(Nice, well just keep reading then...)
"C'mon. Let go of your wand and sit down. I honestly don't feel like hexing you right now."
"It's funny," Sirius paused, taking a quick breath and looking at Ginny... finally.
She was pretty, of course. Plain, to some, but to Sirius something special. To this day, Sirius suspects that the only reason he grew to have such intense feelings for her, was because of the day in the forest when they kissed. Not the first kiss, his immature head first dive into it, the calm one. She taught him something that professor's aren't supposed to teach. He experienced something that he couldn't feel from anyone else, a new feeling, that he hadn't felt since that day. She had showed him, just a glimpse, of how her connection with Xaver influences there kisses.
It was such a beautiful moment in his life, one that he would surely never forget. After that day, everything about Ginny changed. Sirius always thought her pretty, but what his understanding after that day, his whole aspect of her had changed, she was suddenly one of the prettiest people he had ever come into contact with, simple or not.
He was dazed for a moment, thinking about her, not leaving her mouth. He never looked at her eyes, not anymore... call him crazy, but he preferred for some reason not to. He continued, his voice soft and a clear note. "I'm not afraid of you anymore."
Sirius used to be afraid, terrified in fact... of Ginny. Her power, was incredible... her abilities were like none other. The duo that Xaver and Ginny had together, was an impossible force. They're connection between each other was unbreakable, as were the two up against another. Sirius had experienced both a fight with Ginny and a fight with Xaver, though Xaver was more heartless... that being expected of course from a beast.
Sirius was only prejudice against Xaver because of Ginny. Looking from the outside, one would not read it in this way. Xaver's features, were not of a normal human, because Xaver was not a human, but something much more advanced. Sirius was in contact with centaurs, merpeople, and many other magical things in the world. Had he run into Xaver in another situation, in another time, Sirius sometimes pondered what would have become of the two. Surely he would have been nicer, more sophisticated. Being around Xaver though, did not bring out the best in Sirius. He was immature and egotistical around him, which always proved to easily get him into trouble. He didn't feel bad for the way he treated Xaver, he just wished Ginny would understand... would see why he felt this way.
Perhaps a part of her understood, quite possibly... but whatever part that may be... she ignored it very easily. Her love for Xaver was unquestionable, and it sickened Sirius.
He released his grasp on the unfortunate chair finally, bringing his hand up and brushing his hand through his hair. He needed a bath, most unfortunately though his hair did not get greasy, it looked older though. It was more ragged to say the least. His clothes, made him look even more lost. He wore no robe, he had left it on the stool but it had fallen to the floor now. A spider crawled curiously on it, gross. His pants, though at one point nice black work pants, were now clearly dirty. Dust balls and white stains were painted on them, and his shirt was just the same. A dark shade of green, one side was untucked and his sleeves rolled up messily. The shirt was wrinkled, and the top three buttons were undone. He looked drunk, though anyone watching him would only have to watch his movements, clearly obvious.
He didn't care, that was an obvious fact. Sirius didn't care about anything nor anyone anymore. His job hung on the balance, barely making it in for work... and barely being awake enough to leave. He slept well at night, but was always still tired. He slept whenever possible, and whenever he wasn't doing that nor pretending to make a difference at work... he was drinking. He didn't eat much anymore, which was strange for Sirius Black of course. Anyone hearing this news, would question his sanity... he was past questioning it now. He didn't care what he was, just so long as he wasn't entirely lost, he would be able to live day by day the way he wanted. He wasn't weak, which was surprising for someone who barely ever did physical activity anymore and who didn't eat.
Sirius didn't know why that was, his strength seemed to be... almost building as each day past. He thought that to be weird, but every time he had a chance to question it, he gave up. He didn't care enough about himself anymore to care. That was probably what was most sickening about it all, he had given up on not only everyone else in the world... but himself.
He no longer feared what he was becoming, he accepted it in an unhealthy manner. Expecting change... welcoming it.
Anything to get away from everything that was haunting him. Perhaps, he sometimes thought, the monster he was becoming, was what he was meant to be all along. Perhaps, he pondered, this was what he needed to be happy again. A drastic change, from the nice Sirius... to the feared Sirius. People wouldn't forget him then, people wouldn't question him. That's what he needed... invincibility.
Fat chance on that one...
His hand slipped into his pocket, as his other hand held out his wand. He wanted to hurt them all, watch them be in agony. He wanted to laugh at the idea, his eyes burned for their pain. He griped his wand tighter, Ginny could get him to his knees easily, but where would she stop? Did she have the heart to kill him? He wondered. He wasn't afraid to fight back anymore, wasn't afraid as before to hurt her. Before he never stood a chance of hurting her, and now was probably no different. An air about Sirius egged him on, dared him to push her to her limit. His curiosity made him thirst for the pain he would probably endure.
He was a sick man.
A different Sirius.
It made no difference to him now.
