(Well, not exactly...my boyfriend is on the phone playing pretty songs to me and singing (not the best singer, but he is so sweet) so I wanna make a new RP cause I feel like it.)
Ginny sat crosslegged at the edge of the forest, wrapped in a large black hooded sweetshirt. She frowned at the ground, looking at the blue orb before her. She touched it and it glowed bright, causing her to pull her hand away as though she had been burned.
She was afraid of what that orb would show her, she hadn't tried to use this yet. Beside the orb lay a large black feather, with blue tips. She didn't want to make him come here against his will...
((BTW, this is open))
((Oh yeah, um...no real plan...gonna make it up as I go. Deal with it. :P ))
Matt had been wodering through the forest when he saw Ginny. "Hey."
Ginny looked up at this new boy and offered a small smile. It was after classes, so she wasn't too surprised to see a student.
"Hi." She said, pushing a few strands of bright red hair out of her face.
*sirius krept up behind ginny, pearing over her red hair to see what she was doing. he smiled, of course...what else would she be doing! he himself never did appreciate any orb reading or anything else such as that. he did like the stars, when he read those he fealt like a centaur himself. since class had just gotten out and he had skipped again, he was wearing his normal school clothes but his nose had a red tint to it considering he had just gotten a nose bleed from one of the weasley wizard wheezes packets.*
What Sirius didn't know was that he was about to get another nosebleed, this time a real one. Ginny sensed him behind her androlled to her hands, springing up on them and kicking her feet right into Sirius's face, knocking him backwards. She gracefully flipped into a kneeling postion and covered her mouth in slight shock.
"Whoops...sorry, Sirius..."
(oh that was tight)
*sirius was thrown backwords by the kick and he covered his nose, trying to stop the bleeding. he glared at ginny. but then smiled and walked up next to her spilling blood on her hands.* oops, sorry ginny.
Ginny made a strange noise as blood dripped onto her hands, and she grew pale. It wasn't that she was squimish. She hated the scent of blood, and she quickly wiped her hands off of some leaves, still slightly pale. She already had too much blood on her hands.
"Ha ha." She struggled to laugh.
*sirius smiled. he had accomplished what he wanted. the smell had reached her nose. he stepped back and waved his wand at his face, the blood vanished.* so why do yoy despise of that smell anyway?
"Bllod smells too much like death." She told him, her voice throaty. Her colour was slowly comming back, but she still wrinkled her nose, still smelling the stench of blood.
oh i see... *sirius sat down, leaning against a mossy tree. he was massaging his nose.* that hurt ya know. *he smiled.*
"I would be surprised if it hadn't." Ginny said, raising her eyebrows.
*sirius sighed and started throwing a rock in the air and catching it lazily.* so i have a question. *sirius said sitting indian style and twirling the rock in his hands while looking at ginny's eyes. they weren't as beautiful as sarah's, but still there was something about them that was distinct.* how did you get so...ya know terrifyingly powerful.
Ginny smiled, sitting down crosslegged, "When I was a first year, I was possessed by Voldemort." She told him, softly, "That was what started it, I suppose. Something so terrifying and strange as that broke down the mental barriers most people have and helped me reach my psychic abilites." She paused, watching the stone.
"For years, I worked on it by myself, then finally asked my brother, Ron, and his friends for help. They were the most powerful students to ever cross Hogwarts threshold. Kiara Maul, Harry Potter, Lavender Potter, just to name a few. Kiara worked with me patiently. Consequently, I was exposed to Voldemort and death more and more. I began to wonder what would happen when I couldn't use my wand or my psychic abilites."
She picked up some dead leaves, picking them apart slowly, "So I taught myself how to fight with my fists...I needed it, as Conan, my ex-husband, found out about a thing called a power stone, that takes away the natural magic and psychic abilites within your body. An enemy had come after us with it, and I had to fight myself out of it. I almost died..."
She pused and grinned, "Come to think of it, I almost died too many times to count before I turned 16." She giggled.
*sirius whistled lightly. he stopped twiddling the rock.* wow...it sucks and its good at the same time! *he smiled then watched as a spider ate a fly.* kinda like my life.
She smiled slightly, "Very true." She frowned then, "I was loved by my family, always. But..." She paused, slightly upset.
*sirius smiled.* lucky you. i never did like my family...i don't really remember them. after i came back to this day and age, i didn't know where they went. frankly i didn't want to know..
