=[Based at ..Ginny's house? Say they (Ginny, Xaver and Cody) were staying there? This is open, though I have a plan for it. Anyone can join, so long as they make a reason for being at Ginny's (&Xaver's =) ) in the middle of the night.]=
Xaver hadn't been able to sleep for days.
It was wearing on him - the constant fear, that if indeed he closed his eyes at night, and let sleep carry him to his dreams... That he would see, what he really had no want to see.
His brother had been there, when Xaver had first awoken, beneath the cold, ruthless rain - and that could mean a number of things. Xaver had learned real quick, that there really was no end to how far his brother would go. To the extent his brother would make, to cross that line. Hell - he'd killed their baby sister.
He hadn't gone to bed yet - not since he'd started having dark visions...
And slowly, his lack of sleep and care for his health was beginning to take a toll on his creature.
After Ginny and Cody had gone up to bed – Xaver swore he'd be up soon – he made into the kitchen, padding slowly around the table, lifting his arms high, and removing his black shirt, smooth, fit, hard muscle moving in his powerful creature, beneath the healthy bronze of his skin, revealed a piece of naked flesh at a time. He deposited the shirt into a dark pool upon the countertop, turning his back on it, and planting his palms behind him on the counter edge, leaning back, and crossing his legs at the ankle.
He tipped his head back, closing his eyes, and he sighed, as, with a soft simmer of released magic, the enormous entities of his wings suddenly materialized behind him, glorious as ever. The tile was cool against his bare feet – he was now clad in only black sweatpants, that clung loosely to his hips.
Who was he kidding?
Not anybody that mattered.
And definitely not himself.
..What a headache.
Maybe he had changed more than he realized, when he'd been away.
For three years.
Three years that he'd never get back.
Xaver pulled a rare face that most, in all their lives, couldn't fathom, let alone see, letting his head fall, as raw frustration, and pain, and sorrow ravaged him, the emotions clear as day upon his handsome features. In the solitude of the kitchen, unshed tears sprung to the corners of his eyes, though he fought them away quickly, roughly, opening his eyes and pushing from the counter, clenching his jaw against the tide of emotions threatening to swallow him.
His head ached with every movement, wearing him down step for step until solace upon the couch was the only thing fathomable.
Just for the moment.
He laid back on the couch, his wings open beneath him, one spread out onto the floor, and the other draped lazily over the back of the couch, his legs hanging over the arm of it, from the calves down, one arm crossing his muscled abdomen, and the other tucked behind his head, he stared at the ceiling.
He didn't want those nightmares.
...Just not the nightmares...
..Not the night...mares........
It was only a few moments before sleep stole his thoughts, and he was motionless, falling into the dream-world he was so wary of.
It didn't start off instantly.
For a former combat-trained warrior, he always spoke too much in his sleep, where a grunt was too much...
Over time, he'd taught himself into silence...
Though it only lasted a little while, anymore.
Soon it was sporadically twitching. Groaning.. And a sheen of cold, nervous sweat, that coated his tense, stiff form. His hands clenched into fists, his features locked into an expression of pain – pain that wreaked physically, and mentally.
"Mhnnffmm...."
He mumbled, his tones low, but almost panicked breathy, as he twitched, shielding his eyes with his arm, though against nothing..
"NO!"
At first strongly... Then with a lot less conviction...
"N-no.."
He tossed, and jerked, as if was painful to do so.
"S...st-..."
Xaver whispered a few choice words in his own language, turning his head. Dead asleep... though that was what he'd been afraid of, all along.
Ginny was quiet the opposite of Xaver. She had never slept well, dreams of her past would too often follow her. Ginny was a guilty person. But this night was diffrent, and she had gone to bed, falling into a soft slumber almost as soon as her head hit the pillows.
But Xaver's moans awoke her now, and she quietly sat up, first trying to figure out the noise, and second trying to read the clock. Finally, she pulled herself from bed, walking down the soft, carpeted hall to the living room, where she saw Xaver's sleeping form.
Ginny watched him for a long moment, regarding his handsome body, but thinking more about Xaver himself. She knew he felt bad about missing three years of his son's life. But Ginny also knew there had to be a reason, one that Xaver had had no control of, or he would have come back long ago.
She sighed, going to get a dry towel and gently mopping up the sweat on his face and neck. She sat beside his wing on the floor, carefully soothing his body. She said nothing, thinking he was too deeply asleep to hear her.
[OMG MY COUSIN'S BEING BORN!!! I'm off to the delivery room!! XDXDXDXCD]
And he was, wasn't he?
He hadn't reacted to her approaching, or even to her touching him, besides his nervous twitches calming slightly. It was an automatic reaction – he recognized her, without actually recognizing her.
