Harry Potter Fan

Hello! I just read your storeies. I must say, I am so inspired. That's why I made this story. I call it "A JOURNAY OF A MOTHER AND DAUGHTER". PLEASE READ THIS AND MAKE ANY COMMENT. ANYTHING AT ALL!

"Good morning, sunshine!" said a woman about 33 yrs. "It's only 4 o'clock, mom." said a girl in pony-designed pajamas. "Yes, yes, it is. And school is on 6 o'clock. Hurry up!" the woman insisted walking out of the door. "I don't like it here. It's so sunny, it doesn't snow and school is too earyl! I wish I'm back at New York. I mean, it's cool there as in cold and good. I hate it here!" said the girl as she brushed her teeth. "There is no use in complaining, Elice! We will stay here and I know that you will like it." the woman/her mom said. "Why did you divorce dad, anyway? I know he tries his best for us.......and why can't I be with Jason? He always gets the good stuff. Up there in New York while I'm here in Asia. 'Oooh..I'm Jason the little peski brother of Elice who always gets the goodies.' I'm sick and tierd of it!"said Elice as she went to her mother. "We have talked about this, already, Elice. Why do I need to keep explaining? If there's another thing I hate about you people, you never listen!!!!!!!" her mom said, furiously. Elice went to her room and locked the door, crying.

Okay, guys! Please tell something about it. Anything at all. Do you think it's toO NOT FICTION? Is it too MUGGLE-like?  :o :o :o
Please tell me. Anyway here I have more........ :Reading:

"I am not going to school! I hate you! I'm a spoiled little bratt for you, is it? Well your the worst mother a child could ever get!" Elice's mom kept knocking on the door and scolding Elice and insiting her to open it. "Elice! You will go to school. This is not America, we pay for schools, here! You open this door or else!" her mother shouted. "Or else what, mom? Or else what? Or else you'll ground me, punish me? Well that's better, grounded from school, punished and slapped. There's no 911 here anyway. It's a prisoner country." Elice opened the door, got dressed and went down, so fast she didn't even say good-by or sorry to her mom.  

Soooooo? Do you think it's too sad? Emotional? Does it belong here? to have alot of readers? Please tell me. Is it too short? What!!!!!!!!! I hope I won't embarass myself. What if no one will read it!  :-[ What if anybody will get angry about it?  >:( What if it sux?   :-X Do you like it?  :-* Do you hate it?  :P Please tell me.  ??? ??? I will shut-up if you will!  ;) Is it too dramatic?  :-\
How do you feel about it?  :) ;) :D ;D >:( :o 8) ??? ::) :P :-[ :-X :-\ :-* :'( :bigcry: :goss: :voldy: :thumbsup: :thumbsdown: :stars:

  Chapter Two: New
Elice walked to school even if it was quite too far. She murmured things to herself but knew she didn't mean it, at all. She cried through the way untill she met this girl. "Why are you crying? Is anything wrong?" said a girl in a blue-checkereds uniform. "It's--it's the country." said Elice. "Wow! Is your mom a lawyer?" asked the girl. "No........(*giggles*)........no." Elice answred. "Well, what is it?" the girl held Elice's hand and walked their way. "It's my mom. We lived in New York untill she divorced my dad." Elice explained. "Whoa! I cry when my parents fight, what more if they divorce?" the girl said. "We had a fight this morning, and----and do you know where 'St. Martin de Porres School' is?" asked Elice as the girl laughed. "Ya! That's where I go. We will be such great friends. I'm Carly Beth Anne Theresa Mae C.Carlos. I have a very long name for an average girl."she said. "I'm Elice Green." They walked and chated all the way to school. "Here it is. The great, 'St. Martin de Porres School' of Quezon City. Some teachers here are either 'The Evil Teacher' or 'The Angelic, Nice and Cool Teacher." Said Carly.

oh my god! no one is reading my story? or is there........please reply!!!!!!

"When does school start, here?" Elice questioned. "June." Carly answered. "No wonder, Imean in NY, it starts at September. I had June to August on vaca., for you." Elice boasted. "Coooooool. I hope I was the same as you, without the parents thing, of course." Carly said as another girl went to them. "Are you the new girl? The Yankee?.?.?."said the girl. "Yes."Elice answered. "Elice don't talk to her, she's a witch. I mean she's like the 'FEELING POPULAR , NO DEMOCRACY GIRL'. She treats people like garbage." Carly whispered to Elice. "Don't trust that sneaky snake. She's just jelouse 'cause I'm glamorouse and she's not. She probably lives on a carton box." said the girl. "By the way, I'm Charmaine. Lovely, baeutiful and friendly. I'm always the star on programs and plays. I'm sure you'd rather stick with me than that snake. So?" she added. "I think I'd rather stick with Carly, plain and simple. She doesn't boast too much, unlike you. Bye!" Elice said, waving. "UH! You are so on my unpopular list of people, I hate. I'll tell that to everybody." said Charmaine as she went away. "Don't worry, everybody is just one person. It's Carmela (everybody), Her trusty worthyful sidekick. Carmela thinks she's like Charmaine. I mean I must insist, Charmaine is really good-looking. But, Carmela---------I think not." Carly said. "Oh." Elice said. At school, that day, Elice met new friends like, Lynn, Laury and Nikki.

