it was a cold, dreary night,the fog was thickening by every breath yazzy took. every step she took she became even colder. she shivered as a cold wind gust sent chills up her spine. she remembered just mere hours earlier she was saying good by to her daughter,Jayzella (pronounced jay zell uh) promising she would be back soon. her daughter had nothing to fear considering her aunt had came to watch her.(her daughter is three yrs old.) she soon realizied that she had gone off the road due to the poor visabilty. dang those stupid weather man who had said that it would be a cool autumn eve. what did he know? it wa winter for peety sakes. she could ahve easily apparated to her house to make it easy but, she had problems imagining her little house in the city in the fog it had not been this bad in a long time she had moved since the last time it was this foggy.
(hopefully u guys liked it i wont do more until u guys bump me or at least post a positive coment)
its good but i don't think thye have cars and tvs
keep going
(good point)
YAZZY TURNED AROUND AND HAD TO TRY HER BEST TO KEEP FROM PANIKING AND WORRYING ABOUT HER BABY GIRL. EVEN TOUGH SE HKNEW THAT HER BABY WAS SAFE SHE STILLED FEARED SOMETHING WOULD HAPPEN TO HER WHT IF A DEATH EATER.... SHE SHOOK HEERSELF MENTALLY THIS WAS SOMETHING SHE HAD TO NOT THINK ABOUT. SHE HAD AN AWKWARD FELLING THAT THIS FOG HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE ATMOPHERE, SHE CAST HER PATRENOUS WHICH TAKES FORM AS A SHAGGY DOG. IN AN ISTANT THE FOG WAS UPLIFTED BUT HE VISABILITY SEEMED STILL TO POOR FOR HER TO SEE. SHE HAD A FELLING GO DOWN FROM THE TOP OF HER HEAD TO THE BOTTOM OF HER SPINE TO THE PIT OF HER STOMACH. YAZZYS DAD WAS NEAR BY. SHE TRIED WITH ALL HER MIGHT TO UNCAST HER PATRENOUS BUT IT WOULDNT EXTINGUISH. TAHT COULD ONLY MEAN ONE THING BUT NO TAHT WAS SILLY BUT WHAT IF IT WAS TRUE?
(SAME THING APPLIES AS LAST TIME WONT CONTINUE UNLESS I GET A BUMP OR A POSITIVE COMENT)
good thrill, hey just so ya know you could use more adjectives, and why are you driving
Try to edit it more
Assuming this is a story...
It doesn't belong on this board! Please post it on the FanFictions board, and delete it from here.
Yeah keep posting but post on the fan fic board.