Ginny offered a slight smile, "That's how I feel about Conan and his family..." She said. She stopped though, thinking. No, that wasn't it exactly.
oh i see. *sirius said looking at her mouth as she talked. sirius at times had trouble paying attention otherwise.* so whatever happened to kiara and the others?
She thought for a long moment, seemingly confused, "They grew up..." She said, softly, her voice sad, she pulled her knees up to her chest and put her head on them. Her eyes started to water slightly, "I miss them..." She choked out, covering her eyes.
She hadn't ment to cry.
*sirius walked over to her and sat down next to her.* sorry. didn't mean to make you cry or anything... *he did hate it when he would do something to make a girl cry even when it wasn't his fault. he realized something though, that even the bravest and strongest of people are still just human. it was hard for sirius to imagine ginny ever crying or doing anything that wasn't as strong as she seemed. he had to smile.*
Ginny didn't see his smile, she was busy trying to stop her tears. She didn't stop crying, however, instead she started sobbing harder, "They always grow up...they always leave..."She sobbbed.
*sirius put his arm around hers lightly. trying to comfort her. he smiled.* yes, but just think. if they hadn't of grown up you would've never met me...or sarah...or albus because they wouldn't have enough years at Hogwarts!
Ginny shook her head, "They were my first friends. They are like family to me, and I havn't a clue where any of them is!" She glanced at the orb and feather, which still laid on the ground, "I don't even have an inkling of where Xaver is..."
*sirius sighed. he couldn't and didn't know how to help her in any way.* i'm really sorry ginny. no one should have to go through with losing there best friends. especially with you and Xaver...
"I havn't seen any of them for over three months..." She paused, taking a moment to try and calm herself.
"I'm sorry, Sirius. I shouldn't be bothering you with this."
*sirius smiled softly.* its fine ginny. its hard and i don't know anyone who can keep all of these feelings inside them forever...not even the brave and fearless ginny. *he laughed lightly.*
"No. I shouldn't be telling you any of this." Ginny muttered, her cheeks flushed from a combination of crying and embarassment.
*sirius leaned against the mossy tree lightly. he still had his arm around ginny trying to comfort her lightly.* and why is that? there's nothing you can lose honestly. i can keep secrets...i promise! *he smiled.*
"Because the last time I saw Xaver, I told him all of this...I accused him of abandoning me..."She covered her face in guilt.
ginny! that doesn't change anything. your feelings were just overpowering your thinking and your judjment! it wasn't your fault that you told him all of this and accused him. your feelings had been bottled up for to long. just like they were now...
"Don't you understand, Sirius?" Ginny's voice was muffled, "I drove him away. It's my fault he left me this time..."
*sirius sighed and looked at the trees in front of him.* ya...looks like we both messed up there. i drove sarah away too...
"After everything...I was there when his sister died...there was nothing any of us could do...that sweet little girl, and Xaver always felt like it was his fault...then he finally does come back, and I can't stop myself from saying such mean....mean...things...." Ginny rubbed her face roughly.
*sirius removed his arm from her shoulder. rubbing his eyes he said solomly* ginny...i'm really sorry. i wish there was something i could do, but there isn't. you can't do anything either. ya you probably didn't make the best dicision! neither did i. now we're alone in the world. its the cold hard truth...we're both without love...but instead of dying because of the past, why not live for the present?
"I have nothing to live for." She muttered.
yes you do! look at how far you've gotten! look at what all of your old friends have helped you to get to! if it makes any difference. you're probably the only one who knows how to handel me at times. *sirius smiled.* you've got so much to live for...you are one of the if not the best witch in this world! all because of the people who were there for you and who helped you. wherever they are, i'm sure they are so proud of you! you can't even imagine!
"And what diffrence does that make if I'm not happy?" Ginny shook her head, "It took me alot of killing to get where I am, Sirius. For once...I just wanted...some love..." She rubbed her face again.
ginny...you might not except it...or think it's the same as your old friends. but all your friends RIGHT NOW are trying to love you the same...
..trying even harder to be more loving then your other friends! we may not have all of the same powers as them...but we all love you more then you cna imagine.
i will tell you this. you will never find another love like Xaver...
...but i would atleast try.
"Try to find someone like Xaver...?" Ginny asked, softly.
*sirius looked at her with respect even under the circumstances.* you'll never find another person like Xaver...just like i won't find anyone like Sarah again.
but we both need to find others. to try and get our minds off of our lost loves.
we're about even. you can't get Xaver out of your head and i have to see SArah almost everywhere i go here...it's just the cruelness of loves.
they always leave behind a piece of themselves...
