Harry Potter Fan

"Moommmaaa!" The sound of her child crying not only woke Ginny, it broke her heart slightly. She opened her eyes, but it made no difference. Darkness enveloped the room, except for the digital clock. She quietly distangled herself from the covers, slipping out of bed and to the door.

She shut the door to her and Xaver's room behind her and stood for a moment in the dim light of a small nightlight plugged into a hall outlet. She ran a hand through her hair, listening for Cody's cries again. She head him sobbing softly into his pillow and moved down to his room.

Cody lay on his belly, his face buried into a pillow. Ginny went and sat on the edge of his bed, her hand on the small of his back.
"Angelbaby?" She said softly, "Did you have a nightmare?"

Cody let out a sob and sat up, throwing his arms around her neck, pressing his face into her shoulder, "Uh-huh.." He said, between sobs. Simply by her presence, he began to calm. She rubbed his back, leaning against the headboard and whispering to him softly. He slowly began to fall back asleep, and murmured, 'Momma, sing to me...?"

Ginny kissed the top of his head, thinking for a moment. Then, slowly, she began to sing.
"Dancing bears,
Painted wings,
Things I almost remember,
And a song someone sings,
Once upon a December
Someone holds me safe and warm,
Horses prance through a silver storm,
Figures dancing gracefully across my memory...
Far away, long ago,
Glowing dim as an ember
Things my heart used to know
Once upon a December"

Her voice was soft, low and quieting. Even before she finished singing, Cody was asleep, comforted by her voice.

Xaver stirred at Cody's cry, blinking into the reddish clock-light as he heard Ginny's footsteps fall across the floor of their bedroom. Slowly, after a moment, he followed her, a phantom to her footsteps.
He stood in the doorway of Cody's room, unnoticed, watching the scene, his family. Taking a moment to be a step back - to watch, and absorb. It warmed him. When Ginny began singing, Xaver as well closed his eyes, her mellow tones soothing his senses - and when she finished, and Cody's soft, even breathing reached his ears, Xaver smiled to himself, padding to them. He ran his fingers through her hair, and squeezed her shoulder, planting a kiss upon the top of her head.

-Nightmares..?- he sent softly.

-Yes...a malady that seems to have come from us.- She told him, scooching over on Cody's bed to give him room to sit. She still held Cody close, her hand absently rubbing his back. He cuddled closer, warmed by her, and relaxed at her touch.

Ginny smiled slightly at Xaver, -Thankfully, his nightmares are the kind common to children. Not at all like the ones we dream.- She was thankful for this, she never wanted Cody to go through the nightmares she experienced.

A malady from them?
Had he passed on to Cody his habit for bizarre, frightening nightmares..? Xaver didn't know, really. There were so many things, still, so new to him...
Worry etched itself into the tired lines of his handsome face - and he sat, slowly, beside Ginny, his eyes flickering over Cody.

He looked at her, when she spoke to him again, and the tension in him eased, slightly.

-That's ...well. A relief, I suppose...-

Xaver gently ran his fingers over Cody's head, through his hair, and he smiled, halfishly.

-Though, I suppose nightmares can only really be what you think up. ..You and I have seen far more terrors than we let on.-

He nodded, slowly, not really knowing why, staring at the top of Cody's head.

-Cody has been protected...for that I am thankful...- Her voice was laced with sleepyness and she leaned her head against his shoulder, shivering slightly in the nighttime cold. She closed her eyes and continued rubbing Cody's back.

-He knows not of the evils of our worlds. I hope he never needs to find out.-

Xaver scooted close to them, flush against her side, wrapping an arm around Ginny's shoulder, his arm across her chest and his hand resting on her other shoulder, his chin atop her head, his other hand planted on the bed. He sighed, very softly, looking down at Cody.

-I don't know if I can ever be free of my evils,- he said quietly, -but, maybe, someday.. I can be away from them.. I don't know..-

He hugged her when she shivered.
-I want to protect him,- he admitted.
-I just...-

-To protect him is my first instinct...-

She smiled in the dim light, hugging Cody to her, making sure he was completly asleep. She was going to get up in a few minutes, and didn't want him waking up.

-I almost killed that awful Umbridge woman when she took him from me.-

Xaver nodded, understanding.
Protecting Cody was more natural to him than breathing. Both, were necessary for his own survival.

He stilled behind her, when she mentioned Umbridge.

-She. WHAT? .-

-She took him. Hold on, let me settle him into bed and we can go back to our room. I don't want him catching a stray thought.-

Ginny shifted, laying Cody on his side giving him her spot as she carefully climbed over Xaver, standing on the edge of the bed. She reached over, pulling a blanket over Cody and patting his head while he slept on.

Xaver remained mute. He planted a kiss upon Cody's head, and whispered a few low, gentle words, before he rose and waited for Ginny to tuck him in. He took her hand, and led the way to the door, looking back over their sleeping son for a moment, before he carefully closed the door, and padded down to their bedroom, entering, and repeating the process after she'd come in as well.

"She took him.." he repeated, quietly, a frown etching darkly over his lips.

He hated that woman.. Umbridge..

Ginny nodded, walking away from him, "He was playing in Mum's garden...and the Minister came to see Dad. Umbridge came as well, and the two of them saw Cody playing with the elements."

She shook her head, flicking on a soft lamp and sitting on the edge of the bed, watchng him.
"So Umbridge coaxed him away with candy, " She grimaced, "and took him to the Ministry. They had no way of knowing he was my son. There was no record of me having a child at all."

"Well, she wanted him, until he showed his wings." Ginny ran a hand through her hair, "By that time, I had arrived at the Ministry..."

Xaver watched her, his arms folded, intent upon her story.
He shivered slightly, when she turned on the light. Automatically almost recoiling, though he covered it well.

"Until he showed his wings?"
He paused.
Curiously.
"She didn't want him after that?"

Ginny scowled, her face becoming dark and angry and hateful, "No. The stupid bi*ch is a fanatic about anything that might be a half-breed." She spat the word, getting upset, "She knows nothing of true power. She called him half human." She pulled her legs up, crossing them and rubbing her face roughly, "My son is more human than anyone I know."

She was visably upset at the memory, adgitated and angered.

"He's more humane, certainly."

Xaver remained expressionless.
It hadn't been too long since he'd been pinpointed for his own ...breed. Or whatever they called it.
The topic was still sensitive.

He laughed, without humor, and walked to her, leaning against the bedpost beside her.

"Good thing she didn't meet me, then. What did they call it? Full-blooded beast. Rawr."
He shook his head, his eyes dark. Solemn.

"Cody is unique - but as you have said, half of each of us. He is one in his own... But he is very much our son. And whew! That boy's mother.. What a looker!"

Ginny paused, cutting him a sideways look. She tried to keep her anger, but it dissolved when she looked at him and she giggled, "That's not what I hear. I heard the handsome boy took after his father..."

Xaver was one of the few who could bring her out of anger. Or sadness for that matter. The only one who could make her smile no matter what. The only one.

The one.

Her giggle charmed him.
Like warm honey, he noted, he laugh was as soothing to him as ever. As always.

"Mmm. I just wonder how on earth he's gunna deal with all that sex-appeal?"

He flashed one of his now less rare, but still dazzling grins, beaming at his success of a rhyme, before he leaned down, the fingertips of one hand grazing her chin, and kissed her.

((Say this aloud exactly how it's written; And then....*pause* he KISSED her. It's an inside joke, but even those who don't know the story find that amusing.))

Ginny pretended to look worried, "Oh no...I'm gonna be a gradmum before I'm old, aren't I?" She closed her eyes when he kissed her, then puled her head back slightly, smiling slightly, "I'll be old and ugly by the time he has kids. I hope."

Ginny knew what it was like to have a child as a teenager. She had done so. And done it alone.

(LOL dun dunn dunnnnnnnnn ....YEAH! ;D ;D )


Xaver grinned at her, then shook his head, withdrawing, and moving past her. Laying upon his back at the center of the bed, dressed as usual in only his black, light-weight sweatpants, that loosely hugged his lower hips, he lazily grazed his fingers over his flat, still very muscle-defined stomach, absently tracing a long, angular scar that made a wide sort of crescent shape, from an inch or so below his navel, around, and to just below his lowest left rib.
Xaver didn't scar much - mostly due to the fact that, naturally, his injuries healed themselves long before scar tissue set in..

This one, over his abdomen, though.. Was deep. Long.
And signifigant.
Signifigant... because he had no memory, as to how he'd acquired it...

"Naw. Older, maybe. But never ugly."

Ginny turned, placing her elbow on one knee and propping her chin on her hand. She watched him, amusement in her eyes, "Says you."

Her eyes took in his whole appearance and she unashamedly starred at him.
What was there to be ashamed of?
They had, after all, had a child together.

"You know...we never did decide on the details of our marriage." She said, changing the subject, but never taking hr eyes away. She merely shifted them to meet his while she spoke.

Xaver slowly smiled to himself, and nodded.
"Says me, yes..."
He allowed himself to relax, soaking in her gaze without the slightest bit of self-consciousness.

His gaze lazily slid over to her, flickering up her arm upon which her head rested, his eyes pausing at her lips, before meeting hers.
"Details, Love?"

"Well...when? Where? Who?" She paused, 'We have to decide what we want before we tell my Mum...she's going to want a million people...most of whom I have never seen before in my life." She rolled her eyes.

She loved Molly, but it was true that she would try to decide for them if they didn't decide on their own.

When their eyes met, she smiled at him. She spoke in an even voice, reaching out with her free hand and touching his fingers with hers, hardly realizing the motion.

When she touched him, he rolled his hand, lacing his fingers with hers, and giving a gentle squeeze.

"When? Mmmm... Soon, perhaps? You know how impatient I am.."
He grinned.
"Where?... I have no idea... And who? It all depends on what kind of wedding you would like, dearest. Small, simple, exotic..."
Xaver shrugged his shoulders.

Ginny unfolded her legs, laying next to him, one hand under her head, her mouth near his ear. She spoke quietly, "It matters not to me. All I want is to be with you forever."

She gently nipped his ear, smiled and closed her eyes,  "Is there anything you don't want?"

Shivers tingled down his spine when her low, quiet tones reached his ear - and at her nip, an undeniable shudder rippled through him, goosebumps spreading over his naked torso.
"Forever, hmm?"
He planted a kiss upon her forehead, and then remained close, rolling onto his own side, facing her, and reflecting her position.
"I like that word..."

Xaver smiled to himself, bemused.

"With you? Nope. The wedding? ...I don't like the color orange. Or that macaroni-with-cheese stuff. But other than that..."

Ginny snickered, "The color orange? Seems that you won't like half my family then. Not all of them have red hair like mine." None had hair like her's, actually.

She smiled, softly, the fingers of one hand still laced with his, "I see. So nothing orange, and no macaroni & cheese..." She withdrew her hand from his and reached up, playing with his hair and the side of his face, "Darling, you are no help." She laughed softly.

Xaver chuckled, a low, mellow, warm sound, and shook his head.
"I meant.. neon.. neon orange.."
He pressed into her touch, enjoying it. Then, he beamed.
"Oh, you know me, Love. My best, of course."
He grinned.

"What about you? What do you want? Anything.."

"What do I want...?" She echoed his question, pretending to be thoughtful. She met his eyes and grinned, mischievously.

"I want you." She said simply, pushing his shoulder back, rolling and sitting on him, pinning his shoulders into the bed. She leaned down, kissing his forehead and cheeks and giggling softly.

She kissed his lips, looking down on him with a smile, "I don't know about the wedding, my love. But as long as you are the groom and I the bride, it sounds perfect."

Xaver blinked in surprise, grinning up at her when she rolled him over, and herself atop him, laughing, quietly, heartily, when she pinned him.
-Mmm, I want you too, Love.-
His skin burning beneath her kisses, he kissed her back, feverishly, when her lips met his own, his eyes intent upon her when she withdrew.

"So we CAN get those lolly-rings? Stylish and delicious..."

Xaver laughed, a deep, warm rumble in his chest, his hands planted on the outside of her thighs, about her knees.

