitting and actually living with those things, was so very much harder.
Xaver trembled slightly beneath the warmth of her touch, her words smoothing over his tangled thoughts. Leaning into her hands, he embraced each of her feather-soft kisses.
Knowing them.
Loving them.
Drawing from them.
Even as he bit down on the tip of his tongue and subdued the instinct to rant. To rave, and scream, and make those responsible pay. Over, and over again. Pay for the loss of his mother. And brother. And sister.
Anger and hurt swelled within him, but he clamped down on the feelings, letting his arms fall from beneath his head, and settle over his thighs.
It wasn't okay. He wasn't okay.
There were open and unaddressed wounds in his soul that had bled, untended, for more years than he could even count.
And they still hurt, as wholly, and swiftly, as ever.
She pressed her forehead to his, and he had nowhere else to look but into the warm, honest depths of her gaze. A shiver reverberated through his lean form as every muscle poised to withdraw, self-defensive instincts jarring the urge to turn away, and conceal the vulnerability within him from her prying eyes. Every wall and defense he'd built to keep others out shuddered, as he made no move to look away from her.
"I.."
He drew a quiet, deep breath through parted lips. Knowing confusion. Guilt.
And shame.
"Was not supposed to."
"Poor baby." Ginny whispered softly, her hands playing with his hair as she continued to look into his eyes. Those blue eyes that seemed to show his thoughts more effectively than if she were to read his mind.
She frowned, "Whomever taught you that crying is weakness was wrong, you know."
With that she bent her legs beneath her, sitting back on them and gasping one of his hands between her two smaller ones. She pulled his hand to her lips, kissing the top of it and still looking at him.
"I cry. Am I weak?"
Xaver's heart lurched in the rock confines of his chest. He hadn't expected her sympathy.
Confusion, inquisitiveness, disgust even..
But not sympathy.
"My father raised us as he knew best..."
His low tones were suddenly not so shrouded.
"He knew soldiers. Not children."
Her lips brushed his hand, and his heart stirred in that familiar, alive ache.
He reached for her, wrapping one arm around her middle and the other beneath her thighs, pulling her to him effortlessly, and drawing her onto his lap and close. Cradling her within the circle of his arms, and holding on tight.
"You are not weak, dearest mine.."
The smile that tilted his lips was loving, and slightly tinged with sadness.
"And I adore you, that. You don't hide.. Where I just can't seem to stop.."
"I hid for three years."
She pointed out the fact softly, smiling as he held her.
"I am tired of hiding, and I refuse to hide ever again. No one shall control me like that again."
It was hard to explain. But hiding meant that whomever she was hiding from controlled her. She hated that. She hated being told what to do.
Ginny's head lay on his chest, now, and she pushed away the thoughts as she felt a wave of tiredness and nausea drift over her. She still felt rather sick, but didn't want to show it.
"So what do you think about sending Cody to school?"
She changed the subject none too subtlety.
She'd hid for three. He'd locked his soul away for more than three hundred.
And she'd only shied away, because he hadn't been there, for her...
She curled up against him then, and Xaver gazed down at the top of her head.
Was he truly so lucky, to have her? Her, and her forgiveness, and understanding, and more, love?
Xaver didn't think he'd ever understand it.
"So what do you think about sending Cody to school?"
Xaver looped his arms around her slender form, the inside of his forearm brushing the gentle rise of her swollen belly. Not perterbed, but finding her change of subject almost accommodating, he settled back into the headboard, snuggling down into the pillows with her, and allowing his dark eyes to finally close, and shut away that which haunted him, for another day.
"It might be good for him.. To understand... how do you call them? Mugglers?"
He peered down at her through one slightly opened eyelid.
"Muggles." Ginny said, nudging him and giggling softly.
After a moment, she sighed, "I want him to have some more humanity. How will he respect all life if he doesn't understand any of it?"
Ginny knew that with a child like Cody, he could easily become distant, anti-social even, if he did not interact with people his own age. She wanted him to respect all life, to understand that every life was important. To someone.
"We've taught him all we can. We cannot teach him social attributes. He can only learn that from his peers."
Mugglers, muggles, mortals..
Who knew.
A corner of his mouth tilting slightly in amusement, Xaver rolled to his side, dropping onto the pillows and curling up behind her.
"Respecting and understanding..."
He nodded against her shoulder, and brushed a kiss to the slope of her neck, closing his eyes.
"Mmm... I suppose humanity is too vague for me, and go figure.. Neither of us are adequate at this.. social.. thing.."
He chuckled softly.
Exhausted.
"Speak for yourself, love. I had six siblings. I had to be social."