no one's reading it? oh, too bad! just reply if you want more! :'(

OKAY.........BOARD TO DEATH, JUST NEED TO POST THIS:


Chapter Three: Huh?
After school at Elice's house, "Mom?..........." Elice said. "...........Mom are you here?" Elice's mother appeared from the kitchen's door. "Yes honey?" Mrs. Green's eyes were red, from crying. "Mother I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean all those things I said this morning."Elice ran to embrace her mother. "No it's not that Elice, I understand that. You--, you're accepted at Oxcinese." Mrs. Green said. "Huh? Oxcinese, but I'm already at 'St. Martin de Porres School'. How is that?" Elice stared at her mother. "Look Elice, I haven't really been honest with you all these years. See you are a, witch." Mrs. Green explained. "Hahahaha! Nice one mom. Oxcinese as Oxford and Hogwarts as Harvard." said Elice but, Mrs. Green grinned at her, seriously. "You don't mean that it is true, right?" asked Elice as her mother nodded. "Oh my God!" Elice fainted. After a while, "Dear, dear?"Mrs. Green woke-up Elice. "Mother is it true that I'm going to Oxcinese? Is it true that I am a witch, not a muggle?"Elice asked. "Yes and no. You are going to Oxcinese but, muggle is not a word for nonmagic persons, it's Orderies." Mrs. Green said. "Muggles are only the one used by J.K. Rowling in Harry Potter, but truly Orderies is the word. J.K. is the chosen one to write the world of magic but in a very different manner. Not all in the book is true." she continued. "Only one spell and I mean one spell is true in the Harry Potter series but the events are quite, what's that word, connencted to the real world of magic." Elice was amazed in what her mother had said. Very amzed. "Now Elice, I must give you this letter that invites you to Oxcinese, you must read it, especially the one below, it is very important." said Mrs. Green as she went out the door. "Whoa! All these years, I've been living a lie, a sweet lie. Why haven't my mother told me about this before? Oh, no matter of that now. This si so exciting!" Elice read and read the letter accepting her to Oxcinese untill she memorized it. "Dear Elice Green, We would like to inform you that you have been accepted at Oxcinese, the best school in Asia, for Wizards, Witches and those with power. Sincerly yours, Oxcinese.Here now are the rules of Oxcinese.............." Elice said with excitement.

Chapter Four: Orderie School's Out!
The next day, "Where are you going, Elice?" Mrs. Green asked. "To my school, where else?"Elice answered. "No you won't." Mrs. Green said. "Why? I still have my Orderie life, don't I?" Elice said, in return. "Of course you do, but that's for your 'Astral-drop' or clone, to deal with." Mrs. Green said. "But, does she know me?" Elice asked as Mrs. Green laughed. "She will be just like you, she will do whatever you will usually do, say, what so ever." Mrs. Green said. "Cool. And I will be in the magical world!" Elice said. "Not all the time, you'll be here at summer times and the Holidays with me. Just the real you and me."Mrs. Green explained. "While I'm in the magical world, you'll still have company too. Nice idea." Elice said. "Come on, now. Come here just right in front of me. Okay, 'asssssandrio-exion'."Mrs. Green said and a girl just like Elice came from thin air. "Hi Elice2!" Elice said. "Hi Elice1! Nice to meet you. I better go to school. By mom!"Elice2 said. "Mom? Why didn't you use a wand?" Elice asked. "Most of the spells need wands but, this one doesn't." Mrs. Green explained. "And I thought one spell and only one spell is true." Elice joked. "So, I forgot the wand-thingy. Big deal!" Mrs. Green said, embarassed. "Hahahaha! I got mom, I got mom." Elice teased. "Okay now, get your letter and let's go to the so you call 'Magical World'." Mrs. Green said and they went to the car.

 :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(NOBODY'S READING! :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
:-X :-X :-X :-X :-XDOES IT REALLY SUCK? :-X :-X :-X

 :'( Hmmmmmmmmm....  :'(

It's good! I've just never seen it before. Is it an all muggle story?

Potterfan17, you saved my life!
Here's more and they're all for you.  :-*

How did he save you.

Quote from: AndySkater on August 18, 2003, 01:42:08 AM
How did he save you.

I was like giving-up on my story and he just came and said it was good...

