Cody Xian wasn't human. He knew that better than anybody, had known it for years. Even before his mother finally explained the truth to him when he was three. He didn't mind, it didn't matter that he wasn't human. Not to his family.
Not to him.
But to some, this seemed to be very distressing, to the point where they feared him so much they hated him. Cody knew these people were the ones with the power to destroy the world. The fact they feared him, a simple five year old, more than they feared each other was an example of their stupidity. And their power.
There was a reason Cody wasn't human. He had wings. Beautiful black wings, identical to those of his father's. Cody was an almost perfect imitation of Xaver Xian, especially in looks. There was no doubt to those who knew Xaver that Cody was his son.
And after they met Cody, there was no doubt that he was Ginny's son.
But today, Cody didn't care about any of this. Today, he decided to stop being a child prodigy and just be a child. Which meant he had snuck out of his home just after his dad had left and before his mom woke up. Usually, he wouldn't have been up for hours, but the lost hours of sleep didn't affect him at all. Not with the adrenaline running through his blood as he soared through the skies around Hogwarts.
Finally, he pulled himself to the ground, rolling on purpose instead of landing and laying in the grass. He sighed, closing his eyes, wishing that this moment could go on forever. That when Mom found him, she wouldn't be mad about his disappearing on her like that. He wished that Dad wouldn't be so carefully disappointed in him.
He opened his eyes, looking upwards with a small smile. When most children dreamed of flying, Cody had no need. He knew what it was like and it was the best thing in the whole wide world.
Sarah had decided that if she was going to get any peace and quite she needed to go out for her jog now. So Sarah then got up out of her bed and put on a light blue running short, and a tank top to match. She then started to search for her running shoes. After about 10 minutes of searching she finally found them and put them on.
"Okay here goes nothing." Sarah said to herself as she walked out of the room and down the stairs and out the doors of hogwarts. She then took off jogging she started by heading to the Quiddich field. Once there it was the forest this is where Sarah seemed to feel as if she was at peace with herself. She knew that most people would think that this was a scary place but she had the right training. Sarah then would go out of the forest and run by the lake.
Sarah was remebering at this moment all of the things that she once had that were now gone. This is when a single tear fell down her cheek. She had missed all her friends. When she was running she then saw a boy laying on the ground. She knew for an instant who it was only because of the fact that he had wings. She then jogged over there to him.
"So What is a boy like you doing out here at hogwarts all by himself. I mean it is also really early." Sarah was not sure but her eyes had been glossed over from the memories and she sat down next to him.
Albus was lying in his bed sleeping. As the sun rised a little ray of light pointed went right through the window coverings, and right onto Albus's eyes. Albus awakened with a grunt as he covered his eyes.
" Is it morning already...?" He said with a tired voice, slowly.
He felt great. But he knew that when day started he was going to get more and more tired, and weak. The hotter the day was, the more tired and weak Albus got. Quickly, he remembered that if he went out now, when it was cold, he would get more energy for the rest of the day.
He got out of his bed and walked over to his closet. He took his white pyjamas
off and opened his closet, looking for some clothings he could wear today.
He took out a pair of blue jeans, an orange T-shirt and an orange sweater.
He didn't take socks on. He didn't need them. He took his sandals on and walked out of his dorm, walked out of the common room, which was empty, down the stairs and out.
He walked down a little path, leading to the lake. Half way, he sat down on a big, cold rock. He looked around, wondering if someone else was out.
Cody had heard Sarah long before she'd seen him. A small habit he'd picked up from his father. Xaver had once said, 'Constant vigilance, my son.' Those words had been spoken the first and only time Cody could ever recall meeting his uncle Xences. But Cody had taken them to heart, as the second lesson his father would teach him.
The first being to step up to those who need you.
As Sarah sat next to him, Cody moved only enough to face her. To see her, and to take notice of her. He smiled at her.
"Hi Miss Sarah." He said, his voice the perfect pitch of childhood innocence and sweetness. As was his smile.
Cody could be a politician when he grew up. He knew how to read people and how to say and do just the right things to get them to like him, if not agree with him.
"Hey there cody. You still did not answer me." Sarah laughed. She then leaned back onto the grass.
"I'm joking. I can't believe though that this is my last year here. I will be leaving behind memories along with a home." Sarah walk staring at the morning sky she just wished that it would come by slower. She knew that Cody would know how she felt. He was always to understand her even when she did not understand herself. He was one smart cookie.
Sarah then looked over at Cody and smiled. He was able to do almost anything he wanted, but she never understood why he did not. She then thought that was because he had a great mother to raise him to be a great young man for his age.
"So how is it that I always end up talking to you now a days instead of people my age."
His face showed nothing, another helpful habit he had learned from his parents. He was more their son than he realized. Nonetheless he watched Sarah, recalling all past meetings with her and sat up.
He shrugged, his small shoulders lifting, "Dunno." He said evasively. He didn't want to mention his mother had no clue where he was. He didn't want to mention that each time he was without her or his father, he was breaking every rule he'd ever been taught.
He watched Sarah keenly, his eyes reading her body language. He tilted his head to the side, "I thought you graduated..." He recalled something about her being 18. Maybe he was off by a year. Not a crucial mistake, but it bothered him. He rarely made mistakes with anyone but his parents, and there was no room for that.
He let the last sentence slide though and smiled again, "To answer your question, Miss Sarah, I was practicing my flying."
Sarah smiled as she looked at him. She then laughed she was laughing so hard that she had tears coming out her eyes.
"I'm sorry. I'm not thinking strait I have graduated." She then sat up and whipped her eyes. She could tell that all the stress from running a vet clinic by herself was getting to her. She could not even think strait. She continued to whip her eyes then she pulled the ponytail so that it was tight again. She knew that Ginny most likly did not know he was here but she would not tell.
"THat must be cool. I mean I know how to float a little using the wind element and then I rock on a broom. I mean to be able to fly without any of that would be wow." Sarah then looked at him and then at what she was wearing. "As you can tell I left the shop before it opens to go for a jog. I love this place though. I mean I miss not being here."
"Mom misses it too." Cody spoke the truth quietly.
When she said she couldn't imagine flying, he jumped up, excitement making him forget his manners. "Flying is the coolest thing! You are weightless, and soaring and it makes you feel so happy! You can see everything, nothing is hidden. It's like...like..." He searched for something flying was like, but could find nothing he had ever experienced that even came close to equaling the feeling.