He squeezed his eyes shut, after a pause, hitching a breath, before he gave a low, quiet moan, almost a sob, his fingers twitching oddly.
There were many things the Fallen lord regretted.
But, more specifically, many things his memory had blotted out – and he didn't remember...
"Gin..."
Mira slipping down a tree outside walked quietly towards the door of the house debating whether or not she should trouble people at such late hours.
((Have fun!))
At her name, she looked up, wondering what his dream was about. She wouldn't wake him, not yet. Bad dreams were a part of life, and one might as well finish the dream and deal with it then never finish the dream.
[XD OHMY. She. Is. Beautiful. ;D Now.. To be completely opposite... ]
It was the ultimatum of a black abyss.
The night sky above them was starless, the cloud-cover low, and heavy, the moon dampered and blotted out. The wind brought the cries of a chilly earth, cold, and relentless, seeping through clothes and armor, and skin, and bone. It was raining, lightly, heavy droplets whipping about, turning the soft earth below, into mush, that clung and sucked with each lagging, grueling step.
"C'mon, 'Aver, it's only a little ways more..."
Xaver moaned, softly, his face drawn into a painful expression.
It was Kylie.
Little Kylie, her hand clasped in his, of which was adorned with a fingerless, torn glove, stained with fresh blood. Her pale skin stood out in contrast to him, her bright blue eyes wide, with both worry, and fear. She tugged at him, her eyes pleading. Just a little more. Just a little ways, right?
"Xaver PLEASE!"
Looking at her, she didn't look any different. The same long, wavy raven hair, puffy dark blue dress that hung over knees that were bruised, scratched, and muddy. She looked....
She looked alive.
He tossed, a certain ashen tone taking to his skin, feeling, despite his sleeping state, physically sick. Xaver shivered, shaking his head, grunting whispers as he turned his head now, burying his face into the back of the couch.
It was crazy...
Had to be crazy...
She tugged at him again, and he followed, gripping her little hand, allowing her to lead him, and fighting off the agony of continuing to follow. Continuing to move.
"P-please, 'Aver. Please make haste! Time!"
What was this? Tears stained her young face now, though Kylie made no attempt to brush them away. She pawed at his hand, tugging at him to hurry - to go faster... But it was so hard to move... So hard to lift his legs, and plant one before the other. Why the haste? Why the tears? He didn't understand, but there would be no questions... Just walking. Just moving.
..Was this death?
Xaver twitched, oddly.
He looked at her. The ideal Fallen princess. His father's only prodigy. The little girl that had been forced to conform and accept the ways the former king had told her to. Who had rebelled, and come to him... Who was DEAD.
"I TOLD YOU TO HURRY!"
She looked back at him, continuing to walk, as he tried to, her eyes changed a wicked, glossy black, eyelids gone, lips cracked and bleeding, stretched into a grin over a line of even, fanged teeth, her skin stretched tightly over the structure of her face, her nose absent, leaving a gaping hole in the center of her face. She hissed at him, cursing, in a tone that should never have reached a little girl's ears, let alone come from her mouth..
Xaver thrashed, screaming now, his tones low, and tortured, his hands gripping his hair, pulling at it, self-consciously trying to wake himself.
Kylie made a phantom of a laugh, cracking her neck to the side slightly, and looking foreword again, shaking her head, looking down, before she looked back, and her features had returned to their norm, though the skin of her forehead was peeling, like a mask, folding over, dead, rotting skin beneath showing in minute pieces at a time.
"Help me 'Aver! I'm not dead! SAVE me!"..
She twitched, her neck jolting to the side, becoming stiff, before her mouth parted again, her jaw swinging oddly, unhinged, and she suddenly appeared in front of him - her hand drilled into his chest, until she ripped backwards, gripping his heart, and a few choice intestines.. She twitched madly, and jumped on him...
..and Xaver woke up, still screaming, thrashing, rolling off the couch, narrowly missing Ginny, standing and backing away so fast he bumped into everything in his past, still yelling, backing up until he rammed himself, squashing his wings, into the wall, his hands clawing over his chest like mad, trying to shake off the sick, disturbed essence that literally seemed to linger. Unchecked tears stained his face and blurred his eyes, as he continued to swat at himself, spooked beyond belief..
When Xaver fell, Ginny jumped up, paling as he screamed. Her first thought was of her son, so she threw a sheild up around his room. Then she hesitently started towards Xaver, "Honey, hush! It was just a dream!"
"N-no!"
He beat at his chest and abdomen, swatting, and scratching, trying to rid himself of the very real, violating feeling, shaking his head violently.
"No! It's.. - she's... Ma soeur! C'est folle.. Mais.."