...inside us.
Ginny sighed, still rubbing her face, "Sirius, you are way too mature sometimes...it scares me."
*sirius smiled.*
well ginny, i must say. i always thought you were just a strong and heartless woman.
this is the first time i've seen this part of you. and even though you may hate this part of you. i like it...it reminds me that while you may be strong on the outside...
...your still only human. *sirius lightly hugged her.* we'll both get through...allright?
"Of course I'm human." Ginny paused to look at him, "You must have never noticed, I'm not heartless."
*sirius smiled.* that's a big surprise to me! just kidding. your a good girl ginny, im sure you'll find someone out there that understands you.
Ginny laughed, "Whats to understand?" She asked, "You make me sound complex."
*sirius blushed...* well ya know...some who is as smart as you...and who can work with you and agree with you without fear. if i were a guy who like you, which im not saying i am, i'd wanna be able to match up with all of that.
Ginny made a noise between a laugh and a groan, "And now you make me sound super powerful." She said, rolling her eyes. He had cheered her up a bit though.
*sirius smiled and shrugged his shoulders down instead of up.* well ginny, there's just no pleasing you! *he silently laughed.*
Ginny smiled though, and made a move to stand, but lost her balance. She fell back onto her butt and scowled slightly at herself, then laughed.
((don't know where you guys are right now....tell me and then I'll join ;D ))
*sirius laughed and held out his hand to help her up.*
Ginny grinned, took his hand and went to hoist herself up.
"Thanks," She said.
anytime *sirius said as he smiled let go of her silky smooth hand.*
"Doesn't happen often. I'm the most balanced klutz you'll ever meet." She said, laughing and shaking her head. It was true, she possesed balance, especially when it came to fighting, but in normal circumstances, such as walking, she had to concentrate to not fall.
*sirius laughed.* that's funny. well i'm not the best balancer either. *sirius said as he stepped onto a log that led across a tiny puddle with dirt filled water. he lost balanace half way and fell with a little splash into the water. his face red from embarrasment.* see? *he said laughing.*
Ginny laughed with him, pulled out her wand and pointed it at him. "Here." She offered, drying not only him, but the puddle as well.
*sirius nodded his head towards her.* impressive. *he said as he rubbed his index finger across the dried dirt that was once the water puddle.* thanks. *his eyes turned back into his flashing green as he looked at ginny.* so are you ok about everything now?
"Your welcome." She told him, then nodded slightly, "I'm okay, for now." She told him with a small smile.
*sirius stood up and shook off then looked in her eyes.* good. i wouldn't want you to let these feelings overcome your good judgment and your powers. *he placed his hand lightly on her shoulder.* if you ever need to just break down again. i'll be there.
"My powers might be a problem. My judgement is never good." She told him, smiling still.
"And thank you." She gave him a hug as thanks and nodded, "I'll get ahold of you next time I can't hold it."
*sirius smiled.* you'll have to make an appointment with I disagreeistant though. i am a very busy man with all of the women that keep flocking to me.
Ginny laughed, "You should learn some martial arts to fight back the girls." She teased, then laughed.
"I'm sure you spend more time fighting off the girls then I sped fighting off drunks and leeches." She patted his cheek with a smirk.
*sirius smiled* that's a good idea. maybe i should learn martial arts. *he laughed.* ha, i'd trip over my own moves then.
ya i do have a problem with fighting off girls these days. i am just so amazing i know. *he looked at ginny.* with most girls that is...
"I could teach you." She smiled, truthfully, "I'm not bad at fighting and self defense." She said, modestly.
Then she raised her eyebrows, "Yes, sooo amazing. Seriously, however, I doubt you've kissed more then two diffrent girls in your life." She shook her head and grinned, teasing him still. She laughed and rolled her eyes.
*sirius smiled. then did a puppy dog face.* yes poor me could only ever get sarah. i'm lonely now. i always wanted to make my kissing girls move up to 3...i just hope i can find some girl out there worthy of my lips. *he smiled.*
"That's always the hard part." Ginny told him, softly, her eyes shadowed lightly. But not in a sad way, in a thinking way more then anything. She smiled then, however, "You aren't begging for kisses on school grounds, right? That's soliciting." She told him, shaking her head.
*sirius smiled.* see, that's what special about you ginny. you always seem to think of the most important things. ok, even i didn't beleive that. and no, don't worry. i keep my hopes to only the people i can really trust...
Ginny laughed, "Like whom?" She teased, gently, "Who would kiss you?"
