Seth had over-done it. He had never drunken alcohol like he did this evening. But he heard how it could numb the hurt he had and with every drink came a little less pain. By the time he had made it to Hogwarts, it was nearly 11. Well past student curfew.
He stumbled stupidly along the forest, catching himself on trees. He wasn't numb anymore. Now he was angry.
How could she deny him? How could she question his love? So what if he was young? He knew what he wanted. Seth took a swing at a tree, splitting the bark and cutting his knuckles so that blood dripped onto the ground. Oh how good that felt. He took another swing and missed, falling to the ground.
Seth didn't get up. Instead he cried. Why was he crying? He didn't care. It was raining now. Nobody would be here to notice.
Alice didn`t go back to the school. She couldn`t face all of those people, and especially the other vampires that might question her. So instead she had stayed in the forest, in the trees mostly, where other wandering students might run into her.
But she heard him, and she knew it was him. And she could also tell that he had been drinking. The smell of alcohol wasn`t normal for the forest. She didn`t know if he was ready to to talk to her yet, but she would soon find out. She swung down from the tree she was perched in.
"Seth?" She whispered, knowing that he would hear her. She stayed back, ready to flee if that`s what he wanted. She felt so bad for giving him the ring back, and the empty spot on her left hand was already strange to her. She took a step towards him, letting the moonlight hit her and making her eyes reflect it.
"Seth, are you okay?"
Seth looked up, hearing that sweet angellic voice. It was her. Alice Brokeheart.
Seth was soaked in rain, water rushing down the tips of his soft black hair.
Did he look okay?
"I'm fine!" He said over the rain. "Never better."
Alice took a few more careful steps towards him, not caring that he hair was soaked and sticking to her face.
"Seth? What happened?" It was more of a demand than a question? He had been drinking. She knew that. She could smell it on him, despite the rain. It was just one of those scents that stuck with you, and he reeked of it. "How many drinks have you had?" She asked, again stepping closer to him.
Her eyes scanned over him, searching for anything wrong. She couldn`t see anything, except for the scratch on his knuckles. That was bleeding. Blood.
"Oh, my God." She whispered, taking a step back, eyes getting a little wider. Anger made her bloodlust worse, so did stress and sadness. She had had enough of that in the past two days. She was thirsty.
"What happened?" He said. "You happened." Seth pushed himself up onto his feet, his expression angry. Seth shook his head. "I don't know how many drinks I've had." He really had no idea. He had had his fill of firewhiskey and a shot of dragon's fire (A shot of strong alcohol.).
He lifted his hands and turned them over, the rain making blood run down his wrist. Then he swore silently to himself and looked at Alice, her eyes wide with bloodlust.
Alice`s eyes turned cold, a way to hide her emmotions. It had become common for her to do this, especially when she had been a young vampire.
"Seth," She said softly but firmly, "I`m sorry, but I don`t want you to regret this fifty years from now, when you still might look exactly as you do now. I don`t want you to be unhappy, okay? I don`t want you to hate me when this is all over. And I thought I could trust you with the fact that you would act responsibly. When you said you needed to think, I thought you would actually think. I didn`t expect you to get drunk." She said, not stopping to take a breath she didn`t need.
(ill be back in like an hour)
((I'm really sorry I forgot.))
Seth couldn't think straight right now. He felt so, so, idiotic. He was ashamed of what he did. Why did he even enter that nasty bar? He knew how Axel would drink, and Seth just assumed that he would feel better.
Seth wiped his hand on his pants and looked at Alice. He felt like he would fall over any second now, but he wouldn't.
"I'm acting like a selfish idiot right now." He said. "You don't deserve someone like that." Seth glanced into her cold eyes. "I have to go. If...if your not that upset with me, please come find me in the morning." Seth didn't want her to be around his blood much longer. It wouldn't be good.
Alice just stared down at his hand. She didn`t want to speak, because then she would have to smell his blood. She`d be able to taste it in the air. And she couldn`t break her concentration to nod. She felt like she was balanced on the edge of a knife.
She couldn`t help it. She was hungry, and her eyes proved that as they deepened to the darkest black possible. The scent of the blood still burned in the back of her throat, calling to her, edging her forward. She stood there, soaked and tense, waiting for Seth to make a smart move.
((It`s okay, You said you wanted yo piss her off. Well, walk towards her. He supposed to be drunk, right?))
But something changed Seth's mind. He smirked and bit his lip, hard enough to draw blood. He stepped infront of her and softly kissed her upon the lips.
Seth then began walking towards the school like the drunk fool he was.
{:O}
(( =| That wasn`t exactly what I meant. But.... okaaay.))
As soon as Seth took that first step forward, Alice tensed and straightened up. But he did the thing she had least expected him to do: he kissed her. Two hundred years of patience and control were tested at the moment. The taste of blood so close to her; that tiny little half-drop that met her lips hung there for a second. She tried to resist it, but she wouldn`t be able to wipe it off with her hand, either.
She licked her lips.
Seth was only about ten steps away. A leap, really. She could easily land on his back from here and..... NO. She was not like that. she didn`t drink from humans. She was the good vampire. She shuddered with the effort of staying where she was. That small drop. That was all she needed. After two hundred years, she failed herself when she most needed to be strong. She shivered violently, her eyes the brightest blue they`d been in two centuries.
With a low growl, she took a step forward, all predator. But it was Seth. She growled again, but at herself. The next instant, she was running off deeper into the forest.
((Do ya just want to skip to like... two days later?))
((I love doing the unexpected ;P Sure.))
Seth sat at the Ravenclaw table in the Great Hall, his black hair slightly messy due to the fact that he basically just got up. He sipped some pumpkin juice and ate some toast, but didn't want anything else. He kept looking to the entrance, waiting for Alice to show up.
((I have to go at nine.))
Alice squared her jaw, staring out the window. It was a gloomy day, so was yesterday. She didn`t mind though, because that means that the sun wasn`t out, and she could be in the forest all day. Down in the deepsest areas of the forest where no students were, because most of them were killed if they did go there.
But she had to face him sooner or later. That was why she went downstairs. She could have stayed up in the girls` dormitory all day if she wanted to, but she couldn`t. She fed yesterday, knowing that she would see him again today. She was furious. Seth knew that she was a vampire, and that she had been hungry, but he had kissed her. And he had made his lip bleed, too, so his blood had been transfered to her.
She went down the long stairs at a slow human speed, trying to think of what she would say. She didn`t want to do this, but she knew that to now or never. She stood at the entrance to the Great Hall, her eyes avoiding Seth. He would come to her when he was ready.
Seth had finished his breakfast awhile go. He was just turning the page of the Daily Prophet, when he saw a new group of students enter. And then he saw Alice standing there. d**n he felt so ashamed for what he did. How should he approach her?
Alice squared her jaw, deliberatly looking out the long window. She leaned against the wall, crossing her arms. She could feel Seth`s eyes on her, she didn`t need to look at him to know that. His gaze felt like a strem a fire was connecting them.
She would wait. Seth had been the one to... well, make everything go wrong. He was the one who had got drunk. He would have to start it.
Seth waited. Obviously she wasn't going to approach him. He had to begin. He slowly got up from the table and made his way to the entrance. He stood infront of her, a million things going through his head.
Seth exhaled quietly. "Alice...I'm-I'm really sorry." He said, looking down at his shoes.
Alice saw him stand up from the corner of her eyes. He looked nervous, and he had every right to be. Didn`t he know how close he was to death the other night?
He came up to her, and spoke. The scent of his blood brought back the burning sensation in her throat. The memory of his blood was... amazingly harsh.
She ddin`t say anything to him, just looked down to the ground. What could she say? She didn`t know.
"I..well...I-I." He was stumbling on his words. What could he say? He was an absolute imbecile the other night. It was so vague, but he remembered kissing her. He drawed blood from himself. He could have died. He dragged his hand across his face and sighed.
"I didn't mean to get like that."
ALice couldn`t help it. She loved him, she did. Her eyes found there way to his. Beautiful blue against his plain eyes. That`s how it would always be-- stunning against normal. Deadly against dead.
"But you did, Seth." She said softly, mkaing sure no one would hear. But the Great Hall was crouded, and sooner or later, someone would hear them. "Come on, let`s go outside." She led Seth out into the gloomy day, careful not to touch him. She didn`t know if she could handle that just yet.
Seth nodded and followed behind her. When they stopped, he looked up at the clouds. The day was beautiful but bitterly cold. Yet here was Seth in thin pajama bottoms and a white t-shirt. He liked the cold.
They were close to the forest, but still in what sun there was. It felt nice outside to Alice; the sun was hidden behind the thick clouds. Even so, the vampire was still a little uncomfortable being out during the day.
Alice lifted her bright eyes to look at Seth. He look disheveled, and somehow amazing at the same time.
"Seth," She sighed, "What you did was... so dangerous." She started, lowering her eyes to the ground.
((My bad. I forgot it was a gloomy day.))
Seth looked her in the eyes, not opening his mouth once to talk. His eyes did the talking.
He stuck his hands in his pockets, and he felt the ring that she had given back to him. Seth had kept it with him everywhere he went. But good was it to have it now?
((=P))
Alice closed her eyes and clenched her teeth. His thoughts were shouting at her in her mind, and she couldn`t quiet them. He was sorry and ashamed, she knew that, but that couldn`t change what he had done.
"Oh, Seth." She finally said. She took a step forward and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head on his chest. It felt so good to be near his warmth, the pump of his heart so...
Blood.
She stiffened, but didn`t move away. She could control her hunger. She was going to force herself to.
The fact that she had embraced him had shocked Seth a little. He sighed and ran his hand through her hand and rubbed her back.
He felt her stiffen. d**n he screwed up. Seth gently pushed himself away.
"I`m sorry." Alice muttered, running her hand through her hair and staring to pace. "I just... I miss you." She stopped and looked at Seth. He was something that had been a wonderful surprise for her. He had brought her out of her time of darkness, even if he screwed up. He was human, after all, and humans made mistakes.
"I missed you too." Seth said, turning away from her. "I miss you every second I'm away from you." Seth touched the ring. "I love you Alice. I really do."
Alice clenched her teeth together.
"I know, Seth, I know that you love me. Whatever you may think, I know that you love me. I just... I don`t know if we`re quite ready for that yet." She said softly but firmly.
"I know." Seth said. He took the ring out of his pocket and threw it as hard as he could into the forest.
He turned and took her icy hand. "Can we start over?"
Alice almost winced as the ring flew throught the air. The sound of it flying was sharp and high, and the thud as it hit the ground sounded hollow. It had been a beautiful ring, perfect. But she would start over if he wanted to.
"Of course." She answer, taking his other hand.
He smiled softly when she took his other hand.
"I'm Landon." He whispered. "But I'm mostly known as Seth."
Alice grinned, playing along.
"Alice. Brokeheart. Alice Brokeheart. She moved her hand so she could shake his, smiling widely the whole time.
Seth grinned and then embraced her, planting a soft kiss on her forehead.
Alice laughed, the sound like thousands of bells chiming.
"I`m sorry sir, but I don`t know you." She teased, pretending to be ashamed that he had kissed her nose.
Seth chuckled. "Oh, my apologies dear madam. You're just so...beautiful." He kssed her hand.
Alice grinned and squeezed his hand.
"Well, sir, not do bad yourself." She gently pushed him with her hip.
"Eh, I need a haircut and a shave. Then we'll talk." He said, touching his stubbled chin.
Alice smiled. Her immortal eyes could see every little imperfection in his face. You would think that humans would repulse her with their uglyness, but Seth did the opposite. He called to her like a magnet.
"Well, how `bout you meet me on the edge of Hogmead at seven, and we`ll see what happens?" She suggested, looking up into his eyes. This could work, it really could.
"You have yourself a deal my lady."
Seth met her eyes and felt happy again. He watched her face, seeing every perfection. But once again, that wasn't the reason he loved her, though he loved everything about her.
"So I will see you at seven then?"
Alice smiled and nodded.
"Count on it." She said softly. She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. She looked forward to tonight. She felt absolutely horrible about telling him no after she had accepted the ring. His little episode the other night didn`t exactly help.
Seth turned a little red when she kissed his cheek. He prayed that she forgave him. He was so immature. "I'll see you then okay?" Seth said.
((You wanna fast forward?))
((Sure.))
As soon as Seth was out of sight, she dashed into the forest and found the ring. It wasn`t that hard. Metal wasn`t usually in the dense trees, so she just follwed that scent. She felt a little guilty having it, but she couldn`t just leave it there. Besides, if Seth tried to find it, he never would.
~~~
Alice stood at the edge of Hogmead, a long black coat wrapped around her. She had forgotten to tell Seth to dress nice, but she didn`t want to find him again. She also didn`t waant him to see her dress right away, hence the coat. You could see her black high heels, though.
"Come on." She mumbled, looking around. She knew that she would smell him as soon as he was close enough, but she still couldn`t wait for him to get here.
Seth was close to Hogsmead now. His hair was cut short and a bit spiky with some gel and his face was clean shaven. He wore a white dress shirt with short sleeves and light blue jeans. He wanted to show Alice that he was mature.
He finally turned a corner and saw Alice standing there, fqcing the opposite way. Seth grinned and walked next to her.
"Hello." He said cheerfully.
Alice smiled as the scent of Seth reached her nose. He always seemed to smell nice, for some reason. She could smell the gell in his hair and everything.
"Hey." She said, turning around. "Are you ready?" She asked, tilting her head and holding her hand out. She could hold his hand, but she had sworn to herself that she wouldn`t kiss him. Not tonight.
Seth nodded and gently took her icy hand, feeling the familiar tingle of mixed temperatures.
"Where are we going?" He asked.
Alice grinned.
"I`m going to watch you eat dinner, then I thought we could go dancing or something." She shrugged, making it clear that the plans were open to change.
Seth laughed. "I'm not really hungry though. His eyes went from her jacket to her heels. She never usually worr heels. Atleast not around him.
Alice nodded and shifted her weight. Human habits die hard.
"Okay. Do you have somewhere that you`d like to go?" She asked, her eyes sparkling in the moonlight. It was getting darker faster now, and soon it would be pitch black outside. She had made sure that she fed before she came, so she wouldn`t be hungry. The result was having stunning eye color that was reflected to the ground.
"Not particularly. Do you?" He asked, sticking his other hand in his pocket. Seth noticed how vibrant her eyes were, but didn't say anything about it.