"Lolly-rings? You silly, silly man." She laughed at him, shaking her head slightly in amusment. She kissed him again, holding her lips to his for a moment and closing her eyes.

Even now she felt the electricty, the goosebumps, her stomach still flipped.

She smiled then, looking at him but also looking off into the distance, "I really, truely, don't want a large wedding. I already had one of those and they are too much trouble." Her eyes became shadowed and she was silent for a long moment.

Then she looked at him again, blinking and smiling, "But my family alone-even the ones I know-is going to add up to at least fifty or so."

Xaver returned her kisses - and, when she withdrew again, and he saw the goosebumps skit across her skin, like they were already fresh upon his own, he grinned.

"A smaller one, then. Your family, some of our friends..."
He smiled wolfishly, and leaned up, drawing another kiss from her, before laying back, thoughtfully, absently, running his thumbs back and forth over her knees.
"We'll just have to think a little harder about who I invite. Seeing as most of my family is dead, one of them is a little deranged..."

"Is there anyone you want to be sure to invite?" Ginny smiled down at him, "Anyone besides your brother you want to be sure not to invite?"

"Let's start that list with most of the people in the Ministry." She said, rolling her eyes, then stopping herself,"Well, except for a few. Sirius still works there, and I want him and Sarah to come."

"There may be a few..." he said slowly, thoughtfully. "I'll have to check their where-abouts, though.."

Xaver looked at her, when she mentioned Sirius, frowning, slightly.
Could Ginny know the way Sirius felt about her?
Xaver didn't really know - they hadn't talked about it much...

Ginny noticed his frown, and did so as well, though her's was one of concern, "What?" She asked, seeing him looked at her. She tilted her head to the side, slightly.

Xaver watched her - not uneasily, but thoughtfully.

"I have just.. gotten a sort of jist that Sirius has feelings of his own for you... I'm not sure yet what to do about it, or what I'm supposed to do.."

He shrugged his shoulders.
"But Cody - he can be our ring bearer, or my best man, even.."

Ginny nodded at his suggestion for Cody's part, but still watched him thoughtfully.

After a moment, she cleared her throat, "I know..." She said of Sirius, "He already told me. You don't have to do anything about it. He'll get over it."

Xaver looked thoughtful for a moment, before he shrugged.
"Alright..."
He looked up at her, his dark blue eyes gauging her expressions - and slowly, he smiled again.

"How are we going to tell them? Your parents?"

Xaver, himself, had no living parents.
So that, wasn't a problem.

"Well...um...heh..." Ginny fumbled slightly. She didn't know how to tell them. She hadn't even told them about Cody until he was 6 months old.

But that wouldn't work this time.

"I dunno....I think I'll just write Mum a letter....then she can't lecture me..." She smiled, sheepishly.

Xaver smiled to himself, at her reply.
Ginny, truly, was lovely. Even as she faltered - she was adorable. His heart fluttered slightly, not going unnoticed.

"I could ask them permission..." he offered, thoughtfully again.
"Your father.. No - both of them. Ask them, old-fashioned-like.."

Ginny laughed, lowly, "That would surprise them..." She thought for a moment, then shook her head.

"No...it's my responisbility, I'll think of some way." She smiled again, then stretched her arms above her head and gracefully rolled off him, laying beside him again.

She put one arm over him, her hand on his chest and lay her head on his shoulder, yawning.

Xaver murmured something quietly, but his words faded, as he continued to stare upward, at the ceiling.
It felt so.. right, the way she fit so effortlessly against him. He sighed, peacefully, laying his hand over hers, and moved it slightly, so it was over his heart, the strum a low, heavy, constant murmur. He slowly traced his thumb back and forth across the top of her hand, his gaze still upward, and slightly detached, though comforted, as always, by her nearness..

Ginny smiled, snuggling slightly closer and closing her eyes.

"Love, I don't know how I lived without you for three years..." She murmured into the comfortable silence.

Three years.
It saddened him, still, every time he thought about it.
"Three years," he said, very quietly, sighing softly. "Three years I was gone. Three years I'll never get back. ..Three years I can't remember."

He wrapped his other arm around her, instinctually wanting to hold her, absently toying with the hem of her shirt at her waist.

Ginny kept her eyes closed, and her voice came soft when she spoke, "Three years you get to make up for..." She said, slipping her hand from his chest to around it and hugging him tightly.

Xaver turned his head toward her, his eyes flickering over her seemingly flawless features. His eyes soft - but wearied. He planted a kiss upon her forehead, the hand that had been over hers resting upon her arm, his other reaching over and snatching up the covers, pulling them over both her, and himself. Over her shoulders, and across his chest.
"Hopefully with eternity, dearest. And only by your good graces, for certain.."
He looked back up at the ceiling.
"Thank you.." he said, very quietly.

"Don't thank me." Ginny told him, slightly stern, "I couldn't have said no even if I'd wanted to, love. You are Cody's father...and I never stopped loving you."

She paused, "I just kept it a secret that I still loved you. Not a very good one though."

He looked at her, curiously this time, when she spoke.
"What did you do.. while I was gone?"

An absent question - he didn't really know why he asked it..

Life moved on.. Kept going.
No matter what.

"I had a child, stupid." She said, giggling slightly, "Honestly, after that I had no time for anything else. I quit all three of my jobs and disspappeared off the face of the earth to finish my pregnancy and raise him."

Ginny didn't mention the three months before that. She didn't mention the nights she sat up reading and rereading books about his race, trying different ways to contact him, and she didn't mention Sirius and/or Conan.

"I had a child, stupid."

Xaver blinked at her, cursing himself with far more rancid words, almost grinning at her blunt reply, though it faded quickly.

Of course.
She had quit everything she had known to be with the child that was, again, Xaver's fault (just not a bad fault).

"Disappeared?"-Quietly.

Quote from: Ginny Weasly on December 27, 2007, 01:13:13 PM
"Moommmaaa!" The sound of her child crying not only woke Ginny, it broke her heart slightly. She opened her eyes, but it made no difference. Darkness enveloped the room, except for the digital clock. She quietly distangled herself from the covers, slipping out of bed and to the door.

She shut the door to her and Xaver's room behind her and stood for a moment in the dim light of a small nightlight plugged into a hall outlet. She ran a hand through her hair, listening for Cody's cries again. She head him sobbing softly into his pillow and moved down to his room.

Cody lay on his belly, his face buried into a pillow. Ginny went and sat on the edge of his bed, her hand on the small of his back.
"Angelbaby?" She said softly, "Did you have a nightmare?"

Cody let out a sob and sat up, throwing his arms around her neck, pressing his face into her shoulder, "Uh-huh.." He said, between sobs. Simply by her presence, he began to calm. She rubbed his back, leaning against the headboard and whispering to him softly. He slowly began to fall back asleep, and murmured, 'Momma, sing to me...?"

Ginny kissed the top of his head, thinking for a moment. Then, slowly, she began to sing.
"Dancing bears,
Painted wings,
Things I almost remember,
And a song someone sings,
Once upon a December
Someone holds me safe and warm,
Horses prance through a silver storm,
Figures dancing gracefully across my memory...
Far away, long ago,
Glowing dim as an ember
Things my heart used to know
Once upon a December"

Her voice was soft, low and quieting. Even before she finished singing, Cody was asleep, comforted by her voice.

OMG i <3 that song lol

Ginny nodded, "I came here, when I was three months pregnant...no one knew where I was, and I blocked everything. I basically disappeared until Cody was six months old. I needed to figure out what was best for me and my son."

She grew silent, remembering those times. She remembered when she had announced her resignation at Hogwarts, how Sarah had followed her, asking why, wanting to know why. She remembered Sirius simply nodding in a do-what-you-will way. She remembered going to her parent's home one last time and letting them know how to write her letters.

Then she was gone. She had come here, bought a house far away from all she'd ever known. That was the most important thing. She didn't want her child to grow up in the life she had left behind. Here was safe, here with scarce neighbors and none of her kind. No magic, no psychics, nothing to taint her son's innocence. She wanted him to be as happy as possible.

And in her experience, magic didn't help much with happiness.

Finally, she spoke again, "When Cody was about six months old...I finally took him to my parent's...he didn't even have a name then..."

Xaver listened quietly, watching Ginny closely now, instead of the ceiling.
"You gave up your life for him."
There was understanding in his low tones, threaded with other emotions he wasn't sure how to voice.

"..He didn't have a name?"

In a dull sort of realization, he knew why, too...

"No," Ginny laughed lowly, "I had some false hope that you were coming back any day..." She looked up at him, smiling slightly, "I didn't want to name him by myself...he wasn't only mine...I didn't make him on my own, so how could I name him on my own?"

Xaver wrapped his arm a little tighter around her, and held her closer to him.
"False hope, humm?"

He said it quietly - he understood that, too.
"I guess it didn't seem like I was going to come back, did it?.."

Xaver looked at her for a moment, catching her smile, and allowing it to warm him like a summer breeze over his seemingly frost-bitten insides.
"And naw, you didn't make him yourself, love."
He smiled, cheekily.

Ginny smirked, "That was the most surprising part to my parents." She laughed.

Xaver looked at her, his smile solemn, but still devilishly playful.

"Mm - that I wasn't coming back, or that you didn't create a baby on your lonesome?"

"The latter," She looked up at him, somehow managing not to smile. Inside, she was laughing, but looking at him, her face showed no expression except her eyes. They twinkled with her amusment.

Xaver grinned at her. Despite her lack of smile, he couldn't help it. He kissed the tip of her nose, and shook his head, laying back onto the pillows, and laughing, his tones low, warm sounds, as they rumbled through his chest, and fluttered out, even though he bit his bottom lip, trying, without success, to quiet them.

"They should know that even you, my love, aren't that powerful. If that was even possible."

Or that innocent?
His grin widened.

When he laughed, she couldn't hold her own giggles back, even though she tried. She shook her head slightly, grinning back at him.
"I think it was mostly a surprise because we weren't married...had no plans to be at the time..and they had only met you a few times." She shrugged, "In fact, my dad didn't even remember who you were until I reminded him."

Ginny was quiet, a smal smile still on her lips, "My parents still see me as I was when I was Cody's age."

She kinda liked that.

Xaver's smile softened, slightly.
"You didn't have plans," he murmured.

Xaver had been going to drop on his knees, and profess everything to Ginny. Ask of her, everything. Ready to give her, everything. Before either of them had learned of Cody's existance. Before he'd gone...
He'd never gotten the chance, after that.
-Well. Until much later.

"Good to know I make a lasting impression," he said, trying a grin again.
"And you're their only girl, and their baby. What can they do, really?"
He shrugged.

Ginny nodded, "I suppose. I think my mum isn't too happy with you still." She shook her head, smiling slightly.

Molly was happy that Ginny was happy, and that Cody has his father. But it would take her a while until she could forgive Xaver for leaving Ginny like that, no matter what his excuse had been.

"That's alright," he said softly. "It's going to take a lot of people time to trust me.. either again, or at all... Especially your parents.. And I can understand that. I hurt you, Ginny. And all I have is an excuse, not even an answer, for them. That I 'don't know' isn't nearly good enough for me - I can't even imagine what it is to them.. Or you."

There was no trace of a smile, anymore.

He was looking at her hair, as he twiddled with it like he used to do, long ago, his head close to hers.

Ginny did want more than what he offered as an explination. She wanted to know why he had left in the first place, why he hadn't come back, and if he had missed her.

But she also understood that he had no memory of the past three years.

She didn't say anything, just closed her eyes and thought about how wonderful it was to have him near her now. How great it was that Cody had his dad. And how much she loved him.

When Ginny closed her eyes, Xaver's eyes flickered over her, the weariness, and concern, and uncensored love, let free over his features.
He owed Ginny an explanation, above all. Owed it to her. If there was anything he could give her, to pay reparations for his absence.. Besides his love, it had to be that. Xaver knew then that he would have to start looking, start searching.. If there was any hope for his own sanity.

After a moment, Xaver pressed a kiss over Ginny's forehead, slipping a leg between hers, and he both pulled her close, and snuggled closer, until he was as close as he could physically be to her. With one arm wrapped snugly over her back, but gently, the other laced with her fingers over his abdomen, her head upon the hard planes of his chest, he bowed his face into her hair, planting another kiss, before, with a slight force of his will, the lights dimmed, then went completely out.

