Harry Potter Fan

Softly flowing through the mind, numbing every fiber. The laughter, it kills the pain, drowns it out. Where has she gone, the one. I have something to tell her, nothing will stop me. She is the one. I can feel it, for the first time in my life. I'm not young, I'm ready. Give her to me.

Familiar smells of alcohol seep in from the brick wall, the Thee Broomsticks just next door. A fight, perhaps. Muffled voices, drowned out from his record player. Scott, staring numbly at the ceiling, closes his eyes. His smile, a fake one at best, his mind flowing through the last encounter of her, the beauty in his life. His mind was lost, his ears trying to close out the sounds from below.


Bang!

His eyes, an unforgettable shade of blue, shot open. Scott, now out of his dream, intent on listening to what is happening one wall over. A fight? No, he would definitely hear louder fighting then that. His mind, before distracted, now tries to tune into the thoughts of the others.

Annoying, arrogant fools. Drunk minds, nonsense, I can't understand anything. Do I go over there? Or let it unfold?

It typically did just that, unfolded and calmed after just a few hours. Normally, the fighting took place at night, the yelling, and sometimes a crash of glass to the wall, but this fight... in broad daylight? No one would be so stupid to get drunk at this time, well... anyone with sense at this point in time wouldn't.

That bang though, could it have been a flash of a wand? Not that it was any of his business anyway, the bartender would take care of it soon enough.

Scott's eyes lingered on the wall, it had changed. The atmosphere, so tense, was now silent.. like night, like death.

How... peculiar, he thought to himself. Not of normal activity at the Three Broomsticks. There was no banging of doors, no one had gotten the boot. So what happened?

Why should he worry about it, probably just a fight like any other night. Why was he so stuck on it? Scott shook his head, it was all psychological. He wanted a distraction, and it had been handed to him straight on. A dangerous one though, should he go check? He wanted to, of course... anything to get his mind off of Sarah. The beauty in his dreams, in his thoughts, everything reminded him of her, it was destroying him ever so slowly. It had been nearly a month since that night. It was just one night, why should it matter to him what she did now?

It did matter, most dearly. He wasn't in love, that would be silly to say after one night, but that night... was so incredible, even if it was just a simple hello and talk. Something had caught on to him, and it stayed with him now.

Memories, smell... touch... sight... all of it circulated in his mind.

Bang!

This time he stood. His mind, cleared of everything. This was his distraction, and whatever higher power there was in the above world, it was giving him a clear chance.

He slipped his robe on over his white dress shirt, slipping his black shoes on as he walked to his door. His house was small, but perfect for just one. Just him, that's all it ever was. It was simply a rectangle room. The front door, a faded green, led out onto the street of Hogsmead. His floors were dark brown, the floorboards waxed so well that you could see your reflection in them- if you looked. The walls were brick, all simple, no pictures nor rugs. Just this. This was all he needed.

He paused at the door, making sure his wand was safely in his pocket. It was, so he continued out the door. Walking for just a few feet in the warm air of summer, before turning a quick right. The Three Broomsticks sign swung lazily over his head as he stepped in, bracing himself.

"Prof-" Oliver stopped, he was about to catch Professor Steven's attention, then he saw his face.

Professor Steven, being the Herbology teacher, had been Oliver's favorite from the beginning. His first day, at the school he knew all about, and one Professor was the only to shock him. His wit, his intelligence, his quiet nature, had always drawn Oliver to liking Professor Steven. Oliver now considered him to be his mentor in a way.

Oliver had just finished up his first year at Hogwarts. He had loved it, just as his father, except for one problem. There was a girl, always a girl, in his mind. She was beautiful, blond hair, so tall, so pretty. She was to old for him... to mature... to bold. Oliver was meek, scared. He forgot everything while around her, still would to. She knew, of course, how couldn't she? They never openly said anything, after an unfortunate night that he actually showed his true feelings. He hoped she thought it had all faded, but of course... who knows with girls.

That was why he was in Hogsmead, trying to distract himself. He was just stepping out of the unbelievable candy shop when he had seen Professor Steven. On any other occasion he would have jumped at the chance to have a small chat with this teacher, except today. Something about the Professor, just by taking a glance, made Oliver stop in his tracks.

Professor Steven, normally flashing a kind smile and skip in his step, was not himself. Oliver watched him yank open the door to the Three Broomsticks, but before he did he caught a glimpse of his face. Normally so calm, now... so stressed.

Aren't Professor's supposed to be stressed during the school year? Not after? He thought, watching him with suspicion.

He could follow him, he had nothing better to do. It would probably be best not to stalk a teacher though, Oliver knew this. So he stood for a moment more, before sighing.

So I'll just... walk in and check on him, he shook his head smiling. He knew he would be happier if he made sure his favorite teacher was okay.

"I ALREADY TOLD YOU IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!"

"Mr. Black, you're paying for these broken tables! You're anger, it's extraordinary, but honestly, find a better way to take out your anger!"

His eyes, a cold red, held the broken remains of a table. The wood, jagged at its edges, was split right in two. Sirius had lost control. All the drinking, all the memories, he had taken two hard fists to the table.

This was his second one today.
Two tables, broken clean in to.

The bartender was mad, and he had every right to be. Had Sirius been sober, he would have realized this was a plausible reason to be. Sirius wasn't sober though... he hadn't been for several days now. It had all finally hit him. Sarah leaving, that was the first time he got rip roaring drunk. The first time in a long time. It had all gone down hill after that, Alexandra started school, James and Annabelle spent more and more time with there mother after a horrible night spent cleaning up there dad.

He was ashamed, beyond words. His heart, was no more. There was nothing to him, just darkness. He had changed, the alcohol and pain had taken over. He smelled of firewhiskey and body odor that had resulted in over a week of not bathing. His face, was stone white. His eyes, hadn't changed color, for a month. His facial hair was growing, longer then it had been for a while. He was to lazy, to broken, to care.