The teasing was apparent in her voice, and she knew he heard it. Otherwise she wouldn't have said these things.
*sirius laughed.* now that is a good question miss weasley. hm, do you know of any fair maidens who would be so kind as to make my dreams come true and kiss me? *he was playing along with ginny. it was fun.*
Ginny tapped her finger on her cheek, pretending to think, "Let's see...Sarah obviously wanted to. I believe you kissed Cho...hmmm..I can't think of anyone else." She told him, teasingly.
*sirius laughed...* allright. so i've kissed 3 girls. *he winked.* but just three...that i can actually remember there names. *he blinked. then raised three fingers.* sarah, cho, and mira.
"Ah, Mira. I didn't guess her." Ginny said with a smile.
*sirius stepped closer.* there's one person that i want to add to that list. *sirius kissed her. without thinking he kissed her. then quickly pulled away, his fingers still had the three up. he added his ring finger into it.* bing! i've now kissed the 4 most beautiful women at hogwarts.
Ginny's mouth dropped open in shock and she flushed a bright red, her cheeks and ears scarlet.
"Wha..."She started to say but she simply looked at him in confusion, "Wha...? But...?" She couldn't form a question, or even a though.
She couldn't get past the thought that she hadn't seen that coming.
(ha, right, hadn't seen it comin' ay?)
*sirius smiled.* i know ginny, its a big thing when someone kisses you. are you sure you'll be allright. *sirius smiled he felt more relaxed now.* you have no idea how long i've actually wanted to do that...
((Well, I saw it, Ginny didn't. She oblivous.))
No one had kissed her since Xaver, at least two months ago. She had forgotton what kissing felt like, and it surprised her. She touched her lips with her fingers then gave him a sarp look.
"For five minutes, I suppose." She told him, scrutinizing him.
*sirius looked at the ground.* actually ever since you told me about what you and Xaver had. i've never been that close to anyone. sarah and i were close...but not that close. i thought that maybe by kissing you i could feel what you and him had...*he looked at her and smiled.* aren't you mistaking my attention span of five minutes for this?
She starred at him with surprise, "You want to kiss me? Really?"
Ginny smiled then, almost sweetly, "I sorry to be suspicious, Sirius." She closed her eyes and shook her head softly, "I didn't tell you everything about Xaver. I loved him so much. And the first time we kissed, it was as though electricity was coursing through me. Blissful is the only way to discribe it." She still had her eyes closed, remembering the feeling with a smile on her face.
*sirius smiled at her. she was so lucky to have an amazing memory. all of his and sarah's good memories seemed to be fading fast from him. he could barely remember what her lips felt like. nothing like ginny's that was for sure.*
She opened her eyes then, surveying him like a hawk.
"I'll never find another Xaver." She told him softly, "I'll always love him." She looked sad again, as she realized this again. She looked to Sirius and pulled out a fake smile, however.
"You and Sarah will be together in the end..." She told him.
*sirius looked at ginny.* i understand. you could never replace someone like Xaver i understand that. and i know that smile is a fake ginny. *sirius raised his eyebrow.*
i don't know if i want to end up with her though. everyone says we'll end up with each other in the end...but...
i guess the reason i hate that idea is i don't want the end to come. *he sighed.* its stupid i know. i mean, we all end sometime. i jsut don't want to think about the future. i live day by day and i dont think of anything else...
Ginny nodded, "I understand."
She gave him a hug, nodding again, "If it helps any, one action can change the future or set it in stone." She told him, "I should have had my first child by now. But Conan's action to decide to kill me, which led to our divorce, changed that." She gave him a squeeze then stepped back.
Again, she looked at him like a hawk, "You really want to know what Xaver and I felt?" She asked, slowly.
*sirius hugged her lightly back and listened to her every word.*
i would give anything to feel what you to must have felt... *he said truthfully.* i never met him. but the way you talk about him...i can't even imagine.
Ginny gave him a sly, mischieves grin then, "yes, yopu can." She said, softly, taking half a step closer to him.
"But you have to trust me."
*sirius barely breathed with her getting closer.* i trust you. *he said almost in a whisper so as to not destroy the peacefullness of there surroundings.*
"Good." She told him, smiling sweetly.
"Absence of sight..." She reached up and with gentle hands, closed his eyes. As she finished the last sound, he would have opened his eyes and not seen at all.
"Absence of sound," She touched each ear, and he was instantly deaf. But he could hear her next words in his mind.
-Absence of touch.- She grasped each hand, and his whole body went numb.