"Sleep soundly, Ginny," he said, his tones low, and slightly husky. Quiet.  "I love you."

"I love you too, Xaver..." Ginny murmered back, already relaxed and at ease in his arms. She fell asleep thinking of his words quietly.

And dremt of them.

-I thought...I might never...see you again...- Ginny's thoughts to Xaver, in the dark forest. He carried his younger sister, having just argued with his twin. It had scared her.
-Nothing and no one could ever keep me from coming back to you, except your own will, Ginny. I-..- He paused, and Ginny couldn't help but speak aloud.
"You what?"
"I love you.... Did you know that?.." She was silent now for a moment, her happiness knowing no bounds.
"Xaver, I know...alot of things. But I didn't know that. One of the things I know, is that I love you."
"I've never said it before, but I don't think any other time before now could have been more truthful..."

Ginny's eyes flickered open, not two hours later. Late enough that it was begining to be early, with light starting to show in the windows. Ginny didn't move, just closed her eyes again and lay there, listening to Xaver's heart, the house, and for any noises of Cody.

Xaver murmured a few soft words into Ginny's hair, remaining awake, thoughtful, for only a few moments, before dreams swept him away, as well. As always, her presence soothed him, at first, and he dreamt little, if nothing. Soon, though, like so many nights before, he was enveloped in the thoughts the recesses of his mind kept hidden from him. Or, kept pushed away.


"PLEASE, Xaver... show me the mercy I taught you to understand!"

Xaver looked down, his gaze empty. Relaying nothing of any thought, or emotion going behind the deep blue eyes that were shut off from the world, with an effort that was forced. The chill about him, dangerous.

"You ..betrayed me. You. You did it."
Xaver blinked.
"You. Of all people. You did it," he repeated, almost as if he had to hear it again, just to make substance of the words. To make them real.
And there was nothing to stop them from becoming real.

"Xaver, I'm sorry! Milord, please-"
"Darkness, Aaro. My position in our world is right now worthless to me."
"Mi-"
"STOP IT!"
"My-"
"AARO!"
"XAVER-"

Xaver leaned down, and gripped Aaro's shirt, lifting the aged Angel, and swinging him in a sort of half circle, slamming him into a solid stone wall with enough force to shatter bones in the huge white wings crushed behind the man. Aaro had aged, significantly, though it was perhaps his age, and wisdom, that had kept him alive through the recent years. His hair was a soft, very light brown, still, a golden hue, his own eyes the darkest of chestnuts, his figure still fit as would be permitted - the wear, it seemed, had run over his features. Darkened him. But right then, as Xaver slammed him against the wall, and pain licked his expressions and brought out a cry of pain, their features were matched. Both burdened, and filthy, tears moistening the dirt that caked their cheeks.
"You sold me out!"
"I-"
"Don't you DARE conjure more lies!"
"I WILL NOT! Xaver, LISTEN to me!"
"What in this realm or the next can you possibly have to say?! Haven't you done it all? They are never going to stop looking for me, do you understand that? NEVER. And because of YOU-"
"I. AM. SORRY."

Xaver threw him to the ground, shaking his head, folding his arms as Aaro picked himself up. Slowly. The wings behind him weren't their usual white at all. They were shredded. Bloodied. Tattered.
"I'm sorry-"
"You are not forgiven, you unruly piece of vermin."

Aaro bowed his head, shaking it, his expression becoming almost mournful.
"I've ruined it all, haven't I?"
"You've done a pretty good job, too."

The old Angel almost chuckled, though darkly so.
"You've too much of your father in you, boy."
Xaver threw a snarl his way. "I am not my father," he hissed.
"Perhaps," Aaro retorted, pushing his luck. And he knew it. "But you're definitely the bastards chosen bastard."

Xaver clenched his jaw, and Aaro cried out in pain, falling to his knees, though there was no visible force harming him. Xaver stepped toward him, and the old man panted in relief once the spell was broken, looking up when Xaver stopped before him.

"I taught you everything you know about kindness, Xaver," Aaro said, very quietly. "Even back in the beginning, don't you remember?"
"Stop it, old man."
"You were such a cold-hearted sh!t back then," Aaro pressed. "You're better at it now. Even Xences can't compare. What. A. Prodigy."
"Quit-"
"Don't you remember?" he mocked. " 'There was blood! So much! And-' "

Xaver's foot connected squarely with Aaro's jaw, and the old man's head snapped back, and he flew a few feet, before landing in a heap. He was slower to roll to his knees, this time.
"You betrayed me," Xaver hissed. "It would be immoral of me to not return the favor..."
The old man was laughing, even when Xaver's hands connected with his throat..


And, suddenly, it was cold.
Wet, hard raindrops pelting his back, and the side of his face, a surprisingly soft breeze grazing his body, as he slowly opened his eyes.

Aaro's glazed, hardened eyes stared back at him, his light orbs lined with a fire red, his mouth parched, and wings still shredded.
Xaver was on his side as well, and they were facing each other, in the exact way they had, when Xaver had first awoken...

It was as Xaver had first awoken, with conscious memory...



Xaver jerked awake, the dark blue oceans of his eyes flying open. He was still in Ginny's arms, though he had fidgeted some, loosening the hold they'd had when they'd fallen asleep together.
He tore away from her then, with no effort to be slow, or quiet, or careful. Nearly tripping over himself when his feet finally hit the floor after he jumped out of bed, he half ran, half dragged himself into the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before his stomach upended, and emptied itself.
Shaking, badly, Xaver flushed the toilet, slumping back against the sink cabinet, groaning.

Ginny slipped out of bed after him, much quieter than he had, following him to the bathroom. She watched him sit there, groaning.

She stood a few feet in front of him, then knelt down, sitting beside him. She watched him for a moment before asking, "Feel any better?"

Xaver looked at her slowly, after she spoke to him, showing no signs that he'd even noticed her before that, his gaze distorted.
"Ugh..."

He closed his eyes, dropping to his side, and curling up slightly, his arm over his head against the early morning light spewing in through the small window.

"The way I taste, you'll never want to kiss me again," he said, hoarsely, keeping his tones light, though there was an underlying shiver.

Ginny laughed, lowly, "Honey, you can't get me to stop kissing you that easily." She absently reached over, touching his hair, playing with it. She looked at him with questionable eyes, "Really, are you ok?"

"Good for me. Very good for me. Yuck for you."
Xaver's eyes, hidden by his arm, fluttered closed at her touch, finding her comfort soothing, though his stomach still rolled uneasily. He began to move, lowering his arm. His stomach growled, as if to voice its own opinion. Xaver stopped, becoming still once again.

"I.. I think I killed him, Ginny. I didn't see me doing it.. But..."

Xaver shook his head and sighed.
It was as if he hadn't gotten any sleep, at all. As if those solid hours had been sucked away from him. Like the night prior. And the one before that. And the one before that. And the next one...
His stomach grumbled again, and he groaned.

"Uugh."

"Killed who, my love?" She asked quietly. She continued playing with his hair, her brow furrowed a bit.

"Stay still, or you might throw up again."

Xaver didn't move. He didn't think he could muster the will to, at the moment, anyway.
"My best friend, and long-time comerade," he said, very softly. He blinked. "Aaro. Who's body I awoke beside ...moments before I returned to you."

He couldn't tell, anymore, if he was fighting to hard to keep the emotions down, or the hot, angry bile...

Ginny nodded once, her eyes leaving his face and traveling to the wall. She twirled a lock of his hair around her fingers, absently. She heard his words, registered them, and amazingly wasn't shocked by them.

"Have you an understanding as to why you would have killed him?" She asked.

"Yes."
His gaze never left her, following her expressions, and when she looked away from him he wasn't quite certain what that meant.
As the dream, or memory, or whatever he was supposed to call it these days, began to sink in, the light-hearted mood Xaver had fallen asleep with darkened with it.

"No surprise, that I might possibly have been the one who mutilated and murdered my old friend?"

"No." Now she looked at him, her own eyes darkened with a realization, "For I am just as capable of doing the same thing. Almost did."

She was silent, the, "And what is the reason that you might have killed him, my love?"

"No."

Xaver didn't move.
"He had betrayed me. Sold me out to someone, a 'them'... and that I guess had ruined everything."
He laughed, and it was nothing more than bitter.

" 'Show me the mercy I taught you to understand,' " he quoted, his low tones threaded with both an almost painful sarcasm, and something Xaver hadn't at all meant to reveal : confusion.

If the man who had taught him the bases of the first sense of real kindness since his mother's death was an old lying, two-faced fraud, then where did that leave him?
You are what you know, and if he'd learned from him...

Feeling like he was going to be sick again, but forcing it away, he sat up, trying for expressionless. Before, he had been a master at it. Now - he couldn't even begin to wrap his thoughts around trying.

(wow u guys r realy talented writers i enjoy reading ur stories very much

((Thanks  ;)))

Ginny nodded, slightly, thinking over what he had said, "Perhaps what he did would have killed you...? Or perhaps, you didn't kill him and only think that because the jumble your memories are in..? Or even more perhaps, he's still alive." Even Ginny couldn't pull off the last one with out smiling at herself, shaking her head for being an idiot.

Of course the man was dead, and it was more than likely that Xaver had killed him.

( Thanks! ;D )


What Aaro had done?
..Perhaps it would have killed Xaver. He didn't know. He had a feeling it was worse, though... Dealing with his future, or the possibility of ever having one...? Something...
He shook the thought away, then sighed, softly, tiredly.

"No.. he's dead. If there is one thing I do know, besides my loving you, and our little boy... It's that."

Xaver slumped, slightly, against the bathtub side.
He couldn't have killed Aaro.
He wouldn't believe it - not until he knew for sure... Even if the dark, sickly feeling inside him said otherwise.

Ginny nodded, watching him with curiosity. He was feeling guilty and there was no actual proof he'd done anything wrong. Ginny understood the feeling, and she worried that Xaver was unduely feeling guilty.
He might have killed his old friend, and he mightn't have. There was no way to know for sure yet.

"Do you feel better at all, love?"

"Yes," he said softly, amidst a sigh.
It seemed the sudden, alarming excitement of the morning had drained him..

He looked up at her then, frowning.

"How come I don't hear Cody's feet trampling up the hall? It's well past dawn, now..."

Ginny frowned suddenly, shaking her head and standing. She stretched her arms and left the room, beginning down the hallway, looking back as she said, "Maybe he's sick from his nightmare last night?"

Xaver rose as she left, following her trail like a silent phantom.
"Perhaps..."

What had Cody's dream been about, anyway?
Some frightening premonition, or made-up horror?
...how come he had never asked?

But once in the hallway, Ginny stopped, looking at Cody's door which had only just a moment ago clicked shut. She glanced back at Xaver and walked, soundlessly towards Cody's room and pushed open the door.

"Cody?"

Xaver followed her still, but remained back a few paces, thoughtful. And slightly concerned.
Cody, it seemed, had absorbed many of Xaver's habits - waking up with the sunrise, being one. ..It was well past dawn - so where had their son been, in that last few moments?
The door clicked, and Xaver's frown deepened, pausing at the opposite side of the door frame, from Ginny, looking through..

Cody was under his cover's, covered head and foot. He peeked ou, feigning sleepiness.
"Momma?"

Ginny wasn't one to fall for it, but she was able to pretend back, "My poor baby. Don't you feel well?"

Cody's tiny, boyish voice stopped Xaver in his tracks, in the doorway. He paused, stalling leaning against the doorframe, his gaze flickering beween Ginny and Cody, trying to get his emotions under reign, and under control. It wasn't so easy, when had recently been so shaken, though he fared well, remaining quiet.

They were pretending?

Xaver watched, curiously.
Confused, no doubt, by their mannerisms, but playing it off.

He moved from the doorway, toward them, and turned, to sit at the foot of Cody's bed.

Cody shook his head, avoiding his mother's eyes. He looked to Xaver then, curiousity written on his features, and he looked about to burst with questions.
But he didn't say anything.

