Nates eyes fogged into a deep shade of black. his impulse pounding against his flesh. He took off his white shirt and slammed it against the forest floor. He decided to take a run to clear his cluttered mind. Nate digged his broken shoes into the dirt, and prepared to run. He took one last deep breath and ran so fast that he was just a blur. He didnt know where he was going or what he was going to do, all he knew was that he had to get out of this state of mind. Once he had ran out of breath and was totally lost he stopped and inhaled in deep gulfs of air. His heart was pounding so hard that his hands were shaking his chest hurt. His anger still spilled over him. He muttered under his breath,"Why does this have to be this way?"
"Why does what have to be this way?" A soft voice questioned from the forest. Jackie stepped out from behind a tree, and looked at Nate. He was shirtless and looked almost crazy. She remained a short distance away, but not out of fear. She was trying to give him some space.
She opened her mouth as if to say more, but stopped, thinking better. Then she waited, looking at him gently, her blue eyes soft and understanding.
Nate jumped in surprise. He softened his eyes as he noticed it was only Jackie. He ruffled his hair and took in a deep breath. He said softly,"Um..nothing..." He didnt look into her eyes, instead he looked at a tree, that was crooked with roots twisting unnaturally around the almost grey leavless tree.
"You know you suck at lying." Said Jackie, a tiny smile pulling on the edges of her lips. "So do you want to tell me why you're out here running around like a madman?" She asked, her face becoming soft and concerned again.
Nate shrugged, still not meeting her intense eyes. "I just wanted to take sometime to breath..i mean since..." he said nothing more, realizing that he said too much.
"Since?" Jackie prodded curiously and worried. She looked at him for a long moment before speaking again. "If you really want to be alone I suppose I could leave...?" She suggested, unwillingly. It was obvious to hear the reluctance in her tone.
Nate shook his head almost child like,"No please dont." He sighed and said almost quietly to her,"Its just that Stacey broke up with me..." he mumbled on hoping Jackie would stop him from talking.
"Oh... Well, I can't say much to help... at all." Jackie said, quietly, but a moment later her face lit up with a small idea.
Then she quickly walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him in a soft hug, even though he was a significant amount taller than her. It was almost funny. "I guess you'll just have to settle for a hug." She said, looking up, with a smile tugging at the corners of her lips.
Nate hugged her back tightly, for some reason it helped him feel better. He put on a shy sad smile and said in a light voice,"Itll work for me."
Jackie sighed, happy that he was finally past the crazy phase. She leaned her head on his chest since that was about as tall as she was. "See? Hugs make everything better." She said softly, tilting her head up again to meet his eyes.
Nate looked down at her sadly, his eyes twinkled slightly as he looked into her eyes. He wanted to never let go," Yeah," he said almost in a whisper.
Jackie smiled softly. "You know what else makes me feel better?" She said like a little kid, still smiling. Then she got up on her tiptoes and gently kissed him, a warm feeling running through her. "Kisses." She replied softly after she pulled back to look into his eyes again.
Nate kissed her back, his arms wrapped around her waist gently. He said quietly as he looked into her eyes,"I like kisses."
"So do I." Jackie almost whispered, getting on her tiptoes and kissing him again. Her arms wrapped around his waist and she prayed she would never have to let go.
Nate could feel his heartbeat pounding so hard that he could of swore that Jackie could hear it. He moved her in close to him and kissed her back. His lips touching hers gently. His head began to swirl and his eyes showed sadness. He pulled her away gently, only leaving an inch between as he whispered sadly,"Im..im sorry i cant do this."
Jackie stared at him, sadness and pain washing over her, but then it subsided to almost anger. "Why? Is it because you think I'll leave you like Stacey was stupid enough to do?" She asked incredulously. "If thats what you think then you don't know me at all." She said sadly, taking a step back.
Nates eyes were full of pain as he listened to her,"No! Thats not it," he said sadly. He said more quietly as he looked down," Its just im falling for you...and i still like Stacey. I dont want to hurt you..." he mummbled.
"Then maybe I shouldn't be here." Jackie said, still somewhat angry, but the pain was clear in her voice. Her hands trembled a little, but she stood still looking at him, her eyes swirling blue. "I don't want to be hurt anymore."
Nate looked at her as his heart sank,"Please dont leave. Im sorry! I dont want to hurt you either, you mean everything to me.." he said in a scratchy sad voice. He didnt want her to go. He also didnt want her to hate him.
"What?" Jackie asked the anger gone all of a sudden. "How can I mean everything when you still love Stacey?" She asked confused.
Nate shook his head,"I dont know. She hurt me and yet im not over her. But im just starting to like you. Im as confused as you are," he struggled to say more but nothing would come out.
"Ugh, headache." Jackie said sitting on the ground holding her head in her hands. Then she layed on her back and looked at the stary sky. "We're bpth pretty messed up aren't we?" She said, trying to lighten the mood, but her own pain and confusion were in her voice, which didn't help.
Nate layed by her and slid his hand with hers as he also looked up at the stars,"Yeah, you have no idea." He looked at her,"Im sorry." He said softly, meaning about everything. The confusion..and more.
Jackie bit her lip. "You don't have anything to be sorry for. I think that might have been the best time of my life." She said softly, turning to look back at the stars.
Nate sat up automatically,"What?" He stared at her with amused eyes."Did i hear you right?"
"Yes, you did." Jackie said smiling and laughing now at the expression on his face. "You sound shocked."
Nate shrugged,"Hmm..just a little," he replied," Your best time of y our life was with me," he said smuggly
Jackie smiled. "And thats a lot of time, considering I'm 124 years old." SHe said, a smile playing on the corners of her lips.