He continued to thrash about, his wings beating nervously, his eyes wild..
"Xaver! Calm, please. Your going to wake up Cody!" Ginny took another step closer, worried greatly.
Xaver bit his hand, digging his teeth into his palm just beneath his thumb, squeezing his eyes shut.
He saw her face.. evil, and mutilated, and childish, when he closed them, and he shook his head again, opening his eyes and throwing his head back, his arms loose at his sides.
"She's dead.." he said between breaths. "She... has to be."
Mira debating in her head heard the crashing and opened the door, stepping inside. She saw Xavier mad and Ginny panic striken.
Instantly, Ginny understood who he spoke of, and she took another step, reaching her hand out and touching his arm.
"Baby, shhh..." She said, her hand reached up and gently touching his face, "It's okay. It was a dream, only a dream."
At first, he shivered beneath her touch, his senses still on edge, and nervous, though he stilled somewhat with her presence.
He tilted his face into her hand, then shook his head, slowly.
"Yes, I-.. But.. My ..'dreams'.. what if it wasn't?!"
He ran his hands over his bare chest, unable to shake the feeling, his skin cool and damp beneath his fingers - goosebumps splayed over his skin.
"I.. mean not all of it.. but-.."
He shook his head again, not even noticing Mira enter, which was a testiment to his upset. He could still feel her inhuman, little fingers gripping his hand, trying to pull him foreword. The fingers that had turned into claws, and had raked a gaping hold in his chest..
Xaver looked down at himself, shivering, running his hand over his heart, the beat pounding against his palm like a heavy, quick drum.
"Shhh..." Ginny said, placing her other hand over his, over his heart.
"It was a dream. A bad dream, nothing else. As sad as it is, she's gone. We buried her, remember? And if she wasn't she wouldn't do anything to hurt you."
Ginny had no clue what the dream had been about, but she grasped the general idea.
"She loved you, baby. Everything will be fine. It was only a dream."
"I.. I ..know.. But.. What if?..."
Her face flashed before him, the young, familiar ...mutilated corpse.
Xaver shuddered.
"I've ...been afraid, Love. Afraid of seeing what I have forced myself not to remember, over the past years.. What if..?"
NO.
God, No.
Xaver shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut.
"Darkness, make it only a dream..."
Her hand went from his hand to his hair, the base of his neck and pulling his head closer. She pressed her forehead to his, watching his closed eyes.
"Shhh, this time, I will assure you what happened is the truth. I wouldn't lie to you."
His eyes opened, slowly, as their foreheads touched, his deep blues wild.
Spooked.
"I know.."
He looked at her, calculating, his thoughts running wild.
"But what if that's just it?! What if what happened, happened?!"
He didn't catch, immediately, that he'd been the only one to see the dream..
"What are you...?" Ginny's eyes were confused, but she dropped the question, instead, playing with his hair softly.
"Honey, is was a dream. Only a dream. I promise you."
"..SAVE me!"..
He shivered again.
"It was ..real. Too real...But.."
There were so many elements that just didn't make sense.
Why, in that dream world, had it been so hard to move? It had been a familiar, recent pain... Why had his hand been bloody?
And, the greatest - why did Kylie seem ..alive?
Only a dream.
He wanted to believe that.
He had to.
"What if it wasn't?"
He said it slowly, bringing his eyes, finally, to meet hers again.
"What if.. that.. happened?! ..Darkness - I can't tell the difference, anymore, between returning memories, and dreams.."
"If it did happen, and I doubt that whatever it is did happen, it is in the past. You are safe now, you are with me and your son."
Ginny's eyes searced his, "The past is just that. It is past us, as it well should be." She softly smiled, 'Come on, let's get some tea."
At this she glanced at Mira, "You are welcome to stay."
Xaver rolled his hand, the one beneath hers, over his heart, and took her hand, lacing her fingers between his own, and drawing back her attention, his gaze fixed. He had realized, finally, that ..well, a dream.. Ginny hadn't seen it..
"If it did happen.. and I have no idea.. some of it? ..Then we have a serious problem."
It meant that some time, during Xaver's duration of being away.. he'd either encountered his sister, or come that close to dying. But Kylie was supposed to be dead. Death - is final. There were no if's, no and's, no but's, about it.
It meant that she hadn't been dead ..when they'd buried her.
It was a horrible possibility - and scary, because weirder things had happened.
Xaver's thoughts swirled, and he felt sick.
He squeezed his eyes closed for a moment, grunting softly.
"Xaver, if it really bothers you, I have a suggestion. You won't like it, but it would solve your worries." She gripped his hand tightly, "I do know the diffrence between memories and dreams when I read someone's mind..."