"Well, angel, if you are sick, you must stay in bed all day. I was going to see about taking you to your uncle's joke shop for a bit today...but..." Ginny left the senetence hanging and Cody had to hold his breath to keep from uncovering his own lies.

Xaver's gaze was floating about, almost to a relaxed ease - when he caught Cody's eye, and noted the burning interest behind the young eyes that were so similar to his own.

"Unless you're not sick at all," Xaver put in, winking. "I mean, it is such a nice day..."

Fred and George's.
It had to be.

Xaver smiled slightly at the thought - mainly, for he hadn't seen the twins himself, in ages.

Cody bit his lip, looking undeniably like Ginny now, "I think...I'm feeling better" He said, cautiously, then he nodded, "Yeah, I feel loads better! It's a miracule!" He threw his arms up into the air, waving them around, trying despretly to convince his parents.

Ginny pursed her lips, "I dunno, Cody. You see, someone was listening in on me and your dad this morning, and we can't go anywhere till I find out who it was."

-He was listening...?-

Xaver blinked.
He had been too focused on his own thoughts - his memories - and the physical angst that came with it, to concentrate on much of anything else. Especially, not an evesdropper.
The most important of evesdroppers, as well.

-Yes, now let's see if we can get him to own up to it like a good little boy.-

Cody was bouncing on his bed, thinking quickly, "So if you know who was listin', we can go to Uncle Fred and Uncle George's shop?"

Ginny nodded, "Yes, but only then."

He bit his lip, suddenly feeling like he was being led into a trap. He eyes Ginny suspiciousy, "Why?"

"Because, whoever was listening now knows quite a bit about your dad. That wouldn't do for anyone bad to know."

"What if someone good knows?" Cody asked suddenly, looking between the two.

Xaver looked at Ginny - and was no less uneasy.
He rocked slightly, when Cody hopped up and down on the bed he sat on, but made no move to do anything. Watching, cat-like.

"An evesdropper never knows the whole truth of what is going on," he said quietly, to no one, really. "Even the good guys get things mixed up, and that can be a very bad thing.."

Cody suddenly stopped and looked at xaver. His eyes changed as Xaver spoke and he became a bit more worried. He was silent for a moment, then couldn't hold the questions in any longer, "Daddy? Why were you sick? What was your bad dream about? Who's Aaro?"

Ginny's brow furrowed at the last. No where in the conversation had Aaro's name been said, Ginny had simply known who Xaver was speaking about. So how did Cody...?

Even the good guys got things mixed up.
It was the ultimate truth, really - not only the bad guys did all those bad things... miscommunication, misinterpretation, misjudgement - they were all factors in this trigger-jumpy world. And, said factors were more common reasons for unnecessary death than ever - and Xaver knew that. Intimately.

"Daddy?"

Xaver blinked, shaking off the sudden reverie he'd drawn himself into, and focused on Cody. His little boy.
Focused, and absorbed the barage of questions.

"So it was you, who was the evesdropper?"

Cody flushed a bright red, his ears growing hot. He reminded Ginny of her brother Ron for a moment as he looked down and stammered, "Uh....well...um..."

Ginny raised and eyebrow slightly, "You know better than to evesdrop."

Cody looked up, looking suddenly defiant, "But you never tell me anything anymore. And he never tells me anything at all!"

Xaver fought the sudden urge to smile.
He wondered, vaguely, if the way he saw Cody now, was the way his own parents had once looked over him and Xences. They had been little boys themselves once - innocent, and untainted by the many years of turmoil sure to come later. Mischevious, undoubtedly, and full of energy - Xaver wondered, vaguely, if his father had ever felt the pride, and possessive love that Xaver knew for both Ginny, and their little boy.
Cody looked up at them, and Xaver's gaze flickered over him, his head tipping to the side, slightly.

"I tell you plenty, don't I? And you usually find out, anyway.."

"No, you don't tell me anything important." Cody frowned at Xaver, a bit angrily.

Ginny stayed silent, watching to see what Xaver would do.

When Cody frowned, the traces of what could have been a smile over Xaver's features, faded.
"Don't I, now? Haven't I made it a habit to keep you updated on what's going on?"
He frowned, himself.
"You know I don't tell you some things, Cody - but only for good reason."

"But why?" Cody pressed, pushing his luck. He knew it, but he didn't know how far he could push Xaver yet, and now was as good a time as any to find out. "Why won't you tell me anything important?"

"Cody, hush."

"No, Momma. He never tells me anything important. Like why he left!"

Xaver had been looking to the side, but now he looked at Cody sharply. He remained mellow, his composure remaining, at ease. His thoughts, though were running quickly, the gears turning in his head as he stared at his son, giving nothing away.

"Some things important are dangerous for you to know, Cody."

Xaver didn't know Cody's intentions. Didn't know what he was doing, really.
And that was frustrating.

"Knowing isn't dangerous, Daddy! Why can't I know?" Cody whined, his voice raising in pitch.

"Cody, enough." Ginny's voice was sharp, she didn't want Cody agrivating Xaver.

"But Momma-"

"I said enough. Stop your whining right now."

Cody was silent for a moment, his eye growing dark with anger until he burst out, "No! Momma, no!"

That was just it though, wasn't it?
Knowing things, certain things - was very dangerous.
Knowledge had a very long, and bloody history - being argued over, fought for - many would kill to know. Literally. Many died to find things out. It was a very tricky subject.

"Enough, Cody," Xaver said quietly, noting the darker tint to his son's eyes. "Don't speak to your mother like that."
Xaver shifted on the bed, his thoughts unreadable, but his aura still oddly mellow. Calm.
"Learning is not dangerous - but knowledge is power, and you know very well how dangerous power is."

"Why is power dangerous? Power isn't dangerous, people are dangerous!" Cody said, frowning at Xaver, "People have secrets, and leave you, and hurt you!"

Ginny looked to Xaver, then back to Cody, "Not all people."

"Almost all people! People are mean, and horrid, and hateful! And that's when power is dangerous, when people have it. You said that once, Momma!"

"Angel, you shouldn't have heard that." Ginny said, softly. It was true she had said that once, to her mother, when she had though no one was around.

"You are right."
Xaver was standing then, the transition between him sitting, and then leaning against Cody's bedpost, his arms folded loosely, blurred. He hadn't been thinking about it - and so his movements had been too fast to follow. He looked at Cody.
"Power is not dangerous. It is those people with power, and what they may, and most do, with it."
His features remained unchanged.
"Knowledge is power," he repeated. "And there is sometimes no extent to the lengths some people will go to acquire such power. If you know some things, you are in danger. And I will not have that, as much as possible. You are your mom's son. You are my son. You are always in danger, whether you believe it or not - and knowing some things will only worsen that fact."

"People have secrets, and leave you, and hurt you," he quoted.

Then, slowly - "Are you referring to me?"

Ginny's breath caught, she knew what Cody was about to say.

Cody nodded, frowning, "Yea. You left Momma and me. You left us before I was born, and I still don't know why! You made Momma cry-"

"Hush." Ginny interrupted, "Don't say anything more Cody. Your father had his reasons, and you don't need to know them." She was actually being selfish. Xaver didn't know she cried at nights, almost every night before he had come back.

Xaver had known it was coming.
He would have been playing ignorance, if he would have suspected otherwise.

"No.. Let him talk," he murumured to Ginny, his eyes fixed upon Cody, and not once wavering.
"If you wish to know these things, my son, why, then, have you never asked?"

"Because," Cody stressed, "I knew you wouldn't tell me." He paused, looking slightly ashamed of himself, "And I was scared of you. And I though you might leave if I asked you. I didn't want to make Momma sad 'cause I made you leave."

He continued to frown, "You left us. And you made Momma cry. I just want to know why you left us. Why you made her cry."

Ginny bit her lip to keep from speaking.

"No," Xaver corrected quietly, "you assumed I would not answer you."

For a moment, he looked at Cody - and then that strict composure broke, and his features pulled into a stiff, forced assertiveness, the dark blues of his eyes softening, as if the steel reinforcements behind them had been kicked out. His gaze dropped away, flickering out the window - and when he looked back, that sudden emotion that had erupted within him had been compressed, and pushed away. His creature was in no way cold - just self-assessing. And there was no one harsher on Xaver, than himself.
Self-conscious.

Perhaps Cody was right to be frightened..

"What do you think?" he asked, very quietly. Gently. His eyes meeting Cody's, his similar blues still very mellow. Saddened. "Why do you think I did it?"

Cody was taken aback by Xaver asking his opinion on something so serious. He bit his lip, not knowing what to say, then just saying it, "Maybe you didn't want me or Momma." He shrugged, avoiding Ginny's eyes.

She had told him many times that Xaver would have wanted him if he had been around. But they had thought Xaver was dead.

"If there is anything in this world, or the next, that I ever want you knowing - it is that I have always loved and wanted your mother, and you, no differently."

His arms folded loosely over his chest, Xaver felt a shudder slowly run through the length of him, prickling its way down his spine, and rubbing his nerves raw.
Suddenly - memories floated up from the recesses of his thoughts, and there was no containing them.

"I remember the time before the last, that I was away.." he said slowly. "I had been injected with some sort of drug that to this day have had an uncertain effect. I went to your mom for help the first moment I could, much like this last time when I appeared at your grandparents' home. I had awoken in a Muggle hospital, then.. They were unknowningly doing more damage than help. I was seriously injured, and I remembered little, until much later."

He frowned, darkly, at the thought.

Realizing now, how similar the situations were.

How similar his words had been, upon his return.

Xaver felt sick again.

"I had been fish-hooked."

He knew he had gone off on a tangent - but he didn't care. Frustration was setting in, and he didn't know what to do about it. That was just it, too - he didn't know what to do about a lot of things, and most, it seemed, he didn't even have a choice with, anymore. And, with Xaver, he hated being penned, and hated having little or no choice over his own life.

Cody's mouth opened slightly as he listened to Xaver, imagining what he said. Especially the last part. A shudder went through him, and he was quiet then, thinking his own thoughts.

Ginny frowned, "Don't tell him that! He'll get more nightmares."

"No I won't!" Cody said, snapping his head up, "I won't. Tell me more, Daddy." He said, looking at Xaver.

you guys are really good you should really right a book.

"You will," Xaver said shortly. "I do. Always.."

He sighed, very softly - and slowly, he let his guard and shields down.

It was a very rare, and unusual thing for him to do, but no words would explain.. Only his thoughts.
His memories.
Only that way could Cody's questions be answered. Xaver didn't know any other way. He knew it was wrong, and Ginny would be rightfully maddened, he concluded..
And Cody, he thought, solemnly, would never look at him the same, again...

Xaver's memories, his trail of thought, was almost a physical thing. His unnaturally lowered guard allowing Ginny and Cody to link to him, and follow the movie of his thoughts..




....His mannerisms became less confident, and Xaver looked down. He paused for a moment, then unsnapped the end of the bandage, and slowly, clenching his jaw, he removed the bandage around his middle, and let the soiled cloth drop to the floor, his arms at his sides. At his right side, was a wide, poorly stitched wound, that ripped up into his ribs. Three of his bottom ribs were broken unpleasantly, the bottom at his left, shattered in a few places. If he would turn around, one would see similar damage to his back. For he had been assaulted from behind, and it had gone all the way through him, and when it had jerked upward, he had been ripped along.
What looked like huge claw marks were scorched into his skin, three wide, unhealed burns, starting at his stomach, and running all the way across his chest and digging deeply into his shoulder.

It still looked better than it had.
Xaver closed his eyes, and biting back a murmur of pain, his wings expanded, and came into view. They expanded slowly, stretching, then he faltered, and they dropped back, as he winced painfully. Injuries.. There were many. Long, deep wounds, a few laced up. Why they had not healed, was unknown to him. It was taking a long time, and his will wasn't responding. He petted over one of the stitched, sore areas, and then jerked at a sudden pain, cursing aloud. His sudden movement had torn the remaining stitches. He gave a low, pain-filled sigh.
There were two, gaping wounds on either wing. Punctures. And the flesh surrounding was dark black, unhealthily shredded. The feathers of both wings were matted with blood, cut and torn, jagged, and dull, from their former gleaming obsidians. It hadn't been too long since he'd been hospitalized for a long stretch of time..