Alice shrugged.
"Not really. When you have fover to go somewhere, most of the small things don`t matter." She looked at the ground for a moment. "You`ve changed a lot of that, you know? You`ve made the small things matter." Her beautiful eyes locked on his, conpletely blank, but beautiful.
Seth smiled crookidly. "What kind of small things?" He asked softly. He found her beautiful blue eyes locked on his plain green and blinked, looking at the ground.
Alice smiled.
'Well, like how I look, or where I go. I don`t know, just the little things that vampires overlook. When you live forever, you don`t really care if you look nice everyday." She tried to explain, also looking down to the ground.
They were getting more into town, now, and were just passing the first buildings.
"Its funny." Seth said, looking around, watching people do some last minute shopping.
"I used to be so quiet. I was afraid of girls. The mere sight of one made my stomach twist in knots.But for some reason I wasn't afraid of you."
Alice smiled.
"That`s surprising. Humans naturally tend to stay away from vampires. Survival instincts may be burried, but they`re there. And I guess I changed, too. I didn`t talk to anybody, not even other vampires, and now I have friends." She shook her head as if that was unthinkable.
"I guess opposites attract." Seth said quietly to himself. He glanced at her occasionally as they walked, but looked more at the ground and what was ahead.
Alice laughed softly.
"I guess so," She replied. She began to wonder why Seth had seemed so special to her. He wasn`t anything out of the ordinary. He wasn`t super gorgeous or horribly ugly. He waas normal, and she was anything but normal.
Seth smiled at the sound of her laugh. Any sound she made was like music to his ears. It was like this vampire had a spell over him or something. He didn't mean to fall in love. Heck, love wasn't even one of his main priorities.
Alice glanced over to see Seth smiling. They were passing through Hogsmead, but Alice showed no sign of stopping.
"Seth, out of curiosity, what do you like best about me?" She asked the question in a light tone, but it was heavy in her mind. She had been careful how to word it. She wanted to know why he loved her, and she didn`t want him to get in a bad mood again.
It came almost automatically. Seth barely had to think about it when he said in a gentle tone, "Your eyes." He kept walking, staring ahead. "Because they speak a lot for you. They speak your emotions when you try to hide them."
Alice stopped and pulled Seth with her. She was automatically turned towards him, her eyes completely serious. She stared at him for a moment until he looked at her. She looked pale in the moonlight, even plaer than in the sun. Her black hair didn`t help that fact, but it fell into her eyes.
"Seth, do you have any idea how deadly I am?" She asked, the wind pulling at her long black coat.
"I'm not afraid of death." He said, turning his head away. Yeah, before it worried him, but Seth trusted her more than anything now. He wasn't afraid.
Alice clenched her teeth, not satisfied with that answer. She looked at the ground, trying hard not to show her anger. He couldn`t even look at her for God`s sake. She was silent for a moment before she spoke.
"But I`m not human, Seth. I`ve killed before, even if I don`t kill now. I`ve lived through a thousand sins, and I`ve been alive since before most of your ancestors. Doesn`t that bother you?" She asked. She just couldn`t understand. He was so incompetent.
Seth shook his head, almost giving up. "What do you want me to say Alice?" He asked, now looking her right in the eyes.
Alice took a deep breath.
"I want you to tell me the truth." She said softly. It was her turn to look to the ground. She was beginning to feel like this was all just a waste of time.
"Fine." Seth said. "I am afraid. Infact, its terrifying on some nights. When you're bloodthirsty, the look, the cold, hostile, look you give me gives me chills." Seth kept his eyes on hers, very serious.
((Do you think that you could be a mod? Not here, I mean.))
Alice looked up to meet him eyes. He was telling the truth, and she knew it.
"Good." She said softly. Now she felt kind of bad. This was supposed to be their second chance, and she was ruining it.
"I`m sorry," She apologized. "Shall we?" She motioned forward.
((Sure =3))
Seth sighed silently and turned. "We shall." He replied, his tone a mix between happy he told the truth and feeling bad. What was happening to them?
((Kk. I`ll keep that in mind. I`ll be done with my site soon. I just need to fix some graphics and get the basic posts set up. Then I`d liek you to check it out. XD))
The vampire sighed, too, but silently.
"Now, I`m guessing that you`re wondering where we`re going." She said, a small smile staring to spread across her face.
((Okie doke.))
"I was kinda wondering that when we exited Hogsmead." Seth said.
((You wouldn`t happen to have a 900 pixel pic of New York, would you? =) ))
Alice`s smile widend.
"Well, I was thinking that we could go to this little place I know of. Muggle." She said, glancing over at him to see his reaction.
((Not on this thing, but my step mom ha pics from her trip to NY on the computer. I can look the next time Im on.))
A small smile appeared on Seth's face. Muggle places were always amusing. He didn't say anything about it though. He kept walking.
((I go to bed now lol. G'night!))
((Cool. Thanks.))
Alice was grinning now.
"Well, we`re out of the Apparation barrier now, so..." She stopped and turned to face Seth again. She put her free hand on his shoulder. He would know where they were going, so he would just have to ride along. "Ready?" She asked, but didn`t wait for an answer.
After a stomach-wrenching second, they were instantly in a dark alley. Alice ran her fingers through her hair and adjusted her coat. A large was still plastered across her face she looked up to her date for tonight.
Seth's face was momentarily pale when they arrived in the dark ally. He closed his eyes and brought his hand to his forehead.
"I never really liked apparition." He said with a weary smile. He looked down at her smiling face.
What exactly were they doing?
((Sorry. I can't get on as much again. I had to disconnect the router because our internet screwed up. I'll try to get it running sometime.))
Alice smiled sweetly.
"You get used to it after about the hundreth time." She replied. She adjusted her coat and squeezed Seth`s hand, leading him to the shadows near the edge of the alley.
((It`s okay. I forgot about this thing. XD ))
As she led him down the ally, the uneasy feeling in Seth's stomach went away.He looked around, his eyes slowly adjusting to the dark.
The vampire paused and squeezed Seth`s hand, loving the temperature difference between them. She closed her eyes for a moment, then opened them and continued out onto the sidewalk. The only people around except for a couple facing the other way.
"So, curious yet?" She asked.
"A little. Are you going to tell me what's going on or do I have to keep waiting?" Seth said, smirking.
Alice smiled, and part of it was just becasue he had smiled.
"Well, I thought we could go to a nice dinner. And maybe dance, too." She looked up at him from under her lashes.
Seth raised a brow.
"But you don't..er...eat." He said. "I feel weird being the only 'food eater'."
Alice nodded, leading Seth down the sidewalk. There were occasional streetlights, and they made her skin look yellow.
"I can eat, but food just doesn`t taste as good. I`ll eat, too, thought." She assured.
Seth shook his head, squinting his eyes as the yellow lights hit his pupils.
"Its okay. I'm not very hungry."
She tilted her head, her reflective eyes meeting his.
'You sure? We-- well, you-- might as well eat. There probably won`t be any food where we`re going." Not for him, at least.
"Don't worry about me." He said. "I'll be fine."
"Okay, then. That changes things a little." Alice replied, mostly to herself. Her eyes were on the next corner, the one they would turn at.
"Have you ever danced before?"
"I..uh...don't dance." He said, rubbing his neck. "I mean...I don't know how."
Alice grinned, laughing a little.
"Well, tonight is going to be fun." She teased. She knew how to dance, of course. She grew up in the ninteenth century, she had to know how to dance.
"Fun." Seth repeated to himself. The last dance he attended, he stepped on Katie Farris' feet more than three times.
Alice stopped walking, her eyes locked up on his.
"Do you even want to go?" She asked. "I mean, if you want to do something else... that`s fine."
"No no no. I do. I do want to go. I'm just...." Seth shrugged his shoulders. "Shy." He squeezed her hand.
It was Alice`s turn to raise an eyebrow.
"I`m being serious, Seth. Do you want to dance, or do you have another idea? I`m not going to let you embarass yourself, and you won`t be alone. These people won`t be professionals or anything, and you can`t hurt me by stepping on my feet. What are you worried about?" Her tone was open and questioing, and she wanted to know his honest opinion.
"I want to dance with you." Seth paused and then opened his mouth to speak, but didn't saying anything else. He motioned for her to lead the way.
Alice waited a moment longer, then squeezed Seth`s hand tightly.
"Seth, I`m not going to make you go out and dance if you realy don`t want to. To be honest, I`d be fine with just walking around and talking to you. I want to know what you want to do."
"I said I'll dance with you Alice."
Seth was on edge this night. He screwed up and wanted to make Alice happy. He was scared that if he did something, she would break their relationship off for good.
"Why did you take the ring?" He asked quietly, staring at the sidewalk.
Alice also dropped her eyes to the ground. For the first time in two hundred years, she wished that she couldn`t read minds.'
"Because I wanted to marry you." She said softly. "I wanted to marry you more than I`ve ever wanted anything, but then I thought about it for a while. I don`t know if I could change you. I don`t know if I want to change you. I`d be tearing your life away from you. You would never be normal again, never be sane. You`d feel everything. You have no idea how hard all of this is. You`ve made me so happy, and that`s all I want for you. I want to make you happy, but I don`t know how." Her voice trailed off. She felt like crying again.
"Who said I had to be changed? Is it some vampire law? Is it some-some...." Seth was at a loss for words.
"Forget it. I'm sorry for bringing it up." Seth took his hands and put them in his pockets.
Alice ground her teeth together for a moment, getting frustrated.
"I`m not going to forget it, and don`t be sorry. I was going to bring all of this up sooner or later, anyway. And I was going to change you because... because I wasn`t going to let you die while I lived forever." She said, her voice getting softer with every word.
"I wasn't asking you to marry me because I'm some guy who thinks he found the right person." Seth said as he put his hands on her shoulders, His eyes looking straight into hers.
"I asked you because I know I found the right person.Yeah, I know I rushed. But I had good intentions." He let his arms drop.
Alice took his hand slowly, the fierce cold of her skin mixing with the warmth of his.
"I know, Seth, believe me. I know, I can tell. You wouldn`t believe how easy you are to read. But I can`t." She paused for a moment, breathing in the heavy scent of the air.
"I don`t know if I can change you, Seth. And if I can, is that what you really want? I`m not going to marry you and then watch you die, but I`m not going to change you if that`s not what you want. You don`t understand how big of a decision this is. When you first asked me, I didn`t even think about being realistic, I was too happy. Now I`ve thought about it." She looked into his eyes, serching.
"I want to marry you, my love, but I don`t know if it`s the right thing."
Seth sighed, looking down at the ground. A soft gust of wind hit Seth's cheeks, making them red.
What could he say? Changing wasn't a big deal to him. At least not now. What if he wanted to go back to his human self once he changed? What if he couldn't control himself?
And being a vampire meant that Seth couldn't be an animagus. When he was a wolf, he felt so...free. Not held back by the demands of the homosapian lifestyle.
Seth looked up again, into Alice's eyes that made his look so plain. His hand stroked her cheek.
"I can't." He said, his tone soft.
Alice lifted her hand slowly, stroking his pink cheek.
"Can`t what, my love?" She breathed. She could pry into his mind to find out, but she didn`t want to. She wanted to leave his mind alone.
"I can't change."
Seth felt bad. He ruined this night that Alice had planned. He shouldn't have brought it up. He would have gotten over it eventually.
Alice nodded slowly, lowering her eyes to the ground and dropping her hand from his cheek.
"I know." She took a deep breath, the sweet scent of Seth filling her lungs. "I know. And, even now, I wish things could be different." She squeezed his hand gently, silent for a long moment.
"What do we do now? I`m leaving all of it up to you." She hoped he would understand her open-ended statement. It was his choice where they wanted to go from here, as two people in a strange town and two people in a relationship.
Seth moved a few strands of hair out of her eyes.
"Please don't make this up to me." He said, looking down. "Please."
"I can`t." Alice replied, catching his hand again.
"I`ve already given up my life, I`m not going to take yours away if you don`t want me to." She softly kissed the back of his hand. She would miss this-- the simple touching, the heat that radiated from him, everything. The truely did love him, and she would be really depressed if things took them separate ways.
Seth watched as she put her icy lips to his hand.
He was quiet for a minute or two, closing his eyes and listening to the sounds around him. He heard the wind blow, distant footsteps, an owl hooting.
"What are you thinking Alice? What do you want." He emphasized the you.
Alice closed her eyes as he asked his question. She didn`t know how to asnwer, so she focoused on her surroundings for a minute.
She coud feel Seth`s pulse through his fingers, smell his blood in the short distance between them. She could feel the air around her, feel the diffrent particles. She could hear everything; Seth`s breathing, the own, the footsteps, along with everything else withing a mile. Everything seemed electric and there. She was calm now, so she started to think about what he had asked.
What was she thinking? What did she want?
"I`m thinkins about us. What`s going to happen between us now. The future. I don`t know what I want. I want to be with you, but I don`t want to hurt you. I want to watch over you, to make sure you`re safe. I want to keep my distance, so you have a chance at a normal life. I want to feel human. I don`t want to be a vampire anymore. I want to be a human." She kepy her eyes closed as she spoke so her emmotions wouldn`t show through. She hated herself. She hated everything about herself right now.
Seth pulled Alice close to him, her head near his chest. Near his heartbeat. He kissed the top of her head.
"There's nothing that Can reverse it?" He asked. "Not even a potion to change you back?"
Seth could see Alice suffering and it broke him apart inside.
The vampire stiffened as Seth pulled her closer, but relaxed as he kissed her head. She carefully wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her ear over his heart. The pounding rhythm of the most improtant organ was comforting.
"No, and you know that." She answered gently. "Once you change, you`ll live until someone kills you." She opened her eyes. She had once asked an older vampire she knew to kill her, just because she saw no reason to keep "living" anymore. She hadn`t gone through with it, obviously, but she remebered that time now.
Once you change, you`ll live until someone kills you.
That was hard to think about. It had to be hard to kill a vampire.
"I still want to be with you." He said. "What say you?"
Alice thought about what he said, her eyes tracing the lines of the bricks of the closest building.
"I still want to be with you, too." She said finally. She didn`t add anything else, it would make things too complicated for now.
"Will you kiss me?" He asked. Seth wasn't sure what she would do. He was a jackass that one night.
Alice suddenly smiled and lifted her head to look into his eyes.