She knew the suggestion would be taken harshly, and she expected nothing less.
He looked at Ginny.
She.. wanted to delve into his thoughts? See the dream?
His mind was a scary place, with, or without the relentless confusion. And that dream...
He would be letting her see him, as no one else saw him, as not even she usually saw him... She had been in his thoughts so intimately only one time.. And that had been long, long ago.
There would be no barrier between them - no fascade of a smile or reassuring words he could use...
"Alright," he said softly.
Slowly, he lowered the barriers of his thoughts, of which had strengthened immensely from their already rediculous strength, over the period he'd been away.
Ginny hesitated, "Just to be clear, you do want me to do this, right?" She wanted to make sure he was ok with it. She would never go past his barriers if he was unwilling, it was something she hadn't done in a while, let alone to someone she loved.
No, not really...
Xaver was a man of mystery... Hidden away from everyone, though Ginny was his exception. He didn't lie... But lacked mentioning a lot of things. Usually for good reason.
He unnerved himself.
"I am OK with it. With you."
He squeezed her hand, gently.
"I'm just worried about what you are about to see..."
At this, Ginny smiled, "That's an insult."
"As good as it is for you to worry about me, I find is slightly insulting that you would think I am that weak in mentality that I would fear what is not real to me. I battle nightmares most nights, if not my own then our son's." She patted his cheek, "I'm not so protected as you like to think."
Xaver gathered her hands between his own, and shook his head.
"No, love. Not that. I know you far more than to be afraid of some bizarre.. whatever it was.."
He frowned, searching.
"It has been a long while, since that time in the forest, when we were kids... It's what you might see, and what you might think of me in relative to that, afterword, being what I'm worried about. When I opened my thoughts to you, that first time in the forest - it'd been completely, and had you desired to know anything, there would have been no barriers. Now, it will be the same."
Xaver squeezed her hands slightly, and shook his head again.
"Not the dream.." he said softly. "I've just... done and encountered many a monstrous things.. I just don't want the essence of them to... if I make sense at all..."
Xaver closed his eyes for a moment, setting his mouth.
Half tempted to bash his own head in.
What, had his time away made him word-retarded?
Felt like it.
He couldn't figure out how to say, what he really meant to say... Right.
Mira looked on in a silent shock. She finally managed to studder. "I... I... better leave... You have important things to take care of..."
((Been trying to get on for the past hour.))
Ginny looked back at Mira, nodding to her, then at Xaver again.
"It's okay, baby." Ginny smiled slightly, "I understand. I wouldn't want someone I loved to see all the things I've done."
She brought his hands to her cheek, they felt so cold to her, still smiling. "I understand, hun. I know you have done wicked things, but so have I." She held his hands, watching him with soft inerest. She knew he wasn't innocent, but as far as she was concerned, it hadn't been all his fault.
"Do you need anything?"
"Actually, Mira, could you get some tea started? I have a feeling I'm going to need it." She smiled at her, nodding towards the kitchen.
Xaver opened his eyes, finding Ginny's comfortingly familiar features still close. Her smooth skin felt soft, and warm beneath his cold hands - and suddenly the night felt so heavy... The world seemed so perverse. What he would give, to make the dream not so much a big deal, and shove it to the far recesses of his thoughts, gather Ginny in his arms, and cuddle with her beneath a warm blanket - holding her until they both fell into a sleep that wouldn't haunt later..
"...I know you have done wicked things, but so have I.."
"I know," he said quietly.
He knew Ginny had done a lot, though he didn't think any different of her, not really. He came against a certain stubborn, hard wall of sheild, and, mentally, he sighed, shoving the barrier down. No barriers. It was the only way.
"There's just some things... I'm a very well-abled monster, if I want to be. A few times, I not only crossed the line ..but obliterated it. Anyway - I don't know what you'll see, because.. Well, I'm missing a few years' memory. There's some weird stuff where it shouldn't be floating around in here."
He nodded his head to the side, pointedly.
"Yes of course." Mira walked into the kitchen and began to prepare the tea.
"Well, I'm aiming for one part of your mind, your dreams and memorys are...shall we say in the same hallway." She shrugged, never sure how to explain the mind. But she was smiling, slightly, mostly to cover her own nervousness.
"Come on, I'm gonna need somewhere to lay down. My body will be running on automatic while I do this." She motioned towards the couch, still holding his hands.
Xaver nodded.
The mind was a complex and impossible thing, and he was already shaken up, and exhausted..
"Here's an opportune chance to see how messed up I really am.."
Amusement.
He led them to the couch, never letting her go, and seated himself slowly, at one end, but only he'd swept his mouth over hers, brushing against her lips a most light, tender of kisses.