"My story?.."
His tones were younger, and oddly different from Xaver's voice in real time. "I ... I don't know.."
He frowned deeply, and shook his head.
"I get.. bits and pieces. Just fragments of memories. I know I was drugged. I don't remember. I don't know. I get hit with violent flashbacks that knock me completely over even now.."
He sighed, uncertain, raking his fingers through the soft feathers of a wing.
"I don't remember a lot of whatever happened between the time I went back home.. and when I woke up in some hospital .. somewhere... I can't imagine what they were thinking.. With my wings and everything.."


The scene blurred.


"I have missed you. More than you know," he said softly.

Feeling as if he'd already said a little too much, he went quiet, not moving away, not being able to even force himself to, but looking to the floor, running a hand through his hair.

Ginny looked at him, and suddenly she stepped forward, closing the distance between them. She placed her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes. Her arms hung by her sides, as though she was too wary to wrap them around him.

"I know how much. Because I have missed you as much. ...I thought about you all the time. I wanted to find you, but I didn't want to interfere with whatever you were doing. When you stayed away, I assumed whatever you were doing was simply of more importance. I decided to just wait for you. But I can't keep doing this. I can't stand loving someone so much, then having them leave me for months on end."

Without hesitation, because it was, so very natural, Xaver wrapped his arms around her, bowing his face into her hair. He gently kissed the top of her head, listening to her.
His throat tightened.
"Nothing is more important to me, than you.. Nothing, my love. When I left I thought it would be a quick, and possibly one of the last of my trips away. I was trying to end my connections with my other realm."
He closed his eyes, and held her close, his heart beating heavily against his chest.
"I was attacked. I hadn't expected it - I was overrun. I was held captive from almost three days after I last saw you.. and about a week ago, when I found myself in a mortal hospital. They couldn't help me, though they tried. A magical healer could not. But only until the day I saw you in the pub, was I even strong enough to search for you. For I knew you were everything I needed. Everything I've ever needed. I would have contacted you, Ginny, I give my word to you. I do not remember much.. bits and pieces.. though what I do remember.. like being hung through the belly on a meat hook.. I wish I would not have remembered.."

Xaver ran his hands through her hair, stepping back slightly to look at her, though just slightly, barely bearing the distance.
"I am sorry, love. It will never happen again. I will never let it. Never will I leave you. For not only be it too unbearable, but impossible.."
He kissed her forehead.
His words, his tones, had softened, his voice husky.

"Just know that I never left you.."


He loved her.
He knew that then, more deeply than he had ever, before.
And it shook him.


"I don't think I could stay here if you hadn't returned when you did. It was getting harder every day...instead of easier," she said, her face against his chest.
Xaver gently brought Ginny close, wrapping his arms around her. He kissed the top of her head.
He was wordless. Breathless, really. Amazed, and humbled, to be with her again. He had missed her more that any words could make up.
More than she would ever know...

The scene blurred again, as Xaver's thoughts rerouted.

"Cody! Wait!"


Xaver stirred, the wild, deep blue oceans of his eyes springing open, though he winced against the lights overhead.

Cody?
Who was Cody?

Xaver had recognized the voice - it was the same that had been a lullaby many a nights in his dreams... Ginny.

He turned his head, though the effects were dizzying, his eyes searching for her - looking, almost desperately, drained, and his shields almost impossibly low, his senses so muddled he couldn't even tell if he was alone in the room, let alone feel anyone out, and recognize them.


It was little footsteps, though. Light feet, and short strides, that padded across the floor, and then carried the attached body around the couch - and finally into Xaver's line of vision.
If his heartbeat wasn't already so irregular, already, he would have sworn it had stopped.
He forgot to breathe.

Xaver knew he made an awful sight, spread out on the floor, his wings open, and folded over the couch and lamp table awkwardly, enormities fitted into a confined space, his figure torn up, and bloodied, and covered in mud... Like some odd creature, a (F)allen (literally) hero out of the storybooks children read. He froze, his wide blue eyes taking in the fresh, similar blues of the little boy not feet from him, the toes of his little shoes grazing the tips of the same black, satin feathers (though Xaver's were inordinarily ruffled, and covered in mud, blood, and unimaginables) that adorned the wings of the boy himself.

However, the boy was unwavering – unfazed, by Xaver's appearance, and he moved closer still, closing the distance between them, and finally reaching out, the soft pads of his fingers brushing Xaver's cheek.

Xaver stilled beneath his touch, his gaze gentle, though startled, unwavering from the boy, until he spoke.
"He has wings...Like me."

Momma?
Ginny?
A mom?


The world was swimming.
He could have sworn it.

Xaver's gaze finally flickered over to Ginny – and the shock, written so clearly about her features, disarmed him of everything he had thought about saying. Everything he'd thought he'd known.

Darkness, what?—
A bout of pain washed over him, and Xaver winced, hitching a breath, closing his eyes for a moment, until it had passed.

All of the powers that he was slowly re-accumulating, were being automatically converted into his healing of himself. It left him unnervingly vulnerable, his lifesources being so low, on all accounts, but he didn't care. Not where he was...
He was healing, literally, before their eyes.
It was a slower process than ever, for him, in his condition, but a millionfold faster than way of a human's healing... But darkness, it hurt like the devil.

"Sorry about your table, Mr. Weasley..."
Well. Wasn't that that stupidest thing he had ever said?!

Cody's fingers fell when Xaver spoke. He took a small step back, looking between Ginny and Xaver with suspiciously. Then, he looked up across the room at a large mirror, his eyes flickering between himself, and Xaver, confused.



By all rights, Xaver should have been dead.
He hadn't even known the true extent of the peril he had been living in for years, until it had come crashing down upon him, just recently. He should have been dead. Or worse. But certainly not where he was now, escaped and free of the wrath of terrors worse than hell. Was it luck? Chance? Whatever it was, Xaver wasn't going to push it.
Not for the moment, anyway... He could barely move.

Arthur Weasley was a brave man, a sturdy man, and Xaver watched him almost dully, as he stepped foreword.
What business did he have here?
...He didn't know if he was allowed to have any business, anymore.. It was just..
This had been the only place for him to go. And, the only place, given his chance, he would have ever gone. ..Ginny...
Ginny soothed Arthur, and more or less called him off, and when she said his name, his eyes zeroed in on her, his heart swooping with the effect of it. Ginny.. His Ginny, for there was no other beside her, and could never be.. Not for him. The rubix-cube beauty, he had once called her. Had he been so wrong?


Slowly, Xaver reached out and gripped a remaining leg of the trashed lamp table, and, despite a sharp wince and a wave of dizziness that nearly sent him sprawling, he moved to his feet, in a slightly closer resemblance to the usual liquid, seamless grace of his movements. He released the table, allowing his hands to fall to his sides, in a sort of disarmed manner, his huge (and admittedly, dirty) wings folding behind him, despite painful protests, their smooth, silken qualities lacking their usual luster and shine. Standing, was a feat in itself, given his condition - though the wound at his side, from where it had been a gaping and mortally wounding injury before, was still long, but now it was a very shallow, graze of a cut, despite the mess of blood that already stained his skin.


"That was my daddy's name."
His heart had jumped before.. But this time, Xaver swore it had stopped.

Xaver had a son?
A little boy?
The little boy?
It wasn't unbelievable, but Xaver found himself in shock, gaping, almost. Shaking, slightly.



Xaver had had a family, once upon a time. A mother, a father, a darling little sister, and yes, perhaps a wretched twin brother, but a family all the same... And he had loved them.
Cherished them.
Family had always been the most important factor in his life - a trait his mother had adored, and perhaps passed down, herself, for his father hadn't been much of a homely creature. His mother had passed on, and his father had followed, when Xaver had been enrolled in Hogwarts. And then, one day, not much longer, Xences had forever severed the bond of being anything remotely close to family, to Xaver. He had killed - murdured - their little sister, Kylie. The little girl that Xaver, himself, had more, not even less, raised, after their mother had passed away.
Kylie had stuck to him like glue, and it was that way for years, the relationship between them more like father and daughter, than brother and sister. He had loved her dearly and losing her, had been the harshest of blows. It had been like losing a sibling, and a child, in one... She had been his last semblance of family, too.

That had been a long time ago...

"Was your daddy's name?" he asked softly..
"Yup. He was nice. I think." He smiled at Xaver again, "But Momma doesn't know what happened to him. She thinks he's gone forever..."

They blurred.

Xaver gripped the couch, leaning his weight into it for stability, looking up as he heard her soft footfalls, his eyes lingering, and taking in the sight of her - her, Ginny, being everything, and the only, that he had ever dreamed of. There were, and had always been, desires - temptations - but none so strong, for him, as the way she smelled.. The way she fit, so perfectly, in his embraces - the way only she could steal his kisses, his heart, and jumble his thoughts without even one of her own.
She pulled out a long feather - one that had, no doubt, been formerly attached to his creature, and he stared at it, for a moment, before meeting her eyes.



"Cody?.." he murmured softly.
It took far greater effort than Xaver would ever had admitted, but, despite the thready weakness of his magics, he strengthened his telepathy, and found Cody's thoughts, his own link not intruding, but a warm, familiar presence to the boy. He delved into Cody's thoughts, creating a bond, with his own power encasing them both, protectively, as he reached out to him.

-I did come back, you know.. It took me a while.. Too long.. But I did come back, Cody. And I am very sorry that I have missed you, all this time... Your mother is not ashamed of you. If there is one thing I could tell right off, it was of how proud she was of you.. How protective she is over you.-


He looked at Ginny, as he mentally spoke to Cody, and, one hand gripping the couch, he opened the other, offering himself, and his embrace..

Ginny chewed her lip, hesitating, and Xaver was surprised his heart didn't burst, for how hard it was beating in the confines of his chest, thudding rapidly against the cage of his ribs and working up a storm in his thoughts. Finally, she moved to him, and he wrapped his arm around her middle, closing the space between them and bringing her flush against the hard planes of his body, forgetting his shirtless-ness, and the injuries that, though in a majority were mostly healed, but had just earlier nearly been the closure of his life. He bowed his head, slowly pressing his face into the curve of her shoulder, breathing in her soft, familiar scent, the power of her presence nearly pushing him over the edge. He fought the tide of emotions brutally, keeping his composure in the end, though what he really wanted to do was bawl. Gently, after a moment, he raised his head, planting a soft, loving kiss upon the top of hers.

"I, am so sorry Ginny. I'm sorry I've been away for so long. ...I've missed you so much."
Xaver gathered her closer still, into a squeeze of a hug, with whatever strength he could muster, in the moment, his one hand still firmly locked onto the back of the couch.
"I don't know what will happen, baby, but I love you... And I'm truly sorry.."
"I love you too. I have always loved you. I never stopped. I couldn't." She reached up, slowly touching his cheek.

Letting go of the couch, but leaning back against it as he held her, he brought his hand up, the other still wrapped securely around her middle, his fingertips brushing the top of her hand, that grazed his cheek. He leaned foreword, pressing minute kisses here, and lingering kisses there, over her lips, and eyes, and nose, and cheeks, feather-soft, light carresses as he slowly kissed away her tears, trying to soothe her, and word everything he couldn't figure out how to say...
Finally, he wrapped both arms around her, drawing her close again, one hand across her back and the other entangled in the red enchantment of her hair. He shook his head, leaning back just slightly so he could see her. Marveling.

-You're even more beautiful than I remember..- he thought softly to her, before he gave in to temptation, and kissed her.
-I'm scared, Xaver.-

They kissed, and that longing, that hunger, that had been put at bay for so long, flickered back on like lighting a match, becoming a renewed, burning sensation within him. It was everything he never wanted to end - plundering lips, and touches, and a closeness he had missed with all his being...

-I have never been more scared, nor more sure in my life.-
Xaver drew back, just slightly - enough so that he could see her, his eyes fixing upon hers.
"I have missed so much..."
Ginny nodded, lowering her eyes away from his, "But...you don't have to miss more..."

Xaver looked at her, calculating her words, and the weight of what she said. She had looked away from him, bowing her head slightly, her magnificent red hear tumbling down, and concealing her features.

Options.