"Sometime." She said, almost all of her dazzling teeth showing.
Seth couldn't help but feel rejected but understood. He took her hand. "If we don't go now, I'm sure we'll be late for dancing."
Alice grimaced as the feeling of Seth`s rejection rippled over her, but she shook it off. He would have to deal with it if he wanted to stay with her. She wasn`t going to sugarcoat everything for him anymore, no matter how much she wanted to.
"Okay," She said cheerfully, "come on, it`s only about half a block farther."
((G2g. Be back tomorrow.))
"Okay lets go." Seth said as he took her hand. It tingled as the temperatures mixed.
As they walked, Alcie sloely dragged her thumb across the back of his hand, feeling the smooth texture of his skin.
"It`s just over here." She said, nodding down the street to a large building. A couple was entering now.
Seth smoothed his hand across his short and spikey hair, so used to having longer hair. He watched the couple enter the building. They were dressed very nicely.
((G2G))
((Sorry my typing is so bad, wow. I`m on Facebook and reading something at the same time, so I`m trying to rush through everything.))
They got close to the building and Alice stopped again, turning to face Seth.
"You sure you want to do this?" She asked. "Dancing isn`t that hard, and I won`t let you fall. I promise." She smiled coyly.
Seth laughed. "I'm not scared of falling." He squeezed her hand. "C,mon, lets do this." He nodded his head toward the building.
Alice laughed with Seth, her eyes twinjling again. She was happy here with him. She just wished it would stay that way.
She pulled him through the door and into the entrace foyer. The floor looked like white and black marble in a diamond pattern, and the walls were a rich red color, but it was mostly covered with paintings and tapestries.
Despite the fancy apppearance, the music drifting from the next room was pure pop. Alice squeezed Seth`s hand and started for the other room.
Seth listened to the song as he glanced around the room. It was catchy and had a pretty good beat. How hard could this be? He grinned as Alice, who seemed rather eager, started for the other room. "Woah there! Slow down chica." He teased.
Alice smiled and stopped, turning to face Seth and taking his other hand.
"What`s wrong?" She asked innocently. "It`s dancing, Seth, not lion taming or cliff diving." She teased back. Now, if she would be honest with herself, she knew that wanting to dance would just be an excuse to touch Seth, to smell him. She wasn`t ready to let him go. She didn`t know if she would ever be. For now, though, while she had the chance, she would keep him close.
She also knew that even if I didn`t work out between them, she would always be there, to help him if he needed it, to watch over him. Sure, it would be hard to see him get older, but if that was what made him happy, then she would deal with it.
Seth only smiled. No, dancing was not like lion taming or cliff diving. Those things he would do in a heart beat. Jumping off a cliff didn't involve specific foot movements or rhythm. Lion taming...well he was a wizard and an animagus. So if the giant cat were to attack, he'd be able to defend himself.
He looked at Alice. Not just a quick look, but one long enough to take in the details before him. Her perfectly smooth ivory skin, her brilliantly vibrant blue eyes, silky black hair. Seth would miss this if they parted. He would miss the way her eyes spoke to him when she couldn't say what she wanted. He'd miss the dazzling smile that made him feel happy everytime he saw it.
If only she knew that he would change. Just not yet. In a year even, he'd do it.
Seth brought his lips to the top on her hand and softly pulled away, his lips cold.
"Just don't make fun of me okay?"
Alice noddde and tried to ignore his thoughts that ran through his mind. she wished she could make it stop, she didn`t want to know everything he felt, and her deserved some privacy, too.
"Don`t worry, I`m not going to be dancing with anyone tonight who will make a fool fo themselves." She winked and pulled him into the larger room. The song had changed to one a little slower, and couples were getting organized. Little tables were placed around the edge of the room for people to sit and get something to drink. The closest one was empty, so Alice undid her coat buttons and pulled it off, revealing her pink dress. It clung to her skin, ending just above her knee. There was a black sash acrost her waist, ending in a bow in the back. She ran her fingers through her hair, looking up to see Seth`s reaction. This would be the first time he would have seen her in a dress, and she wanted to know what he thought about it.
She would, of course, be absolutely stunning to anyone who saw her. Already she could hear a few jealous thoughts to those girls closest to her, and thoughts of wonder from the boys. She just hoped Seth would see through her outer beauty.
"Wow." Seth said more to himself than to Alice. This was a first. Never had he seen her in a dress before. His eyes slowly took the site in. She looked amazing. Of course, it didn't matter what she wore. She would always be gorgeous to him inside and out no matter what.
Seth smiled. "You look beautiful." He said tenderly.
"Thanks." Alice replied, folding her jacket over her arm before setting on the table. She turned around to face Seth, her skirt moving with her. Her legs were jest as pale as the rest of her, but that didn`t seem to matter. She ran her hands over the fabric, a movement older than she was.
"Ready?" She asked. Without waiting for an answer she took his hand and led him out closer to the other dancers. "You should know how to dance to this." She whispered, raising her hands to his shoulders.
Seth smirked. "Yeah. I can do this." As she put her hands on his shoulders, he put his on her waist, feeling a little awkward. He smiled down at her as they swayed to the song.
Alice smiled, instantly moving to the slow beat of the song. She knew that any of her movement would appear extremely graceful, and no matter what, Seth wouldn`t look entirely great standing next to her in other peopl`s eyes, but he did in hers. Her finely-tuned caught a few mistakes by whoever was singing. She didn`t recognize the song, but that didn`t mean much.
"Have you ever danced before?" She asked, looking up into Seth`s dark eyes.
Seth looked up at the high ceiling.
"Yes." He said. "I was 14. That was the last time I danced. I stepped on my date's feet a lot and she got mad. So she ditched me and I finished the night sitting in a chair on the side of the room." Seth looked back at Alice and chuckled.
"I'm assuming you've danced before?"
Alice gave Seth an obvious look.
"I was a teenager in the eighteen hundreds, living in the center of Europe. Yes, I`ve danced before. We`d have dance cards, and balls, and all of that mushy stuff." She made a face. "I`m glad corsets went out of style." She mumbled as she lead Seth.
Seth considered making a perverted joke, but decided againt it.
He watched other couples dancing, some singing along to the song and some already sucking face. Others were dancing just like Seth and Alice. He hummed softly to the song ,now familiar with the notes.
An eyebrow raised as Alice easily caught the joke in Seth`s mind.
"You know I can hear you, right?" She teased. "I mean the kind of balls where people do traditional dances." She smirked. "Something I`m sure is a little over your new-gereration head." She meant it as a joke, but once it came out of her mouth, it didn`t exactly sound nice.
"I wish you wouldn't do that." Seth said. "I can just as easily read your mind but I've refused to." This was true. Seth had been able to read minds for years, but he didn't care for the power too much, so it was rarely used.
Seth raised a brow at her comment, knowing what she meant. He continued to watch the others.
((Brb. Showwuh))
Alice smiled sweetly.
"I`ve been alive for over two hundred years, hiding for most of it. Now do you think that I don`t have a sufficent enough sheild to keep you out of my mind?" She asked, batting her eyelashes.
A smirk formed upon Seth's mouth. "I think...you under-estimate me."
The song changed into a very upbeat pop song. "Great...." He mumbled.
Alice`s smile widened.
"I`m sure. Because after two centuries, I can`t read people at all."
"We can't all be winners." Seth said as he fixed his collar and stretched his arms.
Alice sighed and put her hands on her hips, catching the attention of a couple of passing boys. She just ignored them and their not-so-nice thoughts.
"You`re starting to sound a little pessimistic." She complained.
"Sorry." He said sincerly. Seth took her hand. "So now you're going to teach me to dance," he paused, "right?"
Alice gently squeezed Seth`s hand.
"Sure. What would you like to learn?" She asked. "New stuff or old stuff?"
"Whichever you like best." Seth said. All he wanted was to make her happy.
Alice raised her eyebrow again, staring into Seth`s eyes with her own. She wanted him to give his own opinion, but she guessed that that wasn`t going to happen.
"Okay. Old stuff then." She led him a little away from the croud and put one hand on his shoulder. "You know how to waltz, right?" She asked.
Seth shook his head. "I can't dance at all. You might want to start me with the hokey pokey." He grinned. "Don't I put one hand here?" He placed one hand on her waist. "Then I take your hand, right?"
Alice laughed and pulled Seth a little closer, adjusting his hands with subtle movements.
"Like this." She giggled. She heard a nearby waiter sigh. "C`mon. Dancing isn`t that hard, really."
Seth laughed lightly. "Women." He looked at the waiter that had sighed.
Alice laughed again, and loudly.
"Hey, now. We aren`t that bad." She said in a teasing tone. She looked over towards the waiter, loooking at him under her full eyelashes. He sighed again and leaned against the wall. Alice looked back to Seth, grinning.
Seth grinned back, and looked into her eyes.
"You're so beautiful." He said softly, gentle. " And not because you're a vamp."
Alice smiled and gently squeezed his shoulder.
"Thank you. You don`t know how long I`ve waited to hear that from someone and know that they mean it."
Seth grinned when Waltz of The Flowers came on. Must have been the waiter who suggested it after seeing Seth's pityful dance position.
"Shall we?"
Alice rolled her eyes as the first note came up, and it was flat.
"You know, I didn`t like the guy who wrote this." She mumbled, leading her partner into a simple waltz. She wasn`t hard to follow, after all, her immortal stuffness allowed her to pull him in the right directions.
"Are telling me," he paused to look at his feet, "that you hate this song? I love," another glance, "Tchaikovsky. He's a great composer." Seth sung along to the song, though he didn't have a very musical voice.
Alice smiled.
"Well, after about fity years, the song does get kind of annoying." She said softly so only he would hear. "And Tchaikovsky wasn`t very great once you got to know him."
"But the song is still beautiful no matter how horrible the guy was." Seth pressed. He grinned and decided to leave the subject at that.
"What is your favorite song?" He asked.
The question caught Alice a little off guard. What was her favorite song? She didn`t really have one. In fact, before she met Seth, she didn`t really pay attention to anything.
"Well, I really don`t know. I guess it depends. It`s between Carol of the Bells and Betoven`s Fifth." She said after a moment.
((Oh my cheese. I so just had a blond moment. I can`t spell Betoven.))
((Isn't it Beetoven? I can't spell it either.))
Seth was surprised. and impressed. He always thought Alice was more of a punk rock girl. He really did have a lot to learn.
((I'll be back in a little bit.))
Alice smiled at Seth`s surprise.
"You have to remember that I was raised with classical music, and I hear everything. Most of the newer songs have too many mistakes in them for me."
"I see." He said. Seth was feeling comfortable dancing now. He finally quit glancing at his feet.
Alice nodded slowly, her eyes sweeping the room from over Seth`s shoulder. She absently ran a fingertip over a tendon in his neck, his skin hot against hers.
((Sorry for my monotonous posts. =\ ))
((Its alright. I'm not feeling too good so mine are gonna be lame.))
Seth felt her cold finger on his neck and it gave him shivers. He ran his hand through her hair and smiled.
((Yay for ickyness.))
Alice grinned as Seth shivered. She didn`t mean to, but she did.
"Sorry." She giggled as the song swelled to an end.
Seth chuckled. Her giggle was so adorable.
Alice smiled.
"What?" She asked, tilting her head slightly to the side.
"Its nothing." Seth said simply.
Alice raised an eyebrow.
"Come on, tell me. What is it?" She asked, taking a half-step back as the next step began.
Seth stuck out his tongue. "Excuse me, but you always read my thoughts. You can easily figure this out."
"Only when you scream them at me." She retorted, tapping a finger against his nose.
"I try to give you your privacy. Besides, I`d rather hear it."
His dark eyes went to the spot on his nose that she had touched, making him look briefly almost cross-eyed. Seth looked back at her.
"I was just thinking how adorable your laugh was. That's all." He gently tapped her nose.
((Ugh. Can you think of anybody, BESIDES Ellen Page, that would make and okay PB for Stacey?))
Alice tilted her head, her bright blue eyes staring up to his. She had a burning sort of question, but she was afraid it would make him angry if she asked it. So she didn`t. She just looked away. A more upbeat song had started, and they were just standing there, but she didn`t really care.
((Brittany Snow maybe? Um...I'm not sure. Ellen Page is kick ass. XD))
Seth raised a brow. He could see the questioning look in Alice eyes and see the hesitation in her body language.
"What is it?" He asked carefully.
((Brittany is blond. And Page is perfect, but for the site I`m on, someone already claimed her.))
((You didn't post lol. Is Stacey a brunette? I thought she was blonde.))
((Oh, oops. And YES. Stacey is brunette. Note that Ellen Page is brunette...))
Alice glanced up at Seth, looking into his searching eyes.
"I just... thought of something, but I don`t want to say anything about it. Based on how you`ve reacted before, I`m guessing you`ll be upset, and I want you to be happy." The words spilled out of her before she could stop it. D!mn. How could he do that? When she was around him, she almost acted human.
Seth sighed. "I'm really sorry. I've over reacted a lot and there's no excuse for it." He took her icy hand. "Please tell me. I won't get angry."
((Her? Really?))
Alice squeezed Seth`s hand.
"But you deserve to overreact. I`m a vampire, for God`s sake. You should be terrified of me, but here you are." Her words were quiet, but sharp. She wouldn`t want some wondering ear to overhear.
"Let's go outside." Seth suggested, motioning toward the door. There were too many people here and it was noisy.
((And yes.))
((Kk. But I found this amazing banner for Stacey. Soooo expresses her.))
Alice nodded and quickly pulled Seth towards the door. She pushed the door open and let the cold air hit her in the face. It smelled faintly of alcohol, but she ignored it.
Seth led her to a metal bench a few feet away. The sky had gotten dark so quickly since they had arrived here. He turned to face Alice.
"What is it?" He asked again softly.
Alice took a deep breath, letting all of the different smells fill her.
"Well, earlier you said I looked beautiful, and a minute ago you said my laugh was adorable. I just... wondered if you were amazed by my appearance and the way I sound, or by me." She said softly and carefully. She wished that he wasn`t so perceptive of her. Of course, if she really tried, she could kepp him out, but it took too much effort.
Seth looked away, into the street where people from the dance stood chatting.
Why must she always doubt him?
"Of course its for you Alice." He said sincerly. It was the truth.
"I see you as a human, not a vampire." He looked at her. Yes, she was perfect. From her head to her toes. But that didn't matter. It was about who she was.