In his excitement, his wings unfolded behind him, tinted red in the sunlight. They were magnificent, slightly too large for his small body, and strong. They flexed, then folded behind him, an unconscious act.
Sarah smiled at that. "Well You know I don't know if other might be around but if so I don't know if they would be as happy as I am with your wings."
Sarah had missed Ginny as well as the school. She knew that she was going to have to head back soon but she did not want to. She just wanted to stay here forever now was why she wondered about the reason she got a job as vet and not tried for teacher at hogwarts. She missed this place so much.
"Well I remember this spot so well. I mean it where I spent most of my time." Sarah then walked over to a tree and sat down putting her hand on it. She then felt the carving. "Sarah and Sirius forever." It then had a heart around it. She missed all her friends so much that was the hard part about it. She had always been close with them but since graduation it was as if they all dropped of the face of the planet.
"I guess in school you make friends so that you have someone to get into trouble with. Then you leave and your all alone again." Sarah said this as she had forgot that Cody was there for just a minute. She then looked at him. "Sorry. It just hard. I mean all I do it work and sometime I just want to go get a butterbeer and say forget it."
Cody's wings folded slowly behind him. His face became somber and he nodded, "I understand." He told her, his voice tiny, "I am alone."
He had his parents. He had his mother's family. A few cousin's close to his age. But no friends. Cody didn't know what having a friend meant. He knew he was capable of it. But he knew so few children, and even fewer with his brain.
Besides, he felt that his family would be leaving soon. He looked at Sarah for a moment, before walking over to her and grasping her hand, "Do you want to fly?" He asked in a whisper, his eyes huge and innocent.
Sarah looked at him and smiled. She could not believe that her best friend was actually someone that was 1/2 the age of her. She then took his and and stood up.
"Sure." Sarah said. She was going to say something about what would Ginny say but thought does it matter he already breaking the rules. She was not sure if it mattered anyways.
"So what it like to have a friend that you can tell anything and won't go running to your mom." Sarah thought of him as her best friend and she just wondered if he thought of her as a friend or someone that just kept showing up at the wrong time.
Cody smiled slightly as he gripped her hand. "Mom always finds out, but it's not your fault." He knew his mom would be mad. His dad too. He wasn't supposed to fly without Xaver around. It didn't matter, he knew how to get his magic to help Sarah fly with him.
His wings unfolded, and with three beats, the two of them were in the air, holding hands and drifting above where they had been standing. He grinned and grabbed her other hand, streaming his body so that they shot even further upwards with the next movment of his wings. They were higher than the castle now.
Sarah smiled as she flew with him. SHe closed her eyes she felt like she was free from ones. She did not wanted to end even though she knew it was.
"Thanks Cody. I mean this is nothing that I dreamed of when I thought about flying growing up. It is a lot better." Sarah looked into his eyes. For the frist time in she did not know how long she felt happy. Not the happy when your glad but a real where nothing could ruin it.
Cody let them glide, then slowly took them to the topmost tower roof. He helped her onto the roof and sat down, folding his legs in complete relaxation at this height.
He smiled at her, his pale blue eyes, so much like his fathers, twinkling with happiness. "Flying is the best." He agreed. He grinned at her, and giggled, a little boy giggle that was slightly high pitched. He covered his mouth and giggled some more. He was giddy with happiness.
Sarah smiled at him to as she then sat down. She for once felt free of anything that had caused her problems. Sarah then looked at him and could tell he was happy.
"Thanks I mean when you use elements and well even brooms it is great but nothing like that." Sarah then leaned back on it and started to watch the sun rise. She was in love.
"It is so beautiful from up here."
Cody smiled and nodded, "Yeah...Mom always said my wings were the best things in the world..."He paused, then laughed, "Almost as good as me, she said." He giggled, "Mom really thinks me and Dad are the coolest people she knows."
He smiled slightly, thinking about his Mom and Dad.
"Well you know she is right there. I mean your mom is great and I know that she loves you." Sarah then laughed.
She then stood up. "You are the coolest we might want to get down though."
Cody gave a her a puzzled look, "Why?" He asked, his voice dropping lowly.
"Why do humans deprive themselves of happiness? And when thy slip up and find themselves smiling, why is it they must think thoughts to frown once more?" He shook her head, his eyes angry, "Mom does it. Every human I've known does it...even Dad, who isn't human now does it."
(Ah let me in, let me in!)
((By all means! It isn't a closed RP!))
"Well I'm not sure. I guess it because when we have happiness we feel so upset because most of the time it comes to the pain of others." Sarah then sat back down.
"I'm not sure Cody to tell you the turth. I guess I do it because once I get that happiness your talking about. " Sarah then looked at her feet. "I would rather get rid of it myself then to let someone else ruin it for me."
"A self deprecating answer, to be sure." Cody said, his face twisting in his anger. Then he closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. He opened his eyes again.
And the anger was gone.
Easily, he had detached himself, allowing himself the few seconds it took to be calm again. Now he stood, extending his hand to her.
"I'll take you down, Miss Sarah, if that is what you wish."
Sarah looked at him then took his hand.
"It not what I wish. It just what has to be done. I mean I have to go back to the shop soon and take care of the animals." Sarah stood back up.
"I mean they need just as much love if not more then humans sometimes. I can't just let them be alone."
(Thanks. I'll wait till Sarah gets back to the shop before entering Sirius.)
Cody smiled slightly then, "You are like Mom in more ways than you think." He told her, shaking his head slightly. It was often said that Cody's intelligence equaled that of someone twice his age. It would have been more truthful if it were said he was as smart as his parents had taught him to be.
Around stupid people, he was slightly less stupid. Around brilliant people, he shined with slightly more luster.
The boy was smarter than most who crossed paths with him.
And he was only five.
He clasped her hand tightly and simply walked off the edge of the roof, floating them to the ground.
He kept his hand in hers though and now looked at her with childish eagerness, "May I come see the animals?"
Sarah looked at him and smiled.
"Well I guess. I mean that way at least if your mother comes looking she know you are fine." Sarah then started to walk with this young 5 year old boy with her. Once to her door she unlocks it and opens it. She then turns on the open sign.
"Well okay come on it. The owls are in that back room there." Points to it. "The snakes are there." Points. "Well the cats and rabbits I have are out here as you see."