To back out, and go back to the near non-existence of a life he'd known before, and leave them? To leave Ginny? And Cody? To abandon them ...and his heart? It was all one in the same. He couldn't deny that any longer.

No, sir.

Xaver couldn't leave, even if it came down to it.
He couldn't take it - not again. Leaving her, his love... No, it mightn't kill him, persay... But it would destroy him.

He had come to realize, that with all of his creature - he truly loved Ginny. He had understood it a long time ago... Three years ago... And he'd been fighting three years for his own salvation - to come above the turmoil that had plagued him for so long...
And now, he was here.
In the arms of the woman he loved - where he truly belonged.
He was home.


Xaver hooked a finger beneath Ginny's chin, gently lifting her head, finding her eyes.
"If you allow it..." he said softly, a feint smile brushing the corners of his lips, "I will remain with you. With you both. And love you, like I have been dreaming of doing not only for the last three years – but since that first time I saw you, and your pretty face in the forest at Hogwarts, all those years ago..."
He looked at her, his eyes moving over hers, searching, as his heart gave a nervous stammer.


"I almost blurted it the last day I saw you, and it took me by such surprise I almost seized up...But now?.."
Xaver released her chin, gently trailing the tips of his fingers over her smooth cheek, down, until his palm gently cupped her jaw, his thumb gently tracing over her lower lip, before his hand fell away, to grasp one of her own.
"If there's anything I've learned, while I've been away – it's that there's nothing truly like what I feel.. when I'm with you. I love you, Ginny. And I have never known that so strongly..."

Xaver paused, gathering his courage.

"Would you be mine, love? Would you marry me?"



The thoughts blurred, and then slowed, as Xaver stalled over thinking about breaking the contact. He seemed to force himself to submit, however, allowing Ginny and Cody to remain in his thoughts, even his most private of some memories, the way he felt and had thought.
He forced himself to let go..
He had said once that Cody had a lot of questions.. And that he, himself, owed him his answers....



"I have one request of you if you want to stay with me and Cody," She told him now, her voice soft, but firm.
"That is?"
"You must never, ever break his heart." Her eyes locked onto his, and she gave his wrist a small shake.

"You mean, like I broke yours?"
Don't break Cody's heart, like he had once broken Ginny's.
Xaver felt his heart lodge, somewhere between his chest, and his throat.
"..Do you think I will do that?"

"Yes, like you broke mine."
She looked at him.
"I don't know if you'll do it to him. I didn't know you'd do it before."

His heart gave a powerful, hard jolt.

It was much harder to keep any kind of composure, now, when he felt as if he was suffocating.
He cursed himself.
Hell - who was he to complain? He didn't even remember being gone. She'd endured it.

Like he had broken her heart...

There was no mending that. No way any amount of apologies or time could make up for it.
What had he done?
Everything wrong.


"You are willing to take that chance? With him. With yourself? That I won't hurt you again?"

"I don't know... I'll live if you leave again...as for him, it would devastate him..."

"You can tell me to leave, you know," he said softly. "Tell me to go, and I'll let you raise Cody the superior way you have already begun, into the great man he will one day be. You can tell him whatever you think is best, and I'll not come around to say otherwise."
His heart numbed.
"...Tell him I was the man I was born to be, supposed to be. And that I went back to that life... Leave out the part of the father I was trying to be. The lover I longed to be, again."

"I don't want you to leave. ...I just don't want my baby getting hurt."
"I already hurt my baby. Before I even knew I had another one."



The scene blurred again, fast this time.

"PLEASE, Xaver... show me the mercy I taught you to understand!"

Xaver looked down, his gaze empty. Relaying nothing of any thought, or emotion going behind the deep blue eyes that were shut off from the world, with an effort that was forced. The chill about him, dangerous.

"You ..betrayed me. You. You did it."
Xaver blinked.
"You. Of all people. You did it," he repeated, almost as if he had to hear it again, just to make substance of the words. To make them real.
And there was nothing to stop them from becoming real.

"Xaver, I'm sorry! Milord, please-"
"Darkness, Aaro. My position in our world is right now worthless to me."
"Mi-"
"STOP IT!"
"My-"
"AARO!"
"XAVER-"

Xaver leaned down, and gripped Aaro's shirt, lifting the aged Angel, and swinging him in a sort of half circle, slamming him into a solid stone wall with enough force to shatter bones in the huge white wings crushed behind the man. Aaro had aged, significantly, though it was perhaps his age, and wisdom, that had kept him alive through the recent years. His hair was a soft, very light brown, still, a golden hue, his own eyes the darkest of chestnuts, his figure still fit as would be permitted - the wear, it seemed, had run over his features. Darkened him. But right then, as Xaver slammed him against the wall, and pain licked his expressions and brought out a cry of pain, their features were matched. Both burdened, and filthy, tears moistening the dirt that caked their cheeks.
"You sold me out!--"


The scene was forced then, away.
His thoughts had travelled without his consent, and Xaver would be having Cody seeing none of that. No more of it..
Regret settled deeply into Xaver's thought-patterns, even as he adjusted them. Open, and easy to be felt by Cody or Ginny.

Suddenly,  his mind seared with pain, and everything went white to him, and his thoughts.
It was as if, physically, he'd been delivered a swift kick in the stomach. Xaver doubled over, his knees slamming into the ground, his fingers clawing into his hair, and pulling, his eyes squeezed shut.

He tried to close the link of his thoughts – but it was as if his own willpower was being forced away – and it was too late to close his mind, now. Too late – and the memories were coming. Roaring back – and there was nothing even he could do, to stop it...

"XAVER. Stop it. STOP it!"
Kylie's high-pitched tones screamed at him. She was kneeling over him, her small hands gripping his face, her fingernails digging into the tender flesh of his cheeks.
Xaver gently, but firmly pushed her away, rolling from where he had been laying onto his knees, and slowly rising. He brushed his hands over his thighs, then absently raked his fingers through his lush obsidian hair, avoiding looking at his little sister at all.

"You CAN'T do that! You can't!"

Xaver bit down, hard, on his lower lip, jamming his hands into the pockets of his dark pants.
"I have to," he said, very quietly. "And I will."

He looked over at her as she stamped her foot, not ignorant of her youthful magnificence. She was brilliant, truly.
Her eyes were wide, and wild, ravaged and silvery with fierce tears, her hands now drawn into fists, the frown that pulled her lips down dark, and almost loathing.
"You can't leave me!"

Xaver's jaw twitched – but he restrained himself from giving any more away – even if, he knew, that would have been better. For both of them.
"I have to, Kyles. You know what the agreement was. I go away willingly, or He sends me away. It's not a matter of choice, anymore, but what's better, for us-"
"Don't you DARE speak of bettering for OUR sake, Brother! You don't care about me! You don't care about leaving me! You're leaving me here, alone! And you might never come back! The Humans-"
"Kylie-"
She nearly snarled at him, and he stopped. "They HATE us, 'Aver. After what they did to you-"
"I have both accepted, and forgotten the incident."
"But I HAVEN'T!"

She stamped her foot again, unchecked tears spilling over her porcelain cheeks, and pooling at the soft crevices of her throat.
"I don't forget, 'Aver, don't you understand?! I KNOW! Something is wrong, and you are leaving and-"
"Kylie.. I can't do this anymore.. I have to pack, love."
She stared at him, rocking on her feet as if he'd delivered to her a physical blow.
Xaver looked away – he had to, to keep a firm hold on the lingering threads of his sanity. He fiddled idly with a few trinkets on his dresser, most of the drawers in the tall, dark wood fixture open, revealing the many shades of various articles of clothing.

Kylie sighed, behind him, and clambered up onto his bed, amidst the many suitcases laying open, there. She crossed her legs, watching him as he slowly piled his things into the bags and avoided her gaze. He filled them, slowly – and when, finally, his things were stowed, and ready, he reached into one of the deep drawers, and then turned to her, holding a rather large, neon orange stuffed animal. It was a dragon, of which seemed to come to life at his touch, the beads of its eyes rolling into what could have been real eyes, the fabric of its mouth turning upwards into a sort of grin.

Xaver padded, slowly, to Kylie, and sat onto the bed beside her, offering her a smile that could be nothing more than hopeless. He wrapped an arm about her, his other hand holding the stuffed dragon, and for a moment she remained stiff beneath his hold, until slowly, she broke down, leaning into his side, and pressing her face to his chest, sobbing without any inhibitions, or cares of who heard her.

Battling the lump of his heart that had lodged itself into his throat, Xaver gathered her limp form into the circle of his arms, sitting her upon his lap and holding her, his head bowed into her hair.

"I'm sorry, baby Kylie..."

She sobbed harder.
He glanced at the dragon, then straightened slightly, looking down at her, as she clung to his shirt.

"Look at him, Kyles.."

She did.
He wiggled the dragon in his hand, making him dance.

"Hush, little Kylie,
Let me sing to you,
I may have sharp claws,
and an orange nose,
but what I say is true!
Big brother loves his baby sister,
And you know he misses you,
Next time he'll bring back candy,
and stay for longer, too!"

Xaver chuckled softly, and Kylie shook her head, reaching for the dragon in-between a hiccup.
He squished both her, and the stuffy, into a hug.

"So, with this locket,
I've placed in dragon's hands,
You will always know,
That no matter through what distance, or across what lands,
I'll always be there,
Like we've always been for each other,
You're always Baby Kyles,
And I'm always Big Brother.."

He made it up, yes.
Trying to make her smile. Feel better. Something – trying anything, to relieve a bit of the hurt that he knew ached so raw within his little sister.
She became quiet, fiddling with the silver locket that was the size of her hands, that had been held between the dragon's foamy claws. She twirled it about her fingers, and then looked up at him, her eyes red and damp with tears, and still unshed emotion.

"I'll come back," he murmured.

Suddenly, she elbowed away from him, and pushed her way from his arms, hopping down to the floor, her slender arms wrapped tightly about the dragon. She looked at it, then him, and shook her head.
"I don't believe you!"
"Kylie.."
"NO! I don't believe you! I.... I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU, XAVER!"

"No. No, you don't."

"Yes, I do!"
She screamed it, stamping her feet, tears streaming down her face. Kylie shook her head at him, and backed away when Xaver grabbed for her. He went utterly still when she did so, and she burst into sobs again, turning and wrenching the door open behind her, flinging it wide, and running, bolting down the hallway, away from him, as fast as her little legs would carry her..


Xaver remained completely still when the memory faded, and released him, bowed over his knees upon the floor beside Cody's bed. His eyes were squeezed closed, shutting out the world around him, even as his shields shot up, the protection about his mind that was in place, always, to keep others out like he had just let Ginny and Cody in, securing back up.
Like a wall, almost – that he had built protectively, and effectively, about himself.
And he had let them in, for a glance at the man beneath the said defenses...

Xaver shuddered, against a wave of sudden chill, unable to contain it, his hands dropping finally from his hair, to the floor on either side of his knees...

(yo, newbee. get out of here =) your ruining it)

Cody watched Xaver, his eyes large. He was clutching his cover so tightly that his fingers were white. He watched his father quietly, a million thoughts going through his mind, the major being; 'I never knew he had a sister.'

Ginny knelt down next to Xaver, her face blank. Absently, she rubbed his head, playing with his hair.

For the longest of moments, Xaver neither moved, nor seemed to breathe. His eyes fixed upon the ground before his hands, he built up again the shields about his thoughts, into better security.
Colorfully cursing himself for all of the little he felt that he and his stupid memories were worth, behind the now closed and inpenatrable walls of his mind.

Finally, he straightened, sighing softly, gripping one of Cody's bedposts and rising. The threat of his downfall no longer, now, his mind, but his heart.

He turned his head, reaching up and placing his hands over the back of Ginny's, drawing the tips of the smooth pads of her fingers to his lips, and kissing them. And her knuckles. And the back of her hand - his eyes slowly flickering up to her eyes. His own, reflecting the emotions of those of much of the wild animal he was, confused, and comforted by her touch all the same.
Finally, he brought their hands down, lacing his fingers with hers, his gaze moving, and resting upon Cody.

"I let on too much, I know," he said, softly. "I'm sorry."

