'Calm down...calm down! You are okay...'
Avalee tried to calm herself. She was breathing heavily, crying in fact, curled up in a grassy meadow in the forest. What brought her here? Lack of sleep and a desire to touch the man she was in love with once more. She yearned to be loved again. To be held in his arms once more would make her so unbelievable happy. Avalee was curled up in a ball...crying quietly to herself.
Her hair was up in a tight bun, so tight in fact her scalp burned a little bit. This late night she was wearing a navy blue dress. It was pretty, and formal. She has just come from a formal dinner at an old friend's house, and forgot to change. She couldn't sleep anyway. But it felt eerie in the setting. ((I just had to post it. I fell in love with this dress. Imagine it navy blue. http://static0.modcloth.com/productshots/0044/6565/14823-1.jpg?1279918254 (http://static0.modcloth.com/productshots/0044/6565/14823-1.jpg?1279918254)))
She sat up, sill crying. The woods were so silent, practically mocking her. She yelled into the night, "How dare you leave me! Why did you break my heart? Why Axel?!"
She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes. Then she stated quieter, "You said you loved me!"
((Sorry. Forgot to say it was closed. SO SORRY!))
"Are you really doubting your love for me, Avalee?"
The voice, so familiar, called out softly. Sadly. There was a stir among the trees, branches waving, leaves dancing. The wind howled and blew across the tall grass, making it bend sideways. And there, in the shadows, was the carrier of such a voice.
The semi-long, spikey, crimson red hair, sky blue eyes, slight frown. He wore a simple white tee shirt with a pair of light faded jeans that had a hole near the knee. Black tennis shoes.
"I wasn't doubting my love for you. I was doubting your love for me."
Then Avalee spun around to see where the voice came from, assuring herself it was in her head.
But no. He was there.
Avalee saw him. As clear as her memories were. As clear as life. She saw him. Her love. In the flesh. The man's face she dreamed about. The man she had longed for. The man whose hands used to hold hers, gently...lovingly. The one whose lips had caressed hers. The man who held her heart in his palm. The one who left her. The man who left her by way of death. She missed him.
"Axel?" She barely whispered.
((Ooopies. I made a mistake, but oh well. I'll work from it.))
"Yes. It's me." He said softly, but the only movement he had made was to put his hands in his pockets. His head fell, hair casting more of a shadow across his face.
"I cannot control death Avalee. Your words, they sound as though I left you by my choice."
Avalee walked towards Axel slowly. Barefoot, her heals forgotten, closing the distance slowly. When there was less than a foot between them she reached out one hand to touch his face. Her fingertips were a short inch from his cheek. When she stopped, and her hand fell back to her side.
"I miss you."
When she had extended her hand out to him, a mere inch away, he took a single step back as if he were afraid of her touch. She stopped though and her hand had fallen back to her side.
"I miss you." She had said.
"I know." He replied back. "I know you do."
"I'm sorry."
It is all she could say. She, just needed him to know it. Her eyes burned as they welled up with tears. Tears that she would not allow to spill over.
Avalee sighed and looked down. It was so surreal.
Axel lifted his head, searching her with his eyes. Why was she sorry?
"You haven't done anything." He said. "I made the mistakes. I only wish you could understand what I had been going through over the last nine years. I was suffering inside." Axel sighed softly.
"Please, don't blame Seth. Because what happened, that was probably the best thing that could ever happen to me. Besides you being my girlfriend."
"I know. I know." She said shaking her head. Turning back towards him, she half smiled. Trying to put on a brave face, although she felt a sting in her heart. He didn't miss her. But she put that away in her head, tucked it away. She couldn't be selfish, not right now. Not while she had him back. Just for this moment.
She stepped closer to him.
"Axel...?" She asked, then paused.
"How are you here?"
"I live." Axel said. "Inside of you." He pointed to his chest, where his heart was. Or would be. It wasn't really beating now, was it? He shook his head. "I can't explain it." He looked up to the sky, at the moon, the faint glow giving his face an almost startling look.