"Please, calm down. I won't make you leave, if you just stay calm, put the table down."

Sirius looked down, dropping the wood numbly. He stepped away from it, his hands shaking violently.
Drops of sweat fell from his face, or was it tears? His lip stung as salty sweat slid by, the sweat turned bright red. Blood? He had bitten his lip to hard, to hold back the anger.

He hadn't been this angry, since that unforgettable night spent in the woods. With Gi-

No! Not even in your thoughts will you think her name. She is gone, leave it be!

That night had changed him, the power that was bestowed upon him had gone away, because of her. She had saved his life, the tracking had stopped, he hadn't been bothered by unwanted relatives since then. The anger, the power, ever since Sarah and him had left, had been growing stronger. He remembered the feeling from that night, and it grew every time he thought of it all. The heartbreak, the challenges, the monster inside of him was creeping up every second of everyday.

He was addicted, he felt indestructible with it. Knowing that he had something hidden in him, it had always been a time bomb waiting to explode again. He should have stopped it while he could, but he didn't have the strength to. He liked it to much, and it grew.

Grew.
Grew.
Until now, here he stood. A broken soul, trying to fix itself in the best way possible.

Ching-aling!

The bell at the door made Sirius crank his head up quickly like a raccoon. A man had stepped in, a clean cut gentleman with blazing blue eyes. Sirius recognized him at once, and a fire was set off in him.

He's not worth it. Kill him. Don't. Think logically. He took her. You were already gone. He replaced me. You didn't care. Kill him. Don't!-

An inner fight had started, distracting his mind completely. He snarled, like an animal, the bartender's eyes widened. Sirius held tight to the bar stool beside him, trying with every inch of himself not to do anything. He didn't want to end up in Askaban, he had ruined his life enough. He just needed to stay calm, stay calm.

Calm was not a thing he had practiced for a while. The alcohol, the pain, Scott's appearance, none of it helped. He could kill him, easily. He didn't want to do that though, he wanted to hurt him. Sirius for the first time, wanted to watch another human being slowly die under his grasp. The thought was intoxicating, he didn't even care who watched anymore, he was changing even more in an instant. In an instant, all human instincts were lost. He hadn't felt so angered by one person in so long...

Not since Xaver.

Both are stupid, fools!

Xaver rattled something in him even worse then Scott. He had loved Sarah, yes. What Xaver had though, that was something that Sirius couldn't put into words. It was undeniable, that she was more of his world then Sarah. She had shown him something that no one else could. It was an unbearable thought.

Sarah, and her... they were gone now.

Forget them!

But of course,
He never would.

((Wow I thought you where all gone I'll reply later okay?????))

(The two above I know in real life, so I talked them into coming back for a few rounds with me :) It does seem strange doesn't it, all three leaving then coming back... I'm good heehee. Take your time, try and keep up with us if we go on. I think we all three are going to be on tonight, so sorry if we get ahead of ourselves.)

Scott went blank- his face, his thoughts, all numb. Gone. Nothing was holding him to the world, but what was in front of him.

A broken man, such a heartbreak. Scott kept one hand on the door, and one clutching his wand in his pocket. The site before his eyes, was truly a different one to say the least. Everything told him to walk forward, help what he saw in front of him, but the little kid inside him burned like fire thinking of Sarah.

Sirius had all of those years with her, the perfect girl, and had ruined it. Such a sick man! His thoughts screamed. Scott didn't understand how someone could throw it all away so quickly. He sighed, just staring for a moment at Sirius. He could tell, Sirius was not in his right state of mind.

Many pointers indicated this, but the thing that struck Scott the most about Sirius, was how lost he looked.

Even watching him the night he left Sarah, Scott noticed Sirius's nature about him that was slightly arrogant, but at least a calm soul. The Sirius before him, was different. The tension in the room, was all flowing from Sirius, he was a changed man.

Scott took in the room, the bartender, eyes wide, stared frozen at Sirius, who stared at Scott. Scott noticed the broken table by Sirius, mentally noting that broken wood such as this makes a loud bang, can be mistaken as a wand firing.

He snarled, like an animal,

Scott was awoken, from his watchful stature. His eyes widened, but he made no movement to leave. It wasn't out of fear that he stepped in, letting the door swing shut behind him and bringing them into silence. It wasn't to help the bartender- whose name he knew to be William- as he stepped into the room, slowly keeping an eye on Sirius. He watched Sirius, now taking extra caution. The nonhuman growl that had emitted from Sirius's body was not normal, Scott now took care to be ready to defend himself, should he need to.

He stepped into the musty room of the Three Broomsticks, because suddenly it was not only a distraction, but a curiosity. Why had Sirius made such a negative reaction to Scott's presence? Sirius should hate him for no reason, yet Scott saw the look in Sirius's blood red eyes, and though everything now told him to run... his curiosity got the better of him.

He was reminded as he walked slowly towards Willy, keeping his eyes locked onto Sirius's, of the simple saying, "Curiosity killed the cat."

Stupid cat, had he not been curious, he would still be alive... Scott... Listen to yourself think, you are not a cat, nor an idiot, but you are being irrational right now. Watch yourself son, you're walking into bloody water.

He reached Willy, placing a hand on his shoulder. It was a mark of relative acquaintance, but he squeezed Willy's shoulder, as if to reassure the squib that everything was okay.

"Anything wrong here, Willy?" Scott asked the tall bulky man beside him, his eyes flickering to him for just a second before returning safely to Sirius.

Curiosity...
that killed the cat.
Will I be smarter?

(Woah, Godmoder. Since it's you, I'll let it go. The William and squib stuff, it's okay. Anyone else coming in, don't say stuff that changes the character.)


William jumped, but didn't look away from Sirius. To frightened out of his pants to.