Ginny closed her eyes, muttering the words almost inaudibly. Even after all that sleep from before, she too was exhausted. And still sick. She reached down, pulling the covers up over the both of them and snuggling deeper into his arms. It wasn't long before she drifted into sleep.
Hours later, her eyes snapped open. It was the darkest part of the night, around two, three am. It was also the coldest part, yet somehow Ginny was sweating. And shivering. She felt so sick. In their sleep, she and Xaver had become a bit untangled, and now she completely removed herself from him and stumbled out of bed.
She stood up, and everything spun, turning sideways, then upside down and Ginny dropped down onto her knees.
"Xa...Xav..I don't feel so good..."
She knelt on the floor, one hand holding onto the small table beside the bed so she wouldn't fall on her face. She made a small noise, sounding almost like a lost kitten. She couldn't remember what she had been dreaming of. Something about eyes...
Ginny shivered as her thoughts brushed near what her dream had contained.
Xaver huffed a laugh at her answer and shook his head, conceding her point.
It wasn't long, curled up against her warm form, his cheek brushing the back of her head, before he drifted off.
He didn't dream.
A seemingly endless, dark sheet had encased his thoughts.. Concealing everything, and giving nothing.
There were no bodies, no blood, no tears, no screams. No answers. Both a blessing and a curse, his dreams often provided a few more visual insights to the dark abandon that was his subconscience, while tormenting him, and reinventing the past.. A double sided coin that was a blurry whole.
He stirred slightly when Ginny rolled away from the far stretches of his arms, drawing in a slow breath as he heard the soft, distant rustling of her movements as she got out of bed. His form curled, slightly, beneath the covers, enjoying the remaining bits of warmth as she moved away. Her words drew him to an abrupt stillness, before he sat up quickly, blinking against the sleep-distilled darkness that still was a thick and complete presence in the room.
"Love?"
Xaver tossed off the blanket, and within a breath, was kneeling beside her.
Gently touching her shoulder, he peered into her face.
"I..."
Ginny shook her head, everything seemed to be moving slowly. Now everything speed up. She felt sick all over, not exactly like she was going to throw up. Just sick, horribly dizzy. Her perception kept changing. First she saw everything from the ceiling, then from her own eyes, then from across the room.
"I don't know what's..."
She tried to speak, but her words came out airy, as though she couldn't get a proper breath. Her free hand went around her stomach, as though to protect the child within. From what she didn't know.
Those eyes.
"Somethings...wrong with...me."
Xaver had never been religious. He'd lived too long, and too hard a life to know any sort of reverence or affection for any sort of power. To him, there were no gods, there was no afterlife. There was here, and now, and what came with death was something else entirely. Something he'd figure out when he got there.
There was no one in which to beg, no one to curse, and no one to blame. There was only him, those around him, and the world they created.
He didn't know what to do.
"Hold on, baby.."
With both hands, he cupped her chin.
"Just hold on."
Xaver blurred as he rose, and sprinted to Cody's room. The boy was still more or less asleep, arms looped around Xaver's neck and legs around his middle, piggyback style, when Xaver burst back through the door.
"C'mere, love.."
He scooped Ginny up into his arms with ease, but very carefully - and then they were gone.
They appeared in the center of the nearest hospital.
That it was a muggle hospital, was only in the growing irony.
"Help!"
Doctors looked around from their stations, and the nearest nurse dropped her clipboard, staring.
"I need a doctor here, now. Please.."
Socially adept.
Perhaps Ginny was.
Xaver however, was absolutely not, on more occasions.
There was a moment of silence, in which the small family was simply stared at. Then a group of people surged forward, taking Ginny from Xaver's arm and laying her on a moving bed. The doctors moved her away, down the hall and out of sight as the nurse who had dropped her clipboard touched Xaver's elbow.
"Sir? I need you to answer some questions."
The nurse smiled kindly at the sleepy eyed Cody and nodded towards the uncomfortable looking chairs, "Why don't we take a seat over there?"
Usually, women couldn't help but go gaga over Xaver's good looks. But this nurse didn't seem to see his attractiveness. Instead, she seemed interested in only one thing, getting him to answer the questions that she was required to ask.
They all came to him as ordered, and Xaver nearly backed away. They took Ginny from the protective circle of his arms, and Xaver murmured in protest. He started after them, but was brought to stillness by the nurse brushing his arm. His eyes remained on Ginny, until they had taken her away, and around the corner.
"But.."