Alice looked to the ground, his thoughts again seeming to scream at her. They seemed to be louder when she most wanted to keep them out.
"But I`m not human, Seth. Nothing about me is human. Look at me." She said, looking up to him.
"Look at me. What do you see?" Her voice was even and soft. She wouldn`t let her emmotions slide through this time. Even her tell-tale eyes were blank. She wanted to know what he thought, not what he thought she wanted to hear.
Seth focused his sight on her, but refused to speak. He was afraid that he would get carried away because he was feeling a tiny bit mad.
Finally, he decided to speak, after breaking into her mind with severe concentration.
"I'm not saying what you want to hear. I wish you would stop doubting me Alice." He looked up at the starry sky, slightly frustrated. "I speak the truth. And the things I say have nothing to do with being a...a vampire." The last word came out almost with a sting.
Alice stared at the ground, having felt Seth run feebly through her mind. She automatically detatched herself so that the things she thought really would be private. She hadn`t met anyone who could get past her coldness, but then again, Seth was proving to be a first for everything. She calmly thought about how she would respond, trying to calm herself down. She noticed that she had stopped breathing, but didn`t care. She didn`t have to breathe unless she wanted to talk.
After over a solid minute of silence, she spoke.
"I`m not doubting you, Seth, really. I`m being careful." She looked up into his eyes, brreathing slowly and evenly. "If I wasn`t careful, we would probably be married right now, and you would be wanting blood. You can`t tell me right now that that`s exactly what you want." Her eyes pierced into his, searching for the answer. He hadn`t answered her last question, but she wold get her answer eventually. She was very patient.
"Careful?" Seth repeated the word as if it were some new thing to him.
"How are you being careful? You don't even believe the things I tell you." He leaned forward just a little. "Its called being a gentleman. And its also called love. If I said those things because of your vampire qualities, it would be lust."
Seth looked away after realizing that he had been steadily raising his voice. He put his hand on his forehead for a few seconds before speaking again.
"You know Alice...," he said softly, "love is about sacrifices. I would sacrifice this beating heart for you." He beat his chest with his fist. "I know I go back and forth on that subject, but I would do it in a second. I really would."
Alice continued to stare at Seth, but her eyes had softened. She could tell that her words had hurt him, and despite what he had promised, her was angry with her.
"How have I been carefull? If I wasn`t careful, you would be dead now. All of the blood drained out of you. If I wasn`t careful, you would be unhappy. If I wasn`t careful, you would have to live with my rashness until the end of the world." Her voice had gotten slightly louder as she spoke, and she couldn`t help but feel a little angry. He couldn`t understand how important all of her choices were. How careful she had to be around him. How utterly breakable he was to her. True, she had never show any real force around him, but she could take down concrete buildings if she wanted to. She could have killed him in a thousand different ways. He just didn`t get it.
Seth was so frustrated. He bent his head and rested it on his palms. He listened as she explained just how careful she was. He could hear her thoughts so clearly after unlocking the gate to her mind. Seth wanted it all to stop. He knew what he needed to do.
"Its over Alice." He breathed.
Alice squared her jaw, clenching her teeth together. She tried to push him from her mind, using all of the mentalk force she had.
*Get out of my head.* She hissed in her mind.
"Fine." She said finally, dropping her heavy glare to the ground. "If you think that`s best... But I think you`ll want this back." She rummaged through her small purse for a moment, then pulled out a small box. She held it out, but didn`t let go of it until she finished.
"And in case you didn`t remember, I did say yes."
Then she was just... gone. No trace of her. Seth could Apparate himself home if her needed to. If he wanted it to be over, it would be over. It hadn`t quite hit her yet, but soon enough Alice would be wishing things had gone differently.
Seth took the box, his eyes stuck on its black, leather exterior. And then she was gone. And he felt like his heart had just crumbled. It was his fault of course, but he did it for a reason.
He stood up, his legs suddenly feeling like heavy weights. Seth might as well start walking. His mind was too distracted to apparate.
Seth began to walk, the box now in his pocket. If only she could understand why he broke it off. If only she knew that he wanted to make it easier for her.
Alice was always forcing herself to make certain decisions reguarding him. She always had to control herself around him. She had made so many sacrifices. It just wasn't fair.
Alice`s teeth were clenched tightly together, her eyes cold and unemmotional. All she did was turn the closest corner then scale the wall to the roof. Then she began dashing over the roof tops until she reahced the edge of town. She sat down with her back pressed against a chimney and stared out at the night sky.
She just couldn`t understand Seth. He always did what she least expected him to, and never what seemed to be for his best interest. Didn`t he realize that he life was already gone, and she wanted him to be happy? Living until someone killed you, that was not happy. Watching the world change while you stayed the same-- that was not fun. But watching every single person you knew die, that was horrible. She didn`t want him to go through that pain. She wanted to protect him from the horrors of the world. Wanted to keep him safely tucked under her wing.
But of course, he was a guy, so he waas trying to protect her. They were the one thing that never changed. They always thought they were better and stronger, always tried to protect the weak girls. Alice snorted. She could take care of herself; had been since the eighteen hundreds. With a sigh she ran her hands through her hair, wishing he could just see from her point of view.
Seth had soon reached inside the forest He would take the path to get to Hogwarts. He gracefully transformed into a white wolf, its fur the color of snow. The box had fallen to the ground with a light thud, so the wolf grasped it with its mouth and walked to the largest tree in the forest. It curled up beside it, releasing the box beside him and resting his chin on his paws. His eyes were on the moon.
Seth knew the consequences of being changed, even though he greatly underestimated them. Even though he went back and forth with going through with it, he would change. And then he had an idea.
What if he got someone else to do it?
Alice opened her eyes after a few minutes, and they shifted out from the city. There were trees, lots of them. A small forest, really. Then she saw something else; a person walking out to the trees. Seth. She knew it was him, although she only saw his back. She hopped off the roof and into the shadows. From the forest, he would be almost invisable, and she would be a glowing beacon in the bright moonlight. She watched him transform, gently prying into his thoughts.
NO! She screamed in her mind without noticing. She only knew that she was now in a crounch, her fingers touching the ground and both of her hands curled into talons. He would have heard her, of course, but she didn`t care anymore. He would know that she didn`t leave him completely, just left his sight. She was still there, watchin over him.
But what he had been thinking. It was horrible, unthinkable. She stood up in one fluid motion and balled her fists at her sides. She took a steo forward into the moonlight, her eyes locked on his, even though he was so far away. He knew what was in the box, and he would know that she was there.
The wolf sighed.
No.
If anyone did it, it would have to be Alice. His eyes traveled to the box. His wanted to open it, but he wouldn't. The wolf turned away and closed its eyed, not yet sleeping, but trying to clear his mind.
He didn`t look at her. Not even towards her. Was it possible that he hadn`t heard? Was it possible that he couldn`t sense her standing there, like a beetle on a piece of parchment?
Possibly.
She stepped back into the shadows and stopped breathing. It made her less noticeable and let her think a little better. She observed his thoughts, careful not to push herself into his mind. He had changed his mind. She almost shook with joy. He would know better than to change by someone other than her. Another vampire couldn`t be trusted, and there was her rage to deal with afterwards. She would definatly be fury if her did that to her.
With a tiny smile, she leaned against the house and watched the white wolf, careful not to stare at him.
Suddenly, there was a young man laying on the ground. He rolled over on his back and kept his green eyes on the moon.
"You might as well come out. Your mind was foggy until about five minutes ago." Seth said aloud.
He could only read a persons thoughts if they were close.
"You might as well come out. Your mind was foggy until about five minutes ago."
"You might as well come out. Your mind was foggy until about five minutes ago."
Alice heard the words twice. The first time, when he thought them. They sounded slightly different, his voice not althered by the air waves. The second was his true voice, reaching her ears from at least a hundred yards away. She sighed mentally, not caring if he head or not.
"What good is being a vampire when a human knows everything about you?" She asked a second later, standing a few feet from Seth. She looked down to him, the moon behind her.
'I thought there wasn't anything good about being a vampire.' Seth thought.
He remained staring at the bright, white moon, the light reflecting in his eyes.
"I don't know everything." He said.
Alice looked at the ground for a moment, then sat down on the edge of the shadows, her back covered in moonlight.
"You know everything about me in the present." She stated. "You know what I`m thinking, what I`m feeling. Vampires are supposed to be able to hide that sort of thing from humans. I guess your just special." She rolled her eyes sarcastically.
It actually frustrated her that she couldn`t hide things from Seth. He just saw right through her.
"If it makes you feel any better, I'm done reading your thoughts starting...now." Seth sat up to look at her. The moonlight made her look white, but it was an awe kind of site. A smile formed on his face, but then it was gone.
"Why did you come?" His tone was gentle, calm.
Alice couldn`t stop the softening in her eyes after he said the first sentence. He had been right-- her eyes really did give her away. She took a deep breath, not able to meet his gaze.
"Because. Do you want me to leave? Do you not want to ever see me again? Do you want me to leave you alone for the rest of your life?" She asked, gaining the courage to look at him from under her thick lashes.
"You think I doubt you, but can you really honestly say that you want to live forever?" She asked. "Really, think about it for a minute, and try to do it from my perspective. I`ve been alive for over two hundred years. Every one I knew is long dead. I`ve been hunted most of my existence. Then I find you. You, who seems to know me than anyone-- anything-- else. And then I fall in love with you. I see you, and you`re so full of life, that I can barely stand to be around you. If you were me, would you leave?"
"I never wanted you to leave. I thought I was doing the right thing by breaking up." Seth felt his voice starting to give and coughed.
"No, I wouldn't leave."
Seth picked up the box and stood up.
"I'm not concerned with getting married, but I want you to change me." Seth had never been so serious.
Again, Alice could not look him in the eye.. She pulled up a blade of grass and started ripping it to shreds as she thought.
"No. Marriage is forever and always. If I`m going to change you, we`ll be married first." She looked up to him, her brilliant eyes full of love and honesty. "And are you sure you want to be changed? It`s a big decision, and I want you to think about it."
Seth nodded once. Nothing would change his mind now.
Nothing.
"I've thought about it all day and all night up until now. I'm ready." He even smiled for reassurance.
Alice raised an eyebrow.
"So you`ve thought about it and made a choice, but you didn`t think about what Ithink of it?" She asked accusingly.
Seth shrugged.
"Okay. What do you think about it?" He asked, locking his eyes on hers.
Alice shrugged, too.
"I don`t know." She said honestly, pulling her eyes from his and staring at her perfect hands. "I don`t know. I don`t know if I trust your judgement in this. I don`t know if you really want this. I don`t know if I can... change you." She looked at him once more.
"But I do know that I love you."
((I`ll be back in a few.))
((Kk))
Seth took her hands in his, the icyness making bumps appear on his arms.
"I love you too." He said. "And I believe in you."
((Sorry it took me so long.))
Alice pulled one of her hands away and layed down beside him, closing her eyes.
"I don`t know if I believe in myself." She whispered.
((Seth was standing =P))
Seth stared into the trees, listening to the sounds of the night. There was the flutter of bat wings, the howl of a werewolf, and the very faint rhythmic gallop of a unicorn. It was like music. Forest music. Seth almost started humming, but he looked down at Alice and sat down beside her.
"Why not?" Seth questioned.
((Its okay. Sorry I fell asleep lol.))
Alice sighed and opened her eyes. The moonlight reflected off of them, mirroring them onto a nearby tree.
"Why do you think?" She asked. "The other night, when I was thirsty, it took all I had to not... attack you. When I got up to run, I almost ran right for you. If I can`t control myself when I`m just thristy, how am I supposed to control myself when your blood is actually in my mouth?" Her keen eyes were locked on something far away. She wasn`t going to look at him when she didn`t want to explain. She wanted to scare him a little, make him back off his intentions a little. Make him see from the veiw of the killer.
Seth's eyes were intense as they looked down at her, despite the bright moonlight reflecting from them. He took her hand once again and held it between both of his.
"Listen to me Alice." He still hadn't removed his gaze.
"I trust you." Seth said slowly.
Alice`s free hand clenched into a fists, her sharp nails digging into her white skin. She didn`t move the hand Seth`s held, though.
"I know," She hissed. "That`s part of the problem. You trust me too much. You don`t think I could hurt you, but I could." She paused for a moment. "I`ve thought about killing you more than once, you know that, right? The other night, especially."
((G2G. I'll be back in like 2 hours.))
((Sorry. I was watching Monster's VS Aliens.))
Seth sighed as he released her hand. How could he convince her? He tried and tried. Did she even want him to be a vampire? Seth knew how Alice had seen her loved ones die. He wanted to be there for her through that. Through everything. He wanted to be her companion.
"Then kill me. My blood is yours."
((You confused me with that last line...))
Alice was suddenly sitting up, her eyes locked on his.
"I don`t want to take your life away from you. Can`t you understand that? I want you to live your life. I`m just too selfish to let you." She hissed. "Yes, I want you with me forever," She asnwered, having heard the question in his mind. "But I`m not just going to rip your humanity right out from under you."
((It meant that she could take it for all he cared.))
"I do want to live my life. With you. I know the risks. I know the sacrifices. I'm ready." Seth looked at her.
"And if I really have to, I'll have someone else change me if you won't. I'm not going back on this. I'm not changing my mind."
Alice gently squeezed Seth`s hand, again looking at the ground. Maybe she could put him off, delay all of this...
"Okay." She said softly. "Okay, I`ll do it, you know I will. Just... not right now. You have to let me wait until I`m ready." She looked up at him through her thick eyelashes, begging him to agree without words, just a pleading look.
Seth smiled. That would work. She at least said she would do it.
He embraced her and closed his eyes. "I love you."
Alice leaned forward and brushed the back of her hand across her cheek.
"If I can`t... can`t do it, you have to promise me that you won`t get somebody else to do it." She said softly, looking at his closed eyes. That would be her one condition. But then she thought about it for a second longer...
"And you have to marry me." She added softly, her voice barely a whisper.
Seth's eyes opened at her icy touch, gazing into hers. "Of course." He whispered, his hand traveling through her hair.
A smile was etched on hi face as he leaned forward enough to rest his forehead against hers.
Alice ran a fingertip over his cheekbone, staring into his eyes. Here, in this moment, with his hand in her hair, the moonlight, and warmth radiating from him, she was happy.