"I already knoe how messed up you are. You're engaged to me." She chuckled, smiling as he kissed her and leaning back into the couch. She glanced towards the kitchen, then began to explain, "When I leave my bdy, I'm pretty much useless. My heart will slow down, immensly, and it will seem like I'm dead. I'm not." She nodded quickly, "As for you, you will be consiouse and in control of yourslf. As well as that, all you have to do is think and I will hear you."
Ginny squeezed his hand tightly, "Baby, one more thing. Don't get upset."
Xaver grinned slightly, at her comment, the first sighn of a smile since the nightmare had ravaged his thoughts.
Yes, he was engaged to her.
It uplifted him every time he thought about it.
He nodded to what she said, then looked at her curiously, at her last.
"What is it?"
"Exactly what I said. Don't get upset. At anyone, at anything. When you get upset, your brain waves spike, and that could throw me off balance." She didn't mention what her being thrown off balance would do. She didn't think it was important. Besides that, he would only worry.
"Now, relax. I'm going to seem like I've fainted or something. Just don't let me hit my head off of anything hard."
"Oh."
He'd thought she'd been preparing to tell him something. Starting off with a 'now, don't get upset, but..'. Though, really - Ginny wouldn't have done that. Xaver almost smiled, at the thought of it. It was a trait he found most endearing - one he liked, and respected.
She told it as it was, called it as she saw it. She wouldn't try to sucker him up - she'd just tell him.
As she told him to relax, he took down the last of his shields, a filmy murmur stirring, of pent-up, strong energy, as he did so.
He nodded to her - and shifted, bringing her into his arms, and holding her close, but loosely.
"You know I wouldn't let you fall."
He spoke very quietly, his thought patterns low, mellow, and even - and very sensitive. He was no weakling. And, with all his shields down, it was an effort to keep automatic defense system away, and in check. He didn't want her presence in his thoughts to backfire.
She was the only that had ever been allowed to delve into his thoughts.
Ever.
And this was just the second time.
Ginny smiled at him, before her eyes closed, her breathing slowed and she became limp in his arms. Her head was against his chest, her bright hair covering her slowly paleing face. As her body turned on it's automatic systems, she slipped outside of herself.
Now, it was impossible to see such a thing, but anyone would be able to sense it, it was a feeling. Just as Xaver was apt to feel a shiver when she entered his mind, roaming it's halls to find the memories and dreams space.
As far as the brain goes, memory is held in the hippocampus, which is a place in the frontal lobe of thebrain. But in the mind, when speaking of it as an idea, the memory is held near the top. Which was why it was easiest for such an endevor. As far as dreams go, in Psychology, they are thought of as a mix between memories, wants, needs, and desires. But no one, not even psychics like Ginny knew the exact way these things worked.
He held her when she collapsed, allowing her figure to rest comfortably against him, closing his eyes as he felt the slight chill, focusing on her presence in his thoughts. His own power followed her, slightly, a subtle and inobtrusive touch of curious mentality.
One could think of his mind not as a usual series of doors, but of lines of gateways, and safes, all opened slightly, for her presence, though the aura was thick and heavy, shielded to other outside sources.
Suddenly, as if in a movie, the 'hallway' dimmed, and blurred oddly, before returning to normal, a well-worded, quiet curse following.
"SAVE me!!..."
Kylie's voice screamed a sudden backdrop to the still calm of the recesses of his mind.
Xaver shivered, though his thoughts remained composed.
Opening himself to her, to Ginny, was not exactly like letting loose his demons ..but allowing them to stretch their legs...
((This is hard to describe, lolz....))
At the words, Ginny entered the area where they came from, entering his dream. Watching the dream, from Xaver's point. She understood his fear, why he was so freaked. Her body shivered unnervingly, something that happened rarely when she was outside of her body.
She watched the dream, her heart (actually her emotions) aching as Kylie shifted from the darling girl to the deamon that haunted Xaver. She stopped watching the actual dream, now focusing on the structure of it, the details and such.
[eiish, it IS... O_O I can.. "see" it.. Just can't really think it. IDK. Dang-uttt lol]
He sensed her physical shiver, and for a moment, his thoughts stalled, wanting to comfort her, and hold her, and a few other choice things... Distracted, yes.
In own sense of physical thought, he remained focused on hers, and her presence and where-abouts in his mind, though even as he watched, trying to only partially do so (not really wanting to relive the experience), the scenery of the 'dream' changed.
Continuing?
Finishing?
He had no idea.
It was like walking in a film. Watching it play out, right there...
Kylie was giggling, though there was no sound.
Tugging at his hand, with the same urgency as before, but laughing about it. Pulling him foreword over a field of foamy grasses, her short frame nearly hidden by the tall vines.
