(PLZ TELL ME WHAT U THINK SEND COMMENTS)
It was a dark and dreary day in Korada. The only thing you could hear was raindrops falling against the rock hard pavement, and the sound of one girl in a heavy rain coat walking briskly down the isle of houses. This girl was Celina. Celina was a 13 year old girl who worked at the hospital. She was just returning from a market trip to gather the necessary herbs and potions to cure the patients. She didn't even notice the rain or the fact that no one else was outside. The only thought in her mind was, Popo. Popo was a patient she had grown much attached to. He came in a year ago when he was 4 and his birthday was in 8 days. When he came in he had the flu, it would seem to get better then fall right back down to a fever of 103 this kept happening continuously. The only person who could comfort him when it did was Celina. Just as Celina was leaving the hospital to get the herbs Popo's temperature was rising and fast at that. I just hope he hasn't gone into distress mode thought Celina to herself.
As Celina was a block or so away from the hospital she saw smoke coming from a building some what in the near distance. O dear she thought I hope no one was hurt. And she continued walking down the street. Not even considering the thought of what was burning. As she turned the corner she froze. All she saw was the hospital up in flames, she was paralyzed by her own fear every thing dropped from her hands and everything seemed to freeze. She saw everyone outside watching the building burn to the ground, everyone but Popo.
I like it BUMPERS
"Popo!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. Everyone turned to look at this small soaked girl with purple eyes who was now running toward the open yet burning doors of the hospital. "No!" said two of the nurses she had befriended at the hospital.
"Don't try to stop me, I have to save Popo!!" wailed Celina.
" No" Each one of her friends grabbed one of her arms and pulled her back. NO! screamed Celina. "Popo is still in there!" We know, we know said the red haired one, Carli. Yes calm down a team of fire fighters is in there now searching for people said the brunette one, Danielle. "Oh look here they come now." Just then 3 figures appeared from the smoke. Now Celina was thrashing this whole time and she finally broke free and started to run at the fire fighters as she approached them she realized they were calling for an ambulance and running for their truck. She also saw a small body hanging limp in their hands.
bummp i like it.
Keep going, but I have a suggestion. When a diffrent person talks, make a new paragraoh. It's easier to read that way.
thank you for the suggestion and I am new at this so i like the advice
The firefighters loaded the small body onto the ambulance and the ambulance drove away. A short while afterwards a firefighter approached Celina. "Miss I'm so sorry the little boy Popo he said his name was. He is in critical condition and losing time quickly, the most time he has is 3 days but that is a pretty generous guess. Miss, miss are you there?" Celina had completely lost all outside contact. Normally she is a sweet feeble little girl, but now was different. Now she felt something she never felt before she felt a sudden blinding fury over take her whole body. All she thought was why? WHY! She screamed her, cloak flew off her shoulders as if a wind came along and it wasn't latched properly. After her cloak flew off her violet cropped hair shone in the moonlight like lavender during midday. The sky and the entire area around her turned a dark violet and her eyes a dark bottomless purple, she threw her hands up in the air and screamed into the darkness: WHY! HE WAS ONLY 4 YEARS OLD! HOW COULD YOU TAKE HIM FROM ME! YOU WISH HIM TO DIE BEFORE HIS BIRTHDAY! WWWWHHHYYYY!!!! Then she sank to the ground crying. All the purple disappeared from the sky and all that was left was a purple era radiating around her. Then she fell flat to the ground and the era disappeared. She fell unconscious.
It's a good story, very interesting. I like it.
I have bad eyes, though, so if something is hard to read, I often abandon it. Lolz.
But good job, keep going.
yeah keep it up, and put me in it!!!(as jessie)
Nice, do continue
(thnx every1. u no wat every time i read over my story i think i rote poopoo instead of popo and i think wow that was dumb)
The next day she woke up in a hospital bed in room 846.
"Where am I? I thought the hospital burned down."
"Yes miss it did you're in the one south of that"
"Wait it wasn't a dream so then... Popo!!! Mam is there a boy named Popo here he was rescued from the fire last night?"
"Dear you must be mistaken the fire wasn't last night but 2 nights ago, and Popo is in another hospital 1 day away from here by plane"
"But that means I'll never make it in time! NOOOOOO! Why, WHY, WHY!!!!!"
Then straight out of her hospital bed she rose floating and she had that violet era around her again. Her violet hair went straight up above her head as if it were metal being pulled to many, many magnets. She then shot an energy beam at the window to break it, and then she flew straight through it. The only thing driving her to keep going was sheer hate of the fire and the sheer thought of losing Popo and finding the cause of the fire last night. It was quite a sight to see a small 13 year old girl flying through the sky like a shooting purple star and everywhere behind her the sky turned a deep deep purple.
lol keep it up but just edit it a bit, it's good so far
bump
bumpity bump bump, a bump bumo
sorry ive hit a writers block but be sure as soon as it clears my fans will be the 1st to know
(Hey I've made changes so here!)
The next day she woke up in a hospital bed in room 846.
"Where am I? I thought the hospital burned down."
"Yes miss it did you're in the one south of that"
"Wait it wasn't a dream so then... Popo!!! Mam is there a boy named Popo here he was rescued from the fire last night?"
"Dear you must be mistaken the fire wasn't last night but 2 nights ago, and Popo is in another hospital 4 days away from here by plane"
"But that means I'll never make it in time! NOOOOOO! Why, WHY, WHY!!!!!"
Then straight out of her hospital bed she rose enraged and she had that violet era around her again. Her violet hair went straight up above her head as if it were metal being pulled to many, many magnets. She then ran to the window and desperately pounded on it with her fists until she broke it. The glass shattered cutting her hands and face. She jumped out the window. She fell and fell just wanting the nightmare to end. Before she hit the ground she became unconscious as an automatic response to the fright. The purple era returned and she became like a possessed demon only beautiful. She wasn't conscious at all yet and it was she was on her journey to heaven. Her body lifted by invisible hands and being brought across the sky.
5 minutes later Celina arrived at the hospital Popo was in and fell through the window after dropped by the hands. The impact of the floor bringing back consciousness along with the pain of the cuts from the glass. The reality hit her. She saw this small feeble little boy lying in a hospital bed. Celina was weakened deep within at the sight of the person she once loved so frail in a hospital bed. She went to him.
"Popo can you hear me?"
Popo awoke and tried to smile. "Celina... I'm so glad you're here. Now I can finally leave this world in peace." Popo said as he started to drift off. His eyes were glazing over.
"Popo! No you can't leave me! I need you!" Celina's face became red and blotched and small tears hit the pillow of the hospital bed.
"Celina it's better this way. I've had a purpose on earth and this is it..." Popo took his last breath and looked up into space. His hand went limp falling from Celina's grasp. The pillow became heavier and Popo died.
good!! I like it!
WOW that wuz realy good it was the best story eva. write another one pleeeeaaaazzzz
That can't be the end of the story!! His death needs to give her purpose in life!!
Writer's block uno momento
Writers block? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's the worst!!! Someone make it stop!!!!!!!The story must go on!!!
Haha... what can I say it's the worst! When I get writers block I try and come up with something and it ends up really stupid!!
HAHA!! No offense taken! Really though I always try to write even with a writers block, and it turns out really bad.... for me, it's a really bad idea to try and write through one.
PEOPLE PLEASE! Try not to post a lot until I get something written. This is in fan fic.
It is pretty good. try and post more when your over your writers blockness.
Yeah, for sure post more, and sorry about posting on here to much, but every time someone posts on here, I just click on it because I can't wait to read what you posted, but you didn't post anything....so I just replied out of common courtesy.