Chapter Five: Fair Council Boulivard (FCBoulivard)
"Where are we going, mom?" Elice asked. "Well, here we are." Mrs. Green answered. "A bar?............a nasty old bar?" Elice said, surprised. Mrs. Green got to the door and there they saw women with short hair and men with long hair. "Mom?" Elice asked. "Yes, dear?" Mrs. Green said. "Are you sure we're at the right place? People are creepy here." Elice whispered to her mom's left ear. "Don't worry Elice. These are only illusions, they're not real. They're used to scare off Orderies." Mrs. Green explained, as she got a big, rusty, old key from her pocket. They went to the bar-table and went to this big, rusty, old chair which had a key hole. Mrs. Green inserted the big, rusty, old key to the big, rusty, old chair. "Oh my!" Elice said in amazement, as she saw both the key and chair turned gold! Mrs. Green reached for a quite long stick, colored blue (wand) and said, "Itrrusprotanus y gerfa!" The golden chair turned to a big golden door to the 'magical world'. "Welcome to the Fair Council. No Orderies allowed, please." read Mrs. Green a note from the door and then, opened it (the door). There inside were tiny flying faries to fairies with long gowns and tiaras, small gnome-like elves to human-like elves and alot of other fantasy creatures. "This is the 'Magical World'?" Elice asked. "Yes and no, again. Yes it is the ,so you call, 'Magical World'. And no 'cause it's called the 'Fair Council', not the "Magical World'." Mrs. Green explained. "What are we going to do first?" Elice asked. "First, we go to the Fair Council Bank or FCB. There we get FCB money or Fairy Cash or Bucks. Second, we go to the Fair Council Book Buys or FCB4. There, we buy what you need for Oxcinese. Third, we go to Fair Council Beefs and other treats or FCB3. Fourth, at last, we go to the Fair Council Books or FCB2." Mrs. Green said, as she and Elice walked there way to the Fair Council Bank (FCB). "It is very big here, at the 'Fair Council'." Elice commented. "Fair Council Boulivard. The Fair Council is all around the world and, in Asia, it's called the Fair Council Boulivard or, FCB." Mrs. Green explained. Elice, then, saw a big door infront of her. It was the FCBank door. "It's, HUGE." Elice said. "How do you think Giants will fit in a human-saized door?" Mrs. Green said as she and Elice opened the smaller door, beside it. Inside were alot of Giants. ALOT! 'Thumb, thumb, thumb.' Giants' footsteps were making a big shake, almost like an earthquake. "Why..?..." Elice said but before she can even finish, "FCBank needs Giants to keep the place organized. You see, Giants are really nice, gentle creatures. Not all, maybe but, the volts are up there, way, way, up there. So, well, Giants can reach them." Mrs. Green explained. "Duh!" Elice said.

it's sooooooo cool!
put more.

I'm goin' to have my final exams, next week, and I won't be able to post more, here. I'm goin' to review to pass 'em and go try to go to a BIG highschool. I hope I would pass the Phillipine Scienece High School or at leat the Quezon City Science High School. (Quezon City is a city in the Phillipine's capital.)

Good Luckeroo! ;D

Chapter Six:FCBank
Mrs. Green held Elice's hand and went to a Fairy. "Hello, Kassy! Nice to see you again." said Mrs. Green as the tiny, flying fairy looked at her. "Oh my Diata! Is it really you, Eilleen?" the fairy/Kassy, said. "Yes it is!"Mrs. Green said. "Oh, is that your daughter? She looks very much like you. And look, she's a new kid from the block,too. So is my little, Carly." Kassy said. "Ca-carly?" asked Elice to Mrs. Kassy. "Yes, Carly. Carly Beth Anne Theresa Mae......." Mrs. Carly said but, "C. Carlos?" Elice inturupted. "Yes, that's her Orderie father's last name." Mrs. Kassy said, surprised. "Do you know her?" she, added. "She's my Orderie schoolmate." Elice explained. "Well then, you'll be great friends like I and Kassy." Mrs. Green said as Mrs. Kassy waved good-by, and the two, parted. "Oh, too bad, I didn't see Carly." Elice said to her mother. "Carly probably isn't with Kassy, now. Let's just try to bump into them, later." Mrs. Green said while they went to the teribbly small for his size, Giant. "Hello, I'm Molly, and welcome to FCBank. How may I help you?" she (the Giant) said. "We would like to withdraw 6,000 FCB money." said Mrs. Green. "May I please see your wand?" said Molly, the giant. Mrs. Green then gave her blue wand and Molly put it in a rock-carved, cave-like, small box. The box lit-up a green beam of light and several pieces of coin-shaped fine glass appeared, in a small transparent bag, near the box. "Thank you ma'm, please come again." said Molly, smiling. After a while, still in FCBank, "What are the Giants and volts way up there for if it just appears?" Elice asked. "If you're going to deposit, it's going to take an Orderie day, for that. Now, no more questions. We have shopping to do." Mrs. Green said.

 :)  good

THANKS!
2 all dos hu read the story.
Is it really, well, good? 'Coz I'm really starting to think it's corny. Ac2ally it is corny isn't it?

Thanks for your either good or bad comments 'bout it!

No, I must dissagree.  No work of literature is ever corny.  Everything is worth writing down to share with others.  I believe your staory is indeed good.  It is raw and that is a good thing as well.