Sarah then looked as she saw that none of then had tried to get out of the little play cage she had put them in.
Cody dropped her hands and carefully began systematically walking around the room, stopping at each cage. Stopping to speak to each animal, in his own way. No one, not even his mother, understood how he did this. He didn't use telepathy, as everyone else did. He didn't speak, he didn't move at all. Except for his eyes. They danced, rhythmically. And not all the animals responded to him, only a few did. The would look at him, their ears pointed upward as though listening with interest.
He stopped after a few cages and turned to look at Sarah and smile.
"They are so awesome!"
Sirius, who was dressed in black dress pants, a black shirt, a purple tie, and a normal robe hummed to himself as he apparated outside Sarah's store. He smiled happily as he stepped inside, expecting to see Sarah busy feeding the animals or cleaning up. Instead he found Sarah with someone else...
At Sirius entrance, Cody turned and immediately his features became emotionless. Showing nothing, feeling nothing as he studied Sirius completely. He said nothing to the man, not knowing what to say. He knew Sirius would recognize him as Ginny's child.
And as Xaver's.
"Ya maybe one of these days you can talk you mom into letting you keep one." Sarah knew that her shop was not just a vet but a place for animals that with out her care would have been killed already. She then took two big bowls of food over to the cats. She smiled as she watched Cody play with them. She then frowned relizing that cody was right about what he said earlier. Now she was thinking about how she wanted kids to play with the animals like him.
"You can hold one if you like." Sarah then walked over and turned on the fauset that would give water do every single one of the cages. She still had not relized that Siruis had come in.
Cody didn't answer Sarah, he was busy watching Sirius, watching for his reaction. He felt as though Sirius didn't like something about him. He was smart, but knew little of the emotions of humans. He didn't know or understand that Sirius might not like him because he was a strong likeness of Xaver.
Sirius swallowed and slowly his song died as he stared back at Cody. His eyes turned to purple and red as he stood frightened and yet angered at the mini Xaver before his eyes. He cleared his throat tearing his eyes from Cody and turning to Sarah. "Hello dear." He said, Xaver and Ginny on his mind. He occasionally glanced at Cody but then let his eyes flow back to Sarah's turned back.
Sarah then turned around. She was not expecting to see Siruis standing there. It had been about 5 months since the last time she saw him. She then smiled.
"Hello. So how have you been." She said with out any emotion then went back to work. She really did not know why that he decided to come back today. She then relized this was why Cody was quiet so she turn to him.
"I have some freshly baked cookies in the cookie jar in there if you want one."
Cody thought about politely refusing a cookie, but he couldn't resist food. Ever. Another mannerism from his father. He nodded and smiled just enough to let her know he was grateful and went to the jar. He cautiously kept his eyes on Sirius, trying to think why the man didn't like him.
Sirius stood, wishing he were alone with Sarah. Even if Cody were just a kid he still didn't like the way he stood looking at him. It reminded Sirius to much of Cody's father and he hated the thought of a mini Xaver running around in the world.
Sarah looked at Siruis and then finally snaped. She could not take the fact that Siruis was acting this way.
"Siruis I think you might want to leave. I mean I can tell by you look you don't like cody for some reason. " SHe then turned and put the rabbit food down. She was trying to be nice though.
"Why don't you. I mean he just a kid. He is also my company and I don't like him this quiet. He was not like this till you came" Sarah was asting calm about it.
Sirius tore his eyes from Cody, his eyes still red. "Huh? Oh him? I don't mind the little guy." He said lying. He hated lying to Sarah but he wanted to show her some things that he had found while going through his old Hogwarts belongings finally.
He nodded an unfriendly nod to Cody and smiled politely to Sarah.
Sarah knew he was lying but then decided to drop it for a moment and see why he was really here then. Sarah then walked over to the owls. She had never slowed down on working but when you did it by yourself how could you.
"Okay then why you really come here. I mean last time I saw you it was 5 months ago and well it was not on good terms. I mean I was at the ministry working on animals." Sarah then stopped for the frist time and truely looked at him.
"I mean then that time you called me there not made a trip to my shop." She was still completely calm through all this. If you looked around the shop you could see pictures of her school like. One wall had a group picture of all of them and then on another it was ones that she had painted of just there heads and peiced them together like puzzle.
Sirius who had noticed the pictures as well smiled. He took from his robe his wand and he tapped his hand twice. Zooming from the outside came a box that flew in and landed with a thud next to Sirius. He smiled to her without speaking before bending over and opening the box. He pulled out a framed picture that looked a bit wrinkly but still good on the inside. He poked it with his wand and it flew in the air, flowing silently over to the other pictures of Hogwarts on the wall. The picture landed on the wall and stayed up. Sirius stood and walked over to it, watching Cody out of the corner of his eye.
"Remember this?" Sirius said to Sarah calmly. For in the frame was the picture that Sarah first drew of Sirius when he was new to hogwarts. It was by the lake with Cho and himself and Sarah. All of them hanging out and playing in the water. "I found it a few days ago and i thought you might like it." He smiled to her lightly.
Sarah saw it and then teared up. "I guess. I mean I drew it for you why don't you want it. I mean I have enough."
Sarah then walked over and broke down. She wrapped her hands around him. She missed being in this position and missed holding him.
Cody was watching them with slight interest. He watched so few people, so few adults, he knew how so few acted.
Actually, he was an expert at reading people's motives for what they did. An expert at people. He didn't have to study them, it came naturally from his few experiences with them. He was just enough of a person to be comfortable around them, and just enough of something other than a person to see insights they perhaps never saw.
After a moment, he considered them boring and turned back to the animals with new reverence.
Sarah then pulled back. "You can keep it though. I mean I really should get back to work."
Sarah then turned and went to look at an injured owl that was seprated from the rest. She was not sure but she felt like she chould tust Cody more then she could even turst Sirius now.
"No. You can have it. To remember what we used to be like. As a group, us three." Sirius smiled lightly as he watched Sarah work. Missing her dearly. He glanced at Cody and actually shivered, being reminded of Xaver wasn't a comfort where Sirius was concerned.
Cody wasn't looking at Sirius, but he felt him shiver. Felt his own skin respond and tighten in stress.
"Do you fear me, Sir Black?" Cody asked quietly, not looking towards either of them, his voice low, and still childishly high pitched, "Are you afraid of me simply because I have wings? Like those of the Ministry?"
