Name: Luke Erik Forlity
AGE: 138 (Looks like he's 16)
Height: 6 ft. 1 in.
Appearance: Luke is tall and pale, with dark brown hair. His hair is soft and fairly long, almost coming to his eyes. He has bright green eyes that almost seem to cast their own light. He's very strong and has a six pack, sometimes eight after he works out. When he gets hungry, his eyes turn darker shades of green, eventually fading into black. His lips are the perfect shade of pink, and he takes good care of them, hoping to find a special someone that would enjoy them.
RACE: Vampire
Parents: John and Sarah Forlity (Both Dead)
Personality: Luke is normally a very happy person. He tends to keep his emotions deep within himself for long periods of time. Then, when he can't hold them in any longer, they all come pouring out at once. This causes a very bad day for him and anyone that he encounters. He is nice and funny, and loves to use sarcasm.
Likes: Luke likes to exercise, and when he gets angry, instead of letting out his emotions, he strains himself physically. He also likes to swim and run, both of which he is very good at. He likes almost all animals, but prefers bears when he can find one.
Dislikes: He doesn't like disloyalty, and is always loyal. He doesn't like the sun, mostly because he is a vampire. He also doesn't like the cold. Other than that, there isn't much that Luke doesn't like... he tends to be an optimist and find the good in things.
Power: Luke is best at working with fire. After years of practice, he can do almost anything with it. He often gets carried away, and when he does, bad things can happen.
History: Luke was born in a small town in Europe. He was raised well and worked hard. He lived on a farm, where he worked almost all of the time. He went to a very small school with everyone else from his town. He studied hard and did well.
Luke had always had a passion for fire, loving the way it devoured anything in it's path. One day, as he was experimenting with it, a building caught fire. The fire destroyed the thatched roof, quickly catching the buildings around it. Soon the entire town was ablaze. His parents were both killed in the fire, and Luke has forever hated himself for it.
He ran away, hiding in a forest far away from his town. There he encountered vampires who transformed him. They deserted him, leaving him to figure things out for himself. Now, years later, he has come to Hogwarts.
This isn't bad actually. Espeically for your first one.
Welcome to the site, and can't wait to RP with you.
Sorry to say this, but no Vampires are allowed anymore due to there being too many. But good bio and you need flaws with your powers.
Good luck! Like ur description!
Thank you! I'll go back and edit it to put more flaws in.
What does RP mean?
Roleplay.
Oh... is that where you act out your character? You play your role? (Kind of self-explanatory...)
Well you play as your character, it's pretty much just writing a story, but you have to stop where as so some people can join in if they want, and you have to do it in 3rd person (He/She/They). That much, and best to read other people's roleplays before you start.
Okay! Thank you so much! I'll be sure to do that!
You're welcome, I'm just passing on what the others passed on to me.
Ok.
First of all, if you're a vampire and 138, you'd be dead by now, since this is the harry potter universe.
http://www.harrypotterfan.com/forum/index.php?topic=5669.0
Not forcing you, but it's smarter since you haven't grown your character so much, that you can't go back without changing who he is.
Harry Potter vampires seems to be a bit more based off the Dracula type Transylvanian, loves blood , fang teeths, and maybe not so in love with the sun?
But it's hard to know, since JKR hasn't really described them clearly.
Anyways, good try for your first bio. PM me, if you want to rp some time!
Even though I'm going to camp soon :D
Well, he was 16 when he was changed, so he looks like he's 16, but he's actually 138.
And I did read that, but I thought that since I'm willing to write that it would be okay.
I said he doesn't love the sun, and I think that if he's supposed to have fangs that they only come out when he feeds... is that okay?
Thanks! ;D
You've been accepted by the bio wizard, you mainly made your character twilight-like.
She ^ is right! (Heather)
I'm sorry Luke, but you should read the rules before you post.
http://www.harrypotterfan.com/forum/index.php?topic=2314.0
It says no vampires.
Okay, well I read the topic for vampires and it said that I could have a vampire character... I'm really confused.
I thought there was another topic made later saying you could make vampires?
I'm confused.
Yeah me too. That's why I made a vampire. I like to write, and I plan on doing so.
I don't see what the problem is...
Well there's too many, this isn't a vampire site. But anyway good bio, and always listen to the bio wizard (Fudge)
Quote from: Miss Xantier on July 30, 2009, 12:21:17 AM
Well there's too many, this isn't a vampire site. But anyway good bio, and always listen to the bio wizard (Fudge)
Fudge ain't a BIo WIZARD!!
I reckon there is nothing wrong with it. As long as you keep it Harry Potter not twilight related I quote from KIara!!
