Fox walked into the Common Room and plopped onto a chair by the fireside. It was the middle of the day, one that he had free, and nobody was around. In fact, it was lunch time, and everyone should have been down at the Great Hall pigging out. Fox sighed. He liked the loneliness sometimes... He embraced it today. He was so friendless, and he was finally given a chance to think about it... and to put it bluntly, sulk.
Fox sighed and curled in on himself. His grandfather hated him, his parents were dead, and no one thought that he did anything right, no matter what he tried. Was that why he had become the bully that he was to others? He curled into a tighter ball, hugging his knees. Why can't I please anyone... earn anyone's love?
Ginny came in, humming to herself. She was extreamly happy, for many reasons.One being she didn't have any meetings today. She carried a armful of books and walked to the bookcase, setting the pile on the floor and stretching.
Fox froze when he heard someone come in. He peeked around the corner with caution, examining the girl that was stretching not too far from him. A mask of indifference quickly fell over his face, and he straitened in his seat. He didn't know why she was here... She should be at lunch like everyone else. Almost no one skipped it. He realized that if he did it, others probably did too. That didn't matter though right now. Gathering as much of a nasty smirk he could, he climbed out of the seat and sneered, "Who're you?"
"Someone who's gonna smack that sneer off your face if you don't watch your tone, kiddo." She said, not even looking at him and picking up a book to put away.
"No one's gonna do anything to me, you old hag!" Fox said in a nasty tone. He glared at the intruder. Who was she to boss him around. She seemed like the same thing that he grandfather was. That made him growl, as if he was the animal that he was named after.
He turned away from her, acting like he was already bored with her. He ignored her and nimbly sat on the chair again.
Ginny appeared in front of him, making no sound as she did so. She leaned forward.
"Now, I may be getting old, but I'm no hag, kid." She said, rising an eyebrow at him, amused.
Fox mocked a look of suprise on his face, "Oh, really? You look like it to me."
He looked away and jumped out of the seat in a fashion that let him get past Ginny. He grabbed his bag in mid-jump, almost forgetting it. There was no way that he would let anyone else look into it. He scowled at Ginny and looked at the fire, ignoring her again.
A question came up again from his previous musings, why he had become the bully that he was to others? Was it because of lack of love? Friendship? But..... Does it matter anyways?
Fox crossed his arms, "Humph!"
"Oh really?" Ginny said, yanking the hair on top of his head down so he was now staring at her upside down. She smirked, but it wasn't a happy one.
"You better watch your mouth, boy, before I blast you."
(He's reminding me of Hiro-chan!!)
(Ha ha!!! And now that you mention that, I think that Hiro would be a great avatar... ^^)
"Let go, hag!" Fox yelled, struggling free with difficulty. He got free and smoothed his hair down, glaring at the girl. He tilted his head to the side, "Oh, and by the way, you look like even more of an old hag upside down."
He rolled his eyes, "And you sound like my grandfather, the old fat pig."
Fox looked at her, and snarled, "Not you, or anyone else here can stop me from saying what I want, you old hag. Leave me alone."
(He also kinda sounds like Inu... Don't you agree? Lolz)
"I don't wanna have to do this..." She muttered, before calmly kicking the kid in the stomach, sending him flying backwards and knocking the wind out of him. She folded her arms and her eyes flashed.
"I don't take that attitude, not from my brothers, let alone a little first year."
Fox growled and sat there for a second, "Shut up, you stupid, old hag. You'll just have to put up with it. Nasty, old, tempered, freak-of-nature, smelly hag."
Fox got up, brushed himself off, and glared, "If you don't have anything better to do with your time other that to kick first years around, you're a lot more pitiful than I thought. And a lot more stupid too."
Fox grabbed his bag again and started up the stairs to his dorm. She wouldn't be able to get into there, she was a girl, and that wasn't allowed. He walked calmly, though, as if he had just walked in. He felt a bruise starting where she kicked him, but it didn't matter.
Ginny smirked, watching him go up the steps. She smiled, thoughtfully as his childish thoughts swam around. She shrugged and went back to putting books on the case.
The moment he was in the dorm, loneliness crashed down on him. There was no one in the room, and it was fairly dark since it wasn't lit. He curled up on his bed and cuddled a little fox plushie that his father had gotten Fox when he was still alive.
Father... Mother... This is all I have left of you... Fox curled around the fox even tighter, I'm so lonely... but no one must know. Why doesn't anybody even like me or be able to stand seeing me. Grandfather rejects me, people don't like me because of the way I cover up my loneliness.