Nothing mattered,
except power.
"C'mon. Let go of your wand and sit down. I honestly don't feel like hexing you right now."
"It's funny," Sirius paused, taking a quick breath and looking at Ginny... finally.
She was pretty, of course. Plain, to some, but to Sirius something special. To this day, Sirius suspects that the only reason he grew to have such intense feelings for her, was because of the day in the forest when they kissed. Not the first kiss, his immature head first dive into it, the calm one. She taught him something that professor's aren't supposed to teach. He experienced something that he couldn't feel from anyone else, a new feeling, that he hadn't felt since that day. She had showed him, just a glimpse, of how her connection with Xaver influences there kisses.
It was such a beautiful moment in his life, one that he would surely never forget. After that day, everything about Ginny changed. Sirius always thought her pretty, but what his understanding after that day, his whole aspect of her had changed, she was suddenly one of the prettiest people he had ever come into contact with, simple or not.
He was dazed for a moment, thinking about her, not leaving her mouth. He never looked at her eyes, not anymore... call him crazy, but he preferred for some reason not to. He continued, his voice soft and a clear note. "I'm not afraid of you anymore."
Sirius used to be afraid, terrified in fact... of Ginny. Her power, was incredible... her abilities were like none other. The duo that Xaver and Ginny had together, was an impossible force. They're connection between each other was unbreakable, as were the two up against another. Sirius had experienced both a fight with Ginny and a fight with Xaver, though Xaver was more heartless... that being expected of course from a beast.
Sirius was only prejudice against Xaver because of Ginny. Looking from the outside, one would not read it in this way. Xaver's features, were not of a normal human, because Xaver was not a human, but something much more advanced. Sirius was in contact with centaurs, merpeople, and many other magical things in the world. Had he run into Xaver in another situation, in another time, Sirius sometimes pondered what would have become of the two. Surely he would have been nicer, more sophisticated. Being around Xaver though, did not bring out the best in Sirius. He was immature and egotistical around him, which always proved to easily get him into trouble. He didn't feel bad for the way he treated Xaver, he just wished Ginny would understand... would see why he felt this way.
Perhaps a part of her understood, quite possibly... but whatever part that may be... she ignored it very easily. Her love for Xaver was unquestionable, and it sickened Sirius.
He released his grasp on the unfortunate chair finally, bringing his hand up and brushing his hand through his hair. He needed a bath, most unfortunately though his hair did not get greasy, it looked older though. It was more ragged to say the least. His clothes, made him look even more lost. He wore no robe, he had left it on the stool but it had fallen to the floor now. A spider crawled curiously on it, gross. His pants, though at one point nice black work pants, were now clearly dirty. Dust balls and white stains were painted on them, and his shirt was just the same. A dark shade of green, one side was untucked and his sleeves rolled up messily. The shirt was wrinkled, and the top three buttons were undone. He looked drunk, though anyone watching him would only have to watch his movements, clearly obvious.
He didn't care, that was an obvious fact. Sirius didn't care about anything nor anyone anymore. His job hung on the balance, barely making it in for work... and barely being awake enough to leave. He slept well at night, but was always still tired. He slept whenever possible, and whenever he wasn't doing that nor pretending to make a difference at work... he was drinking. He didn't eat much anymore, which was strange for Sirius Black of course. Anyone hearing this news, would question his sanity... he was past questioning it now. He didn't care what he was, just so long as he wasn't entirely lost, he would be able to live day by day the way he wanted. He wasn't weak, which was surprising for someone who barely ever did physical activity anymore and who didn't eat.
Sirius didn't know why that was, his strength seemed to be... almost building as each day past. He thought that to be weird, but every time he had a chance to question it, he gave up. He didn't care enough about himself anymore to care. That was probably what was most sickening about it all, he had given up on not only everyone else in the world... but himself.
He no longer feared what he was becoming, he accepted it in an unhealthy manner. Expecting change... welcoming it.
Anything to get away from everything that was haunting him. Perhaps, he sometimes thought, the monster he was becoming, was what he was meant to be all along. Perhaps, he pondered, this was what he needed to be happy again. A drastic change, from the nice Sirius... to the feared Sirius. People wouldn't forget him then, people wouldn't question him. That's what he needed... invincibility.
Fat chance on that one...
His hand slipped into his pocket, as his other hand held out his wand. He wanted to hurt them all, watch them be in agony. He wanted to laugh at the idea, his eyes burned for their pain. He griped his wand tighter, Ginny could get him to his knees easily, but where would she stop? Did she have the heart to kill him? He wondered. He wasn't afraid to fight back anymore, wasn't afraid as before to hurt her. Before he never stood a chance of hurting her, and now was probably no different. An air about Sirius egged him on, dared him to push her to her limit. His curiosity made him thirst for the pain he would probably endure.
He was a sick man.
A different Sirius.
It made no difference to him now.
Nothing mattered,
except power.