Freedom.
That was the word that stuck out to Axel tonight. Those two syllables had so much meaning. He could finally live his life the way he wanted. He was done. He didn't even care about money or anything. He was just glad to be finished. But that word also left his future foggy.
The red head sat on large boulder that rested along the shore of the far side of the black lake. He had changed into jeans, but kept his white shirt, save the tie. He sat indian style, his hands hanging off his knees and his sky blue eyes staring into the water that glimmered with the light from the setting sun. There was a gentle, chilly breeze that blew against his skin and pushed his hair to the side. He didn't budge though.
Axel should have been back on the grounds, celebrating with everyone. He could hear music from where he was. But tonight was his and Avalee's night. And he didn't want to be back there among the people and noises. He wondered if she knew where to find him. He had sent her an owl with a note that said Meet me at the lake. But didn't leave a time and didn't say which part.
He raised his hand into the air and made a large flame in the shape of a star and shot it above him several feet as a signal.
Avalee crept barefoot through the woods, still in her formal dress from the earlier event. She was warm, and a soft blush colored her cheeks. The cool summer night breeze made her almost cold. The ground was soft and damp beneath her feet, which were still aching from the heels she had worn that morning. Her hair was a bit frizzy, but still well curled.
She couldn't believe it. She had graduated. She no longer attended the school. She was an adult. She was amazed, yet terrified. She had no plans. But at least the summer was free to be spent as she pleased. She had heard other students. Most of them were traveling over the break, or has summer intern jobs. Some already had jobs for the fall lined up. Avalee hadn't the faintest idea. But that's not what tonight was about.Tonight was about two people. Her and Axel. Not her classmates behind her, celebrating back on the main grounds. Tonight was her and Axel out by the lake. One night where time stood still and they could just be in love.
She saw a beautiful star shaped flame fly up, and she knew where to find him. She quickened her pace. Eager to see his face. Eager to be in his arms. She broke into the clearing, out from the trees, and saw the back of Axel's head.
"Hello, love" She said to him, smiling.
"Hello, love."
The words startled Axel, but a smile still managed to form on his face. He twisted himself around and waved.
"Hello there." He said softly. He motioned for her to sit beside him.
She smiled softly and walked over to him, walking almost too fast stumbling a bit with her lack of shoes. She sat next to him, instantly intwining her fingers with his. It felt so good just to hold his hand. She though of the Beatles song momentarily. It was nice just to have this, and sit with him. She looked at his face.
"How are you?" She asked quietly.
Axel shrugged.
"Oh, I'm alright I s'pose." He turned his head to kiss her cheek. "And how are you my darling? The flaming star above them had gone out as another light gust of wind blew. Axel sighed. "It's windy out here."
"Alright" She replied. "It is, but it's cool out, which is nice. I had to walk throught the party to get here, and it was crowded, and hot. Here it's, just so...peaceful. I like it." she said softly. His kiss felt nice on her cheek. It melted her heart.
She leaned on him gently. "We are free. Aren't we?" she asked, the sound of epiphany on her voice. She looked up into his eyes.
Axel nodded.
"Yeah...free. I guess we are." He stared up at the darkening sky and squeezed her hand. "What's going to happen to us?" He asked.
"I don't know. I don't want to be away from you." She stated in an earnest voice. She really didn't she hadn't felt this happy in years. She didn't want to be alone, without him, ever again. At least for the summer. This was supossed to be a joyus occasion, and she was sad, she already felt an ache of him not being there, scared.
Axel cleared his throat and turned to face Avalee.
"Sweetheart...," never did Axel ever imagine saying those words to someone, "you have so much going for you. And I live so far away. You're so intelligent, you could work for the Ministry. Or...or St. Mungo's. Me, I've got nothing. I don't have the intelligence to hold a decent job here. I have nothing to offer you." He started to play with the ends of her hair, so focused on each strand that ran through his fingers.
She watched him play with her hair, as she tried to process what he had just said. Here eyebrows pushed together, and she started breathing harder.
"Axel you are amazing, I love you. You love me. Your brilliant, and funny, and you treat me right. I love you. You are so much more than you think." Avalee paused as something clicked.
"Axel...are you trying to break up with me?" She asked devistated and worried. She had been dumped many times in her life, and many of them sounded like this.
Axel started to speak but no words came out. He dropped his hand and turned back to face the lake, taking a deep, long breath of the fishy air.
"I-I don't know what I'm doing right now, Avalee. I honestly have no idea. I want you to be happy and I just have nothing to offer you. I'm not good enough for you. I have so much growing up to do."
She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out for a moment. She took a deep breath. Anxiety bubbled up on her stomach, and tears collected in her eyes. They didn't spill over, yet. She sat up straighter. They hadn't gotten the timing right. If they had fallen in love merely a year ago they could be together and sure of themselves. But now...
"So do I, Axel. The best job I have lined up is being a stupid herbology intern, sure I'm a ravenclaw, but I'm not the best. You are amazing. Don't..." she said, and stood up, catching fresh air.
Axel went to grab her hand, to keep her from leaving him alone on the rock, but he reached a second too late. He lowered his head, staring at his legs and hands.
"Don't what, Avalee?"