The view looked away, down, to feet as they stumbled. Xaver's feet, booted as they had been the last time he'd gone into battle, with Aaro. The earth came rushing up to meet him, signifigant, sharp smells - the grasses and mucky, stinky earth. Thick smells. He looked up, and Kylie was over him, twitching oddly, her head her lips peeled back over those rows and rows of razors of fanged teeth.
She wasn't giggling - she was cackling.
She pointed, her head lolling to the side, her eyes unfocused, but staring in the same general direction - behind him.
He looked - and it was a sharp array of colors, before fuzzy, complete darkness...
Xaver stirred, physically, his arms wrapped around Ginny, holding her close.
Mentally, he was a mess again, his thoughts in odd disarray.
Those boots.
Aaro.
His body, back in that field...
((Sorry it took so long))
Ginny watched the dream, feeling a slight change now. She felt Xaver's change in attitude, he was getting upset. That didn't bode well for her, for his mind would close off automatically if he was upset enough. Still, she didn't want to leave until she was able to figure out what the dream was made of.
She had to feel the dream, see it up close, understand it. It wasn't hard to do, she had analyzed dreams before, mostly her own. It was hard to be right though, because of how so many things could be so realistic. What she began to realize chilled her physical body as well as her soul.
This dream was so realistic, it verged on a memory. Something wasn't right about it, some of it had to be made up, but so much had a real feeling. This made Ginny upset now. In fact, it upset alot of her world.
She had seen Kylie be murdered. This wasn't right. What was going on? Now, Ginny's body shivered again, and she felt a wave of panic, mentally.
In the outside world, when Ginny had left her body, her magic had ceased, leaving Cody's room unprotected, unsheilded. Now, Cody awoke, having felt his mother's anxiety. he had a special empathy for her, something that wasn't rare with mother and child. Now, he climbed out of bed, creeping into the living room and watching his dad hold his mom, and someone he had met before-he couldn't remember her name- was sitting nearby. He saw Ginny wasn't moving and felt child like urgency.
Mira set the tea on ths stove and let it be. She then walked back out to where the two were and sat on a nearby chair if anything were to happen.
Xaver fought for calm. His general upset, for the ..finishing, or continuation, of the 'dream', had sent him reeling. He remembered what Ginny had said, had asked of him, and he quickly fought for control, forcing his own state of disconnected mental quiet. He felt her upset, a frown touching his face, and skittering a sensory, automatic reaction through his thoughts.
That must have been weird for Ginny, he presumed. To feel, then to see the reaction of his reaction, to her feelings. Or the way he literally sensed her feelings. Or something of the sort.
-I...- he started, but plainly just didn't know how to finish.
He heard the constant, quiet strum of little feet dropping down the stairs, and his interest piked. He remained still, until he heard Cody halt. Heard, as in his footfalls ceased - the minute vibrations creating a sort of dull image in his head, his other senses filling in the little blanks.
Xaver opened his eyes, and it was the only, barely noticable movement from him, until he raised one hand, planting his index finger against his lips. Motioning, asking silence. Then, he tilted his hand, and beckoned Cody over, gently patting his thigh, on the side Ginny was not already leaning on. Wanting him to come to him.
Cody hesitated, doing as Xaver asked as far as not saying anything. But he felt scared, and he may have been a prodigy, but he was only three. He was afraid that whatever had made his mother fall so deeply alseep would get him. But he ran to Xaver after a moment, climbing up beside him and looking at Ginny's unconsious form with wide, afraid eyes.
Ginny said nothing in return, still studying the dream, trying to make sense of what she saw before her. It worried her greatly, it scared her even more. The dead don't come back, once you die, that's the end for this world. Ginny knew that, but this defied everything she had ever known, ever seen.
(am doing laundry real fast, lol)
Xaver wrapped his free arm around Cody, planting a reassuring kiss upon the boy's temple, touching his forehead with his own, and closing his eyes, giving Cody a squeeze. Trying to comfort him, but being able to put little distraction in doing so.
Xaver focused.. On not thinking.
Perhaps better for all of them in the immediate.
((Wish I could stay on long, but I gots school tomarrow, and it's already 1 am))
Cosy bit his lip, wanting to ask questions, but afraid to speak.
Ginny mentally sighed, and her form shook, as she left Xaver's mind, reentering her body. Violent shivers, as she opened her eyes, she clenched her teeth, slowly sitting up and wrapping her arms around herself. She was so cold now.
Cody jumped when Ginny sat up, startled into speaking. "Momma!"
Mira saw Ginny was cold and hurried back to the kitchen to fetch the tea.
Ginny shivered, holding herself and closing her eyes. Cody spoke again, this time worridly, "Momma?"