Fox held the tears within him. There was so much hurt there. There was a dark spot where friends should have gone in his heart.
This is self-pity, and I know it... but does it matter? Fox asked himself. His stomache growled and he growled back at it.
"Here, eat this. It'll help a bit." Ginny stood beside his bed now, no longer smirking. She smiled softly, understanding slightly the way he felt. Just because you have a big family dosn't mean you don't get lonely. In her hand she held a green herb, specilized to help with such sad feelings.
"Go away," Fox said, looking at her bluntly. She wasn't supposed to be here anyways. In his mind, though, he cried, Please stay!
He ignored those thoughts, "I don't need your help, or anyone elses!"
He turned and cuddled to the half-hidden plush. His mind was weeping with loneliness, That's not true, I need someone's help. Someone who will listen to me and try to understand me! I need a friend, and a good one at that...
A tear spilled down his cheek and he turned even farther away from her. He didn't want anyone to see him cry. He put his head to his crossed arms on his hugged knees. The tears where barely being held back.
I'm a fool, Fox thought, She's offering me help, and I reject it. I'm a fool!
(I just started reading Furuba 10 and Hiro-chan is in it... ha ha ha... so fitting)
"You know, you remind me of how I act when offered help. I think I can do it myself, with no help. But I found out I didn't have to, because someone who cared very deeply for me told me that it's okay to cry, to be sad, and to ask for help." She smiled, still holding out her hand.
"That made me so happy, someone who wanted to take care of me, to help me. It was what I needed at the time. And even though that person can't always be by my side, I always feel him there." She put one knee on the bed, and patted his back. She set the herb down and stood back up.
"It's there if you want it."
"How can you compare me to you? You at least have someone who cares deeply for you. I... I don't," Fox said, letting it slip. He shook his head and his face hardened, "You don't understand anything. I won't be happy, because everyone hates my guts. And you do to, so don't act all comforting."
Fox hugged his plush even more tightly. Tears started to flow down his face.
"Who said I hated you?" She asked, softly, quietly, struggling with herself, then touching his back again. Her eyes widened and she drew in a sharp breath. She saw memories, of his parents, his grandfather, how this little boy had sat many nights like this one. She took a step back, pulling her hand away and looking at him. He wouldn't know she had seen those at any rate, but she understood more now.
Fox gulped and looked at her, tears illuminated from the light coming from the door, "You... Don't you?"
Memories came back, of him sitting in a lonely, practically-barren room. It was dark inside, with only a lighted candle. No one went near him. He was sobbing silently into his fox plush. Suddenly, the candle blew out. Now the only light was from the moon high in the sky. Tears were rushing down his face, and he was so terribly lonely.
Another memory, one of his grandfather. His grandfather was standing over him, at five-years-old with eyes of steel, "You disappoint me. Go away."
"Grandpa! Come play with me!" Fox had cried.
His grandfather swiped him across the face, sending Fox flying a couple feet, "You are a weakling. I have no time for you! Go!"
Fox cried harder, "You... you still... don't really... understand..."
He wanted someone to love him, someone to hug him and say everything was alright, but he knew he wouldn't get it.
One more flash back, of him a couple years younger than he was now. Standing over a sobbing girl. He had just pushed her down. He hadn't really meant to, and he didn't know the girl, since he didn't really get out of the house. He was going to apologise, but for a brief moment, his loneliness was covered a little. He liked it, and savored that moment. He had thought, Perhaps this is the way I will fill the gap in me!
"......" Ginny bit her lip, watching the small boy, who for some reason she felt so deeply for. It was strange, but she wanted to make him feel better.
"Someone to hug you?" She heard his thoughts and repeated them softly. She too flashed back, to not too long ago, a night in the forest. She nodded, remebering the step she had taken then, and knew the step she needed to take now. She knelt on the bed again and put her arms around him, hugging him, lightly, then tightly, as though she wanted him to know it was okay.
"Even if you push me away, I'll keep hugging you...." She said, holding him tightly, almost like she did with her brothers when she was little.
"E-eh?" Fox said at the contact. Then his eyes widened, and he sat in shock for a moment. He blinked and then turned fully towards her. His eyes were still wide, "Why? Why are you-?"
He touched the arms around him, still stunned. Then he looked at her with lost eyes, before hugging her back, something he had never done before. He longed for this his whole life...
"Is it... alright to cry?" Fox asked weakly. His grandfather had told him, 'Boys don't cry. They don't hurt, they don't hug, and they most definently do NOT cry.'
He wanted to let every last unshead tear out... but his grandfather had told him that boys didn't cry... and that they didn't hug either. Fox longed to, but... was it okay?