"Don't do this. Don't leave me. Don't make me be alone again. Don't make yourself be alone again..." She said this in an almost begging tone but just trailed off. She remembered just weeks ago when they had seen eachother that early morning in Hogsmead, and it was so easy. She could just kiss him and everything was okay. He could just hold hold her in his arms. It was cold now, and Axel's body was always so warm.
She thought to herself What have I screwed up this time? Because she knew it was her fault.
Axel closed his eyes. The words she spoke were like blades slowly piercing into his skin, and pulled out only to be stabbed again and again.
Don't make yourself be alone again...
Those words struck him the hardest. And they made him sad, but also a little angry.
"I don't care about being alone." He said. "I've pretty much been like that nine years of my life. I'm used to it by now." His voice had an edge to it, something he would come to regret tonight and lay in bed, sleepless, wanting to apologize. But right now, he was so distracted by everything going on.
She took a step back. Surprised at his anger. The anxiety exploded inside of her. Her heart was breaking inside her chest. How many times had he said how it was nice to not be alone. She opened her mouth to talk, but nothing came out. She felt like throwing up and crying at the same time. But, I love him. She thought, and she wouldn't stop, no matter what happened.
"I'm sorry" She said in a begging tone, still.
"I love you" She whispered under her breath, so quiet he might not have even heard her.
Axel slid off of the rock and stared at her, brows furrowed.
"Why are you sorry? Gosh Avalee, I love you too. I really honestly do. But come on." Axel inhaled and exhaled very slowly, stepping toward her.
"I'm sorry." He said softly. "I...get worked up and get ahead of myself." He had anger problems and was usually good about them. But tonight just wasn't a good night. He felt like fire was ready to shoot out of his hands. Sure enough, when he looked at his palms, there was a little bit of smoke rising out of them.
She took a step toward him, looking at him plams, wide eyed. She wanted to grab his and and feel the warmth, the heat. She desperately wanted to hug him and kiss him with everything she had in her. But she was paralyzed, in fear. She stood there looking longingly at him. She thought of the dinner they shared so long ago, when Axel asked her to be his girl friend. She was happy back then.
He had treated her better than any boyfiend ever. Axel was amazing. But she just stood there in scilence. Too stunned to speak. This couldn't be happening.
"Avalee...."
Why was she looking at him like that? Why were her eyes so wide? Her beautiful eyes. He pressed his teeth together and clinched his fingers into fists to stop the smoke.
That was it. Fear. He could feel it radiating off of her. He had scared her, and that look was all too familiar. She had looked at him like so many had done in the past. Like he was a monster.
"You're afraid...." His words drifted, the last syllable barely audible. He stepped back, then another step, before turning around and kicking the nearest rock into the water. "d**n!" He growled, angry at himself.
He was outradged. What had she done? She wasn't afraid of him, like he thought she was. At this point she just let go. She ran towards him. Tears almost brimming over.
"I'm only afraid of losing you! You are the only good thing I have in my life." She ran in front of him and made him look her in the eyes, so he could see the truth that lay within them. Her eyebrows pushed togther and goosebumps rose on her flesh. The wind was strong.
Axel stared into her eyes and felt his body relax. All of the previous tension loosened up in his muscles. He took her hand carefully, his hand unusual hot, and pressed his hand flat against hers. Of course, his hand was bigger and his fingers stretched just a little further than her's did.
"I'm sorry." He said sincerly, his eyes proved that. "I'm so frustrated."
His hand was very hot against Avalee's. Almost too not, but not quite. She looked into his eyes, looking up. She was confused, and decided just to ask.
"With me?" She asked. She needed to listen to his thoughts, not just hers. In that moment her head was just screaming don't leave me!!! But that was selfish, now she needed to listen to him.
Axel shook his head.
"No, no, no. I'm frustrated with me. With graduation. With life. I'm just frustrated in general. I'm not angry with you or upset with you or anything. I'm just asking you to forgive me for that moment. I...get angry easily. A lot of fire elementalists do. I'm also frustrated because I'm scared." His fingers laced between hers. "I just don't want us to end. And I want what is best for you. Because you deserve better than me."
"We all get angry, just don't leave me. Because you are the best thing for me. I really don't want us to end." She was honest with him and grabbed his other hand, looking him in the eyes.
It was already dark, with a hint of light left in the sky a long distance away, towards the mountains. It was a nice view. And Axel could hear the crickets and frogs making their calls.
Without a word, Axel pulled Avalee into an embrace and kissed the top of her head.
It felt so great in his arms. She just stood there, still confused about what had just transpired. She loved him, more than anyone else in the world. And she wanted him to know. She put her ear to his chest and heard his heard beating.
"If you need a home, I can at least give you that." Axel whispered into her ear.
((WOO. I'm getting tired again.))
Avalee pulled back for a moment looking at him. Feeling too pushy.
"Am I forcing you to be with me, or do you want to?
(Lol, sorry!)
"I want to be with you." Axel said slowly. "I just don't know how it will work. We need to figure it out."
Avalee pulled back for a moment to look at him. She streched up, to kiss him, he was so much taller than her. She pressed her lips to his. He was still extremely hot, but she loved him, and would do anything to keep him.