"Nuhh... No Mr. Steven, just settlin' uhh... uh little dispute is all." William's brow was sweating very nervously, it had been fine before, but now the state Sirius was in ever since Mr. Steven had entered, was so changed.. William just wanted Mr. Steven to leave as quickly as possible, he knew it would calm Sirius.

His eyes shifted, watching every little detail of Scott's as he made his way to who he now knew to be Willy's side. He scowled as saw the friendship between the two.

A cackle of laughter suddenly left Sirius's lips. He threw his head back, slapping the stool beside him, making it wobble under his whip.

"You two are friends? Oh this is just classic!" His voice was mocking as he continued, "Willy!" he was cold, howling at the two opposite of him. "Why yes everything is fine. Just a 'little dispute' as your 'friend' calls it." His hands were in quotations, his posture relaxed, but his eyes were flaming.


"Mr. Black, can we not be calm about this?"

"Yes, let's all be... RASH! What do you think Scott, isn't that just a buhhhhhrilliant Idea!" His eyes dazzled, his smile, evil in ever nature. He made his words longer, to enunciate the insanity in his voice.

He paused, his face solemn. He jerked his neck violently, his eyes clamped shut, his brow was creased as far as possible. He stuck his hand in his pocket, reaching for his wand.

Scott's uncanny ability to take in everything around him very quickly and decipher through it all always helped him in situations. Much like a cat, though the irony is uncanny, he was fast. The moment he saw Sirius jerk his head, so beast like, he knew it was time.

His wand was held forward, his hand calm, though his thoughts screamed. He knew a few things, most important being to protect William but also to calm Sirius. Help him. The thought seemed foreign. Help Sirius Black? The ex husband to Sarah Black/Jones? Where was the logic?

You walked into this. You and that d**n cat idea got all of this going, now fix it. Fast.

"Sirius." It was only a whisper, a plea to keep peace. The site of Sirius, his muscle tensing every moment, his face pained. It was a sad sight.

Scott knew if need be he could disarm Sirius, even get him to the ground in a wand fight. Physically though, his chances would be less likely. He sneaked a glance at William,
Well if all else fails I do have him.

He shuddered at the thought. He had given up any hope of getting into Sirius's head, at the moment it was not of utmost priority. He suddenly didn't want to be where he was. He didn't want to be standing here, on this peaceful afternoon, in a bar, with his wand out. He shook his head, he had gotten himself into it, he would get himself out of it then go and enjoy his afternoon.

"Sirius do not advance anymore, you are not in your right mind." What more could he say? He did not know how to calm the thing in front of him. Hardly a man anymore, his heart... was gone.

"What is going on here?"

Ginny's words came out half amused, but she wasn't. Seeing two people about to duel never amused her. She stood just behind Scott, looking over his shoulder at Sirius.
She saw the way he stood, could feel how crazy he was being. It was in the air.
She could smell the alcohol.

"You have a temper when you've been drinking, know that Sirius?" Ginny hadn't seen Sirius in months. Not since she was pregnant with Meliody. And Meliody was a good three months old now. But there was no hint of welcome in Ginny's face as she stared at Sirius.
At the moment, he annoyed her.

"How 'bout you boys stop playing before one of you gets hurt?"

His heart gave a tug. Not a friendly, welcome home... but a feeling that made Sirius clench his fist even harder to his pocket. He made no movement to stop, but clenched his eyes shut. It was probably not a smart thing to do in such a situation, but the feeling was overwhelming.

His shaky hand continued reaching in his pocket, like Pac-Man, he grabbed for his wand.
It took him a moment, but when his hands clasped around the cool wood, his whole body shook for a moment.

The inscription in the wand, burned, he could feel the power. It felt amazing, he felt indestructible.

"Good to see you again," Sirius finally opened his eyes, keeping his hand in his pocket. He kept his head down, but his eyes moved forward, his stare was petrified, with a dash of anger. "Ginny." He moved his head up then, looking at the ceiling for a moment before leaning it to the left then the right, stretching his neck. He felt so stiff.

It was odd, that he didn't jump at the sight of Ginny. It was odd, that he was as calm as he was. It had been months, he had tried to avoid any conversation of her, tried to distracted his mind from anything that reminded him of her. Only when he was drunk, was he reminded. Which is why, he drank more and more as the time passed. He hated the thought of her, but was addicted to everything about her. It was cruel really, but he compromised, the pain was vicious and unforgivable, but the memories were indescribable.

He stood there a moment, staring at the three in front of him. Scott, so calm... it surprised Sirius. William, the bartender, worried. Of course, they were in his place. People walking by didn't stop most fortunately, it was still to early for anyone interested for a drink. Then Ginny, he kept his eyes away from her, hadn't looked at her since she arrived. He knew she was there of course, he was afraid of what would happen... should he look at her pale face.

So pretty...

"Good enough to stop gripping your wand?" Ginny asked cautiously. She narrowed her eyes, wondering at Sirius's strange behavior. Was he, really?
Yes, he was wasted.

Drunks and wands didn't mix well. She knew from experience. Ginny took a slight step forward, glancing at Scott. Wasn't he a teacher? Then at Willy. He looked upset. Probably because Rosemerta would smack him sideways if any real damage happened in the morning shift.
Whatever.

Ginny shifted her eyes back to Sirius, "C'mon. Let go of your wand and sit down. I honestly don't feel like hexing you right now."
All she'd wanted was a cup of tea before she went home. That was it.
Now she was stuck in this.
Just her luck.

Scott relaxed at an incredible rate. He lowered his wand, but didn't quite put it away. With Ginny behind him, he was sure nothing would happen. He noticed Sirius's change, noticed his... aggravation with the appearance of this girl.

He didn't quite know Ginny, had heard stories of course... everyone heard stories about Ginny. He remembered her from school as well though, just a glance in the hallway walking by.