"I have seven brothers, and eveyone of them cries when they get sad...it's okay." She said softly, keeping her arms tightly around him.
"Seven?" Fox said, his eyes even wider. He looked down for a second, "Before Hogwarts, I barely saw anyone my size."
Then he looked up at her again as her words sunk in. He hugged her like she was his life-line, and cried... and then cried more. He cried until his eyes were sore and dry. Until all of the hurts of the past had been cried about. He sniffed delicately and looked at her.
Fumbling, he pulled out a handkerchief from under his pillow. Most of his things were organized among his stuff, but he always had a kerchief handy. He wiped away the tears from his face.
"Umm... ah... well... Thank... you," Fox said, growing red. He looked at her, "D-don't tell. P-p-please."
He then realized that he still didn't know her name, "Um... ermm..."
She patted him on the head.
"Why tell, it's not as though anyone will care." She smiled at him, tilting her head slightly, letting him know she wouldn't tell.
"My name is Ginny, and anytime you want to find me, just think it. I can even get you outta class." She laughed and patted his head again, ruffling his hair.
"Yeah, you're right," Fox said weakly. He felt so much better. He actually felt like smiling. He let a very small smile creep onto his lips.
"Mine is Fox. Just think your name? You'll come if I think it? Weird, but helpful. And how will you get me out of class? Aren't you a student as well?" Fox looked up at her with a confused look on his face. Then he grinned as she ruffled his dirty blone hair.
He smiled more, and hugged her more tightly for a moment, "Thank you, Ginny."
"It's okay, Fox. I can do almost anything. Just think of me as a big sister." She smiled and hugged him back.
"Really? I-I've never had a sibling... and I'm repeating myself. I'm an idiot," Fox said. He looked down and fiddled with the sheets of his bed. Then he looked up, and there were startings of tears again. He held up his hand, pinky extended. He had never acually pinky swore before, but he had seen other kids his age do it. He blushed and looked at Ginny, "We'll be sibs forever. Right? P-Pinky swear."
Fox held up his hand. Emotionally, he was teetering between isolation and friendship. If she refused, he would plunge into darkness, and it would be hard to open up to anyone again. If she accepted, he would probably be a little nicer and a lot more open with feelings. It was ultimately her decition. He watched her with wide, green eyes.
She didn't pause, or hesitate in anyway except to smile at the small childish promise keeping way. She wrapped her pinky around his and nodded.
"You bet, Fox. Now I have eight brothers, instead of seven." She smiled.
Fox's face lit up with happiness, and he started to cry again, but this time out of joy. He sat like that for a few moments before rubbing his eyes with one hand, still having his pinky wrapped around hers with the other. He got his emotions under control and thought back. Then he started to giggle.
"I was just thinking about what Grandfather would say about this. His face would be all twisted up and stuff. I can't help but laugh at the image," Fox said with a giggle or two. He smiled at Ginny, "I'll have to met the rest of your family then!"
"Anytime. Anyone with the last name Weasly is related to me." She said, thoughtfully. She grinned and let their hands part.
"Let's see, there's Mum, Dad, Bill, Charlie, Fred and George, they're twins, Ron and Josh...." She thought for a moment, "Oh and Percy, but he's a jerk." She laughed.
Fox sat on the bed thinking, "Hmm... I know this isn't for a long while, but I've been thinking about it. Summer is still a long way off, but the school I was supposed to go to, a boarding school, had a summer program for students so that they didn't have to go home. My grandfather is expecting me to stay here. Not go back to Canada. Is there any way I can stay here?"
Fox laughed again, "I am stupid, aren't I? That's too far in the future. I should focus on now and not what will happen."
"Actually, yeah. Or you can come with me, or anyone else who wants to take you." She smiled.
"Since I work here, I often come at least once a week to check on the forest." She slid off his bed and stood, streaching.
"You... work here? I thought that you were a student. You don't look old enough to be out of Hogwarts..." Fox tilted his head. He realized what he said and slapped himself on the forehead, tears coming to his eyes as he laughed, "A few minutes ago, I was calling you an old hag. Now I'm saying that you're not old enough."
"I would like to stay with you, but it'll happen when summer comes, and I shouldn't worry about it," Fox said, smiling and laughing. He hadn't laughed like this at all before in his life. Laughing was new to him, and he liked it.
(WOW thats deep. knee deep, hip deep, chest deep , *blub blub.* I WANT TO BE A SIBLING TOO! jp but no really, i want to be a sibling. think, 9 brothers!)
"Drop-out." She said, smiling. She laughed with him and patted his head.