His world was dark and quiet for a moment, before, in his mind's eye, he was plummeted back a year in the past. He could see Ginny and Xaver, sitting in the forest, surrounded by leaves. Then he saw from Ginny's view point, as though he was seeing through her eyes. He could feel it when Xaver gently tugged Ginny's hair, and the flip his stomach did.
What the two said was unimportant, as they stood and slowly started walking up a path. At some point, Xaver touched Ginny's hand, and Sirius could feel the electrical current that passed between them. And when Ginny stood on her toes, the point of view changed.
As Ginny and Xaver's lips touched the first time, then the second, Sirius himself could feel the pure blissful feeling. The electricty up and down their spines, rather like ice and warm oil at once. The shivers and goosebumps that came from two simple kisses. The sudden need for more, the terrible self control. And the happiness.
This scene faded, showing Ginny and Xaver in a dark, stone room, sitting side-by-side against the wall. Xaver had no shirt on, his large black wings were spred over them both, and the feelings of contement, of perfection, security, needfulness was felt by Sirius. He still could not hear their words, but that mattered not. It was the feelings he had wanted to experiance.
Suddenly, Sirius could see, he was out of Ginny's memory, and she was still holding his hands, reciting the return spell. She looked at him with soft eyes, a smile on her face. There were small tears in her eyes.
"Now you know some of what we felt. That first was the very first time I'd kissed him."
*sirius could not speak.*
*he couldn't move.*
*he was taking in little breaths. it had been so amazing. more then he could handel! the way ginny and Xaver must have felt for each other was unbelievable. sirius would kill for something like that, to be able to have that connection. to feel that way about someone and know they felt the same for you. it was unimaginably brilliant.*
Tears slid out of Ginny's eyes, but she didn't move to wipe them off. She didn't notice them.
"He would go away, and come back. Each time I was terrified that he had found someone new. But each time, he proved to me his love within moments." She stopped, unsure of how to go on, "Sirius, It's been almost three months since I have seen him. I think..." She could not finish the sentence.
*sirius wanted to know what she thought. but it was numb still. he couldn't find the right words...he finally managed to.* you think what? *he said softly, unaware of her crying once more.*
"I think I killed him..." She said, softly, "I mean not to sound vain. But he and I...the words I spoke to him...I have not seen him since...I have not been able to connect to his mind since..."
The tears coursed down her cheeks, dripping off her her face and landing on their hands, which were still clasped.
oh ginny. *sirius said to her simpathy in his tone. he wiped away her tears and hugged her.* i'm so sorry...
"Now you know what he means to me. Now you know what I have done." She closed her eyes, unwilling to look at him, feeling she didn't deserve his small kindnesses.
"My worst crime has been to kill the one person who loved me with every fiber in his being."
*sirius lifted her chin so he was looking into her soft eyes.* ginny, you don't know that you killed him...just because you said some things that you deeply regret doesn't mean that you killed him. i'm sure he still went on with his life, a big part of him was missing yes, but he still went on...i'm sure he did...
Ginny's eyes were half panicked, showing how close to hysterics she was getting, "No...you still don't undertstand. Xaver wouldn't do that. No matter how large his anger!" She gasped, suddenly finsing it hard to breath, "Xaver...Xaver would have tried to contact me somehow..."
(In actuallity, I talk to Xaver all the time through e-mail.)
(Wow, that's funny! lol)
it wasn't you who killed him though! maybe it was...i don't know! *sirius smiled.* it wasn't something that you did ginny. he's strong, he would've managed that. something or someone got to him before he could say he was sorry though. that was probably it. *sirius was trying to give other reasons for why Xaver had stopped communicating, when in truth. he had no idea.*
(Yes, but recently, Xaver has stopped answering my e-mails, which gives me cause for worry.)
She threw her arms around him suddenly, almost throwing him off balance as her arms squeezed his shoulders.
"I only hurt those who care for me." She said, resting her head on his chest as the tears continued to fall.
(Yes that does seem to be a good reason for worrying.)
*sirius placed his hand on her back then the other on her head trying to comfort her after regaining balance.* ginny, if that were true then i would probably be dead. *sirius smiled with his mouth closed.*
Ginny's eyes grew wider, if possible, and as quickly as she had wrapped her arms around him, she now tried to push him away.
"If you stay my friend, you will be." She said, believing what she said was true now.
*sirius willingly let his hands slide to his side once more. looking at ginny.* well i am telling you right now, i have no intention of leaving you. no matter how hard life becomes, i will always be there for you.