Sirius was so drunk, it was unbelievable that he was able to talk with such a straight forward manner. Scott looked behind him, shrugging at Ginny. He would let her handle it, she seemed to have a strong relationship with him, based on the way Sirius acted. A past girlfriend of his perhaps? Scott new she was with another man... rumors of trials against him were everywhere, he never knew what had finally happened with him and the ministry, just supposed it had fixed.

(This is really something Ginny and Sirius need to keep continuing, Scott cannot do much but stand there. Moral support!)

(Nice, well just keep reading then...)


"C'mon. Let go of your wand and sit down. I honestly don't feel like hexing you right now."

"It's funny," Sirius paused, taking a quick breath and looking at Ginny... finally.

She was pretty, of course. Plain, to some, but to Sirius something special. To this day, Sirius suspects that the only reason he grew to have such intense feelings for her, was because of the day in the forest when they kissed. Not the first kiss, his immature head first dive into it, the calm one. She taught him something that professor's aren't supposed to teach. He experienced something that he couldn't feel from anyone else, a new feeling, that he hadn't felt since that day. She had showed him, just a glimpse, of how her connection with Xaver influences there kisses.

It was such a beautiful moment in his life, one that he would surely never forget. After that day, everything about Ginny changed. Sirius always thought her pretty, but what his understanding after that day, his whole aspect of her had changed, she was suddenly one of the prettiest people he had ever come into contact with, simple or not.

He was dazed for a moment, thinking about her, not leaving her mouth. He never looked at her eyes, not anymore... call him crazy, but he preferred for some reason not to. He continued, his voice soft and a clear note. "I'm not afraid of you anymore."

Sirius used to be afraid, terrified in fact... of Ginny. Her power, was incredible... her abilities were like none other. The duo that Xaver and Ginny had together, was an impossible force. They're connection between each other was unbreakable, as were the two up against another. Sirius had experienced both a fight with Ginny and a fight with Xaver, though Xaver was more heartless... that being expected of course from a beast.

Sirius was only prejudice against Xaver because of Ginny. Looking from the outside, one would not read it in this way. Xaver's features, were not of a normal human, because Xaver was not a human, but something much more advanced. Sirius was in contact with centaurs, merpeople, and many other magical things in the world. Had he run into Xaver in another situation, in another time, Sirius sometimes pondered what would have become of the two. Surely he would have been nicer, more sophisticated. Being around Xaver though, did not bring out the best in Sirius. He was immature and egotistical around him, which always proved to easily get him into trouble. He didn't feel bad for the way he treated Xaver, he just wished Ginny would understand... would see why he felt this way.

Perhaps a part of her understood, quite possibly... but whatever part that may be... she ignored it very easily. Her love for Xaver was unquestionable, and it sickened Sirius.

He released his grasp on the unfortunate chair finally, bringing his hand up and brushing his hand through his hair. He needed a bath, most unfortunately though his hair did not get greasy, it looked older though. It was more ragged to say the least. His clothes, made him look even more lost. He wore no robe, he had left it on the stool but it had fallen to the floor now. A spider crawled curiously on it, gross. His pants, though at one point nice black work pants, were now clearly dirty. Dust balls and white stains were painted on them, and his shirt was just the same. A dark shade of green, one side was untucked and his sleeves rolled up messily. The shirt was wrinkled, and the top three buttons were undone. He looked drunk, though anyone watching him would only have to watch his movements, clearly obvious.

He didn't care, that was an obvious fact. Sirius didn't care about anything nor anyone anymore. His job hung on the balance, barely making it in for work... and barely being awake enough to leave. He slept well at night, but was always still tired. He slept whenever possible, and whenever he wasn't doing that nor pretending to make a difference at work... he was drinking. He didn't eat much anymore, which was strange for Sirius Black of course. Anyone hearing this news, would question his sanity... he was past questioning it now. He didn't care what he was, just so long as he wasn't entirely lost, he would be able to live day by day the way he wanted. He wasn't weak, which was surprising for someone who barely ever did physical activity anymore and who didn't eat.

Sirius didn't know why that was, his strength seemed to be... almost building as each day past. He thought that to be weird, but every time he had a chance to question it, he gave up. He didn't care enough about himself anymore to care. That was probably what was most sickening about it all, he had given up on not only everyone else in the world... but himself.

He no longer feared what he was becoming, he accepted it in an unhealthy manner. Expecting change... welcoming it.
Anything to get away from everything that was haunting him. Perhaps, he sometimes thought, the monster he was becoming, was what he was meant to be all along. Perhaps, he pondered, this was what he needed to be happy again. A drastic change, from the nice Sirius... to the feared Sirius. People wouldn't forget him then, people wouldn't question him. That's what he needed... invincibility.

Fat chance on that one...

His hand slipped into his pocket, as his other hand held out his wand. He wanted to hurt them all, watch them be in agony. He wanted to laugh at the idea, his eyes burned for their pain. He griped his wand tighter, Ginny could get him to his knees easily, but where would she stop? Did she have the heart to kill him? He wondered. He wasn't afraid to fight back anymore, wasn't afraid as before to hurt her. Before he never stood a chance of hurting her, and now was probably no different. An air about Sirius egged him on, dared him to push her to her limit. His curiosity made him thirst for the pain he would probably endure.

He was a sick man.
A different Sirius.
It made no difference to him now.
Nothing mattered,
except power.

(William is kind of motionless. Not much to say...)

What would Rosemerta think? That is all that shot through William's head as he stood next to the two. He knew Scott well, always a kind gentleman to a lowly bartender that took the morning shift. He loved the morning shift, not many customers came, so it gave him time to read his paper, or do some cleaning around the bar. Whatever was required of him.