Nate smiled,"I dont care how hold you are, your still the girl i like." He looked at her with serious eyes but with a big smile.
"Well, I'm happy." Jackie said, looking into his eyes. "But I know what would make me even happier." She said, smiling like a little kid all of a sudden.
Nate smiled cluelessly,"Now what would that be?" He looked at her as his dark eyes turned a grey color.
(clueless *sigh*) "Hm... I wonder..." Jackie said sarcastically, before leaning over and kissing him softly again, the same warm feeling flooding over her as before. "Any idea now?" She teased.
Nate smiled,"I kinda do. But i think i might need a replay," he said moving her in close to him as he held her waist, and kissed her back softly.
Jackie smiled and kissed him back for a moment before pulling back, but still leaving only an inch of space between them. "I need you to promise me something." She whispered softly. "Promise to never scare me by saying you'll leave. Ok?" She said softly.
Nate looked at her through serious eyes,"I promise i will never leave you. No matter what." He wrapped his fingers with her,"Promise," he added again solemnly.
"Thats all I need to hear." Jackie said, squeazing his hand lightly and laying back down. "I've liked to look at the stars. My father used to make up stories so I could find the constellations." She said, trying to fins patterns, but was distracted at the thought of her father.
She tried to consentrate on stars, but now her mind was drifting toward her dad. He was dead and a small tear rolled down her cheek.
Nate still on his knees looked down at her as he saw a tear slide,"Hes probably looking down at you now," he said softly as he just suggested that her father might of died but he wasnt for sure.
(lol! i just remembered nate's shirtless! :o )
Jackie wiped the tiny tear away and looked at Nate, her eyes clouded. "He wasn't supposed to die!" She growled, pounding the ground. "He was killed by other vampires because he was good! He should be alive right now!"
Another tear streamed down her face, followed by a torrent, and soon her shirt had small wet marks. But they weren't just tears of sadness. There was anger in them too. Anger at the killers, who unjustly murdered her father.
Nate lifted her chin up and wiped her tears away with his hand gently. He grabbed her in his hands and wrapped his big arms comparibly to Jackies, around her.And cuddled her for comfort,"Its alright. It must of been hard.," he whispered gently.
Jackie nodded, trying to take comfort from the words. She leaned into Nate and stared wordlessly into the night for it seemed like forever. Her mouth was pressed into a firm line as the sadness completely faded away, but the anger didn't.
Now there was fear too. Fear that the same men who killed her father would come for her too, and eventually find all the 'good' vampires at Hogwarts too. "What if they come here? Looking for me.." She whispered.
Nate looked off into the sky,"I wouldnt let that happen. I cant loose you," he said with a grudge.
Jackie looked up at him, resting her hand on his face for a moment. "I would run away. I can't risk putting anyone else in danger. Especially not you." She said, softly, a sharp stab in her chest making her cringe at the very thought.
Nate looked at her in a daze,"Im not letting you do that. If you run away then im running away with you," he said firmly.
"I'll just sneak off. You do know I have ways of doing that? Don't you?" Jackie insisted, a trace of humor in her eyes. "I wouldn't underestimate me." She said, the solemnity returning to her voice. "You have to understand that if that ever does happen, I won't let you come. If something happened to you or anyone else.... I couldn't live with myself."
Nate looked through her eyes and knew that she really meant it,"But i couldnt live without knowing where you are and if your alright," he said quietly, almost above a whisper.
Jackie smiled half heartedly. "You'd have to learn how, I'd have to learn how to live without you too, but I could only do it... knowing that is was best. Not putting you in harms way just because I came along." She murmered softly kissing his cheek. "But thats hopefully nothing I'll have to worry about right now."
Then she wrapped her arms around him tightly. "If I left it would hurt you, but trust me... You'd get over it... But, if you died because of me... I-" She stopped choking off, not willing to continue.
Nates eyes darkened a deep black with a slight purple. His eyes had never done that before. He looked at her with compassion and sadness,"Please dont leave me. I would never get over it. It would hurt worse if you left me than dying because of you." He said in a half whisper as he looked away from her gaze,"I need you."
Jackie closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath before opening them again. "I should leave, if it was necessary. But... I know I can't. I'm not strong enough... I need you too." She murmered softly, sighing and looking down.
Nate looked at her again,"Then dont leave me," he said shakily.
"I won't." Jackie said, bowing her head to look at the ground. "You'll just have to some with me." SHe siad attempting to smile. "It'll be dangerous, but at least you'll be with me." She mrumured softly taking his hand.
Nate held her hand, never wanting to let go. "I love dangerous," he said almost above a whisper.
"I won't leave you, I promise Nate. Not unitl you order me away." Jackie said solemnly looking at the ground. "If you order me away though, I will leave. I'm only here if you want me to be." She said, cringing slightly, but trying not to show it.
Nate could tell that something wasnt right,"I would never order you away, or even think that. You should know that. Trust me with that," he said shakily.
Jackie smiled, ease settling across her face. "I trust you." She murmered, leaning over and kissing hin lightly on the lips as if to prove it.
Nate kissed her back softly, hoping she really meant what she said. He knew there were some things that she will never know about him or he hoped she would never know. He couldnt let that happen, he was afraid she would never forgive him for what happened in the past. He said nothing though. He didnt know what else to say at the time, he could only think of something that wasnt even good.
Jackie pulled back, looking at him in confusion. She felt something buzzing around in his mind. "Whats wrong?" She asked, searching his face. It looked somewhat guilty and sad. Hiding something, and it was something Jackie wanted to know. She was just curious that way. SHe always wanted to know everything.
Nate squinted his eyes in surprise and covered up his thoughts and emotion,"What? Pssh nothings a matter with me."