Ginny's hands went to her face, covering it as she fell to her knees, sobbing. The sky darkened, the forest became colder, and Ginny's hands became drenched in blood. It was all only an illusion, something she saw almost every moment of every day.
She wrenched her hands from her face, trying despretly to wipe the blood from her hands, but it only smeared.
*sirius looked at ginny, but didn't know what to do.* ginny! *he said to her. trying to break her out of this trance that she seemed to be in.*
She looked up, her eyes hysterical and she gasped for breath. She held her hands up, knowing he could see them too, "I did this!" She cried out.
*sirius blinked and jumped back horrified. he finally saw why ginny hate blood so much. after recovering from his stumbling backwords, he walked towards ginny again, trying as best as he could to ignore her hands. he sat down next to her.* ginny, try not to think of that. ok? think of happier moments. don't dwell on the past...just try and move on. don't look at the blood...it will only make you go insane.
"I am already...insane..." She sobbed, wiping her hands on the grass, her robes, anything to try and get rid of it. Anything to get rid of guilt.
"I can't...live like this..." She was more then hysterical now, she was losing control. Not of her powers, but of her emotions. Now she reached up, her nails digging into her scalp as she struggled with herself.
*sirius grabbed her hands and forced them down. he looked in her eyes sternly.* ginny. you need to focuss on other things. you get what you focus on and you are looking at the worst of the things in your life.
She fought him, half screaming with rage at his interferrence.
"No! I can't...expose you and the others!" She choked out, before falling against him her sobs uncontrollable for some reason beyond her.
*sirius let go of her hands when she fell on him.* expose us to what? *sirius asked her calmly. holding her lightly.*
"To me..." Se sobbed into him, her body shaking with each cry.
oh ginny...*sirius said as he tried to calm her.* you make it sound like your a disease...
we being your friends see the goodness in you and that's all. we trust that you won't do anything. so you should have more confidance in yourself...
"You don't know what I am capable of!" She cried, now clenching his shirt in her hands she she cried.
"I killed more people then I can remember..."
*sirius looked in her eyes.* don't you think for one second that your friends don't know your powers'. we just know the good power's in you though!
you are a friend to us. you help us! you've helped more people in danger then you can count to. you just look at the wrong things! forget death! live and be happy!
Ginny was silent, except for her sobs while she tried to answer. Finally, she was able to squeeze out, "That's what he would tell me."
*he wiped her tears off her cheaks once more.* then remember his words and trust them...
"He also said he would never leave me." Ginny added bitterly after a moment. Sh had stopped crying now, but was still gaining controlof her breathing.
*sirius sighed.* ginny, give him a break! he mest up. we all have before! so he mest up more then others...he's just like everyone else though. you just loved him so much that you are thinking of him as more then just a man.
"I'm not blaming him." Ginny shook her head, bitterness growing in her chest, "All I'm saying is that he didn't know he'd have to leave me, so he may have been wrong about other things."
like what other things? *sirius said calmly to her.* everyone's wrong about things sometimes. and not everyone can predict the future...*sirius put his arm around her.* well, unless your name is ginny. because man, i don't know if you've met her. but oh my is she amazing. *sirius smiled.* she can save millions of people easily! i mean...sure she's made mistakes. but who hasn't? and ya, maybe she can overreact...but again, who doesn't? all i know is, she's a great girl. *sirius whispered lightly in her ear.* she just doesn't give herself enough credit.
"Maybe she can only save millions because she knows she's killed more then billions."
Ginny said, looking at him sideways without moving her head. Her eyes were red-rimmed and dark. Her face was strangly pale, not just from crying. In fact, she looked sick.
were they good people...or bad? *sirius asked her cautiously. he had never heard the stories about the people she had killed. he never really did care, until he realized how much pain she was feeling on the inside because of the people she killed. he noticed her face and frowned at her.*
are you feeling allright there ginny? *he asked her. he knew it was no use to suggest going to the hospital wing, but he would still ask if he could do anything if in fact she was sick.*
"The world is not as black and white as good or bad." She said, paling again.
"Some were...bad." She said, slowly, trying to stop the dizzy feeling she was getting.
"Most were both." She rubbed her forhead, closing her eyes against a wave of nausea.
"And a few...were good."
oh. i see. so you should too! if most of these people were...well bad...then you've done nothing wrong! they deserved to die! and the so called boths, well since they couldn't decide you did for them. *sirius smiled then sighed and frowned.* and the good ones...that im sure was just an accident or something...