He tried to always be a good man, but was forceful if necessary. He didn't particularly enjoy drunk people, mostly because of what they did to the bar. Of course, working where he did... he would have to deal with one at least twice a week. He figured the later shifts got to endure more then two. He felt lucky for his chance to work somewhere so homely as this. He knew this bar was an important part of Hogsmead, and Willy didn't come from much... so being apart of something so important made him happy.

Typically, the two people he dealt with weekly... were both Sirius. Sirius was a frequent visitor, and would frequently get just drunk enough to tell some entertaining stories to the bartender as he passed him different creations of alcohol. Sirius typically didn't have a preference for what he drank, and it gave William a chance to practice his concoctions that were not frequently requested. Sirius had a breaking point though, and William could always see it. One minute he would be laughing as Sirius pulled a silly move -something that he was sure Sirius would not remember come later in the afternoon- and the next Sirius would go quiet... and his anger would come out.

He liked Sirius though, and honestly that was the only reason he only threw him out when it come to a situation that was to dangerous for the squib bartender. He was on a first name basis with the man, but when in a serious situation he preferred to be more formal in dealing with him.

He was unbelievably thankful for both Ginny and Scott's presence, he didn't know what he would have done had Sirius pulled his wand without anyone else in the bar. He knew Ginny of course, everyone knew her. He had never developed a first name connection with her, but had great respect for her and her husband, after all they had gone through. He always took the time to give her a kind smile if seeing her out and about. He never knew if she acknowledge his attempt to be nice, but even if she didn't he still enjoyed seeing her.

This was the farthest Sirius had ever gone... and this was the first time that Willy was scared for both his job and his life. He stood motionless, beads of sweat dripping down his face. His hands stayed at his sides, his left holding tight to a dirty dishrag. He hoped this would be over soon, or at least out of the bar.

William wanted Sirius to get whatever was in his head out and get the monkey off his shoulder. He always knew there was something internally eating away at Sirius, he never knew what had happened in his past quite specifically. Sarah's name was frequently brought up, and he felt bad for Sirius at times. Ginny's name, was never muttered though... which is why his apparent change of feelings even more when she entered surprised him. He watched silently, barely breathing... he was terrified... but was thankful that maybe Sirius could figure it all out.

At a side thought, Willy took a quick glance out the window. I sincerely hope this isn't drawing away any customers...

Even if it was, he didn't want to interrupt them. Ginny would fix it all, he knew for sure she could...

For sure...
No doubt...
He hoped.

((Willy's small monologue there made me giggle like a silly child))

"I'm not afraid of you anymore."

Ginny's eyes narrowed, and the blankness of her face disappeared. She looked vaguely angry.
"I don't think I ever gave you reason to fear me, Mr. Black."
She hated when people were afraid of her, for seemingly no reason. She had rarely fought Sirius, and had usually held back, preferring not to harm the boy--now the man--that had once been her student. She had screamed at him a few times, but really. Was he afraid of loud noises?
Possibly. Ginny knew what his mother had been like.

She used his surname in an attempt to get him to focus, to realize that if she continued to strip any familiarity, it would be easier to harm him. But Ginny didn't need to warn him. She could have just attacked.
It was legal to attack if someone was pointing their wand at you. Self defense. Defense of others, since Scott and Willy were here.
But she warned him.
She cared about Sirius.

Just not the way he had wanted her to.

"I'm going to give you one more chance to put your wand down."
Without meaning to, she used the same warning tone she used on her five year old son when he was doing something wrong. She felt like she was scolding a child. He was acting like a child.

(The reason for that I know not...)

Sirius stood motionless, his eyes widened for just a second, when she used his surname. He looked at her still, his head tilted to the right now. Watching her.

"Suddenly so formal? Do you not consider me a friend any longer?" Sirius grunted a laugh. A small part of him stung at the thought, but he ignored it.
He had promised himself he wouldn't care about anyone anymore,
and he wasn't about to get weaker by questioning her care.

"Come on Gin, fight. Fight like I've watched you do before, fight in a way you would fight someone not your friend. For I see, I am nothing but a man to you anymore." Sirius thought for a moment, and tilted his head back. A howl of laughter came then, and he stomped his left foot forcefully to the floor. He turned back to her, smiling tauntingly.

His face went blank very suddenly. He realized he was not sweating anymore. His eyes, became unfocused, and he stumbled for the chair. He was no longer smiling, his heart pounded in his chest, he could practically hear it. His face turned to pure fear, and his eyes met Ginny's.

He recovered quickly, ignoring the wave of nausea that had hit him. He drank so much, puking was a typical thing for him now. He didn't normally endure that until a few hours of not drinking though, and it had only been minutes from his last one. He stood straight up again, though his hand returned to the stool. He kept his eyes on hers, suddenly feeling nothing else but anger.

"Do not tell me what to do, you have no control over me anymore!" Sirius practically shouted at her, his head shaking furiously to the sides. He held his wand farther out in front. Daring her with her eyes to advance.

He would lose, he figured... but this would be something fun, something to get his mind off of things. Maybe he would get the chance to hurt her. It was a quick thought, hurt her physically as much as she had hurt Sirius emotionally. Unintentionally or not, he had gotten hurt by her.

He wanted payback for the first time ever, whether it was her choice or not he would hurt her.
He just...
had to.

Ginny watched him for a moment, silent while he told her to fight him, silent while he almost fell, and even silent when he yelled at her. Her arms were at her sides, her hands unclenched, even as angry as she was. Did he really want her to fight him?
She'd fought people ten times his strength, disintegrated them into nothingness. She'd massacred entire villages, slaughtered entire armies. She was no weakling. Sirius knew this.
For him to challenge her was an insult.

"You want me to fight you? You say I have no control over you?" She let lose a hollow laugh that held no humor in it at all. She held up her right hand, arm straight, palm facing Sirius. Without moving, she used her telekinesis to push Sirius in the chest. It was weak push, just enough to make his body shudder. Just enough to remind him who he was pointing his wand at.
Ginny had a feeling he was past caring.