"I love you." She said softly, and she knew that she meant it. She knew that she could never watch him die. She knew that deep down, she could have never let him go.
Despite this whole debate over becoming a vampire, Seth was happy.
They were still together in this perfect night, the moon blanketing them in an ivory colored light.
"Now...," his voice was still in a whisper, "would you kiss me?"
The question caught her off guard, even though she could have seen him ask in in his mind before the words came out of his mouth. She looked down for a short moment, not even a second, and then looked back up into his deep, dark eyes.
As an answer, she leaned forward slightly and pressed her lips softly against his, her hand still on his cheek.
Seth pulled away and looked at her.
"Thank you. I thought you would say no for sure." He said, stroking her cheek. The coldness lingered on his lips for a few seconds.
The heat that flooded over her cheek felt so warm and comforting.
"I thought you deserved it. It feels like I`ve said no to everything." She explained softly.
Seth looked down. "You had good reasons to." He said, feeling a little bad.
He kept his hand on her cheek, warming her.
"Tell me about your dream wedding."
Alice looked down at the crook of Seth`s arm and traced random patterns on his skin. His hand on her cheek felt good, familiar. Her skin would eventually rise to be the same as his where he touched her, if his hand stayed therelong enough.
"Why?" She asked softly. "It`s old-fashioned, and I`ve had a long time to work out the details." She smirked.
"Tell me about them." He said, sparked with interest.
Alice sighed and leaned back. She scooted a little farther away, then leaned back and rested her head in his lap so she could lok up at him or the stars. She couldn`t believe that he wanted to hear about her dream wedding.
"Well, ivory, not white. That`s a big thing. And no roses. They remind too much of funerals, which I guess is kind of clichè. Um, no carpet in the church. It`s just so... new. Not traditional. Not very many guests, just close friends and family." She glanced up at him to see what he thought so far.
((G2g.))
Seth stroked her hair as she spoke, listening intently. He chuckled when she said roses reminded her of funerals.
"What about lillies?" He suggested.
He nodded when she looked up at him. "I don't want a lot of guests either. Nothing extravagant. I hate super fancy weddings."
Alice smiled. "Lillies are good. I like tiger lillies." Then it hit her. They were planning a wedding. Their wedding, no less. How that get past her?
She continued, but a little slower. "Extravanganet weddings either say that you`re trying to hard, or you have money." She said softly, her eyes back on the sky.
Seth looked up at the sky as well. The stars here were nothing like at home. Here, they were so bright and were always twinkling. Never dull.
"They just aren't fun. They take away from the meaning of the ceremony." He said.
((OMG! My cat is sleeping and he rolled over on his side and he did it so cutely. Hahahaha.))
Alice`s eyes drifted back to Seth`s, full of wonder.
"Seth," She asked softly, "how can you continue to amaze me? It`s not natural. I should know everything about you. What your thinking, what your next move will be. But I don`t. Everything you do is against human nature."
The question kind of surprised him. Was he really that different?
Seth merely smiled, his expression soft. "I'm special." That was the only answer he could give.
A smile spread across Alice`s face again.
"You are special. You would have to be special for me to notice you. You`ve been special since I met you." His fingers were still in her hair, but she didn`t mind. She just let his scent wash over her.
"Of all people to notice..." Seth muttered. Seth was just some guy. There really wasn't anything interesting about him.
Alice`s smile widened as she read the rest of his sentence in his mind.
"You know, I don`t exactly have everything figured out, either."
Seth grinned and leaned back, his hands supporting him on the ground.
"Its getting late." He said, noticing how high the moon was.
The moon told her that it was about ten.
"Yeah. You tired?" She asked. She would take him back if he wanted to, but she didn`t have a problem with staying. She didn`t have to sleep, and she didn`t really have to go to her classes, either.
"Not really." Seth said. "I've got a free period in the morning anyway." He looked down at her.
"So what are ya thinkin' about?" He asked curiously.
Why did he have to ask that question? One of the only questions she wasn`t ready to answer. She could lie, of course, but she had promised herself that she wouldn`t lie to him. Besides, he could probably read the answer in her better than she could. She could twist the truth. That wasn`t lying, exactly, but still...
"You. Me. Us." She asnwered simply. She sat up and smoothed her pink skirt down. It looked washed out in the moonlight.
Seth raised a brow. What about them exactly? He wouldn't ask. He didn't need to prod.
"Ah. Okay."
Alice rolled her eyes, a human gesture. She could so tell that he wanted to know more. Her back was to him, so he couldn`t see her expressions, but she could read his all too easily.
"Well, you basically tricked me into talking about my dream wedding, and I`m not doubting that you`ll do your best to make ours as close to that as possible. Tonight, we`ve gone from being on the tip of the knife, to falling off, and back to being fine. Your mood swings are getting me confused." She shrugged, not thinking that she needed to go on.
"I'm sorry. You don't think I'm confused too? I'm not trying to be moody." Seth's tone was calm, but he was kinda hurt. Maybe he had a problem..
"I didn't trick you so I don't understand where you got that from. I was wondering what you imagined your wedding to be since every girl has an idea for her wedding."
He stopped talking after that, ending with an aggravated sigh.
Alice sighed, too, and turned around her face him, her knees in the cold, hard ground.
"Seth, do you know how absolutely confusing you are to me? I can`t read you, but you can read me. I`m not supposed to give you a second glance, and here I am, making plans to make you one of me. Vampires aren`t supposed to get married and have happy endings. We`re built to suffer and kill for the rest of eternity. Do you know how confused I am?"
Seth just looked at her.
"And who said that? Is it written in stone that you can't be happy?"
Alice stared into Seth`s eyes, searching for something. She didn`t know what it was, but it could have been understanding. It was a long moment before she talked again.
"Have you ever heard a fairy-tale where the vampire was the lucky one? Have you ever heard anything good about us? Have you ever found a story about us not killing or be killed?" Her voiced caught in her throat, one of the very few weaknesses she could show.
Seth frowned. They were getting upset about this stuff a lot. He really wasn't trying to hurt her or upset her.
"No. I haven't." He said quietly. "But that doesn't mean anything."
Alice looked down at the ground, trying to calm herself down.
"It means a lot more than you may think." She said softly. Even though her words were barely audible, they had an edge to them.
Seth didn't say anything. He laid back on the ground and stared up at stars almost looking to them for guidance.
He looked so beautiful just then, with the moonlight sharpening all of his features. His hair looked the deepest black, and his skin looked white. Just as white as hers. She layed down beside him so her arm pressed against his. She was right; their skin colors matched, even if their temperatures didn`t. Alice closed her eyes and took a deep breath, breathing in his scent. He smelled familiar. So, so familiar and wonderful. The overall smell of his skin mixed with the smell of his blood. He smelled really good, she noticed. So good that she rolled onto her side so her nose touched his arm.
So many veins so close to her. All she would have to do was sink her teeth into his soft skin. That`s all it took. Then the--
No!
She realized that she was sitting up, and she didn`t remember doing so, or even thinking about sitting up. It had been an automatic action to protect the one she loved. The one she loved. Alice tunred her head around slowly to see Seth`s reaction to her motion. What she couldn`t see was that her eyes were almost black with thirst.
Seth was so distracted by the stars that he didn't notice Alice lay beside him. His mind was racing with a ton of thoughts. When she sat up though, he fell out of his trance.
"Are you alright?" He asked as he sat up too. He nticed her black eyes.
Alice shuddered and looked away, ashamed at her weakness and inability to control herself around him.
"Sure. Fine." She said, but it came out too fast to be sound true. Even a vampire could make careless mistakes like that. Normally she could lie to anyone, but for some reason Seth was different.
Seth stood up, taking a step back to give her room.
"Should I go?" He asked in a gentle tone, looking down at her. Even with eyes so dark and bloodthirsty, she was amazingly beautiful.
Alice stood up, too, but took a few steps away from him. A slow wind was blowing and she breathed in the scent of the woods.
"No. I`ll be fine." This time she meant it. The breeze helped, and while her eyes wouldn`t lighten until she fed again, she would be fine for now. Just as long as she didn`t think about his... about the smell of his blood.
"What do you want to do? I don`t want to stay here." She asked suddenly, closing her eyes against the wind.
"Whatever you want." Seth said. "Anything." He wanted to hold her, tell her he was sorry. He shouldn't have asked those questions. He looked up at the sky.
"If you want to go feed, I'll wait for you."
((OMG. The dance team should dance to the Phantom Overture. XD I had to tell somebody. XD XD XD ))
Did she need to feed? She didn`t think so. If the sensation she had a few moments ago was still present, should would have to feed/ But it had passed. Did he know how close she had been to sinking her lethal teeth into his arm?
"No. You don`t have to wait on me. And please just pick something-- somewhere. I can`t." That wasn`t exactly true, but she didn`t think that he would push her.
Seth stared at her for a moment, trying to understand what was going on. A sigh had escaped his lips before he spoke.
"Common Room?" Seth suggested.
"Sure." Alice replied. Before he could change his mind she was right in front of him, her hands on his shoulders. She remembered her coat still at the dance place, but she didn`t care.
After a stomach-wrenching moment that felt as if the ground had split from under her and was sucking her down to hell, she landed in the common room, her hands still on his shoulders. Her eyes were on his, but nothing except interest showed through.
Seth smiled and walked to the fireplace, pointing his wand at the center and causing a fire to erupt immedietely in the pit. He then grabbed a Ravenclaw quilt from his bed and led her to the biggest couch, sitting down and laying the quilt over them.
Alice curled up under the blanket, not needing its warmth, but getting under it nonetheless. Seth wanted her to, and so she did. She rested her arm on side of the counch, staring into the flames.
"What were thinking about just then?" She asked, trusting him to know when she was talking about. She might look calm on the outside, but she was freaking out on the inside.
Seth shrugged, his eyes on her.
"I guess about what you wanted. What you needed."
About whether she would bite him or if she needed blood. He was calm inside for once.
Alice sighed softly and turned to face him.
"How can you sit there so calmly while talking about your death?" She asked. She wasn`t trying to make him mad, but she had to know. It wasn`t natural for him to be here with her.
"While I am just some guy, I'm not like everyone else. I learn to accept things." Seth was staring at the fire now, its flame casting a yellowish glow upon their faces.
Alice continued to stare at Seth, and her hair wondered over to his ear. She traced the top of it with a chilly fingertip then moved it to the back of his neck. His skin was hot against hers, as it always was. The temperature difference never seemed to be a problem, but right now she wished more than ever that she was human.
With that thought, she leaned closer to him, turning his head with her palm, and kissed him softly.
Seth was surprised that Alice had kissed her, being that his blood was so...well, she had been thirsty for it. But he closed his eyes anyway, an automatic action. He kissed her back, just as softly as she had done, though he still was a little confused.
Alice grinned and pulled away.
"I`m sorry." She apologized. "I just... I just wanted that." She said softly, looking back at the fire. If she could have blushed, she knew she would have been.
Seth grinned too. "Would it be wrong to say that I'm glad you did?"
Was it? She didn`t know how to answer. She had started it, and had liked it. So she couldn`t blame him.
"No." She finally said, tilting her head to the side. Her hand found his under the blanket. "I guess I needed to do that. I thought it`s make you feel better."
Seth looked away. Nothing was wrong with him. He was fine. He didn't need a kiss to make him feel better anyhow.
Seth squeezed her hand and gave her a smile. "Yeah, it did." He lied.
The way he looked away before replying, the way his eyes had tightened, even his smell. He was lying, and Alice knew it. Her instincts and senses were screaming at her. It was so obvious when he lied, just like it was for every human.
Alice looked up at him and into his dark eyes. God, he couldn`t even look at her. Didn`t he know that it was pointless to lie to her?
"Seth, you don`t have to lie to make me feel better." She said softly, dropping her eyes to their entwined hands. "You know that I can tell, and it just makes me think that I`m not worth the truth." Okay, that wasn`t exactly true, but it did make her frustrated with him.
Seth sighed loudly and fell back against the couch, staring at the ceiling.
"Sorry." He said. "You read me like a book."
He pulled her closer to him. "You are worth the truth."
Alice rested her head on his shoulder, his pulse thudding in her ear.
"I know, just... don`t lie to me, okay?" She asked quickly, trying to cover up her own lie.
Seth didn't reply. He just watched the dancing flames. "Look at us. Our attitudes are off. We haven't gotten along like we used to." Seth was angry, but not at Alice. He was so angry at himself.
Alice`s eyes flickered to their hands, unable to see his eyes. How was she supposed to reply to that?
"Well, you`re not exactly supposed to like me. You`re supposed to be repulsed by me and afraid at my touch, and here we are, snuggled up against each other and holding hands. I`m suprised I havent scared you off yet. And part of it`s probably because you smell so good; its not fair." She pretended to pout.
Seth squeezed her hand again. "You're beautiful, I love your touch, and to scare me off would just be...impossible."
She had to fight the urge to roll her eyes.
"Yeah, I know. I tried that before, and looked where we ended up." She waved her free hand over them, indicating the way their bodies were pressed against each other. "And I`m beautiful because I was made to be that way, as I`ve told you before. Somehow that manages to sink in, too." Her tone was teasing, but the words had a little edge in her mind.
Seth chuckled as she waved her hand over them. She had a point.
"I told you like a thousand times that being a vampire has nothing to do with your beauty." Seth said a little too seriously.
Alice sighed and rested her hand over their hands that were already entwined.
"I know," She replied, "I just want to make sure..." She couldn`t finish, and she didn`t know how to finish. "I love you. I really do, I just wish I could be sure..." Again, she couldn`t finish. Who would have thought that someone with two-hundred years of vocabulary would be at a loss for words.
Seth's eyes found hers. His dark green searching her brilliant blue eyes for something to stop the confusion that just hit him.
"Make sure of...what?" He asked slowly.
Alice slowly looked up, her mind racing to find a way to finish.
"To make sure that you`re right. To make sure that you`re ready for this. To make sure that you`re not going to change your mind when this is all over." She said softly and slowly, letting ehr words sink in.
"Well, there's no going back once its done. Its irreversible." Seth's voice was just as soft. "I'm ready."
"No, you`re not." Alice replied firmly. "You said so yourself the other night. If you were a vampire, you would be giving up your life. You would be giving up warmth and sunlight. You would be giving up your wolf." She knew that that was a weak spot of his; he had given in under that thought last night.