Swallowing around the lump in his throat and the panic lurching in his heart, Xaver shifted, bringing Cody around him and cradling him more fully against his chest. The boy, eyes still heavy with sleep and barely awake, dropped his head to his shoulder and pressed his face into Xaver's throat, the arms around his neck slack.
"Questions?"
Xaver glanced at the nurse.
"Ask them. I do not need to sit."
His words were short, his tones choppy. His eyes fixed on the corner Ginny had disappeared around, instincts tempting him to follow.
"Sir, I understand you are upset. These questions are going to take a few minutes. Perhaps you would like to lay your son down?" She blinked, "Assuming he is your son."
She glanced down at her clipboard, "What is your relationship to the woman you brought in? I'll also need her name and your name."
"As well as her age, any current medical problems, and if she has been on any drugs. Prescription or otherwise."
It was her job, not to be kind, but to get a proper medical history. Without it, the doctors could overlook something vital to helping Ginny.
"He is my son."
Xaver's glare was hard. It wasn't, perhaps, the nurse's fault, but the Fallen lord had been under far too much speculation over that simple fact, than surely anybody was due.
He merely stood, simply ignoring her offer.
"She is my wife. Ginerva Molly Weasley Xian. I am Xaver Xian."
His sidelong glance was distrusting.
"Three and twenty years, no drugs, and she is very pregnant."
Xaver didn't understand hospitals, or even what the nurse was doing.
"Pregnant?"
The nurses eyebrows drew together in puzzlement, "This is her second pregnancy? And she's only twenty-three?" She wrote the answers down, not needing his confirmation.
He had said it, after all.
"Has she been out of the country recently? Does she smoke? Does she drink? What is her occupation, if any?"
The nurse moved on with her questions, seemingly unperturbed by his sidelong glances.
Xaver stared at her.
"Is that to you odd?"
His dark head tipped to the side very slightly, the wild oceans of his eyes now solely fixing on the nurse.
Was this all a stupid idea?
Ginny needed help, or something, he knew that.. but was he right to take her here? To these people?
"I.."
He could feel his heartbeat, pounding a bruise into the underside of his chest.
"Don't know."
The nurse sighed marking down that he didn't know and answering him at the same time, "Sir, I'm not a doctor. But in my experience, young pregnancies are often accompanied with many problems. Did she have a hard time with her first pregnancy?"
She lowered her clipboard, "Sometimes, we have teenagers come in here..babies having babies. Mr. Xian, I don't mean to be forward, but the body was not built for such a thing."
The nurse herself seemed to be only thirty something.
Xaver clenched his jaw as Cody snored softly into the contour of his throat.
That old, familiar ache rushed back, as fresh and painful as ever. The guilt.
He'd been gone three years. He'd missed more than he'd ever be able to repent for. Ginny's pregnancy, Cody's birth...
"I do not know."
It wasn't that he cared what she thought - the woman before him was only a tool, for him to effectively use and dispose of for his own means; helping Ginny. Accusing eyes and degrading tone did nothing to him - but the knowing start in his own heart, of his own subjecting, malicious opinion, was suddenly put on display. And far too violent for him to ignore, or subdue.
Looking up from the desk where his gaze had drifted to in thought, Xaver slowly looked back to her. His dark blue eyes ablaze with a sudden fury.
"Your meaning and your means are not symmetrical."
Finding that irrelevant, and that he shouldn't care, he altered subjects.
"I have no care for your some times. My wife is neither a teenager, nor a child."
He had centuries on her years, and she was talking down to him?
Of course, she couldn't know that.
The nurse gave a sigh, "Wait here, sir."
With that she tucked her clipboard under her arm and went down the hallway, in the direction in which they'd taken Ginny. Several minutes passed, and out came a different woman. This one wore a white coat, and walked with her head high. She carried the nurses clipboard, which she glanced at as she neared Xaver.
"Mr. Xian? Your wife seemed to be having some sort of panic attack, but it's gone now. Would you like to see her?"
Xaver shook his head and looked away as she left, his arms wrapping more completely about his son's sleeping form.
He buried his face into Cody's shoulder, trying to calm his own fears.
"Mr. Xian?.."
Xaver looked up, not knowing how much time had passed.
Panic attack? His stomach clenched.
He could imagine why..
He nodded, slowly.
"Yes. Now."
The doctor nodded, motioning for him to follow her. She lead him down the hall and around a corner, then through a few sets of doors. Suddenly, they were in a pristine hallway with doors on all sides. One of them was open, and the doctor led Xaver in there.
Inside, the room was dim, and Ginny was on the bed, covered with a white blanket. She was sitting up, talking to a different nurse than Xaver had seen. This one was older, much more prone to smiling. The both looked up as the doctor, Xaver and Cody walked in.