Quote from: Bucky Black on August 6, 2009, 02:24:36 PM
Quote from: Miss Xantier on July 30, 2009, 12:21:17 AM
Well there's too many, this isn't a vampire site. But anyway good bio, and always listen to the bio wizard (Fudge)
I reckon there is nothing wrong with it. As long as you keep it Harry Potter not twilight related Iquoute from KIara!!
There are no vamps. No exceptions.
Quote from: Miss Xantier on August 6, 2009, 11:16:32 PM
Quote from: Bucky Black on August 6, 2009, 02:24:36 PM
Quote from: Miss Xantier on July 30, 2009, 12:21:17 AM
Well there's too many, this isn't a vampire site. But anyway good bio, and always listen to the bio wizard (Fudge)
I reckon there is nothing wrong with it. As long as you keep it Harry Potter not twilight related Iquoute from KIara!!
There are no vamps. No exceptions.
Do you know her I Do Kind OF
no.
Well, thanks for trying to come to a conclusion, but are either of you moderators? And if not, can you tell me who is?
Ginny Weasly is a mod, and the admin doesn`t come on that often or deal with this kind of problem. Listen to Albus.
Quote from: potter_fan122 on August 9, 2009, 12:11:59 PM
Ginny Weasly is a mod, and the admin doesn`t come on that often or deal with this kind of problem. Listen to Albus.
I can get Kiara!!
Seriously, Luke, listen to anything Albus (Fudge) or Ginny say. They can help you. Kiara doesn`t get on that often, but if she does, she can help you. You`re bio could use some more details, if I were to be honest. You have a good start, but dry putting some more details into it.
I can`t believe I`m saying this, but you might want to read Stacey`s bio. It`s long. It took me a long time to do. You should also read Ginny`s or Albus`s. They can give you some good ideas. Albus would know more suggestions than I can, because he`s been here longer, but that`s what I got so far. Don`t read my bio, really. It`s bad. Read Albus`s.
;) :D
Good luck. :P
Do not, read, mine.
:D I'm to lazy to update it, and it's semi short. It's so old, it's on the seventh page of bios! :O :D
http://www.harrypotterfan.com/forum/index.php?topic=5948.0 (http://www.harrypotterfan.com/forum/index.php?topic=5948.0) Read this instead
Now over to your bio.
Appearance: A bit short, it misses some details. Like, does he have a big nose? A small pointed one? Big eyes? Small eyes?
It doesn't hurt to take to much. Better to have much, than little.
Personality : Your personality is okay, and that's it! There's no depth in him! Would you write five sentances about yourself?
Your making a fictional character, not an empty shell! It's a real person!
To make an example of what more you can put in: His parents is dead, how does he takes that? He's lived for a long time, that should impact his personality. He's probably seen his friends die several times! Your character doesn't really fit so much as he is after have lived 138 years. Keep it relative.
Likes/Dislikes : Okay enough, add some more.
History: For a person who's lived for so long, it's extremely short. I don't expect like ten paragraphs, but some length. 138 years of peace and no enemies? Don't think so :)
Your bio is overall okay, but it has many holes. And he's got no flaws, seriously.
And please, modify your profile and take my tips, I didn't do this for funziez.
Thank you so much Albus! I really appreciate the imput. I'm working on changing the bio right now, so I'll probably have it up soon...
Hi, welcome to HPFF! It's always awesome to have new members who plan on being active. I love it.
I know I'm a bit behind everyone here, but I've been sort of busy outside of this site, so you'll have to forgive me.
However, here's the thing. Miss Xantier and Bucky Black were obviously trying to help you. For that I applaud them, however, much of what they say isn't going to help you at all.
Still young'uns they be.
As for the vampire thing, here's the deal. Many of our wonderful members, new and old, read and loved Twilight. And so they created vampire characters. Good for them (note the sarcasm). However, this is not, in any shape or form, a Twilight website. From what we have read in the HP books, vampires kind of follow along the old way. Sorta scary to look at, problems with the sun, and an irresistible urge to drink the blood of humans. They also don't have souls, so they don't have feelings. Boring to RP with in my opinion.
I'm not saying you absolutely cannot have a vampire character. I am saying, however, that there are way too many and being one is nothing special and in fact seems completely boring to me and my own characters.
If you don't want to be a regular human, use your imagination and come up with a new sort of creature that will comply to the HP universe rules.
As for the general bio, you did a very good job. I've seen much much worse, but I've also seen better. Do as Albus has pointed out and it'll help. He's been tutored by the best (myself and others) and knows what he's talking about.
If you have any questions, feel free to PM me and I'll help you in any way possible.
Thank you Ginny!
Would it be okay if I was a wizard that just happens to not die and has to be killed the same way that twilight vampires do? How about a faerie? Kind of the same idea as the first mentioned one, but with some wings attached? I'm hoping to keep the immortal idea going, but also stick to the rules about vampires.