-It's alright. He'll forget the majority of it.-
But not all of it. And in truth, Ginny was upset with Xaver for showing Cody all of that. She had brought him away from her world to protect him from such things until he was old enough. He was only a five year old. A baby...

Cody said nothing, just watched his parents, his mouth open, his eyes large.

Xaver could feel Ginny's rise of emotions - and though he did not quite understand what they were, he understood he was the guilty charge and reason of their becoming.
"I know you want to guard him," he said, very quietly, gently releasing her hands. He drew in a breath, slowly,  his gaze skirting over his own hand, as it rested upon Cody's bedpost.
"You told me long ago. I have not forgotten. And if you are angry, my love, you are rightfully so."

He nodded, absently.
"He probably won't forget."
Xaver looked at Cody, then, his reserved, mellow gaze fixing on his son.
"And you will probably never see me again the same way, I know. But.. Do you understand, now, why I can't just give you simple answers, my son?" Xaver paused, and clenched his jaw, fighting the harsh emotions the same way he had, when he had been about to burst with them, with Kylie. "I don't have simple answers. I am always tiptoeing around the lines, trying to decipher between the right ones, and the disastrous ones because they are usually so connected... I don't have any easy answers. And there is a lot more going on, than you know about yet, do you understand that now?"

He bit his tongue.
Hard.
Shutting himself up.

He wasn't good at this, he concluded.
Not at all.

Cody nodded, looking at his hands, "I'm sorry, Dad..." His voice was soft, quiet, and slightly fearful. He didn't look at Xaver, but closed his eyes, taking his time to process what he had seen.

Ginny kept her face blank, but her lips tightened. She nodded towards the door, indicating to Xaver she wanted to speak to him in another room.

Slowly, Xaver shook his head. Sighing, as he caught Ginny's glance.
He swooped down over Cody, pushing away the fact that he was still uneasily light-headed, and planted a kiss upon Cody's forehead, ruffling the boy's hair.
"Don't be," he murmured, quietly, before withdrawing from him, turning, and padding slowly out the door, caught up in his own thoughts.

Ginny smiled tightly at Cody, "Take your time getting dressed, angel baby." She closed his bedroom door behind her, and nodded towards her and Xaver's room. She entered, waiting for him to step in before she closed the door. Not hard, but definetly not gentle either.

"Why did you show him those things?!" She half whispered, keeping her voice down but wanting to yell.

The door closed behind him, and Xaver knew, through the sudden intensity that lit up between them, confined within the room - Ginny's fury.
"Because he needed reasons for the 'no' we were giving him," he returned, his tones that same calm as before. "He is young, yes, but he has to begin to understand that things are rarely, if ever as they seem.. There are reasons for our answers, and reasons for our 'no's, and he needed to understand that I wasn't just keeping things from him because I could - but because there was a lot more out there than he even thinks about yet."
Xaver sighed.
"The world isn't straight, and he has to grow to work with that.."

"He's just a baby, Xaver! He doesn't need to know anything yet!" Gnny raked a hand through her hair roughly, realizing she was still wearing her pajamas. She stalked over to her drawer, rooting through it to find clothes for the day.

"He's too young to know the ways of the world! He doesn't need to know that most evil lies within people!"

"He is five, Love. Years older than I was, when my father had myself and my twin enrolled-- He's is old enough to learn. Old enough to begin to understand. And would you rather us teach him, and help him understand in ways that will leave him uncorrupted, or would you let him learn for himself? He's at that point where he is asking questions.."
Xaver watched her, as she moved to the dresser, becoming suddenly aware of his own self, then ignoring it again. His half-nakedness could, and would, wait, dammit.

"And I didn't show him much of anything too unruly. I kept that away.."

"He doesn't need to know...that much..." Ginny's frenzied searching through her clothes stilled and she clutched a black sweater tightly. She looked at it, but didn't see it. All she could see was her son, her baby. In her eyes, he was still that infant.

He needed protected. He didn't need to know anything. Ginny threw the sweater back down and turned, "You didn't need to show him that much!"

"Well, if you want the truth, I hadn't meant to show either of you that much. I hadn't been expecting most of the last parts to force their way into my current train of thought."
He turned from her, pulling open a drawer in the nearest dresser, and fishing inside, not really thinking about what he was doing - just doing it, for the matter of doing something, and not standing there looking like an idiot..
He pulled out some jeans as he turned back to her.

"What did I show him that really upset you? Because I know you saw everything just as he did. And that was how I meant it - I know you could feel, the way I felt then. And I know you could hear my old thoughts in those circumstances. Which memory was it that upset you?"
He pulled down his sweatpants now, refraining from looking at her in fear he would give away his own frustration, stripping down to his boxers. He tossed the sweatpants onto the bed, and stepped into the faded, dark-wash blue jeans he'd pulled out, hitching them up over the long, strong length of his legs, and buttoning them, the waist of the jeans resting over the toned muscle of his lower hips, much as the sweatpants had done.
He glanced over at her, as he fished for a shirt.

"The fish hook, for starters." Ginny turned again, pulling out random shirts and other items, flinging them aside, out of her drawer as she searched for normal clothes. Nothing looked right to her at the moment.

"And what about that thing with Aaro? Does he need to know that?" She was frustrated, and angry. Her baby's innocence was at stake.

"He never knew about Kylie either...he didn't need to see her screaming at you."

She pulled off the t-shirt she had worn to bed, gripping the bottom and pulling it up and off, flinging it to the side. She kept her back to him as she pulled on a bra and a dark shirt with longsleeves. She pulled her hair out from under it, the red contrasting deeply with the dark colors as her hair swung against her back. She still didn't face him.

"He's just a...baby!"

The fish hook.
Oh. Yeah.

Xaver stilled, however, his gaze fixing upon the smooth skin of her back, and shoulders, as she dressed.

"The memories of Aaro and Kylie I wished neither of you to see," he said quietly, his low tones sharp, and even, as he turned back to the drawer, pulling out a clean shirt of his own. He slipped into it, the navy shaded material cool, and crisp, biting at his skin, of which had grown so accustomed to the warmth.
"That was not of my control. But it was a good enough reminder of how unstable I still am. So I assure you," he slammed the drawer shut, planting his hands upon the slate texture of the wood, "that letting my guard down, and others into my thoughts any time soon, will be the last of any ideas I'll be coming up with."

"It's not like you let us in on what you're thinking anyway!" Ginny snapped, turning and pushing her hair up on each side of her head, pressing her temples and closing her eyes for a moment. She opened them and starred at him, her hands dropping from her head to her sides, making her hair fall over her face. She did nothing to move it, except tilting her head slightly to the side so she could see.

And she looked at him for a long moment. She was angry at him, but for some reason felt like she had done something wrong. Maybe she shouldn't have let him handle it. Maybe she should have simply told Cody he was grounded and not let him ask those questions.
Maybe she shouldn't want to protect Cody so much.

But still, her anger meant something, right? She was right, Xaver didn't tell Ginny much of what he really felt about somethings. He edited his comments to keep her from worrying. She knew that, she knew he played down on his frustration at being gone and not remembering.

She remembered, though. She had been aware of each second that had passed with him gone. She had almost killed herself, literally. And it had been Cody who saved her.
Her angel, her baby.

Protection of her child was an instinct she couldn't push down it seemed.

She was right, and he knew it.
It was perhaps that, that seemed more suffocating than all the other factors.

Xaver was not much of a liar - and definately not one when it came to those he cared about. And Ginny, and Cody - they were the center of his world. The core of him. There was no way he could try to falsify anything, and let himself get away with it, let alone put it past Ginny - but many times, he knew, he had told her things.. But avoided the whole truth.

"It's because it SCARES me, alright?!"
Xaver whirled away from the dresser, turning on his heel to face her. His tones were louder than he usually let them - but that, in all actuality, was a good sign. In Xaver's own twisted way.
"I can't even figure out half of the things that run through my mind, anymore! I am a MESS, Ginny. I can barely take living in my own head. There's pain, and thoughts I don't remember, and I can't decipher what's real, and what's not.. Letting you guys in, to see that? To see what kind of REAL pathetic monster I am?! NO, has been the only way I have been able to hide the fact that I haven't thought, or felt like I was good enough to be a PART of your world, let alone be a focus of it!"

"If you weren't good enough, do you think I would have had your son?! Do you think I would have kept him, and raised him and loved him?! HELL no! You are more important thatn you'd like to realize!"
Ginny was yelling back, scowling darkly.
"Stop being so da*n selfish about it and grow up! Start thinking about what you really mean to me! To Cody! And stop worrying if you deserve it!"

She was holding a shirt, had balled it up. Now she threw it at him, hitting him in the chest, "Open your da*n eyes!"

"Well I'm sorry if I'm a bit selfish about the crap in my head, but it's kind of impossible to not be when there's no bloody way to make sense of anything, let alone THINK about trying to explain it."
That, was perhaps the piece of this mess that bugged him the most.. He couldn't figure anything out. And it had taken. So. Long. He hated it.

"Well maybe THAT'S JUST IT, ISN'T IT?!"
He caught the shirt, when it hit his chest, and threw it to the floor.
"Maybe if HE could open his eyes, and if he KNEW the kind of person his father has been for most of his life, I... Wouldn't mean so much to either of you!! THEN, at least, he'll be safe, won't he? Because you d**n well know that the only thing I seem to be good at, anyway, is murder." Xaver was no longer looking at her. He slammed the other drawer, his pant drawer, shut.

"You are wrong, you idiot! Wrong!" Ginny grabbed another piece of clothing, just to have something to throw, and pitched it at him too.

"No matter what you have done, do, or will do we will love you!" She threw another shirt at him, "No matter what has happened, is happening, or might happen, we will love you! You are his father, Xaver! The only man I love, Xaver!"

She didn't realize it, but she was on the verge of tears, her frustration peeking, "Why do you have to be so STUPID?!"

Xaver cast a sidelong glance her way - and that one look at her was enough to shatter the sudden bout of anger within him.
No, he was no innocent - and death was not only something he was well-trained in, but what he was very good at... But, in all actuality, beyond the material, and physical - Xaver was as gentle, really, as he could possible be. He wasn't built to be cold, or angry. Those were the walls he'd been trying to build around him since as long as he could remember... And Ginny had always been his key.

He threw up his arms when the second shirt hit his chest, dropping his head back, and shaking it, allowing the shirt to fall to the floor beside its predecessor.
"I. Don't. KNOW."


He leaned back, heavily, against the dresser, and mopped his hands over his face.
He shook his head again, then looked at her.
"You, are the only woman I have ever loved. You.. And Cody... I know you.. I know you love me. And I love you.."
He waved his arms.
"It's... Just..."
He dropped them, hopelessly, to his sides.

"He asks questions, Ginny... I can't lie to him, or give him cheap answers. He deserves the truth. You both do... He's young, and I know that... But I believe letting him begin to understand now would be better than having him finding out some horrible truth later. Because there's a lot of those."

"Why does he have to find out any of them?!" Ginny cried, bring her hands to her face to cover the tears she felt starting to slide down her face, "Why can't he just stay my baby?"

Neither of them were perfect. Ginny didn't want her only son to grow up. And Xaver didn't know how to take care of his son. How to answer him.

It was all very confusing and, despite a few details, normal for families. Perhaps, the most normal thing so far.

(GOOOOING to bed. G'night. Might post before school if you post something.)

Problem was, neither of them were any good at being normal.

Xaver wasn't.
He openly accepted the fact, through a wall or three of frustration, and worry.
He wasn't good at normalcy - he had known none of it growing up, or into adulthood. What was he supposed to do about that now? Raised to believe that he would be forced into the immediate succession of his father's throne as soon as it was adequate to do so, and that he would live fighting, and probably die fighting - falling in love, and having a child, hadn't ever really been on his list on things to do.
And they had been the best things, that had ever happened to him.
Ginny, and Cody - he was still adjusting to this new life, and sacrifices were to be made, and pushed.. But in the end, Xaver knew he would give up anything, and everything, to be with them.
He wasn't good at it, exactly - but Xaver was trying. He couldn't parent Cody like he had Kylie, years ago.. Because even though it was the same, it was completely different, and he had to learn all the things that went with being a father. Not a brother, acting like one.