"Now, though, lunch time is almost over and I'm not doe with my chores."
(Lolz... I don't think the Weasley will stop growing.)
Fox looked up at Ginny and jumped off of the bed, "I'll help!"
His stomache chose that point to growl. He looked down at it, "I... uh... didn't have lunch."
Fox looked up again. He wanted to stay with Ginny, but soon he would have to go to Potions. He shuddered. He wasn't the fondest of that class.
"Make that two of us. Except, I can't remember the last time I had a good meal."
Xaver finished pulling himself out from under his bed, where he had fallen asleep last night.. or two days ago.. It might have been a week, but it didn't matter, he felt healthy again. Slightly healthy again. He was awake, wasn't he?
The time didn't make sense to him, but it was more comfortable standing then it was on the stone floor. Shaking his pointless thoughts from his head, Xaver yawned, absently scratching his chin, his shoulders and eyes drooped tiredly. He wore only loose, dark-wash jeans, so each movement showed the tense knotting and rippling of the hard, lean musculature in his upper torso. He smiled at the kid, then at Ginny.
"Hi," he yawned out lamely, oblivious to anything that had happened before.
"Oh....."Ginny looked at Xaver, surprised, then folded her arms.
"You nastly little brat! Why can't you sleep on the bed like a normal person? I must have been in here a dozen times the past few days looking for you cause I havn't seen you and I didn't see you cause you slept under the bed..." She shook her head.
"You wierdo..." She sighed and looked at Fox. "You can help, and then eat lunch with me. You too Xaver." She said, smiling at him, since she wasn't really mad, just a tiny bit annoyed with herself since she hadn't sensed him, and he hadn't bothered to let her know where he would be or anything, and that she had worried about him. She shoot smiles at both of them before going to the door.
"I'll wait down there for you guys, put on old cloths Fox." She paused, "And put a shirt on Xaver!" She shut the door behind her and went down to the common room.
"Of course, Milady."
Xaver went to his trunk with a yawn, found a gold shirt and slipped into it, then threw on some socks and some old sneakers. He ran a casual hand through his dark hair, then shook his head, trying to wake up.
"I'll see you downstairs, Fox," he said absently, smiling at the kid, then leaving to the common room.
He walked up behind Ginny soundlessly, and put a hand on her shoulder in greeting, unable to say anything for a moment as he yawned, again.
"Sorry for making you look. I hadn't known where I was going to hit the deck when I went into the castle... a while ago.."
Xaver blinked tiredly, and looked down at her with a soft smile. "I don't remember anything from the day I must have fallen asleep. How long was I out?"
Ginny turned around.
"Around five or six days." She said, raising her eyebrows, slightly. She sighed and rubbed her forhead.
"Wow," he said quietly. "A while then. I wonder why.. I don't know.. can't remember."
Xaver watched her rub her head, and he frowned slightly.
"You ok?"
"Huh?" She said, then grinned.
"Yeah, I'm okay. I hope Fox hurry's up, I'm hungry." She said, laughing slightly.
Xaver grinned widely and squeezed her shoulder, before finally letting his hand drop.
"I'm always hungry."
Fox shook his head. Who was that boy? Did he hear the personal conversation? If he did....
Fox didn't want to think about it. When the boy left, he dressed quickly in some old clothing. Feeling ready, he walked quickly and silently down the stairs.
"Sorry to... um... keep you waiting," Fox wasn't used to being nice... at all. He flushed and walked up to Ginny, his life line in this all. He held her hand for a moment and looked up at her. Then he let go and made a small smile.
"No problem, Fox." She said, smiling at them both.
"Oh yeah! Fox, this is Xaver, Xaver, this is Fox, my new little brother!" She said, alughing, though it was seriouse.
Xaver chuckled softly, and nodded to the kid.
"Well, any brother of Ginny's is a friend of mine. Hello, Fox. Welcome to the last moment of sanity you will ever know. You're with Ginny now."
Xaver grinned teasingly over to Ginny, reached out, and softly tugged a strand of her hair. He laughed, and his stomach rumbled in protest..
"Hey!" Ginny protested, shaking her head and laughing.
She smiled, "Alright then, let's go." She said.
Fox looked at Xaver and blinked, "Huh? I never knew sanity in the first place."
Fox blushed at what he blurted and looked at Ginny. He knew that she, at least, knew what he meant by that. He then smiled a little shyly and looked at Ginny, "Um... ah, okay. You lead, Ginny."
Ginny grinned and led them from the common room down the stairs. She walked ahead of them, but only a few feet. They walked down the staircases, down to the first floor and out the door.