"Do not ask me to fight you, Black. I will tear you apart."
She dropped her hand, folding her arms.
"Remember who I am."

Unbidden, images came to Sirius's mind. Images of a younger Ginny, though she looked practically the same. The war, fighting alongside her friends. Images of Ginny fighting her ex husband, stopping just short of ending his life. Images of her wiping out entire groups of people.

"And if you chose not to remember who I am, remember my husband."
Now, Sirius could see clearly the image of Xaver Xian. Black hair, ice blue eyes, pale skin. The night that Xaver almost killed Sirius, knocking him to the ground in maybe five blows. Xaver's words from that night, still burned in all of their memories.
"I wouldn't kill you," Xaver had murmured, darkly. "I would.. skin you. I would enjoy the slow, agonizing process of ..tearing you apart. And, you would watch me do it. Watch, as you bled from every f__king orifice you possess in the sack of bones you so pathetically inhibit."

Ginny let the images fade from Sirius's mind, her eyes keeping on his. Her arms folded, her feet slightly apart, she looked like a small but impenetrable wall. She scowled darkly at Sirius.
"You anger me, you upset me. But worst of all, you disgust me, Black. Sitting here in a bar, drinking away your sorrows? Pathetic." She spat the last word.

Sirius felt the shudder, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't close off his mind. He was to distracted, to angry. His heart ached, he felt he was being torn apart by the images, the deaths... the Ginny he barely knew. He wished he could fight back, wished he was powerful enough. A false sense of security made him feel as though he was capable of fighting back.
Of course he wasn't.

Then Xaver flooded his mind, every feature of the creature. He closed his eyes, trying to block out the images. It was no use, Ginny Weasley knew no bounds.

He felt relief, as the memories left him. He let his head drop for a moment, his eyes still closed. A small sigh left him, his body shuddered... then relaxed. He stood statue still, he looked almost asleep.

"What else am I supposed to do?" He growled, opening his eyes. He stared at the floor, and closed his eyes once more. His body shuddered, every muscle tensed. Slowly though, he opened his eyes once more, and his wand fell to his side. He still felt the power, but tried to ignored it.

His breathing increased as he tilted his head to the left, staring at her. She looked angry, he shook his head a bit, looking at her as he did so. So angry, and yet still so beautiful.

Sirius looked pained, his face was contorted into a frown, his brow was very stressed. His nostrils flared as his chest moved up and down.

It was dead silent for a moment...
before hell broke lose.

Sirius closed his eyes, another wave of nausea hitting him. He doubled over, clutching his body. He stumbled, but didn't fall. His heart, his mind, everything suddenly felt like it was on fire. There was no relief, just agony. He wriggled in pain, and crouched on his right foot. His knee touched his chest, his hands he put firmly on the floor. His wand he still somehow managed to grip, as he swung his left leg from under him, making it smash into the stool next to him.

It tumbled to the floor with a loud bang!
Sirius yelled then. He knew nothing else to do. What he was feeling, was indescribable. He wanted relief from whatever it was. He closed his eyes, clenching his fists on the floor. He stayed balanced, but threw his head back. All he heard was the yelling, not words... just pain.

He grabbed for the stool legs with both hands, taking a firm grasp on it.
He dragged it across the floor very quickly, letting go as it got to the other side of him. It slid across the floor, and rammed into a table across the way. The table, struck strongly, wobbled for a moment before falling as well.

Sirius continued yelling... everything was coming into his mind. Images of the past, present, people, memories, everything that had ever hurt him. He could not tell why, perhaps Ginny was doing this to him, he wasn't to concerned... just wanted it to stop.

His hands fell to the floor, and he looked as if he was bowing towards them.
The yelling continued,
He didn't know how to stop.

"What else am I supposed to do?"

Ginny had been about to answer him when his screaming started. She didn't flinch, though. The screams continued beyond what she thought was normal. What was wrong with him? Was he crazy?
Well, yeah.
But not like this.

As Sirius fell to the ground, she took half a step forward. Somehow, she knew he wasn't faking this. He really was in pain. From what though she had no idea. His hands went out, as if he were bowing down before her and the two others.

"Sirius?" She questioned, but she doubted he heard her through his screaming.

Pati...........

Externally Sirius felt, heard, and endured his own screaming.
Internally however, a new voice.

Pat...........

It was painful to hear his own cries, his mind felt disconnected from his voice, a different person completely.
It took him only a moment to grasp reality, or rather what had seeped into reality. Far from that as he was, he managed to focus his mind... and listen.

Patience, perfection, persevere.

It was soft, a monotone voice as if spoken in a library to avoid an unruly glare. Sirius was no nut though experience showed people otherwise. Magic was a weakness that he did not have the patience to always learn about, especially in concerns to the mind. It was always a strange thing for him, he felt disconnected more times then not from his own head, but shrugged it off.

This voice however was smoothing. Not only was it suggestions, but Sirius felt almost compelled to oblige. He heard his own screams, but thinking this other voice... these other thoughts besides his own... he wanted to listen to the words, and calm his own self.

Calm your own self... like that could honestly happen. I need to get a grip, whatever is happening isn't something to think to much into... prolly to much to drink. Snap out of it, go screw with Gin some more. Hm, that sounds like something of interest to me.

Patience, perfection, persevere.

You are losing it kid. Quit this. Just stop screaming.

Sirius tried to close his mind but was much to drunk and much to inexperienced to do so. Besides, the voice wasn't causing pain... wasn't telling him to go destroy tens of thousands of people... it was just offering some simple suggestions.

Now the alcohol is making more sense.

Pat........

Externally Sirius shuddered, rejecting the thoughts as if they were of no importance. He managed to find himself, and find his physical and mental self. In his thoughts flooded images that burned everything in himself. He shook his head, hurting the pressure in the first place. He was aware now, at least.