"Well, I've thought really hard over it. I really have." Seth furrowed his brows as he turned to face her. "Those things...they really don't matter. What matters is you. I'm willing to become a vampire." Seth took her hand and spoke every next syllable slowly. "I'm ready to become a vampire."
Alice looked Seth in the eye, her own not as light as they should be for just feeding earlier that day. She slowly lifted her cold hand and rested it on his cheek. Then she carefully ran her thumb along his bottom lip.
"You`re telling me that right now, at this very instant, you`re ready to change." She didn`t beilieve him, she really didn`t. There was just... something inside her that told her that this wasn`t right. It could have been that part of her that longed to rip open his neck with her teeth and drink from him, but she couldn`t be sure, and she just ignored the feeling.
Seth's eyes followed her hand as she went to touch his face, and then traveled back to her eyes, not as bright as before.
"Yes." He said, enunciating the word.
Alice looked down and adjusted herself so that she was sitting on her knees. When her eyes met his again, they were a slight shade darker. The smell of him so close... and she could feel his pulse under her fingertips. He didn`t seem afraid, though, and he seemed like he wanted this. Her mind worked quickly to think of something to say...
She leaned forward onto her knees until she was close to him, the heat from his mortal body seeming to roll off of him in waves. Her lips brushed his lightly, then pressed a little harder. Her hand was still on his cheek, but she lowered it to the side of his neck. His skin seemed so hot there, like he had a high fever.
"Hold still." Alice murmured, letting her lips drift down to his neck. She hesitated, her mind still turning over different possibilities and situations. But then her lips were there, against his neck, parting. She realized with a shock that two of her teeth had grown into fangs-- fangs with deadly sharp points. They hadn`t sharpened since the last she almost attacked a human.
For their blood.
Alice moaned softly, the memory of the taste of human blood so clear in her mind. Funny how the thing she had tried to push down came back just like that. Another disadvantage at being immortal-- you never forget anything. The smell of Seth`s blood so close to her. The scent overwhelmed her, made her want to forget that she didn`t want to be a monster.
And just like that, she was one the other side of the room, crouching down with her arms wrapped around her knees. Her eyes were wide and black now, and her side was pressed against the wall. She wasn`t breathing, either. No, breathing would bring that scent back to her. The smell of his blood. The smell of that poison that every being needed to live.
"I can`t do it." She choaked, careful not to inhale when she spoke. Little did he know that she had done just what she had hoped she would. She wasn`t going to turn him here, obviously, and one of her only conditions was to marry him first. How could he have forgotten that so easily? He didn`t even have a ring to give her; the one he had tried to gove her before was tucked up in her trunk int he dormitory. But he wouldn`t see that. He would see a vampire, with fangs out, that had almost lost herself just with the smell of a little blood. She hadn`t even smelled his blood directly, but that would be too much. She thirtsed for his blood enough, she didn`t need it to be waved in front of her for her to go crazy. A small part of her couldn`t believe that she had gotten that close. She knew that she wasn`t going to change him here, and definatly not now. But it had been a close call, even if he didn`t know it.
Seth sat still, but relaxed. Alice's voice was so soothing. He felt her lips of ice make contact with his fire. The effect was bliss. He was going to kiss her back but her lips had fallen to his neck. Her cold breath making him shiver.
He tensed as she said "hold still", preparing himself for what would be coming next. He closed his eyes, inhaled, but when he exhaled she was on the other side of the room.
Seth looked down, sighing. She was so close to doing it.
((Sorry.))
"I`m sorry." She said. Her voice was rough, like she had swallowed sandpaper. She leaned her head against the wall and closed her eyes, hoping her couldn`t see the relief she felt inside. He had said so himself that her eyes gave everything up, but they couldn`t if they were closed. Her whole body was tense, and if she had been a human, her nails would have left some really bad marks on her from digging them into her leg.
Seth looked at her. He wasn't angry, just...he really felt bad for making her go through that. He slowly stood up and walked to the portrait, leaving the common room so Alice wouldn't have to smell the blood so closely.
Alice was partially glad that he left. If he wasn`t there, he could`t see ther elief that flodded across her face. He couldn`t see the guilt in her eyes at making him think that she would actually change him right then. But more importantly, he wouldn`t see the disappointment in herself that came with getting so close to losing herself.
The other part of her was a little miffed that he had just left. He hadn`t said anything to her. Didn`t ask if she was okay. Didn`t wave goodbye. Didn`t even hardly look at her. She stood up, a small frown on her face. The room suddenly seemed large and empty. So she went upstairs to her dormitory. She didn`t want to, but she knew that she would eventually seek out the diamond ring that he had thrown away.
Seth walked to a window and rested his arms on the stone ledge. The sky was dark, but the moon was out, shaped like a crescent.
Was she angry at him for leaving? Was she glad? Seth was so unsure. He sat down against the wall and pulled up his and laying his head on his arms. He sat like that for an hour until he finally just fell asleep.
((Want to skip ahead to some other time?))
((Do whatever you want.))
((Grr.))
Why was the forest always the safe-haven? Why was it`s cool darkness always what soothed her nerves? Why did it`s eerie danger seem like a little speck on the story of her life?
Alice didn`t have the answers to these questions, but instead came up with more and more philosphical things she could ponder. She thought of everything-- trees and plants, Muggles, even food that no longer tasted good-- and brought back old memories. She tried to think back to when she was human, but most of her thoughts consisted of the pain of changing. She could barely remember her parents or friends. She couldn`t remember what her favorite color was or what she liked to wear. All of those things became unimportant details once you lived long enough. But was it living? That was one of two things she didn`t think about. The other was Seth.
She knew that if she thought of him, she wouldn`t stop. She knew that she would become sad, or angry, at whatever memory she recalled. Nothing seemed to be happy anymore. It was all just grey. That was why she was here, perched in one of the highest branches of a tall tree. There weren`t very many things that would cross her path from her, and she could see everything. The stars were sharp against the night sky, and the moon loomed largely overhead.
It seemed peaceful, for once. Not much could change the night sky. It had a certain quality that made it seem different from everything else. It made you forget yourself, and where you were. It made you think about the other planets and the rest of the universe. It made you feel small.
And that was why it made her think of him. He made her feel small again, human, just like the night sky.
"Hey Kid, you had better get up before someone catches you outbof your dormitory."
Seth sat up abruptly, not realizing that he had been sleeping for a short time. He saw a ghost walking past him, just a silvery/clear blur as his eyes adjusted.
He stood up. Was Alice still in the dormitory? He needed to talk to her. He hadn't even told her goodnight. But then he knew. She would be in the forest. It was her place of calming.
Seth transfigured into the snowy white wolf and bolted to the entrance closest to the forest, his feet moving so fast, they were barely audible.
He pushed the large oak doors open and ran to the forest. Within ten minutes, he was already inside the dark depths, rushing past trees and beasts of the night, trying to find her scent.
The scent of wolf grew stronger, disturbing her thoughts. She tried to push it away, dismiss it as a werewolf, but the smell persisted on. She knew it was him. It had to be him. Only he would come out her to find her, and besides, she could smell his blood from way up in the tree. Why did he have to smell so good? Not even his blood, but he smelled good. His essence.
His sighed silently, glancing down. She couldn`t see him, but she knew that he could see her if he looked up. She wasn`t exactly hidden, and the moonlight on her pale skin kind of gave her away. So she stood up, carefully leaning into the shadows.
There was too much in the air to track Alice, so Seth transformed into his human self to look.
He glanced everywhere, but didn't see her. So he kept moving.
Alice barred her teeth and ran silently across her branch and jumped onto the next. It was a very small chance that he would hear her, but he might. She strongly doubted it, but he had always been a first.
Seth heard a small noise, but assumed it was the sound of some nocturnal creature. He sighed and walked on, finally taking out his wand to light the way when the moon was no longer visable.
"Alice?" He called.
Alice froze as he said her name, but sighed. How did he know it was her? How could he tell?
It didn`t exactly matter.
She jumped out of the tree and landed square in front of Seth, less than a foot from him.
"Wow, that was..er...quick." Seth said as he lowered his wand to his side.
"I'm sorry I left." He blurted out. "I thought it would be easier."
A small part of Alice`s heart felt like it was melting.
"It`s okay." She replied softly, looking at the ground. "I... I`m sorry." She said, only half-way meaning it.
((You`re staff.))
Seth smiled. "Its alright." He looked at the ground, not really sure what to do.
Alice was still for a moment, then held out her hand.
"No, it`s not. You.. you don`t know what I was thinking when... in there." She said quietly.
"Why don't you tell me?" Seth suggested as he took her hand in his.
Alice clenched her teeth together, letting the memory come back to her, even though she didn`t want it to.
"I thought... I thought I was going to lose myself. I was thirsty, and I didn`t think I`d be abl to stop." She paused, eyes closed. "You don`t even know how I`d make you a vampire. You don`t know if it`d hurt, or how easy it. You don`t know anything."
Seth dropped her hand. "Don't worry about me." He said. "I'd be fine." How could she say he didn't know anything?
Alice took a step back, looking up at him.
"How do you know?" She asked harshly. "I haven`t had human blood in almost two hundred years. How do you know that once your blood passed my lips that I wouldn`t go crazy with the taste. How do you know that I`d be able to stop? How can you rtrust me enough to know that I wouldn`t kill you?" She asked. Without waiting for an answer, she shook her head and turned, walking away at a very human pace.
"If all you're going to do is doubt me and my trust, then I'm done." Seth said, shoving his wand into his pocket. He turned and started walking away.
Alice growled, and that surprised her. It seemed that Seth brought out the animal side of her.
"Why do you think I doubt you?" She asked now. "I`m trying to do the right thing, and not ruin your life, and all you can do is think I`m doubting you. Don`t you think I know that you love me? Don`t you think I can hear your heatbeat, and how it picks up when I`m close to you? I`m not stupid, Seth, but you make me feel like I am sometimes. I`m not doubting you, but I don`t want you to throw your mortality away from something you may not want. Why can`t you see that?"
Seth turned around slowly. "How do I make you feel stupid?" His anger was starting to show. "Yeah. I do see what you're trying to do. I'm grateful that you don't want to take away my mortality, but I know what's going to happen. I know I'll face a lot of pain, physically and emotionally. I know nothing will be the same. I'll have to give up a lot." Seth leaned against a tree, looking down.
"But dammit I'm willing to go through that because I'm in love with you."
Seth looked up into her eyes, though they were several feet away, her eyes were just as brilliant as they were up close.
Alice looked up slowly, not realizing that she had dropped them when he had started talking. She no longer felt angry, for some reason. She felt empty. And for the first time in over two hundred years, she felt cold. She closed the space between them, taking long and slow steps. When she was right in front of him, she reached out and took his hand in both of hers.
"I love you, Seth. You don`t know how much. I`ve waited a long time for you, and I`m not going to give you up." She looked up into his dark green eyes. "I love you so, so much," She started slowly, "but I refuse to do something you`re not sure about. Don`t get angry, listen. Close your eyes, and think about it.
"There you are in the early eighteen hundreds, at the prime of your life with a wealthy family. Everyone envies you because you have anything you could ever want. Then on night, a night when you were perfectly happy, a handsome man lures you away from safety, and attacks you. You wake up days later, wanting something you`ve never wanted before. You find out that you`re a vampire, and your world shatters. You disappear into a forest so you can hunt without hurting anyone. Time doesn`t matter anymore, only blood matters. Then one night a memory comes back to you, and you venture back to your old home to check in on your family. And you find that their all dead. Everyone you knew and loved is dead.
"Can you imagine the pain of going through that? And to make things worse, humans had discovered you, and were trying to hunt you. Again, you were ripped from everything you knew so you could stay alive." Her voice was soft when she started, and barely audible when she stopped. She had closed her eyes, picturing all too clearly her long history.
"Now, come back to now, here with me. Pretend you were in my shoes. Pretend that you had gone through all of that, and met someone. Pretty soon you discover that you love that person, truely love them. What would you do?"
Seth's eyes fell once he had finished imagining.
"I'd want what's best for them." His voice was almost mute. He didn't want to say it, but that was the truth. His lips were pressed together to keep from saying anything more.
Alice took a half-step forward and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head on his chest.
"Now you understand. I... I can`t lose you. Now you see why I`m so careful with you." She wanted him to finish what he was going to say. She wanted him to understand the bitter truth.
Seth kissed the top of her head and wrapped his arms around her. His eyes stared up into the starry sky.
Alice swallowed, opening her eyes to stare into the darkness.
"You don`t know how hard it is." She said softly. "How hard just being here with you is, then... earlier... it just seemed impossible." She squeezed her eyes closed.
Seth pulled away slowly so that both of his hands were on her shoulders.
"Look at me." He said softly.
"We can't keep doing this. We keep going back and forth, back and forth on this whole subject. We argue, then we're alright for a little while. Even after I told you that I made up my mind and will not change it."
Alice looked up into his eyes, but dropped them again.
"I know, and I`m sorry. I just... I know that I could never let you go, not now. But because of what I`ve gone through, I can`t just let you die-- whether the cause of death is human or immortal. I`m not going to change you unless you`re really sure. I can`t... I can`t... I don`t know if I could go through that-- if you changed your mind... I know you said that you won`t, but you can change your mind. You may decide that you don`t want to be a monster." Her voice caught in her throat again, and she stared at the ground.
Seth pulled her close, back into an embrace. "I promise you, I won't change my mind. I promise." Seth had made up his mind for sure. He was not going back now. His lips were suddenly upon hers, gentle and soft like always.
The kiss surprised her, and she hesitated before kissing him back. But when she did, she lifted her hand to his cheek, closing her eyes and leaning closer to him.
Seth's put his hand on top of hers as he slowly leaned back only a little.
"Change me Alice. I trust you. You can do it." His tone wasn't begging nor demanding but soft.
Alice squeezed Seth`s fingers, staring up into his eyes. Her lips burned with the heat from his lips, and the air seemed chilly without his touch.
"I can`t Seth, I won`t. Not until we`re married. I told you that and I`m not changing my mind."
Seth sighed loudly rolling his eyes. "Why do you want to get married first? You turned me down anyway. Not to mention the fact that I threw away the ring and I'm not buying another one."
Alice flexed her fingers against his cheek, looking to the ground and stuffing her other hand into her pocket. Her fingers wrapped around the ring in her pocket. It was as cold as her skin, having no chance to warm up.