"Well okay. It can go on the wall." Sarah gave the animal a shot of some medicine that she knew would help. Then she went strait to work on the things need to make this place stay running. She knew that Sirius was mad at Cody for some reason.
"Cody I want to thank you so much. I mean your the first person in forever that has come by to just play with them." She then looked at Cody watching them.
Cody nodded at Sarah, and turned to face Sirius, anger plain as day on his face.
"Why is it you hate me?" He asked, his anger growing by the second. "Is it because of what I am? A half human? Hardly a human? An animal?"
He growled, his eyes darkening, "What is it you fear?"
"No it is not because of what you are that I fear you Cody. Forgive me for being so rude." Sirius calmly responded to Cody trying to keep his cool when really all he saw standing before Cody was Xaver.
Sarah looked at Sirius. She could not believe that he was acting this way. She was ready to blow. She did not mean to when she did though.
"The questions not why you hate Cody at all is it." Sarah then looked at Cody. She could not believe this was making her that mad.
"It why do you hate Xaver so much. I mean Cody looks just like him."
"What does my father have to do with me? Because I resemble him?" He paused, "Of course I resemble him. My mother's gentle genetics were unable to compeat with my father's strong genes. At least where looks count."
He scowled darkley, "I look like him. But I am her." He looked away now, tears forming in his eyes. He was five. He was a genius, he was mature. But he was five. His emotions were uncontrollable.
"She taught me everything I know...everything I am. In hating me you hate her." He looked at Sirius and began to cry in anger, "That is something I cannot forgive!"
Sarah looked at Cody. She knew that she should not have said anything. She was now upset with herself as she ran over to him.
"Cody I'm so sorry. I should never had said anything. I mean this was not my thing to get into." She then wrapped her arms around the boy. He always seemed to help her out. This was her time to help him. She then turned to Sirius.
"You of all people should have known not to treat him this way. I mean did Ginny not teach you anything." She then started to tear up.
"Or is it because you still like Ginny and you know you can't have her becuase of Xaver. Ya I know about how muched you like her in school. I was not stupid." She then looked at Cody makeing sure he was fine.
Sirius ran his fingers through his hair breathing angrily. He turned and quickly ran out of the shop. Ginny I'm sorry I couldn't control myself! He sent to her sitting down on a bench nearby, placing his elbows on his knees and his hands on his neck. He closed his eyes trying to calm down, the wind around him blew lightly.
There was a swirl od air, and Ginny stood in front of him, her arms hanging loosely at her side. Though she looked tired, she didn't look half as exhausted as she had years ago, when she had been in school. She had removed the stress that had been killing her.
She sat beside him, placing her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands, "Why do you apologize to me?" She asked softly.
In the shop, Cody looked at Sarah, his anger slowly fading. He sighed, shivered, and looked at Sarah somberly, "I'm sorry Miss Sarah. He just made me really mad."
Sirius looked up at ginny to scared for words. When finally they came he relaxed a little. "Cody...I couldn't handle myself around him." He wasn't sure what to say. She after all hadn't been there so she didn't know what had happened.
Sarah still hugged him. She then smiled at him. She knew this was her fault.
"It is okay cody. I mean it my fault. I always knew when I feel in love with him that he was not over her. I just did not want to admit it." She then stood back up.
"How about I let you keep an pet and well if you want you can keep it here and I will take care of it and you can come by and play with it when ever. Then we can get some food." She was trying to go back to how there were feeling before this whole incident. The truth was she felt as if her heart was broken in two.
Cody's eyes lit up, making him instantly forget the argument with Sirius, "Can I really?" He asked excitedly.
Ginny glanced at him, "My son was correct when he said he was me." She told him, looking at him though still supporting her head with her hands. The result was her hair falling over half her face, though not in her way. It was simply hiding one of her eyes, making it harder to read her expression. "As much as Cody thinks he is alone, he never truly is. I see and hear all that he does, Sirius. I even interpret it better at times. Though rarely, since he is much smarter than myself."
She continued to look at him, her eyes watching his.
Sarah smiled. She really need someone that could be there for her. "Ya under one condition though.When you come to visit it you can't just visit it you have to help me show love to the others."
Sarah then walked over and grabbed the pumkin juice she had instead of the butterbeer. She would not start that again. She knew that her heart hurt but she had to fight it.
"I mean they could use a great owner like you to show it love. I mean I can't always give everyone as much as it needs. THat why they going looking for others to confort them." Sarah said as she talked to him she was no longer talking about the animals but how she felt Sirius betrayed her. She then picked up the picture and walked to the edge of the door and set it down outside.
Sirius's eyes widened and he blushed, he looked away from Ginny's face. "So you know why I couldn't handle it then?" He asked muttering quietly through the breeze. He swallowed and closed his eyes before rubbing them with his scarred hands.
"You can't handle a five year old?" Was there a hint of amusement in her voice? "You still do not answer my question. Why apologize to me?" There was a sad tone to her words now. She continued to look at him, noticing his blush, "Why is it you still care for me?" She asked.
Cody nodded fervently, "Yes, Miss Sarah! Anything!" He clapped his hands in delight and giggled, his face showing that pure happiness again. He liked Sarah, she wasn't hard to be around like some people. He didn't feel judged, and he didn't have to think. She was almost as easy to be around as his mom and dad.
The words hit Sirius like ice. First he felt offended at her snide comment about his ability to handle a five year old, then he felt embarrassed. Sirius himself couldn't answer the question. He slowly turned to Ginny and shrugged. "I'm still trying to figure that out," he said calmly to her keeping his eyes on her face.
Sarah smiled at that. "Well now all you need to go do it pick which one of them you want and what you want to name it. I will go get the paperwork."
Sarah then walked over and grabbed the things she need to get pet in his name. She did not mind watching it for him but she knew that she loved having someone around that seemed to understand her. She grabbed the paper and a pen and walked to the kitched to get a cookie. *Let see do I really want to keep this store looking as if I have not left the past. I mean I could get rid of the pictures and fix it*
Sarah was not sure what she wanted but she wanted Sirius out of her life. She then walked back into to the shop and smiled at Cody. "Question your mom know you are here."