He found his voice, though the thoughts still circled his head. He felt nauseous from them, and whimpered under the pressure of past, present, and everything else that had collapsed in him. He felt the anger, felt the pain, felt the sadness, all at once... all with the memories.

Then a thought came to him- Sarah Black. The name seemed foreign to him. Yes he had thought of her many times, but always out of sadness or frustration. This however was a different memory, an experience they had both learned and lived through. The power that Sirius dealt with for such a short period of time, the complications with his family member. Sirius remembered all of this suddenly, as if it were screaming in his ear. He hadn't thought of it for a long time- years if he was so blessed.

Of course; it clicked. His wand, the inscription so strongly reminding of his family had awoken something within him that he had only experienced once, and in levels that paled in comparison to the strength he felt now from his wand, and his memories.

Though Sirius stayed on the floor with labored breathing and short bursts of howling, his mind was somewhere else, thinking back on the power. It felt like such a distant memory, he had always been one to not pay attention to the most crucial of facts.
It hurt to think deeply, and every part of him ached. It was but for another moment before he realized his clamped shut eyes and motion filled posture that began catching up to him.

Doubling over, Sirius puked.

Sick...

(Don't know if any of you are gonna take a stab at this with me again. Ginny should you chose to do so, perhaps don't jump into your mind games just yet? Could get some more out of Sirius if she at least doesn't tell him or protect him from his own mind.)

((can do chicka-dee. All you need do is tell me where you wanna go. :) ))

His screaming went on and Ginny felt sick at the sound of it. She wasn't sure what to do, was conflicted. He was--had been--a friend. She didn't just jump into her friends' heads. She'd never done it to Xaver, to Sirius so few times. Now she wondered if that was what she should do. Disconnect him, put him into a sleep?

The screams turned into short choppy howls. Still nerve jerking, but more bearable. He puked and she frowned, her brow wrinkling together. Despite the fact he had somehow been able to tread on her every nerve, she was concerned for him. He'd almost ruined her marriage before it had began once, and yet she still felt a connection.
She loved this guy, but not like she loved her husband.

Ginny knew somewhere in her that if she had never met Xaver, if he had never been sent to Hogwarts, she might have given Sirius a chance.

It was what made her care about him. She's taught him, befriended him, helped him. He'd helped her. Ginny felt like they had a bond. She knew a lot about magical bonds, and she felt like the one between them was such.

"Sirius?" She let her concern lace her voice as she took another step, avoiding the puke and kneeling down next to him.

As his bodies fight or flight defenses took over, Sirius fought back the sudden urge to puke again. He shuddered, forcing the ick away from his mind and throat, he didn't want to embarrass himself even more. His senses were shutting down, he was aware of the presence of others around him, could tell he was on the floor and his knee was slightly covered in puke, could hear distant sounds of people outside, and could even make out one very distinct person next to him.

As much as he was upset by her, the site of Ginny made him calmer. He closed his eyes, still whimpering, his body aching all over... both physically and emotionally. As if the taste of stale liquor and stomach acid wasn't enough, Sirius tasted an all to familiar taste. Though he enjoyed it, even the site of it he knew would make his unsuspecting friend become even more uncomfortable.

"Blowedads," he muttered. Even in his head the word sounded muffled. He shook his head, which proved to be an unsuccessful way to increase his dizziness just enough to make him clutch his side.

He tried again, this time focusing on each individual letter. "Blood..." He managed, licking his lips... determining that he had bitten it even harder. He soaked in the taste and breathed in the silence, shaking as he exhaled.



Well at least this means I won't be fired.
William stood watching the two from the floor. Everything had happened so quickly, the squibs old eyes could barely keep up. All he could tell now, all that mattered to him really, was that Sirius was calm,
That Ginny had saved the day just like everyone said she was so incredibly capable of,
That the damage done could be replaced,
And that he held a dirty dish rag that would soon say hello to the very elaborate mixtures of drinks on the floor.

He was almost happy at how quickly it had gone from catastrophe to silence. He was also a bit worried at the thought of what had happened behind the scenes that he himself did not poses the power to understand. Even Sirius's screams seemed incredibly out of the ordinary from his usual self, which from experience Willy had learned was unstable and a bit frightening. However what had happened shook the very core of this man, and William saw it for what it was...

Mental note to ask Mrs. Weasley about what happened later.

Ginny's stomach turned at the mere word. She could smell it before he spoke. The puke on the floor didn't bother her, but the blood did. It turned her stomach, made her want to throw up. Nervousness flared up in her eyes at the word, she shifted slightly and bit her lip, forcing her stomach to calm itself.

"Yeah...it's ok." It wasn't but she lied.

"William?" She didn't look at the barkeep, "do you have any rooms available? I think Mr. Black needs to sleep ff his alcoholic binge..."

That wasn't it though and she knew it. Something else was wrong here. She could feel it in her bones.

Sirius heard the words, but understood them for what they were- lies. He numbly grabbed at his shirt, lifting it to his lips, hiding the blood. Typically he would have done a spell, but found it to difficult to do from exhaustion. He settled for the next best thing, he hated Ginny's uncomfortable nature in terms of blood.

William did not jump at the sound of his own name, but simply nodded, his eyes locked at the floor where Sirius had lost some of his morning drinks.

Having worked there for so long, he had become a skilled barman. Always keeping up to date for his morning shift with anything unnesccesary or complications that needed to be fixed. After so long he became very skilled at his profession, and loved this homely job of barkeep. He contemplated, clicking his tongue to the back of his lower teeth absentmindedly.

Do I clean 'er up now, or 9888888882p0-0 wait until after Sirius is settled...

He struggled, thinking of the positive and negatives from the mess.
Clutching his rag tighter he forced his eyes from the floor, and nodded to Ginny on the floor.

"Wha'ever you think will be right Ms. Weasley, Sirius is as welcome as welcome can be." William smiled, satisfied that he could help.