*sirius placed his hand on her shoulder.* ginny, are you sure you're allright? im really getting worried. *sirius was worried for her now...*
Ginny frowned, "No accident." She said, before she went to stand.
"Ok." She said, not able to open her mouth to speak the whole sentence. Her knees buckled, but she succesfully stood.
*sirius jumped up as he saw her have some trouble and yet manage to stand.* you sure your allright? *he said, placing his hand on her back just in case she fell or something...*
"Fine." She said, taking a deep breath. She placed one hand forward, touching a tree and using it to support herlsef. She leaned on it for a second, closing her eyes again, then taking a few steps forward.
She weaved in the air, but was determined. Her alre4ady very pale face became almost white, and started to be a bit damp. She wasn't okay, but she didn't want to give in.
*sirius always had trusted ginny. except in one situation, when she was sick. she never wanted to admit it and he knew that. so when he saw her complexion to the color of ice, he was worried and he knew she wasn't feeling ok.* ginny, please...just be careful now ok? i dont want you puking on me. *sirius said light heartidly.*
She nodded, then shook her head, frowning at another wave of dizzyness.
She took a few more steps, summoning up strength, then took a few quick steps. She was now several feet away from Sirius, the shook her head.
"Can't make it. Not 'nough power to transport." She said, mostly to herself, She looked at him, "I need yor help." She admitted, weakly.
*sirius ran over to her and placed hi hand on her back helpin gher to stay standing.* i'm here for you whenever you need help.
Ginny nodded slightly at him, leaning against him. She was too dizzy to make it on her own, she just needed to get to her bedroom. But that was all the way in Gryffindor.
She glanced down, realizing what lay at her feet and stretched out her hand. She used some of her remaining energy to pull the feather and water orb to her.
*sirius smiled.* ya know...you could've asked me to get that. *he looked at her and saw her sick looking face and got serious again.* allright, i think its obvious that you're to weak to walk up to the castle...and for some reason i am absolutly terrible at apparating while holding onto someone else and taking them with me...long story at how i figured that out. but unless you want to be missing a finger or two, i suggest we dont do that.
"No, don' worry." She said, clutching the feather and orb tightly.
"I can make it."
are you sure ginny? *sirius said cautiously at her. still helping to support her.*
She wasn't sure, at all. But she had to try. She knew why this had happened.
She had stopped sleeping again, perfering to spend the nights researching. And the energy she had stored for these things had been exhausted when she had become hysterical.
well ya know...whenever all my other friends couldn't walk i would always carry them...*sirius was uncomfortable at suggesting this because usually he would just sweap them off there feet when they least expected it. but he knew ginny, so he didn't want to surprise her like that and have her flip out on him again.*if your to weak, im sure i can hold you...
Ginny shook her head, giving him a weak smile, "I doubt it. Too heavy now." She said, half joking. She stumbled forward slowly.
*sirius smiled.* uh, ginny. i've lifted a lot heavier girls and objects bigger then you. beleive me, i can lift you. *he looked at her, she looked a little bigger then cho but smaller then sarah. easy...*
Ginny shook her head, suddenly scared, "No. Not a good ide." She said, and if it was possible, she'd have grown even paler.
*sirius looked at her...* ginny, please...i know you maybe dont want to. but if you keep up like this you'll faint! *sirius knew he could do it. he wasn't suptrised that ginny wouldn't let him. he knew that ginny didn't like to admit when she needed help and other things like that...so he kept pushing to try and convince her.*
She leaned against him for a moment more, her head resting on his shoulder for a second while she waited for dizzyness to pass. Then she straightened, "No, you can't..."
*sirius smiled weakly to her.* allright then, i guess i should probably get going. *he turned and started walking slowly up to the castle...*
"Wait..." Ginny said, rubbing her forhead, "I...d**n you..." She muttered at him. She knew she wouldn't make it up on her own, "Fine..."
*sirius smiled he knew she would eventually crack. i mean, it WAS Ginny, in the end she would always admit it. he turned and walked up to her.* i'll carry you to the castle...but first, what do you say? *sirius wanted...sirius had to mess with her a little. he couldn't just let her have her way.*
(perrty please! lol)
She just looked at him, pink patches appearing on her cheeks.
"Forget it." She muttered, avoiding his eyes.
*sirius smiled and walked over to her. looking in her eyes.* come on ginny, you know you need help getting there...i cant get you up to the castle so come on, just say the magic word...*sirius loved taunting her. he was saying all of the in a mesmorizing voice just to frick with her.*
((just to 'frick' with her. lolz.))