"Ginny.."
He said it, softly, as he went to her. In a moment, he had her within his embrace, his arms wrapped around her, planting feathersoft kisses over her hands, and forehead. Slowly, he gently pried her hands away, sweeping in and kissing her fully over the mouth, before sighing.

"..Because, in the end.. He's getting older.. And we can't stop that. Perhaps he shouldn't learn these things right away.. But eventually, he will be faced with them.."

"Why does he have to grow up? I don't want my baby to grow up!" Ginny buried her head into his shoulder throwing her arms around him and squeezing him.

"He's my baby, my little angel...does he have to grow up so d**n fast?!"

Xaver wrapped his arms around her. Drawing her close. Closing his eyes, and burying his face into her hair.
"I... I don't know."
He set his chin atop her head, his eyes closed against the reality that he didn't want to face, either.
"But.. He'll always be your baby, Baby. Our baby."

"I don't want him to grow up...this world doesn't deserve him...it's too cruel...he's too sweet...it'll take that away!" Ginny squeezed her arms around him, pushing her face into his shoulder and willing herself to stop acting like a child.

She had to let him grow up.
All children did it, and Cody was no exception.

"He's just a baby...I don't want them to do to him what they did to us..."

As Ginny squeezed closer to him, Xaver's arms wrapped themselves firmly around her in return, keeping her near, and holding her tight.
He didn't want that, either. He knew there was no fate to give him fortune enough to keep Cody, just as he was.. And it scared him to death to know that his son, his baby, would be facing the same treacherous, cruel world that Xaver himself faced on a daily basis.
There was one thought, though..

"He has us."

Xaver looked down, into the thick recesses of the dazzling marvel of Ginny's hair, and planted a kiss upon the top of her head.

"He has us, my love. And they can't do to him what there was no one to protect us from."


If put into perspective, Xaver had had no childhood. Not really, anyway... He was forced to grow up and assume the titles he'd had stuffed down his throat from birth - and there had been no one, really, to protect him from the wrath of the hard edges of the world. And no one to sooth the pains and sorrows of the aftereffects of that wrath.
Cody, though..
Xaver would be there for Cody until he drew his own final breath - and he knew Ginny was no different.

"But I had both parents....and six brothers...and it still got me...it still made me like this..."

This meant 'crazy', 'psychotic', a 'killer'. Ginny classified herself in all three, and many more categories. She didn't think much of herself, and her conscious weighed heavily on her mind daily.

"I don't want him to see death...not ever!" She cried out, squeezing her eyes shut.

"You had no one who really understood these things. Not like we do. ..And if there is anything good that has come from my history of violence - it is that I know if I can not protect him completely, I know I could assist him. If he needed me. We may be not the most innocent - but we are ignorant fools, neither."

Gently, he hooked a finger beneath her chin, tilting her head upward to look at him.

"This - you -  I fell forever in love with. No masks - no visage. You, as you truly are."
He pressed his forehead to hers, after a slight shake of his head.
He knew - she was as harsh to herself, as he was to himself in his own thoughts.

"Death, dearest - is very much a part of life as-.."
Xaver trailed off, suddenly blinking.
He had said that before. Those exact words - but where? It unnerved him - as much as the sudden clairvoyance that he was about to find out - and soon.

Ginny looked up at him, her face slowly becoming calmer as he spoke, the growing tense as his words drifted.

"What's wrong?" She asked, her voice rough and scratchy from yelling and crying.

Xaver looked at her, blinking against his sudden reverie, thoughtful, even as he pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose and his arms grew firm again around her, drawing her closer still.
"I.. It's just.. Odd, to be not in contol of my own thoughts. First the memory of Kylie, slipping through without my even letting it.. And now, what I just said..."
He shook his head, and rolled his eyes at himself.
"You're engaged to a mental idiot."

"And your engaged to a psychotic b**ch." Ginny muttered, frowning and shaking her own head.

"Come on, I'm sure Cody is dressed by now and expecting to see his dear uncles."

Xaver frowned, and was about to retort, when he simply shook his head. He took her hand, bringing it to his mouth and bowing a kiss over the top of it, before he turned, starting out, toward Cody's room, not letting go.
"But she's so good for me."

To him.

He nudged Cody's bedroom door open, with his toe, and started in.

Ginny shook her head silently, following him into Cody's room. The little boy was no where in sight though and Ginny stopped, a bit of confusion of her face. She turned around, looking out into the hallway.
"Cody?"

"Out here, Momma." Cody called back from the living room. Ginny breathed a sigh of relief and pulled Xaver's hand, dragging him into the living room. But as she entered the room she stopped, her face growing cold. Cody stood in front of a man with dark hair and dark eyes. His skin had a deep tan, but he looked boyish as he smiled at Ginny, ignoring Xaver.

"He's a pretty kid, love." He said, his aristocratic English accent making Ginny wince.

"What do you want?" She said, keeping her voice steady for Cody's sake.

Love?

Xaver thanked the heavens and darkness too that he was so very good at completely masking his own emotions - for the sudden urge to rip the other's face off and boil it was impossibly strong. Love was Xaver's pet name for Ginny, d**n it. No one elses. And it sure as HELL wasn't supposed to make her wince. In empathy, he could both feel and sense her emotions. Anxiety.
It both worried - and angered him.
Though, Xaver kept a cool, light composure - it was hardly possible to tell any difference in him.

A raven eyebrow arched, in an almost interested, curious way. Almost.

"Just wanted to see your precious child." He smirked, patting Cody's head, ruffling his hair.

"Don't touch him, Mahn." Ginny snapped, reaching out and pulling Cody to her, "Get out of my house, and out of my life."

Mahn stopped smirking and pretended to look sad for a moment before he smiled, "Can't, love. You still haven't done that job."

"Screw you." Ginny's hands were shaking slightly, but she conceled it by holding Cody tightly. He squirmed slightly, but she didn't let go.

Mahn laughed, then finally looked at Xaver with a knowing grin, "You are her newest, then?"

Her newest?
Now what the hell-

"Beg pardon?"

Xaver frowned against the grin he found revolting, though he showed none of the distaste, or disgust, playing his cards cautiously. He shifted his weight, side-stepping so he was almost completely in front of Cody, though the act looked completely unintentional. Even if it was completely on purpose.
Ginny was upset - that in itself, was enough to put Xaver on edge. Anyone could realize that.

"Her newest lover, of course. Silly boy." He grinned, then looked at Xaver harder, "Actually, I believe I've seen you before." He shrugged, then looked at Ginny, "Now, love, you going to do that job for me?"

"Not in your dreams." Ginny sneered back, looking braver than she felt. Mahn was powerful and was one of the few people who knew all her weaknesses.

Xaver's stomach tightened.
Mahn?
Wasn't that-..?

"Peut-être. Fortasse. Perhaps. Though, I am not new."
The lilt of his low tones were near empty.

"What job is this?"

"A job only she can do. She's the only one of Time to have ever been trained, then let go without them erasing her memory." Mahn smiled slowly, telling Xaver only because he saw no harm in it.

Ginny shook her head, "I'm not doing it. I've killed too many people, I don't need to add more to my list." She gently pushed Cody towards Xaver and took a step towards Mahn, "Leave my home, Mahn, and never come here again." She told him lowly.

He pretended to look hurt, "You don't mean that. You like our visits."

"Leave before I make you leave."

"I don't want to harm you in front of your family, love." Mahn grinned, flexing his hand.

(Agh, I love Mahn...)

(Sorry, didn't mean to be rude, just had to say that. Carry on)

(I hate Mahn. >.> Well - Xaver does! LOL!!)


"You will not harm her," Xaver said lowly, his low, calm tones suddenly sharper.
When Cody was pressed to him, Xaver planted his hand on his son's shoulder, pulling him that much closer, giving him a reassuring squeeze, even as his eyes darkened.

"She has declined, and your presence is no longer welcome here, Mahn. Please leave."

It was the quiet ones you had to watch out for.

((Sirius, you only love Mahn cause he's a complete psycho!))

"You don't seem to understand. Ginny is indebted to me, and she knows it." Mahn grinned at Xaver, amused by his reaction. He thought Xaver to be of sudden interest, "As far as harming her, my friend, Ginny could fight me back. She never does though. She knows she deserves it."

He looked at Ginny with a smile, "Yet another one under your spell, little vixen?"

Ginny didn't say anything, but she looked away. The truth was, she was scared of Mahn, intimidated by him.

Quote from: Ginny Weasly on January 18, 2008, 12:19:36 PM
((Sirius, you only love Mahn cause he's a complete psycho!))

(Exactly, the real me can relate to him. Haha.)

"I am under no 'spell'," Xaver murmured darkly.

It was odd, then - a sudden ripple, a stirr, of magic, seemed to crawl beneath his skin. Without his will; without his consent. Inwardly, Xaver shuddered.
Cody looked up at him, frowning - upset at Xaver, though Xaver hadn't the faintest clue, really why.

He shook his head, anyway.

"And friend," he said quietly, "is a term deserved, not profiled. I am no friend to you, under circumstances."

Meaning, without even having to be said - if Mahn opposed Ginny, Xaver would be very much a worst enemy, by default.

Mahn smiled at Xaver, tilting his head to the side with amusment and interest. He studied Xaver, then Cody, finally seeing the similarities between the two and began to laugh.
"Oh, I see. I see. So it's not her spell you are under. It's his." Mahn smiled at Cody, "Xerxes, isn't it? No, don't ask how I know your name," He said when Cody began to question. Mahn simply glanced at Ginny with a dark smile before looking back at Cody, "This is your father?"

Cody frowned at Mahn, not liking his questions, but nodded.

Mahn smiled again, "Did you know, boy, that your mother once hurt many children-"

"Shut up!" Ginny snapped, taking one step forward. She went to slap him, but Mahn caught her wrist, his smile disappearing.

"Don't like the truth, love?" He asked, quietly. He held her wrist tightly, but didn't twist it.

(Xaver wants to kick his arse, Xaver wants to kick his arse, Xaver wants to kick his arse.. ROAR)


When Mahn grabbed Ginny, Xaver stilled, his aura suddenly, openly, pulsing.
"Let."
He clenched his jaw.
"Her."
Fighting back his natural reaction - to tear Mahn to pieces.
"Go."
By hand, if he had to.

very very good bump

((I counted on that being Xaver's reaction haha))

Mahn suddenly smiled at Xaver's anger, the smile of a truly psychotic person who enjoyed the reaction, "How is it that she always has someone nearby to tell me that?"

Ginny closed her eyes and swallowed, standing completely still, before grabbing Mahn's forearm with her free hand and swinging him into the air, over her. He landed on his back, instinctively letting her wrist go as he fell. She turned, her eyes open now, rubbing her wrist.
"Mahn, just leave."

Mahn slowly rolled onto his stomach and pushed himself up, standing slowly.
"Love, you need to watch your temper."

( :P ohh, dang..)

A hand still planted on Cody's head, Xaver hissed, lowly. Sighing.
"Quit calling her love."

It pissed him off.


Xaver resisted the urge to step foreword, nudging Cody, so the boy was now standing behind him, even against the protests.

Mahn suddenly frowned, a real one this time. No more games on his part. "Ginny was and always will be my love." He said, looking Xaver in the eyes. He was attracted to Ginny on a level, but not sexually. The fact that she had killed his grandfather turned him off on that. Despite that, he couldn't help but consider her to be his first love.
Did I mention he's psychotic?

Ginny growled, "I do not belong to you, Mahn."

Mahn turned, his smile jumping up again, "Yes, you do. You owe me your life."

"And for why do you think she owes you this?"

Xaver refrained from clenching his fists, though his tones were sharp enough to split diamonds.
He bit back a snarl, though it faded into a pang of worry when Cody's little hand gripped his index finger. He sighed, his frown hardening, meeting Mahn's eyes without fear, but honest frustration.

Mahn scowled at Xaver's interruption, becoming annoyed, "Because I could have killed her years ago. I didn't. I know how to kill her, and gave that secret away to one person only. Then, I stopped him from killing her. I also stopped the Time Masters from ordering her death."