Ginny's eyes cracked open and she reached over, plucking him from beside Xaver and putting him on her lap, hugging him tightly, kissing his head and al the while shivering too much to smile.
Mira came from the kitchen with a tray of tea. She also had a blanket which she put beside Ginny. Then she set the tea on a side table nearby.
Ginny nodded as a thank you, still holding Cody close. She seemed to be checking that he was real, subcoinsiously making sure he was fine.
Mira sat quietly and took a tea cup sipping it quietly.
When Ginny took Cody into her arms, Xaver slowly detached himself from where he was, close beside her, rising to a stand, his lean, lithe, powerfully muscled creature uncurling to reveal his true height. His enormous wings folded in their natural habit, behind him, and Xaver crossed his arms, the sinews beneath his now ashen skin, rippling with the movement. He turned from them, walking toward the window, completely soundless and naked, except for the casual, loose black sweatpants, that rested at his lower hips.
At the window, he stopped, opening his arms, and planting a hand at either side of the windowframe, leaning his weight into it, his eyes locked onto nothing, in the blackness, the chill of the storm outside seeping slightly through the pane, and fixing to his creature.
When he turned, the window behind him was covered in a layer of ice.
"I saw her die..."
He raked his hands through his dark, obsidian colored hair.
"I saw her die as if I killed her myself. Why do these dreams keep getting more realistic?.."
He wasn't asking anybody in particular.. He was just dumbfounded.
Cody said nothing, just watched his parents with wide eyes. Ginny kept her arms tightly around him, now warm enough to speak. "I don`t know. What ever is happening, I`ve never encountered before."
Xaver drug in a breath for another line of speech, but forced the words away, taking in the wide eyes of his little boy, and the concerned, grave looks of Ginny, and Mira.
This ..was his nightmare. And he was putting it on them.
What right did he have to do that?
None.
He should have stopped at awakening to the d**n thing.
It had scared him enough, out of his wits, and he hadn't regained enough back to restrain from wakening the rest of the household, plus one.
The fact that it had scared him, period, worried Xaver.
It had to be a dream.
It had to.
Subconsciously, one hand came up, his fingertips grazing the skin of his abdomen. Beneath his hand, scars that had long faded into nothingness, as they were always apt to do, with Xaver, resurfaced with his memory - deep, and raw, and ragged..
Being strung up by the middle on an oversized meat hook had come back as a dream, too.
But that had been real, hadn't it?...
Xaver shivered.
Cody watched his father, trying to understand the feelings that come from him. He wasn't a full psychic or empath yet, and so he would get only whiffs of strong feelings or thoughts. The tension in the room was making him squirm.
Ginny tightned her hold on him, resting her chin on his small shoulder and softly whispering to him, 'Hush, angel."
Xaver's heartbeat seemed to be impossibly loud, but he still caught Ginny's whisper to Cody.
He looked at them, again, and swallowed.
Then he did, what he had become very good at, in his years.
He blocked his feelings.
Cloaked them, and stuffed them away from the outside world.
His tensions and troubles were as very much strong as ever in his thoughts - but his said thoughts, and emotions, were behind shields too powerful now for even Xences to reach, coded, and tangled, and - in effect - instantly hushed. As if he were suddenly, completely emotionless.
He wasn't, obviously, but none of the others could sense it, anymore.
"I guess I'm not too good at handling my own nightmares, huh?"
He said it lightly.
If only it was just a dream...
"It's okay to be scared, Daddy. I get nightmares too." Cody said, then held up his toy, "Here, take one of my toys. They'll protect your dreams." Being young, he truley believed his toys were what gave him plesent dreams.
Ginny couldn't help but smile, softly kissing Cody's cheek, "No, dearest. I don't think they are strong enough to chase away a grown-ups bad dreams." She glanced at Xaver, her eyes worried, but she still smiled for Cody's benifit. She was worried about Xaver's sudden lack of emotion
"What are you doing up anyway, angel?" She asked the Cody, her eyes never leaving Xaver.
Cody shrugged, and Ginny sighed, "Then let's get you back in bed."
She didn't want to stand, she didn't want to move. But letting Cody know that would scare him, so instead she would make herself stand.
Xaver's gaze fixed on Cody, and a phantom of a smile flickered to life over his lips.
Not so much in amusement, but at the boy's offering.
He smiled - but the aura about him remained unchanged. Remote, grey-haze stillness.
He was forcefully withdrawn, and that warmth - the life of the sort of glow that usually was about him - was gone.
Xaver walked to the couch, when Ginny announced bed-time, and frowned slightly at her, passing on that he knew very well her condition, before another smile of sorts alit his features.