Cody's smile faltered at her question. As far as he knew, Ginny had no clue where he was. But she would find out soon enough, and he couldn't put off punishment forever, "No ma'am..." He answered softly. He gazed at Sarah with all the sweetness and innocence he could muster and let his lower lip tremble, "She wouldn't have let me go if she knew."
Ginny's eyes were sad, her voice and expression pleading with him, "I need to know...so I can destroy your reason." She told him, shaking her head, "Sirius, you caring for me as you do will only end in your pain...don't you understand?" She cared about him, yes. She had for a long while. But in the face of blatant honesty, he would never be her first choice. Hardly a second even. Xaver was someone she loved without trying, not at all like anybody else.
She buried her head in her hands again, her fingers tangled in her impossibly bright red hair. She had a headache.
Sarah smiled at Cody when he added all innocent. She loved the trouble makers as friends for some reason. "Well then I guess we will have to keep quiet about it. I bet she knows though since she was outside talking to Sirius."
Sarah then walked over and poured her a small glass of the butterbeer. She knew better then to do it but she wanted to. She then took a drink. "So you pick what animal you want. I mean I'm closed so it is just us and you can pick any one you want."
She had put the closed sign up about 5 minutes ago when Sirius left.
"G.od d/am/nit Ginny can't you see i have no reason! Day after day I sit wondering why you are stuck in my head. I can't explain why i feel this way! Its hard to destroy reason when there is no reason. I would love nothing more then to let you have your peace with Xaver and Cody, but seeing him makes me wish he were dead." Sirius wanted to scream at her but found no words to express how angered he was by his own emotions. His eyes turned a bright red color as he glared at her.
At the mention of death, Ginny sat up sharply, and as he finished his rant, she stood, in front of him again, "You wish my son dead?" She asked, her soft voice hiding the anger.
"You sonuvabich, Sirius! You and your stupid emotions! You and your stupidity!" She growled, "It's your fault, you know. If you hadn't kissed me, none of this would be like it is! I could live in peace! As well you could." She sank to her knees in front of her, her hands folded on his knees, "Don't you get it Sirius? If you truly cared about me, if you really did, you would accept the two being I care most for in this world....the two beings...the two entities who make me happy!" She was begging him, half angry, half sobbing.
Cody glanced at her, "Huh?" He asked, "Mom's outside?"
Sarah looked at him as she then walked to the window and watched it. "Yes she is. I mean the looks as if she talking with Sirius."
She the walked back to the kicthen and poured more of her butterbeer bottle into her glass before walking back to the spot and watching. She then looked at Cody and wrapped an arm around him. "It going to be fine. I mean she will straiten it out. So you pick what you wanted yet."
She was just trying to stop from getting her heart broken even more she could not handle this. She then sent him a message. *Sirius I just wanted to tell you that your pictures outside my door. Cody was right humans do make themselves sad when happy. I don't want you in my life making it sad because your in love with another girl and keep breaking my heart. So I hope you keep the picture. Hope you are happy alone since Ginny will never choose you to*
Sarah then downed the glass she just had and smiled happy at Cody.
"Ginny believe me, I have tried to get past that, I really have. I've helped Xaver out more then I ever imagined helping somebody who has you out. In the end though, it comes down to one thing. He has you. For some godforesaken reason I can't get over it! I do not wish your son dead Ginny, never would I wish that upon a child such as him." Sirius's body seemed to freeze as he peered down at Ginny with helpless eyes.
Ginny dissolved into tears, placing her forehead on his knees and crying gently, "How is it that you hate tem so? They are extensions of me!" She cried harder, her hands still clasped, almost in prayer, "You hate me most of all...in the worst way, for it is disguised as love..."
It really bothered her.
Cody looked nervously towards the window, "What's going on out there?" He asked, fearfully, "Why do I feel so afraid?" His voice a whisper now. He couldn't see his mother's tears, and it was better that way, for he would have struck at Sirius for making her cry.
Sarah looked at him. She was trying to be strong with Cody so scared. "Please Cody it will be fine. I mean she just I think sad because of the fact that Sirius still loves her and well she could never love him. I mean she loves you and Xaver with all her heart. I know that much."
Sarah then looked down knowing that her heart was broke. She lost the one love she had. "Sirius was upset because you look like your dad and that makes him know he can't have her."
Sirius I just wanted to tell you that your pictures outside my door. Cody was right humans do make themselves sad when happy. I don't want you in my life making it sad because your in love with another girl and keep breaking my heart. So I hope you keep the picture. Hope you are happy alone since Ginny will never choose you to
Sirius swallowed and licked his lips as he was hit by two angry women at once. Slowly he closed his eyes, and a tear fell from his cheak onto Ginny's hand. This was the first time in a long time that Sirius had cried.
"I'm sorry for any pain I've caused you Ginny."
"You have no idea..." Ginny muttered thickly through her own tears. Suddenly, quickly, she stood, pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes to make herself stop crying. She was angry now, she'd been perfectly happy in her life, but nothing could continue to stay good for her, could it? Nothing could stay happy.
How it angered her. Infuriated her! She was just one more example of a human who needed something in life to whine about.
Cody looked at Sarah, his eyes narrowing suddenly, "He made Momma sad?" He went back to his old name for Ginny, one that had developed when there had been no one else and he had clung to her like glue, "Does he wish for death that badly?"
Sarah looked at Cody. She was not sure what to tell him.
"Ya he made lots of us sad. If he does I'm not afraid to help. I mean you taugh me to keep a smile on my face. Then he came and has upset it all." Sarah then bent down and faced the kid. "How about I go get your mom and she can come in here and get happy with us."
"Momma was happy, until he came around." Cody seethed, "Momma doesn't need such a poison in her life. He's wicked, worse than my dad's brother, because he holds hearts in his hands. Because people love him, and he unintentionally hurts them. Such pain is worse than intentional." He growled, clenching his fists.
"I have a better idea, Miss Sarah. How about I go get my mom?"
Sarah looked at him and then smile. She was not going to let him go by himself and hurt Sirius yet.
"Well how about this. We both go." Sarah then stood back up and walked to the door and unlocked it.
"I mean that sounds like a plan to me."
"Ginny I'm sorry ok!" Sirius said standing desperately. A day that had started out well suddenly had become dark and terrible. Sirius stared at Ginny, scared right down to his very core. "Ginny I'm sorry okay. I will leave right now, right now, and never bother you or Cody or Xaver again. Is that what you want? Ginny I would do anything to make you happy. I see now that I can't make you happy though."