Avalee tilted her head to the side, in question. It didn't make sense. But then again...it didn't have to. He was there. That's all she wanted. It was all she needed. She took another step closer to him, longing to touch him. To be close to him. When he held her in his arms, she didn't feel unloved or alone. She wished to feel that again.
Tears threatened. Yet, she still held back. Tears would not ruin this moment.
He sighed and lowered his gaze back to her. He was different. He wasn't dealing with all of that anger he had once carried on his shoulders. All of the pain he had dealt with in his life had sort of faded away. Except this. Leaving Avalee.
"Phoenix is a nice guy."
"Don't say that." Avalee took another step towards him. Her mind jumbled up and her heart torn, she knew she loved Axel. "Don't Axel." She spoke very quietly. Sercerity colored her voice, but a hint of wearyness did too. She loved him. Wasn't that enough?
Axel ignored her, but he saw her step towards him again.
"He can take care of you." He said. "I want you to move on."
"I can't just move on godd@mit! I love you. And you and stupid Seth had to ruin everything. And you younare just standing here, acting like a d@mn robot with so emotional attachment to any part of me! Do you have any idea how much that kills me inside?!!"
Although Avalee wanted to scream and shout at him, she couldn't bring herself to more than a quiet talking voice. Her mind swirrled, her heart raced, tears spilled, and anxiety threatened to overwhelm her.
Axel turned, unable to bear looking at her at the moment. He could see the hurt in her eyes. He could feel them burning into his back.
"Everything changed since my death." He said softly. "I'm sorry if you expect me to cry or get angry. I don't know what you want. You just don't get it." He turned and was suddenly in front of her.
"You don't know what I've been through in my life, so don't you dare stand there and say I'm acting like a...a robot. I'm finally free from the little emotional prison I was held captive in." He pressed his teeth together, trying to think clearly. "I love you, Avalee. And I always will. But you can't just go around moping and being sad because I'm gone. Like I said, I live inside of you. I will always be around, always watching over you." He looked down and saw that his hands were slowly beginning to fade. His time here was running out. "I don't have much time."
"I'm sorry for who I was." Axel whispered. "I'm sorry I was a messed up kid. But I loved you. I will always love you. But promise me. Promise me you will move on. You've got your whole life ahead of you."
One tear rolled silently down her face. "I don't want to stop loving you. I don't want to be alone again. If I stop loving you, if I stop mourning you, you'll slip away. I'll forget." Another tear rolled. She was sorry for what she had done to him. He was happy now. And that made her feel a tad better.
"You will never be alone. If you forget me, so be it." He brought his hand to her face, to wipe away the tears, but she wouldn't be able to feel anything. He was fading away.
"Promise me." He said softly.
"Promise you what?" Avalee asked, more tears streaming down her pale face. She tried to touch him, to grab his hand, but she couldn't. It tore her apart inside. He was fading quickly. Avalee held Axel's ring, the one she always wore, and brought it to her lips. She kissed itgently. Eishng she could touch him.
Axel watched as her lips touched the ring. It was as if something triggered inside of him. He went to lift her chin so that he may kiss her one final time. But once again, there was no touch. He was practically a ghost. That's really all he was. Even so though, he still went and put his lips against hers.
"Promise me you'll move on." He whispered.
Avalee wanted so badly to kiss him back. To feel his lips once more. She remembered them being warm, and loving. That was Axel in a nutshell. I still love you. She wanted to say. But she didn't want to hurt him. "I promise."
He smiled and stepped back but then fell. Axel was getting weak as his body slowly began to fade away.
"I...think I only have about an hour." He said quietly. He could see through his hands but they were still there.
Avalee walked towards Axel, then sat next to him. Just watching him. Every little move he made. The way he was fading. It made her sadder.
"Oh." Avalee said in response.
He laid down on the ground and closed his eyes. It had started. She was already pulling away her feelings for him. Starting to lock them up. Axel could feel it. And though he acted as though that was what he wanted, he only wanted to be hers. But he was dead now. That was that.
"Are you happy?" Avalee asked in a quiet, childlike voice. Not knowing what answer she hoped to get.