The nurse patted Ginny's arm and left the room.
"Mrs. Xian, I suggest you stay here till morning so we can observe you. I think the worst of the worse is over." The doctor smiled at Ginny, then turned to Xaver, "Mr. Xian, you and your son are welcome to wait in this room. If you get hungry, we have a small cafeteria on the third floor."
She left.
Ginny looked at Xaver, "Bring Cody here. he can lay in the bed with me."
She moved over, making room for her small son. She spoke softly, however.
"Your brother said that you aren't the only one who's going to undergo some changes."
Xaver followed, practicing obedience, then stopped just inside the doorway, the nurses lost to him as his dark oceans fell over Ginny. Cold and panicked gave over to warmth, and utmost relief. His gaze moved over her, slowly, watching and noting everything, anything, calculating and analyzing through the worry, and instinctual fear.
She was ok.
...She had to be ok.
Right?
Xaver padded quietly to her bed, then slowly bowed at his waist, gently depositing Cody next to Ginny. When the boy was pressed up against her side, he ran a hand through the thick mop of his hair, and tucked the sheet around his shoulder.
Perching on the bed, himself, Xaver brought his gaze to hers, laced still with the concern that had driven soul deep.
"...And.. What else, did the brother, mine, tell you..?"
"That our marriage is a sort of contract."
Ginny raised one shoulder, smiling slightly, "And that I will developed a few...uh, abilities or what not."
She looked down at their son, shaking her head. Trying to clear it. They had given her something to relax her, and it made her mind slightly hazy.
"I dunno."
She seemed lost in staring at Cody, amazed by him. Amazed that she was the mother of such an innocent, adorable, beautiful child. And that she had another one growing inside of her. The whole concept was amazing to her.
"Hey Xav?"
A contract.
A link that was as eternal as the studies could forgive.
Xaver leaned more heavily into the bed, his hand resting atop Cody's sleeping head, and Ginny's leg brushing his hip. His unnerved heart still fluttered in his chest, but the tempo, then, was far more relaxed.
He wanted to believe, that she was perfectly fine, just as nature had it that all mankind wished everything wrong, would correct itself.
He new better.
And that scared the hell out of him.
As did the dam*ed hospital.
As an empath, Xaver was attune to emotions, as he was attune to sights, smells, touch.. Emotions, feelings - they were, to him, another sense.
The despair, agony, and loss that came with a hospital...
He jumped, when she murmured his name.
"Yes?"
"D'you think we'll ever be able to live...without such worries?"
She continued to look at Cody, but her smile was gone.
"I mean, we shall always have worries. But why can't we worry about normal things? Like paying bills on time. Or getting our son to bed on time without a fight."
Ginny shrugged one shoulder, "I dunno. Forget it."
She settled back into the bed, reaching with her one hand and catching his hand that played with Cody's hair. She squeezed his hand with hers.
"I dunno."
Her thoughts were jumbled.
She looked up at him, finally.
"So what are they saying is wrong with me? The doctor didn't say."
"No.."
He laced his fingers with hers over Cody's head, then glanced down at their conjoined hands.
"I think, maybe someday.. Someday all of this will leave us, and we'll be able to live together, peacefully.."
Xaver's gaze flickered up, meeting hers.
"I want to believe that."
He had to believe that all of the angst, the drama.. The trials and disputes about who they were, and what he was..
Someday, they had to go away.
Solved or not.
"They haven't told anything, to me. The nurse outside is muttering about my cooperativeness.."
Xaver's gaze trailed out the half-blinded window, where the nurse and Ginny's doctor were speaking amongst themselves.
"Oh?"
Ginny too looked out towards the window, one eyebrow raised in confusion.
"What didn't you cooperate about?"
She could only imagine. To many people, Xaver was a silent, unapproachable being. He scared many out of their wits just with a glance. And he didn't even intend to do it. At least magical people understood a little more. Muggles were afraid and they had no idea why.
"Refused to tell her your ethnic background?"
"Actually, I just told her the truth.."
To a degree.
Xaver's halfish grin was all devious mischief.
"I didn't do anything, I swear."
He brought his hands up, suspect style
"The truth?"
Ginny raised her eyebrows, "The truth about what?"
She glanced back out the window, suddenly suspiciously of the nurse and doctor who only wanted to help her. Unconsciously, she began to rub Cody's arm, even though she had no way of knowing what had happened in the waiting room. Had she known, she would have gotten out of bed and said something very mean to the nurse. She hated it when people judged her by the age she had given birth to her son.
They knew nothing.