As soon as the door was unlocked, Cody darted through it, going in a straight line to Ginny. He threw his arms around her legs, almost knocking her over in his hurry to comfort her. He buried his face in her robes and squeezed, doing all he could think of to make his mom happy.
Ginny's tears stopped immediately, though they didn't dry. She reached down and gently rubbed the top of Cody's head, "It's okay angel." She murmured.
Sirius swallowed as he stared down at Cody. For the first time in a long time, Sirius didn't see Xaver in him but saw a child who loved his mother. He sighed and looked at Ginny. "I'm so sorry."
Cody kept hold of Ginny's legs, but leaned back enough to give Sirius a withering look. If looks could kill, Sirius would have been dead. There was poison in Cody's eyes. He did nothing but cling to Ginny, though.
Ginny said nothing to Sirius, simply looked down at her son sadly. After a moment of playing wih his hair, she said quietly, "Will no one love you like I do?" It wasn't a question she wanted Cody to answer, but he looked up and did so anyway.
"Dad does. I only need you and Dad."
Sirius smiled lightly to Cody's response but dared not look at him again for he had been scared by Cody's look alone that he had just received. He sighed and looked at Ginny. "Did I mention I was sorry? I'm sorry for everything. I'm especially sorry I put Cody into it. I shouldn't have."
Cody bared his teeth, growling inhumanly, all the more to scare Sirius. Ginny did nothing to calm her son, except place her hand on his head.
"If you are truly sorry Black, you will give my son and my husband all the respect you try to give to me. I want none of it." Her words were harsh, her voice harsher.
"No."
Directed toward Sirius.
"You shouldn't have."
Xaver wasn't sure of the emotions stirring in the pit of his stomach - but he understood them.
He was furious - said fury, directed toward Sirius. (A common occurrence, as of late..)
... And he was scared.
Scared, in the way many of his people had been scared, for centuries.
From the time the first Fallen had intermingled with Humans.. They had been conservative about it, but they had been scared.
The Fallen had abilities, sure... But how long would one have to fight, to survive?
To fit in?
...To live, in every means of the word?
The Fallen lord showed no signs of discomfort, but a dark, solemn shade of a bruise discolored the slight unshaven shadow of his jaw, the varying blacks bringing a new, predatory sharpness to the angles of his features. His lower lip was un-flawed, and his cheek was not marred, but a line of blood trailed just beneath the spots as if it they had been split - his quick paced self-healing obviously already in effect, though he hadn't bothered to clean up. He had changed from his loose, formal attire of that morning, and now wore black, pressed slacks, and dark shoes, a deep navy silk shirt flirting just beneath the surface of a black longcoat. Dark, impermeable colors that contrasted sharply to the ghostly shade his flesh now harbored, and effectively concealing any other bruises, or markings he failed to show when he shifted his weight, absently.
(A bit confused...)
Quote".....I'm especially sorry I put Cody into it. I shouldn't have."
--Sirius said that.
Xav pops in, all of a sudden (who knows when he actually appeared) and goes.. That's right. You
shouldn't have.. Dun dun dunnnnnn. O_O
(Ah I see, sorry, not the brightest bulb.)
Sirius literally jumped as Xaver appeared before them all. His eyes stared blankly at him for a moment.
"I apologized what more do you want from me Xaver!?" Sirius nearly shouted at him letting anger overcome his fear. He stood firm glaring at Xaver. Even though his eyes were purple, Sirius let no emotions that made him weaker show.
((*rolls eyes* Xaver is just a show off.... ;)))
Ginny didn't turn, and instead kept her eyes on Sirius, scowling slightly. She took a small step forward, facing him now, and gripped his chin, forcing him to look her in the eyes, "I ask one thing of you, Black. One thing. Treat the two being I love most with respect. Or you will be worse off than if I let them do as they wished with you."
Cody looked towards Xaver and smirked wickedly. His feelings were that it was him and his dad against Sirius, the man who had made Ginny cry. But he also felt Ginny didn't need their protection at the moment. She was terrifying in her own way. He had forgotten, for the moment, how much trouble he would be in later, once they remembered that he had snuck out earlier that morning.
"I will show them respect when they respect me Ginny! They act like I'm someone who will come in and steal you from them when we all know I can't so why don't you just quit this little game Xaver and get over the fact that more then one person may love Ginny!" Sirius continued to stare at Xaver shaking his head slightly.
(OOHHH he is ;D man's a devil. gaahh! and LOL - your bulb burns plenty bright!!)
Xaver's mouth twitched, at Sirius's response.
"You don't want to know the answer to that question."
What might have been amusement, however, faded as Cody looked at him - the familiar gleam in his son's eyes forcing all humor from him.
He didn't want Cody to celebrate in controversy.
Didn't want his son to revel in the intoxicating effects of the adreniline of a fight. ..Others' dispair.
Cody's feelings mirrored his own, in so many ways...
That unnerved, Xaver, too.
For no one knew his own beast, better than himself... And Xaver was his own worst critic.
He reached out, hands impossibly clean, and curled a finger beneath Cody's chin, lifting the boy's head to face him more completely, the dark oceans of his own eyes searching the similar ones of his son.
He looked at Cody, moody orbs flickering over the boy's face as if to memorize it, fighting to find words - though in the end, there were none that correctly reached his tongue, and he forced them all away. He dropped his hand, messing his son's hair, before leaving him alone, completely.
He was standing completely still when Sirius made his next comment - and for a long moment, there was nothing given away, other than the hardening of his features.
Finally, "This is no game."
Ginny scowled darkly at Sirius, "You fear him, you admire him, you want to be like him. But you will not respect him? To earn respect you must give it and I have seen no attempt on your part. Ever!" Her eyes flashed with her anger, and she ignored Xaver and Cody, practically forgetting they were there.
"I know not what goes on between you and Xaver. You are both stupid men, extraordinarily stupid! But as for my child, what has he done to show disrespect? He hardly says more than three words to you, always speaks politely...even though he knows you hate him for some d**nable reason! As far as Xaver goes, I ask you respect him when I can see it. What goes on when I'm not there is none of my concern, is it? But Cody has done you no wrong!" Her cheeks were turning pink from her anger, but the rest of her was pale. She was breathing hard, and she was tired, but she couldn't stop.