"I'll put him to bed this time. You rest for a moment, Gin.. Cody, give your Mom a kiss, quick."
Ginny looked at Xaver, "You sure?" But before Xaver could answer, Cody had turned, kissing her and hugging her and hopping off her lap. He grabbed Xaver's hand and smiled at Mira, and looked up.
"I want Daddy to put me to bed."
Xaver was passing a small nod to Ginny, when Cody took his hand.
He shook his head, the usual rumble of low laughter failing to surface, and though he smiled, the emotion of it was bitten down.
Only to knowing eyes, of course.
To a stranger, it would have looked charming, Xaver taking his little boy's hand, and starting off down the hallway, smiling slightly.
But, for those who knew him - Xaver was a very detailed creature. Every smile, or hint of one, had his own sort of radiant warmth. The warmth was shielded. Hence - missing.
Xaver led the way to Cody's bedroom, nudging the door open with his foot, and then making across the room to the bed. He smiled again, slightly - and released Cody's hand, lifting him, effortlessly, under the arms and planting him onto his bed.
"Under the covers, Trouble."
Cody smiled, snuggling under her covers easily. They were still warm. He looked at Xaver, their matching eyes meeting, "Daddy, are you ok?"
Xaver pulled the covers to Cody's shoulders, caccooning him slightly in the blankets, and slowly sat down beside him, on the edge of the bed, at an angle so he was facing him.
"What do you mean, Cody?"
"You aren't happy." Cody looked at him, concern for his 'daddy' open and honest in his eyes, "Are you scared?"
"Yes," he said quietly.
If there was anything in this world that Xaver could look back on, it was that he never lied to Cody. He didn't tell him everything, maybe, but he never falsified anything to his son. Someday, he knew, he hoped, that would account for something.
"Daddy gets scared too, you know."
Cody nodded, his eyes getting a bit big, "You do?" He paused, then leaned forward, as though to tell a secret, "I think Momma does too. I think everyone does."
He frowned, looking worried, "Why are you scared?"
Xaver nodded, a small smile touching his lips, and his eyes too, this time.
"Yes... We all get scared, sometimes. But it's not if we get scared, it's how we deal with it..."
Xaver, himself.. Didn't really know how to deal with what was on his mind.
He looked at Cody, when the boy made his inquiry, a slight frown stealing over his lips.
"I... Don't know, yet. Much like with your Mom, sometimes my dreams are not dreams at all... But memories."
He looked at Cody, with that reserved, sidelong gaze of his.
"I have a few very, very bad memories..."
Xaver shook his head, then ran his hand over Cody's mop of black hair, leaning in, and planting a kiss onto the boy's forehead.
He wasn't going to traumatize the little boy.
"But in the end, it's just a memory. Just a dream. I'll be OK. You, get some sleep, alright?"
Cody nodded, clsoing his eyes already, "Okay Daddy." He said, then opened one eye, "But if you get scared, sleep in momma's bed. It's big and comfy and nothing can get you there."
His childish thoghts were ment only to offer things that worked for him when he had bad dreams. He thought nothing of the situation of his parents, having never known anything that happened usually after he went o sleep.
Xaver smiled, softly, that emotionless steel waning slightly, though he fought quickly afterword to secure it again.
Wait until you're over it, he told himself.
..It's not their burden...
"I think I'll do that, Babe. That will probably make me feel better, too."
He swooped in and planted another kiss over the boy's temple, and then rose, tucking him in one last time before he started for the door.
"Good night, Cody."
"Good night Daddy." Cody said, turning over and making himself even more comfertable.
In the living room, Ginny leaned against one arm of the couch, holding her head in one hand. She had warmed up greatly, but her head felt like someone had hit her, literally, with a ton of bricks.
Xaver looked at Cody, his gaze falling over his little boy's body as he turned and rolled into his pillows. He slowly retreated into the hall, and closed the bedroom door, turning toward the living room. Deep within the confines of his chest, his heart literally ached with emotion, his thoughts too strangled and worn too thin to be able to absorb the affection for Cody. And Ginny.
Xaver paused as he stepped back into the room, a small frown tilting his lips before he continued walking - and sat down beside Ginny, slowly, draping an arm around her shoulders.
"Cody suggested sleeping in your bed, instead of the couch," he said, quietly, though there was a hint of amusement to his tones. "Always makes him feel better."
"I imagine it would." Ginny closed her eyes against the harsh light that made her coming headache worse. She sat still, calming her breathing and concentrating on making her headach barable.
"I wouldn't mind much." She opened one eyes, smiling slightly at him.
Mira, now left alone sitting with Ginny had looked into her eyes. "Ginny what did you see...?" Those 5 simple words containing so much meaning.