(Eyy kids.)

Scott took this news to his advantage. The lowly school teacher could do nothing but watch as the scene unfolded before his eyes. He was terrified of what was going on with Sirius, unsettled by the idea that he could not understand something happening right in front of him. It wasn't until now when needed assistance was brought up that Scott realized his potential in helping the situation.

He spoke up, hardly considering who it was that would need the room for a night, but also forgetting what he came her to forget. And for that, he would later be thankful.

"You know, I live right next door. So as to prevent any more complications in this bar for a day, Mr. Black would be very welcome to stay with myself. I honestly do live just next door, it isn't very big... but it would be enough for him as he... recovers." He chose his words carefully, desperate to keep calm though knowing that even the sound of his voice could interrupt something violent in Sirius.

Perhaps a part of Scott was eager for yet more of a distraction, perhaps he felt sorry for the man laying in a mess of a heap on the floor, or even perhaps he was curious about the sudden outburst that he had witnessed... either way... He wanted to help.

Curiosity kills. . .

Ginny gave Scott a grateful smile, silently relieved. She knew William did not want Sirius here, knew Rosemerta wouldn't want him here, would have only done it out of a favor for her since she would have asked. But this was much less trouble.

"Help me walk him there?"
Ginny could have done it on her own if need be, she had dragged bigger men than Sirius Black across miles. Usually, though, that was under extreme circumstances. She had learned to accept help where needed.

She was thankful Sirius attempted to hide the blood, but she could still smell it.

Sirius felt a wave of anger fly over him. It attacked everything around him, trying to get in his head and make him yell. He wanted to object, would rather spend time on the street rather then Scott Stevens house. He scowled, his face growing darker, his anger building up.

Patience...

The voice collided with his mind like a bullet and it shocked Sirius. He gasped for breath as his head got uncomfortably painful. He forced back yells, swallowed, closed his eyes... and breathed.

A strange calm fell over him. Silence in his thoughts like a small flame. He was scared, but ignored what he was enduring.

Dam alcohol...

The serenity made him quiet, and he nodded, obliging to the use of Scott's household for the evening.
He was much to weak however, to stand.

Such a simple matter for others did not come as easily with Sirius. He hated that he would need help getting his frail body to another room, and especially hated that it was to be Scott to help him... but more importantly Ginny? He did not want in any circumstance to have to accept help from her.

"Help me walk him in there?"

"Uhh..." Scott was taken back, highly unsuspecting an agreement to the idea. He nodded quickly however, recovering. "Yes yes, of course. Here if you could just get him by his left left shoulder there and I'll take care of his right side." Scott was light on his feet as he bent to Sirius's right side, placing the intoxicated man's arm on his own shoulder, he waited for Ginny to join him, though he knew he could certainly lift Sirius himself. He wanted her help, perhaps it would keep Sirius calm.

He ignored the smell of puke, reminding himself of what his mother used to tell him when he was a child.

Monkey see monkey do.

Though he was feeling shock of the smell, he ignored his stomach curling... wanting to mimic the spilled remnants.

Ginny held her own breath as she knelt and helped Scott pick Sirius up. The smell of blood was growing stronger as more of it seeped into his mouth and it made her already fair skin grow pale. Slowly she breathed through her mouth in order to avoid the smell, but doing that made her think of the stench covering her tounge. Ew.

She nodded to Scott and the two of them heaved Sirius up and across the room. He wasn't heavy, in fact it felt like he'd lost a lot of weight since she'd last seen him. They left the bar, Ginny smiling once at William before the door closed. She let Scott lead the way to his home, silent and concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other.

They entered Scott's home and Ginny spoke, "D'you have a room for him?"

Sirius was so desperate to deny the help, but was too weak to deny it. He walked obediently with Ginny by his side as they entered Scott's house. The least likely place Sirius would want to find himself at this point, but he didn't have any other choice. He walked like a dog on a leash.

Stupid dog.

He knew he was walking into a dangerous place... rather willingly.
His head was silent, what a peaceful thing. He was to focussed to lose his view of the floor, he didn't know what the rest of the place looked like... just that the floor was rather shiny.. he could almost see his reflection.

Clean freak...

Scott was giddy as he led Sirius to the black leather couch against the wall of the far side of his home. He wanted to make sure he did everything right, but was overcome with the idea of him in such close proximity to him. He placed Sirius on the couch with the help of Ginny, and stood back... awkwardly wondering what he should do next.

Out of the corner of his eye he spotted a picture frame. His hands grasped the wooden outline and he quickly turned the picture around.

It was a special moment for Scott, when that picture had taken place. Sarah and him had only just met, and after a week of unsuspecting circumstances they had taken this picture. Scott was sincerely happy with her right then in that moment, that anyone looking at it would recognize and get a glimpse of a small fraction of emotion that he had felt. She was smiling, laughing, and enjoying herself and Scott... vulnerable Scott, was taking in every feature that was Sarah. His eyes were closed as he breathed her in, as she unknowingly made him drunk with her presence.

Scott shook his head, shaking away the memory.


(I don't like that I put that about Sarah considering they didn't share that memory... but I'm not to positive as to where she went on this site...)

((She doesnt sign on much anymore.))

Ginny was an observer. She noticed that Scott's place was neat, sparse. It matched Ginny's opinion of Scott, that he didn't have much on his plate. His own reaction to Sirius's presence within the home confused her.

She let it slide.

As Scott turned the picture around, Ginny caught a glimpse of it. Sarah, Siriu's ex-wife, and Scott were both in it. Suddenly Ginny felt old. And to these hardly adults, she was. After all, she had taught Sirius and Sarah both.
Granted, she had started teaching at 15. Yet, she felt so much older.

So old...

Ginny pushed the thoughts away, "Scott, why don't you get him a pillow and a blanket of some sorts?"