"You seem to have forgotten, but I did say yes when you asked me. And..." She slowly pulled her fist from her pocket, the ring not visable. "I couldn`t just leave it there." She knew that he would know what it was.
"And then you said no." Seth said, his eyes falling to her fist.
So she had it.
"Why couldn't you just leave it?"
Alice stared at the ground.
"I don`t know, Seth, I just couldn`t. Seeing you throw it away like that," she shook her head, "I just couldn`t let you do that." She held it out. "I want you to take this back, and ask me again when you`re ready to. I already know what my answer will be." She looked up at him, her eyes shining with truth and love. She couldn`t hide the fact that she loved him, even if it was in a twisted way.
"And if I said I were ready now?" Seth questioned quietly once he took the ring from her hand.
Alice stared at him for a moment, really looking. She could see all of the little imperfections on his face, but she didn`t care. Her eyes ran over the line of is nose, his cheekbones, his lips. This wasn`t a face she wanted to live without.
"Then you`ll know what my answer is, too." She finally breathed.
Seth tilted his head to the side. "Do you want to wait? Do you want it to be a longer engagement?" He wasn't sure what she wanted.
((Its sad that Sky, Jason, Alice, and Seth are dating because nobody else ever gets on.))
((Yurp.))
Alice chewed the inside of her cheek for a moment, thinking.
"I`m ready for you to ask, if that`s what your mean. And... it won`t be a six-month engagement, I`ll tell you that." She said, her voice trailing off in a way that could suggest more than one thing.
"What do you mean?" Seth a ked when she said it wouldn't be a six month engagement.
"Well, there`s... all of the preperations. And I want to tell you some things. About me." She said, watching him carefully.
"Okay." Seth said slowly, nodding. He smiled and kissed her cheek. "I love you."
Alice smiled.
"I love you, too, even if I don`t act like it sometimes." She slipped her hand into his, looking up into the night sky.
"I'm sorry that I'm an ass." Seth replied, staring up at the sky.
"It`s okay. I`m sure I`m not always so nice, either." She said softly, squeezing his fingers.
"I can`t imagine how frustrated I can make you."
Seth smiled. "You can make me pretty frustrated." He said teasingly.
Alice stepped closer to him and slowly ran her fingers through his hair.
"I`m sorry for that, you know. I didn`t mean to... to change my mind like that. I never meant to hurt you." She whispered.
Seth put his arm around her. "Don't worry about it." He said. He continued to stare at the sky, mesmerized by the stars.
((My eyes are burning....))
((Why?))
Alice looked up at him, then at the stars.
"They never change, you know. Two hundred years, and they`re still the same."
((I had shampoo in my eyes earlier, then rubbing alcohol fumes.))
"What was it like two hundred years ago?" Seth asked. "And what were the things you wanted to tell me about you?"
Alice smiled fainty, her eyes sparkling with the memory of the past.
"It was beautiful. Everyone pledged their love to you publicly, and gossip was on everyone`s mind. Everything seems so primitive to the way things are now. Buildings and houses were so extragant and expensive." She shook her head. "I don`t know. It was a different time then. And I wanted to tell you about my past, about who I used to be. You don`t really know much about me, and I don`t think that`s right."
"You're right. We both have a lot to share with each other." Seth brought his eyes to the trees of the forest.
"Would you like to meet me at the quidditch pitch tomorrow night? We could talk during the game." Seth asked suddenly, turning towards her.
Alice watched him for a moment, thinking slowly.
"No. I`d like to show you some things, too, things I can`t show you in the Quidditch stands."
((Isn't it past your bedtime? =P))
"Okay." Seth said slowly. He was now intrigued. "What kind of things could you possibly be hiding?"
((Shh. I also have a two liter of Pepsi hidden. O.O I`m not `sposed to have it during the week for known reasons. XD ))
"You`ll see." Alice teased, running her fingers through his hair again. "What can I hide from you? You know that I`ve killed people and the sunlight makes me moody, what else is there to know?"
Seth shrugged.
"Did you know that I'm part cannibal? I sometimes eat people."
Alice rolled her eyes.
"Compared to me, you`re not a cannible. You`re a nice little doggie that bit someone."
"I was only kidding anyway." He said. Seth looked at her, batting his lashes.
"But I'm a cute doggie...right?"
Alice laughed and pushed Seth`s hair into his eyes.
"Sure thing. Cutest dog I`ve ever seen." She teased, squeezing his hand.
Seth laughed and fixed his hair, a grin on his face.
Seth kissed her hand. "I've got to go to bed. If I'm late again to History of Magic, I'll fail the semester."
Alice nodded, squeezing his hand.
"Okay. How about I see you on Friday right after classes? I want us to go up into the mountains."
"Sure thing." He hugged her, whispering "Goodnight" in her ear. Then he ran off, turning into a white wolf mid stride.
"Bye." She whispered as Seth ran. She stood there for a while after that, watching the place where he had disappeared.
~~~
It had been a long, slow week full of useless classes. I don`t know how the others stand it. Alice thought, rolling her eyes as she passed through the trees. D*mn humans don`t know how to teach anything new. She carefully ran her hands over her shirt. She had quickly changed out of her school attire. A plain button-up shirt had been replaced by a dark grey shirt with long sleeves that covered most of her skin. She had traded her skirt for an old pair of jeans.
The air smelled crisp, clean. There was a faint scent of wolf, and she could tell that it was Seth`s smell left over from the past weekend. He wasn`t there yet, she knew. There was no new smell that gave him away.
Seth stood in the boy's restroom, just having changed after a hot shower. He had herbology before this and had gotten dirty. He slipped on a black zip up hoodie over his white wife beater. Then he put on his old running shoes, pulling the ends of his gray sweatpants over the top.
"Okay." Seth breathed. He exited the restroom and made his way to the mountains at a slow jog.
((Do you want him to run all the way up the mountain or do you want them to meet and have her take him?))
Alice paused, lifting her head to smell the air. Closing her eyes, she half-turned. She smelled something, an animal, but it wasn`t wolf. She opened her black eyes, and squeezed her hands into fists. She would have time to eat before she met Seth, and she would need the blood anyway.
((She never specified where on the mountain, so I gues she could find him. The person in your third pic has huuuuge hands.))
Seth pulled up his sleeves as he jogged, not even breaking a sweat. He inhaled deeply and exhaled in a rhythm customized for his own body. He had no idea where he was going, Alice didn't say which nor where on the mountain.
((I know. Hehe. It`s Aiden`s hand. =D ))
Turned out the animal was a deer. It was good, anyway. Alice`s eyes were their brilliant blue that would reflect any light. She closed her eyes, listening. Distantly, she could hear something running. Their breath, their footsteps. Seth. Before she could even think of anything else, she was already running in the direction of the sound, running at keast four times as fast as him.
Seth had started to slow down, looking around. He was close to the mountain paths. Just then he saw Alice running in his direction. "Hello." He said pleasantly with a wave.
Alice slowed, then stopped suddenly just a foot from Seth.
"Hi." She greeted cheerily.
"How are you today?" He asked, his eyes staring into hers.
((Yay 2 lines!))
Alice nodded, putting her weight on one foot.
"Okay, I guess. Class was agonizing, but I dealt with it."
"Yeah, herbology isn't exactly fun when you're dealing with dragon dung fertilizer...." Seth grinned and looked up at the mountains.
"Shall we?"
Alice smiled now.
"Sure. You are scared to go fast? Are you?" Without waiting for an answer she lunged forward, taking Seth`s arm and swinging hi over onto her back as if he weighed no more than a small child.
"Woah!" Seth exclaimed as he was pulled onto her back. He couldn't even see what they were passing because they were moving so fast. It was all blurry.
Alice laughed, slowly down just a tiny bit.
"You might get dizzy, but I won`t drop you." She teased.
((You totally pulled an Edward.))
"I trust you." Seth said quietly. He was getting dizzy. But at the same time, this was kinda fun.
((I though about saying 'hold on tight, spider monkey.' XD ))
"Just close your eyes if you get too dizzy." She said softly, speeding up again. The trees blurred by so quickly that they looked like one big blur. She was weaving back and forth, and going uphill, but it felt like she was just going straight.
"Can all vampires run like this?" Seth asked, closing his right eye.
Alice laughed.
"Yeah. I`m a little faster than some, lighter. I`m older, too. You kind of perfect this kind of thing after a while." She said without thinking. "Why?" She suddenly asked.
"Just a thought." Seth replied, opening his eye again. "With all of these negatives, what are the positives of being one? Any special quirks? Powers?"
((Have you seen New Moon yet?))
Alice chewed the inside of her lip for a moment.
"When you run like this, it feels like you`re flying. All of your senses are heightened to extremes. Sometimes you gain special powers unique to yourself. Sometimes you get some extra wizard powers. You may have venom or not-- I don`t." She shrugged, still running.
((Nope.))
"Did you get a unique power?" Seth asked. "And without venom, you can't change me...can you?"
Seth wondered why he was asking so many questions, but he was curious.
((Ugh. They made his shirt the wrong color at the end!))
"I didn`t really get a special power, no. And the venom... you don`t need that to change someone. It just... kills faster."
"Oh." Seth sucked in a deep breath of the brisk mountain air. No more questions.
((Pikachu is so cuteee.))
Alice slowly stopped at the edge of a set of trees. They were high up now, and there was a small ledge nearby. Alice carefully dropped Seth and walked towards it, sitting on the unever rock.
((I have to go at midnight. Stupid time.))
Seth walked over to the ledge, sitting near it, but not on the very edge. Being this high triggered a fear Seth never knew he had.
((Whyyyyy?????))
"I`d catch you if you fell." Alice said softly. "You`re not going to get hurt today unless you try something really stupid." She looked at him and smirked, but it soon disappeared and she looked away.
"You asked me how I could change you without venom. You don`t need venom to become a vampire. I would have to... to feed from you, but not drain you completely, then give you some of my blood. Your first meal is always from your sire." She said slowly, looking out into the grey sky.
"I see." Seth said slowly. Then he grinned. "Well that doesn't sound so painful."
He unzipped his hoodie and took it off with one swift motion, throwing it to the side. The wife beater((Love that name.)) showed of nearly every detail of the muscles on his body. He leaned back, his weight on his arms. He was warm up here and liked the breeze on his skin.
Alice winced.
"It is painful. Th vampire blood, it takes over your body, and the process for it to do that... well, it hurts. But... what the person`s reaction is is based on how they`re bitten. I was... I was taken to be killed, and another vampire saved me. But, because of the first vampire who had already partially drained me, the change hurt." She shook her head and looked at Seth as he leaned back. Her eyes raked over the outlines of his muslces.
"And you`ll always be in shape, too."
"I'm not afraid. If it hurts, it hurts. It would pass eventually." Typical of Seth to be so ignorant.
He smiled when she said he'd be in shape.
Alice watched him for a moment, then tunred to face him. She moved closer, and held out a hand. she slowly moved it so her palm was flat against hit stomach and abs. Her lips parted slightly as she looked back at him.
Seth followed her hand with his eyes, a chill shooting through his spine as she touched his stomach. He was tempted to embrace her, kiss her, but resisted.
Alice watched his eyes for a moment, then lifted her other hand and ran it along his arm, feeling the tight tissue under his skin. she glanced up to him, then back down to her hand.
Seth's hand went to her chin, lifting it so she was looking at him. He stared into her eyes for a moment, mesmerized by their beauty. Then he leaned closer, his lips just a few centimeters away from hers. He hesitated, then kissed her.
Alice closed her eyes and curled one hand up in a ball to rest on his chest, the other stayed on his arm as she kissed him back. His skin was hot against hers, like fire and ice. The smell of his skin filled her nose, and she ignored the calling smell of his blood.
((Twilight*cough cough*))
((Lolz.))
Seth smiled and kissed her just a little more roughly this time. He hand running down her arm.
((Wow. The movie just said vikings were mostly in Minnesota....))
((? I is confused.))
Her hand on his arm moved to the side of his neck, his pulse pounding under her fingers. She kissed him back, her breathing a little ragged. Alice hoped that he would pass it as some small reason, no the fact that she was trying not to pay too much attention to the smell of his blood.
((I dunno. Weird movie.))
Wow. Making out on a mountain. How cool was that? Seth's lips had parted just a little as her hand touched his neck.
Alice pulled away slightly, just centimeters away, grinning and eyes closed.
"Is that really what you think when you kiss me?" She asked, trying not to laugh.
"Oh yeah." Seth replied sarcastically. "That's definitely what I think about." He grinned too and took her hand.
Alice smiled and squeezed his fingers.
"Is there anything you want to know in particular? About me or... changing?"
"I want to know as much as I can about you." Seth whispered. "I already know enough about changing."
Alice nodded, looking at the ground.
"Well, when I was human, I was rich. My father founded a small town near France. Um, the vampire that attacked me was a family friend. The one that saved me was a rogue. He... he was like a father to me. He helped me through everything, all of the changes. His name was Markus, and he was killed. After that I kind of just wandered around for a hundred or so years." She said slowly.
Seth watched her, listening intently to her tale.
"And what brought you to Hogwarts?" He asked.
"It had been a long time since I had learned anything interesting." She shrugged. "I still haven`t learned much." Alice looked up into his eyes.
"Whatever I came here to do, you`ve changed my mind about a lot of things."
Seth squeezed her hand.
"What kind of things?"
He looked into her eyes, then out over the edge of the mountain, where the ground was miles away.
Alice looked to the ground again.
"I thought I would always be alone, a monster that no one would care about. I though no human would ever--could ever-- care about a vampire. I never thought that I would meet someone like you." She whispered.
Seth smiled. "You aren't a monster." He whispered. "You are a goddess. And I'm not that special."
Alice stared into Seth`s eyes with a hard gaze.
"Seth, I am not a goddess. I`ve killed people. I`ve torn people away from their families and tortured them. One of the most famous vampire stories is the one about how we came to be-- we followed Gabriel out of heaven to live our immortal lives on earth. You are special. You can live. You can do anything you want with your life." She said slowly, trying to keep her voice level.
"But I can see that you're a good person. I don't care about what you did in the past. That's the past." Seth pulled her into his lap and wrapped his arms around her waist.
"The term "living" is over-rated. You don't need to breathe air to live."
Alice shook her head and put her hands on his shoulders.