"Sirius, if you care bout me at all, you'd stop caring about me!"
Cody took a step back as he watched his mom. He'd seen her angry before, but not like this. It scared him a bit, the way her body was so hot. She looked pale beneath the red flush of anger, though.
Sirius felt as though slowly his sanity was slipping away as words came pouring in. He was being yelled out by one person, growled at by another, and yet another was looking at him like he was some bad omen. He ran his fingers through his hair, confused beyond reasoning. "I have appologized to you numerous times just now for my behavior towards Cody. Again I say to you, I'm sorry! d**nit woman I'm sorry for my rude behavier, my incompatance, and my inability to get past the fact that Cody is the spitting image of his father so yes I fear him. I don't wish any harm on Cody and I never have!" Sirius spoke these words as if Xaver nor Cody were there. He stared only at Ginny, though her face scared him.
"Then why can't you control yourself, dammit? Why can't you do one thing right in your life, you idiotic man? Why must you f*ck with my life like this! Every time I'm happy, you come along and mess it up! You're just as bad as Conan and Mahn!" She wavered slightly, closing her eyes as she suddenly felt faint. But she opened them after a moment and looked him in the eyes again, "Why can't you just do what Cody does? Why can't you be civil and distant? Why can't you leave me alone?!"
"Momma?" Cody spoke suddenly. His tone was soft, fearful. He saw how she moved, almost as if she were about to fall. He saw the flush of her face, the anger in her eyes and wondered slightly if this were too much for her. He swallowed, not moving towards her, but watching her.
Sirius found no words but merely stared and held out his hands from Xaver to Ginny to Cody. He hadn't meant to ruin Ginny's life but he saw now that he was. He swallowed and let his arms fall to his sides. He looked at the ground, not wanting to look in the face of the one he had hurt the most. Although at this point, Sirius couldn't tell whom it was. He had hurt them all by his ignorance and his interference. "Please, never compare me to the likes of Mahn." Those words stung in Sirius' mind. Ginny comparing him to the two people that she hated most in her life hurt him deep down.
Sarah stood at the edge of her door. She could not believe that she had stood there the whole time listening to this. She had tears down her face. She was in love with Sirius but by watching this she knew that she did not have his heart. She could not believe that it was to Ginny though. This is when she spoke up.
"Ginny, Cody, Xaver. If you want I wanted to let you know that my doors were open. I mean I could always use either the help or company." Sarah felt as if even though she was not. That she was almost as if a cousin to Cody.
Ginny ignored Sarah. They didn't need a place to stay, they had a million of those outside of their home. What Ginny wanted, what she needed was for Sirius to forget her. For Mahn to forget her. For Conan to forget her.
The only one she wanted to remember her, to be with her, to love her, was Xaver. He treated her better than all of them had in the past combined. She was tired of tell them this, tired of the way they insisted they couldn't feel any other way. Yes they could, she thought to herself, and if they don't start on their own I'm going to make them hate me.
But at the moment, all she could do was weave back and forth, hardly noticeable, and continue telling Sirius off, "I wouldn't compare you to them if you weren't acting like them."
"I am not like Mahn. I am no devil." Sirius faced turned red with anger as he spoke to the ground, unwilling to face the fact that at this point Sirius feared she was right. He rubbed his eyes as they turned red. Sharp pains sent through his mind and he breathed heavily.
"No, your worse than him! At least he has the excuse that he's f*cking psychotic!" Ginny hissed, her cheeks flaming even pinker. Her skin rose with goosebumps and she shivered slightly, though if you felt her skin she'd feel like fire. Her eyes were having trouble focusing, but she didn't notice.
Cody did though, and he tried again to get her attention, "Momma?"
Sarah stood there not sure what to do. She wanted to stop this but not sure how. It did not help that it was everyone vs. Sirius. She stood there watching what was going on but she was not going to fight it. She did not want to.
*Sirius Ginny right you should forget about her. I mean you can't be nothings but friends she will never fill that way about you. I know this is all my fault this started. If I would have keep my mouth shut. I'm Sorry.* Sarah sent him. She then walked back inside to get a drink then get back to work.
Sarah stop blaming yourself for stuff you didn't do. Sirius sent to Sarah irritated. Oh, and I'm sorry. Believe me, I love you just as much as I love Ginny. I lost you though, I don't like fighting a losing battle because I know you probably sick of me.
Sirius found no words, he merely shook his head violently and yelled like a mad man for a moment before angrily looking at them all individually. He felt like he was going insane, he feared he was. Sirius merely stood there, not knowing what to say, not knowing what to do.
*Siruis I can blame myself. I mean forget it leave me alone.* Sarah then poured her a glass of butterbeer.
*I mean you never lost me. I will always love you.*
Xaver had skills in empathy.
And he hated it.
More often than not, now, he blocked everything he would be receiving in that general area - though sometimes, his thoughts tricked him, and an emotion would slip through here. A thought, there.
There was nothing like being on the verge of slitting someone's throat, and feeling their fright, their last wishes. Nothing like going to a hospital. Or a cemetary.
It was enough to drive anyone crazy.
Xaver moved, though his movements were too quick to follow, and it looked as if he'd simply disappeared, then materialized just behind, and to the side of Ginny. He reached up, and gently touched her, the worn, calloused pads of his fingers grazing her cloak at the small of her back. He walked around her, his arm encircling her, and stood before her, blocking her view of Sirius, his moody, dark oceans flickering over her features with a renewed concern.
"Ginny," he said softly, tones without that threatening lilt they'd had with Sirius. "Dearest...?"
His words faded off, though his head tipped to the side, very slightly, a purely animal instinct.
One of those that actually had not passed down to Cody - Xaver's upbringing being far more severe, and his heritage, far more Fallen than the young boy could understand, quite yet.
His gaze was questioning. Curious. And, of loving concern, his eyes flickering over the splotches of color on her cheeks.
"I can feel the heat of you," he said, pointedly, though he didn't realize some might not understand that.
Concern for her, blocked his own pains and woes temporarily from his thoughts, though the inflamed bruises, the only injuries actually visible, took no initiative to fade, remaining dark and foreboding beneath the light, sharpening stubble of his jaw.
Sirius slowly raised his head but couldn't see Ginny's face. He raised to his toes, but still found only the dark features of Xaver's body blocking his view. For a moment he thought her saw a glimpse of her hair, but looked down and say Cody. Thus ending his want to see Ginny's face. He slowly sunk down onto the worn bench beside him, looking to the ground with little emotion at this point.