I hope you like the edited bio, my theme was adding in every possible detail... I'm going to leave the race area blank and remove all traces of vampire-ness from it.
Name: Luke Erik Forlity
AGE: 138 (Looks like he's 16)
Height: 6 ft. 1 in.
Appearance: Luke is tall and fairly pale, with dark brown hair. His hair is soft and relatively long, but he likes to spike it up. He hates putting gel in his hair, vainly thinking that it destroys the natural lust. He has bright green eyes that almost seem to cast their own light. They can't change color, but when he's really sad or lonely, their color dims.
He's very strong and has a six pack, but it doesn't stick out unless flexed. He has strong arms and legs, laced with muscle that's hidden under the surface. His body isn't cut like many body builders, but rather smooth, not ostentatious. He's well proportioned, but with arms and legs just slightly longer than the usual.
RACE: ?
Parents: John and Sarah Forlity (Both Dead)
Personality: Luke has been in seclusion for a very long time, and only recently found his way out of the forest in which he had been hiding and into the magical world. Obviously, when alone for such a long time, one loses sight of how people act. This fact causes Luke to be slightly awkward. He says what he thinks and often gets in trouble for it. He is trying to become more like the average human, but is having a tough time of it. He doesn't like to show emotion, having been raised by his father to bottle it up. Occasionally, his feelings become too much to handle. This typically causes a bad day for him as well as anyone else that he encounters.
Likes: Luke likes to exercise, and when he gets angry, instead of letting out his emotions, he strains himself physically. He also likes to swim and run, both of which he is very good at. He likes almost all animals, but not when they get too close.
Dislikes: He doesn't like disloyalty, and likes to think of himself as loyal, though it isn't always true. He doesn't like the cold, probably due to his obsessive love of fire. Other than that, there isn't much that Luke doesn't like... he tends to be an optimist and find the good in things.
Power: Once again, due to his seclusion, Luke doesn't know lots of magic. He had learn a small amount as a child from his mother, but his father hated magic in the house, so that didn't last long. Luke mostly only knows how to use fire, and can do that very well. He loves the feel of fire lapping at his skin but not burning it. He almost always is playing with it in some way.
History: Luke was born in a small town in Europe. He was raised well and worked hard. He lived on a farm, where he worked almost all of the time. He went to a very small school with everyone else from his town. He studied hard and did well.
His mother was a witch, but his father was a muggle and forbid his mother from ever using magic. However, Luke's father was a busy man and couldn't stay around to make sure his rules were followed. Almost every time that Luke's father left, his mother would teach him magic, even giving him a wand.
Luke hid the wand in his overalls, keeping it tight up against his body as he worked. It pressed against his leg with the weight of a secret. Every winter, Luke's father would go off to find work in order to make more money. Winter's were Luke's favorite time of year because he could use magic freely and not worry about being caught.
Luke had always had a passion for fire, loving the way it devoured anything in it's path. One day, as he was experimenting with it, a building caught fire. The fire destroyed the thatched roof, quickly catching the buildings around it. Soon the entire town was ablaze. His parents were both killed in the fire, and Luke has forever hated himself for it.
He ran away, hiding in a forest far away from his town. He stayed there in solitude mourning his parents and punishing himself for what he had done. Once he finally realized how silly he was being wasting his life away, Luke began to practice magic again. He only knew a few simple spells, but plenty about fire.
((Better?))
Do like Ginny says, I made up my own character and ended up making a fanfic all about my race. Therefore, the shapeshifting on this site was born... I never read Twilight when I made the race.
We can't have any more immortals. It's been proven that people take advantage of their immortal status and it creates no conflict about personal safety. Your character can live for an increasingly long time (For example, Xav's character is very old), but they cannot live forever.
And shapeshifters were always around, but Miss Xantier simply made them her own with her tweaks.
The bio is a little better, but to say he's been hiding is hard to think about. It can't be that he was entirely sequestered off from people, surely? That would be hard to do in such a modern world.
I like the history, perhaps the only problem I had with it was it was a little dry. Don't worry, your writing for that sort of thing will improve quickly.
It's a decent bio, so I suggest you go out and RP until you develop Luke a little more. Once you've made him almost real in your mind, try tweaking your bio. It helps, trust me.
Okay, I'll be sure to do that! Thanks for the tips.
So I'm not aloud to be an immortal? That's okay I guess... I still think I'm going to keep the general idea of my history though...
Yup, I'm sorry but immortality just makes it boring!
The history is good though, like I said. Just a little work, but you'll figure it out.
oh race is muggle born half bllod or the full bloods or you can be a muggle to twist!!
Okay Ginny! Thank you! I'll work on that and then post it when it's fixed!