"Can you really call me living? Can you look at me, at what I can do, and call me normal. Can you see me resist the smell of your blood and call me human?" Her voice was soft and slow, and there was a tortured note in it. He didn`t understand. He hadn`t lived as a vampire. He didn`t have to deal with the struggle that came with it.
"Alice, I didn't mean--I wasn't trying to--." Seth sighed as he stumbled on his words.
"Why won't you just change me now? Why do we need to be married first? I want to go through this experience with you. I want to understand what you've been going through."
((I g2g))
Alice was quiet for a moment, looking down.
"I want you to at least have some human memory. I want you to remember something good. I want you to be ready, Seth." She said, looking up into his eyes. "I know you say you are, but I need to be ready, too. I don`t know if I can, yet. You trust me too much to doubt me. What if I can`t do it, Seth? What`s going to happen? You`ll probably die."
"I have plenty of human memory. And the day that I met you will be that good, no, amazing memory." Seth smiled and then laid down on the ground.
"You`ll probably die."
"Then I die." He said simply, yawning.
Alice`s eyes were suddenly staring into his, and her fingers were tight around his wrist.
"Do you know what that would do to me? I couldn`t live to see you die, d*mmit, that`s why I decided that I would change you. I don`t know if i can live in a world where you don`t exist." She looked away, her hands in her lap.
Seth took her hand and gently motioned for her to lie beside him.
"I hate being the weaker one. The male is supposed to be the protector. The one that keeps his mate from being in any harm." He said quietly, staring at the sky.
Alice looked down at Seth`s hand for a moment before laying down beside him, her head on his chest.
"Don`t you think I can take care of myself? Why could you protect me from? If it`s the onslaught of emmotions, I`m used to it by now." She argued in soft and neutral voice.
"Of course you can take care of yourself. But its a guy's natural instinct to wanna protect the girl. I don't know what from." He said as he ran his fingers through her hair.
Alice closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
"I`m sorry. I`m being kind of... vampish."
Seth merely sighed, closing his eyes. Being vampish? Is that what it was called? What exactly did it mean to be vampish.
"Controlling. Demanding. Ruling. Old."
Alice spoke softly, hearing the question in his mind. Honestly, how could you not be tired of me? She pushed the thought into his mind.
"Sometimes you piss me off, but I never get tired of you." Seth said, hearing the thought.
((Yay short posties!))
Alice couldn`t help but smile a little.
"I wondered why you never vocally told me how you felt. I could feel that you were mad at me, but you never told me. Why?" She asked now, opening her eyes.
Seth shrugged his shoulders, eyes still closed.
"I dunno. I guess I didn't want to make you feel bad."
He opened his eyes and saw a group of birds flying in a V shape., migrating.
Alice slowly turned and leaned up so that her elbow supported her upper body and she was facing Seth.
"I can feel what you feel, I can hear what you think. Do you really think that it makes me feel better when you don`t tell me?" Her large eyes locked on his, glowing in the weak sunlight.
"I guess not." Seth mumbled, not wanting to admit it. "I'm sorry."
Alice tilted her head, listening to his heartbeat and the edges of his thoughts. She was quiet for a moment, then leaned forward and put her head on his chest again right over his heart. She made her breathing match his, her heart pounding with the same rythym, just artificial.
"Look at us. We used to be so happy together. Now we bicker over everything, it seems. I am sorry, Seth. I truely do love you, and I really do hope that you feel the same. And from now on if I ever upset you, I want you to tell me. You have no idea how much you mean to me, and I don`t want you to ever be mad at me."
Seth watched her, listening to her breathe. He felt bad. He had been such a jerk to her about changing, constantly trying to force her into something she wasn't ready for. "Alright." He said quietly.
Alice lifted her head and stared down into his eyes.
"You know what I love about you? You`re not afraid to be yourself, but you never hurt anyone. You`re so peaceful." She ran her fingers through his soft hair.
Seth grinned. "Thank you. That's the nicest thing I've ever been told." His eyes stared into hers and he got that weird feeling in his stomach again. Like things were back on track, in rhythm.
Alice also felt that feeling. It felt like something had finally clicked into place.
On impulse, she leaned forward and pressed her cold lips against his.
Seth pulled her close to him, pressing her against his body and kissed her back.
Alice`s fingers knotted in his hair and she let him pull her closer. Since she had been leaning over him before, she was now over him and she crushed his lips to hers. This kissing felt different, and not just because it was. It felt right.
((G2g. I'll post later. Night!))
((I g2g at midnight, but I`ll be on tomorrow.))
Seth brushed his hand over her cheek, kissing her forehead, then her nose, and finally her lips, icy and cold that left his lips feeling the same way for just a few seconds after a kiss.
Alice smiled and kissed his cheek, then his forehead and his eyelids, her lips feather light.
"I love you." She whispered, pressed her forehead against his.
Seth looked into her eyes, lost in her vibrant blue iris' that were like sapphires.
"And I love you." He said softly, moving a piece of hair behind her ear.
She pressed the tip of her nose to his, a dot of fire in her world of ice.
"A whole bunch." She added.
"Oh, bunches and bunches!" Seth said, grinning. He wished this moment would last forever.
Alice kissed him again, still smiling.
"You`re too good for me, honestly."
Seth raised a brow. "Too good for you? Please...you deserve better than me."
Alice raised her own eyebrow, staring at his dark eyes.
"How do I deserve better? I`m a monster, not matter what you think. You, on the other hand, you put up with all of my crap. You`re willing to give up your life and mortality for me. You don`t care about any of my past. You`re not replused by what I am. I`m the one that doesn`t deserve you."
"Don't say that. We're both lucky to have each other." Seth said.
"And you're not a monster." He whispered, kissing her again.
"You don`t know that."
Alice pulled away just enough to whisper. Her eyes were open and serious. Her fingers were still in his hair, and she brushed his hair away from his forehead.
"But I believe it." Seth whispered, staring into her eyes again.
Alice leaned forward and kissed his forehead again.
"That`s because you believe the image that I show you. You haven`t yet seen me at my worst."
Seth sighed and bit his lip, closing his eyes. ((Gah! I almost fell asleep.))
(( =( ))
Alice sighed and rested her head against his chest again.
"I`m sorry. I`m being all pessimistic again." She said softly.
Seth stroked her hair. It was so soft and warm from the sunlight. "Its alright." He said.
Alice closed her eyes, thinking for a moment.
"I don`t know why I keep doing that." She said, scolding herself in her mind.
He shrugged. "I guess its because you're used to it."
Alice clenched her teeth together for a moment.
"I shouldn`t be used to it. Ishouldn`t be so negative around you. I hate it that I am."
Seth smiled and lightly kissed the top of her head. "Don't worry about it." He whispered. "Really."
Alice relaxed slightly, opening her eyes.
"I`m sorry." She said again.
"Alice, please. Don't be sorry." He stared at her, and then put his arm around her. "You have nothing to be sorry for."
Alice balled her hands up against his chest, not meeting his eyes.
"Seth, you don`t understand. How would you feel if someone you loved was being unexplicably nice, and you were being a jerk. You`d feel like a bigger jerk, right?" She asked, again asking him to see from her point of view.
Seth sighed softly. "I've been a jerk to you. I know how it feels." He gently rubbed her arm with his hand. "You've been so good to me Alice. We all have pessimistic times."
Alice sighed, to and hugged him tightly.
"I love you, Seth. Really, I do."
Seth hugged her close. "I love you too Alice. Always and forever."
Alice suddenly smiled.
"Forever?" She asked.
"Forever." Seth repeated, a smile appearing on his face.
Alice kissed Seth again, but softly.
'I don`t deserve you. Truely I don`t."
Seth brushed her cheek with his hand. "I don't deserve you either. Words can't describe how amazing you are."
"Yes, but you`re human. So amazingly human." She touched her own hand to his cheek. "You`re so full of life that it`s almost hard to think about."
"Oh stop, you're making me blush." Seth batted his eye lashes and chuckled.
Alice laughed and sat up.
"Guys don`t blush. Seriously. I don`t know if I`ve ever seen a guy blush."
"And I'm proud to say I don't blush." Seth said, grinning.
Alice`s smile turned a little evil, and she took care to cover her thoughts if he happened to hear her.
"I bet I could bring up a few things that could make you blush." She said. "I`m not going to, because that might be a bit wierd, but once you get so old you fgure out what get to some people."
"Oh really?" Seth said, his dark black brows raised. "Try me."
He was curious about what she could say. He highly doubted that she could make him blush.
Alice snorted.
"No way." She knew that he would try to make her tell him, so she changed the subjct. "I bet you can`t make me blush." She challenged.
Well, duh. She could neve blush again. Blushing required pumping blood, which she didn`t happen to have.
Seth laughed. "Make you blush? You kinda need blood for that."
Alice smiled.
"Good. You do catch on." She teased.
Seth nodded. His eyes were back on the sky and he could see a patch of gray clouds that were quite a distance away.
"Wonder if we'll get snow tonight." He said. "Or rain."
"Thunderstorms."
Alice answered quickly. "It`s going to rain long and hard. I can feel it deep down in my bones." She smiled faintly. "Storms have often been a blessing." Her eyes had a far-away look to them as she remembered her past.
"I like thunderstorms." Seth said. His gazed at the border of blue sky and gray sky. "They're a blessing?"
Alice nodded, looking over at Seth.
"They can be, sometimes. They wash away blood, and you wouldn`t believe how amazing it feels on your skin when it`s puring and thunder rolls across your skin." Her eyes sparkled in excitement.
Seth chuckled as he saw the excitement in her shining blue eyes. He sat upright and wrapped his arm around her waist.
"Its not fun when you're a wolf animagus though. Wet fur is highly unpleasant."
She wrinkled her nose. "Yeah, the wet dog smell isn`t so pleasant, either." She teased. "But still, when you`re a vampire, rain feels absolutely magical."
"Have you ever danced in the rain?" Seth asked her, looking at her.
"Yeah." Alice replied, tilting her head so it rested on his shoulder. "It was a long time ago, back when I still isolated myself from everything."
"I'm really glad that I met you." Seth said. "I know that I'm impatient. That I rushed into the proposal, pushed you about changing. I've been a complete jerk to you at times and you're always so forgiving. I want you to know that I love you from the bottom of my heart." He softly pressed his lips to her cheek. "Always and forever. Until the end of time."
Normally a guy wouldn't just spit out his feelings like that. But Seth wasn't afraid to show what he felt.
Alice was surprised by his words for a moment, a little amazed that he just let everything out like that. When he kissed her cheek she couldn`t help but smile.
"I love you too, Seth." She started softly. "I can`t believe how understanding and calm you are with all of the stuff I`ve put on you. You`ve simply amazed me in ways that I can`t put words to." She leaned forward and kissed him softly.
"Always and forever." She repeated.
Seth smiled and watched as the clouds started to roll in, a loud roar of thunder errupting from the distant sky.
Alice put her hand over his.
"How much do you like storms, because if we don`t love in... about three minutes, we`re gonna get soaked."
Seth shrugged. "They don't bother me at all. I don't mind getting wet." He looked at her. "Do you wanna stay?"
Alice grinned then stood up, holding his hand.
"Sure, but you might want to step away from the edge." She led him away from the little cliff and towards the few trees that were a little ways off. 'You mentioned dancing in the rain? You want to?"
"Sure." Seth smiled as a breeze had started to blow through. He looked up and felt the first couple drops of rain land on his cheeks. He looked back at Alice.
"May I have this dance?"
"Of course."
She stepped closer to him and rested her hand around his neck, leadning the hand she held to her waist.
Seth placed his other hand on her waist, the rain drops starting to come faster and harder.
"The rain does feel good."
Alice closed her eyes and began to sway back and forth to the beat of the thunder.
"Yes. It feels warm to me, although it`s probably cold to you."
"It kinda is, but it doesn't bother me." Seth smiled. "Did you I can kinda control the water element?" He lifted his hand and some of the raindrops remained suspended in mid-air.
"I'm just not very good at it so I don't usually mess with it."
Alice opened her eyes to see Seth suspend the water droplets. She nodded.
"I can control the basic parts of the main elements, but I hardly ever use them." She said softly as she swayed. She raised her face to the sky, letting the rain wash over her skin.
Seth stared up at the sky too, now soaked so that his shirt stuck to his chest and water dripped from the tips of his hair.
Alice looked at Seth and began to hum a song. The rain was coming down heavier now, but somehow it seemed peaceful. Maybe it was becuase because she was with him. And they were dancing.
Seth kept his eyes on hers as they danced to her song. "You know, you have a very pretty voice." He said.
Alice rolled her eyes, but smiled.
"Duh. All vampires have nice voices. I`m virtually perfect. There`s nothing physically wrong with me." She paused. "But the song is really pretty. And today, you know, that's good enough for me/ Breathing in and out's a blessing, can't you see/ Today's the first day of the rest of my life/ And i'm alive and well/ Yeah, i'm alive and well."
"The song is pretty." Seth agreed. There was another roar of thunder and then a flash of lighting.
Alice smiled again, but looked to the sky as the sky sounded like it meant to rip open.
"You want to get out of here?" She asked.
"Where do you wanna go?" Seth asked. "Lead the way."
"how about back down to the school?" She almost had to shout over the rain now, and it wasn`t exactly coming down gently anymore.
"Alright, let's go." He took her hand and started running down the path that led to the ground.
Alice stifled a laugh as Seth tried to run down the path.
"Let me." She said loudly, grabbing his forearm and swinging him up onto her back and running at vampire speed.
Seth rolled his eyes as she threw him on her back. He closed them when she started running.
At least they were moving faster than the rain was falling now. Alice didn`t feel a single drop, just mist. About thirty seconds later she was running up the stairs to the school.
"This is awkward." Seth said. What if one of the guys saw him on his girlfriend's back?
"Then I`ll snap at `em." Alice winked as she shrugged him off of her back, making sure that he landed on his feet. "And besides, there`s no use in getting even more soaked than we already are." She held up her dripping arms.
Seth laughed. He took out his wand, muttering some spell to dry them off. "Is that better? No more drippy."
Alice grinned and tilted her head.
"I could have done that." She said softly, taking his hand and leading him towards the moving stairs.
"You do everything." He said. Seth squeezed her hand and started up the stairs.
((Brb. Shower.))
((I g2g at 7:30. Orchestra. =( ))
Alice rolled her eyes.
"Yeah, but it`s not like it`s hard for me. Would you prefer if I made you do everythingthing?" She asked, smiling.