"What are you talking about?" Ginny snapped, not realizing that she unconsciously leaned against his arm to help support herself. She passed her eyes over his face and slowly began to calm down, simply because he had the effect on her. She glanced past him though at Sirius and scowled darkly, her yes looking into his.
-Stay away from me and my family.- She sent him telepathically, before leaning on Xaver all the more. Her cheeks were still bright in comparison with the rest of her face. Her body was still hot.
And Cody was still afraid of her, "Mom, are you ok?" He asked, his sweet little voice gone quiet and shaky, as though he were afraid to ask the question.
When she leaned against him, Xaver took the initiative, and gently pulled her to him, his other hand curling beneath her jaw, and tipping her head up, toward him, caring little of the glance she passed over his own shoulder.
Cody's fear seeped through his barriers, a thick, and lingering thing, and though Xaver didn't look at his son, he could see him, confused gaze, worried stance, and all.
"You know what I mean," he said quietly.
She was warm against him, not uncomfortably so, but noticably.
When he tilted her head, the world spun for a moment. She steadied herself by looking into his eyes, and suddenly felt how hot she was. She hadn't been aware of her growing body heat until this moment, although she hadn't exactly been cool before this argument with Sirius. She hadn't felt up to speed all day, which was why she had let Cody run around, keeping tabs on him with her mind.
She looked down at Cody, who was still watching her, and nodded, 'I'm fine angel baby. Just a little warm, that's all." Understatement, by far.
Cody nodded, though he didn't believe her words. He looked to his dad with worry, wanting him to do something about this.
Sirius sighed quietly. He knew he had intruded enough. He slowly stood and nodded to Cody politly before turning and pausing. "I'm sorry." Sirius started walking towards where Sarah was. Hoping to make one person his friend once more. A part of him was afraid it wouldn't work though.
Sarah had been standing at the door once again and had seen the whole thing. She however had one empty bottle and one half empty bottle that she was still drinking of butterbeer. She was not sure what she wanted to say.
She however sent Ginny and Xaver a message blocking it from everyone else. *Sorry I started all this. I know I should have kept my mouth shut. I mean I was the one that brought up him still likeing Ginny. I was upset that he was treating Cody wrong.*
Sarah then leaned against the door and took another swallow of her drink.
Cody watched Sirius go, feeling a bit sorry for the older guy. He only wanted people to love him. But there was no time for that, his mom was sick, it seemed. Cody looked back at her, "You sure?" He persisted.
"Cody, I'm fine." Ginny snapped, though not harshly. Just as though she were annoyed.
Sirius continued walking. Feeling depressed wasnt a ndew thing for him. Ever since he left Hogwarts things only seemed to get worse as the years past. He had no problem with Cody and Xaver and what they were. He admired them in all actuality. At the end of the day though Sirius's ego couldn't handle his lust for Ginny. He slowly walked to where Sarah stood looking out the window. He looked at her from the other side and placed his hand on the window. Breathing slowly. "I'm sorry." He mouthed to her from behind the glass.
Sarah knew that if she wanted to even have a chance with him she might want to open the door. She then walked over and unlocked it allowing him to come in. She then walked over and stood at the window again. She took another drink from the bottle.
"I forgive you but I'm not sure if totally. I mean it my fault all this fighting started. I mean I should not have told cody that you liked his mother." Sarah looked at him. Her eyes had went back to being the ones that she used to have. They were dark and looked at if there was no life in them at all. She was glad that it was off her chest in some ways but upset that she did it.
"Its perfectly alright. I shouldn't have these feelings in the first place. I mean, I love you. There's something about Ginny though that draws me unintentionally to her."
"I'm so sorry."
Sarah looked at him. "Ya your right I guess." Sarah then set the butterbeer bottle down in a pot hoping that she could throw it away later and him not know.
"So why you come by this morning."
"To shorten it would have to be the reason I just said. I love you and I'm sorry. I brought you that picture and such to show you the old times we had. The good times."
Sarah looked at him as she looked outside at the picture. She then ran up and wrapped her arms around him and started to cry.
"It just so hard. I mena everything brings back memories and then I relize that I miss it and can't get it back. " She then looked into his eyes.
Sirius smiled and his breath was taken from his lungs as he felt Sarah's touch once more. He breathed heavily and looked into her eyes. "I know. I also know I messed up, and I'm sorry. Every gosh dam day I'm sorry for that."
Sarah smiled at she looked at him.
"Well you mess up a lot but that what I love you for. I mean even when you do you come back kicking. And saying sorry."
Sirius smiled to her. "If it matters, I'll always come back for you."
"Ya I know that. That what I am so afraid of. I mean come one I would hate it if you came back to me and then ruin your chance of being the best Auror. " Sarah then out of no where leaned in and kissed him.
Sirius was taken back at first but then kissed her back before smiling, "I would give up everything to be with you though. Always and forever."
Sarah pulled back and looked at him. "that what I'm afraid of. I mean I don't want to be a burden. I mean I went to drink a little again but I'm stoping and your going to keep working."
Sarah then felt guilty that she lied and told him that she was only drinking a little. So the went to work on a puppy and she was not looking at him at all.
Sirius followed her and watched her as she worked for a moment. "Well then tell me what I can do! I want to help, I'll do anything."
"Anything..."
"You mean that well then this is what you can to. Become that Auror. Then come back and give me back my heart. I mean you will always have my heart." Sarah was not wanting to look at him because she had tears going down her face. She then walked towards the owls.
"Oh and while you do that come visit me."
Sirius followed her still. "Is there nothing I can do now? I will give up everything for you."
"well you can be your self." Sarah then turned as she walked towards him. "I know you will but I want to suceed like me."
Sirius nodded. "Okay. Look, I'm sorry if I'm coming off to clingy. Just tell me and I'll back off."
"no it not that. It is just that I want you to be happy to by being what you dreamed of weather it is with me or not."
"Thanks." Sirius's guy side was kicking in. He merely stood, not knowing what to say.
"oh well that fine. I want to be friend though. I mean it." Sarah was not sure want to tell him now.
"Oh... Right... Okay." Sirius nodded, faking a meek smile.
"Siruis you know what I meant" Sarah felt like all they did was fight.