"No." She said, placing a hand on his chest to shove him away. But it was useless and she almost fell backwards.
(lol i wanted to say the f word but i never know how to say it so it doesnt show up as a restricked word.)
*sirius grabbed her hand and hoisted her into his arms. cradeling her like he would always pick up sarah. he was right, heavier then cho but lighter then sarah.* ya know, i woulda just done this if you said please. *he smiled and whispered in her ear.* i told you i could.
She leaned her head against his shoulder, closing her eyes. She didn't say anything, but at least she was getting a bit of color back.
*sirius sighed and started walking up to the castle. it was easy going until he reached the final steps leading into the castle. by the time he had walked into the great hall he was slighly warn out but not to badly. he sat her down on the stairs then sat next to her.* there now, that wasn't to hard now was it? *he smiled. she looked a little better but to him it looked like she was still about to throw up.*
She put her head on her knees closing her eyes, "I'll be alright. I just need some rest." She told him.
*sirius smiled and rubbed her back lightly.* ya, that should help you.
"Let's hope so. But I only have enough time for a short nap." She said, looking at her watch with sadness.
why is that? *sirius said to her. he knew that it would probably take longer then a 'short nap' to get her back to normal.*
"I gotta read." She muttered.
ah, of course...ya know i swear your just like Al. only he reads so much that he enjoys it...AND he knows when to stop.
She shook her head, "No. I have to know more. There's only a limited time..."
((Join the Numbness one, it's kinda important to Ginny's behavior lately.))
a limited time? before....before what? *sirius said. he stopped massaging her back, he wanted to know what she had meant.*
(allright. i have to read it then...)
"You can't know yet." She said, rubbing her eyes. "You'll know soon enough."
*sirius frowned and swallowed hard.* ok then...*he still wanted to know, but he didn't dare press the matter further. ginny was tired as he could obviously tell so he didnt want to get her mad because he didnt know what she was fully capable of and he wasnt in the mood to see. so he sat there and began lightly rubbing her back again.*
"You are much too nice to me." Ginny told him, closing her eyes, "I don't deserve it, but thank you."
*sirius smiled and rapped his arm around her.* you deserve more niceness then anyone could possibly give to you. *sirius said in her ear.*
"No, I'm afraid not." She said. And although she was still pale, she stood up and began making her way up the steps.
*sirius sighed.* ya know...i hate it when you dont give yourself enough credit.
"Many people say that." Ginny said, carefully stepping up the steps.
*sirius smiled and followed after her. catching up easily. he went her pace up the stairs.* well its true.
She glanced at him, raising her eyebrows, "Interesting."
(wet hair, cold weather, not the best idea for me right now is it? lol)
*sirius smiled at her.* seriously though, you are such an amazing person. you just can't see it i guess. or you chose to hide it from yourself. either way your dumb. *sirius laughed and stood on the stairs.*
"I am pretty d**n stupid." She agreed.
then lets make a club of stupid people. *sirius smiled.*
She smiled weakly at him, "A pretty big club..." She said, leading him into the Gryffindor common room.
*sirius smiled.* ya it would be big.
She sat down on a couch, laying her head down on the arm and closing her eyes for a moment.
*sirius sighed.* well then i guess i'll let you sleep for a bit. *truthfully he didnt want to leave because he had nothing else to do, but he knew she needed her sleep.*
"I'm not sleeping." Ginny said, her words running together slightly, "I don't sleep well."
*sirius smiled.* oh...well i should still probably leave you in peace...
"If you wish." Ginny mummbled.
*sirius sighed.* well, ya know...i should probably keep you company so you dont get lonely and all. *in truth, he didnt have anything to do. he was bored with the castle.*
Ginny gave a small nod, half dozing. She was telling thr truth when she said she ddn't sleep well. It was because she never felt safe enough to sleep. But she was able to doze, as long as she was generally consious of her surroundings.
*sirius smiled and sat down on a comfortable chair near the fire. he was very cold.*
(like very very cold. i cant feel my hands in real world right now...)
((me either and it sucks for typing))
Ginny shiovered, but not from an outward cold. Something inside her was chilling her, and it was obviouse from her violent shovers that she couldn't control it.
*sirius had been glancing at the fire nearby when he saw just out of the corner of his eye, ginny, shivering. he looked at her.* ginny, are you ok?
She hugged herself, and nodded, keeping her eyes closed. Still she shivered.
*sirius knew better then to beleive her. but he leaned back. seeing how long she could last.*