A weird,strange,confusing story:Special edited,fixed,chopped&tightened edition

[ronweazley122]

This is a special edition of A story I wrote a while back.mostly because its all edited and put together.To my readers:Thankyou. To new readers:Enjoy.

"My Spidey Sense is tingling!" whispered Spiderman. He could see Green Goblin making some pumpkin bombs for his next heist...........
   The Goblin sat on the toilet. Spidey heard a loud explosion in the bathroom. "Sounds like Paris Hilton is wiping Goblin's......well...you know......"
   "That's Hot." said Paris.
Spidey pimp slapped Goblin until he ran away crying. Then Hermione came.    "Why am I here?" asked Hermione.
   "Some kids are writing a stupid story." explained Neville.
   "Where the hell did you come from!?!" yelled Spidey.
   "Doesn't matter," said Ron
   "Arrrrggghhh!!!! d**n you J.K. Rowling!!!!" screamed Spidey
   "I gotta catch them all!!!" yelled Ash Ketchum
   "WHAT THE F#$%!?!?!" screamed everyone
          "Wow, not even I would cuss in a pg-13 movie! You must be really evil!" Said Voldemort.
   "Ok, this was supposed to be a story about me." mumbled Spidey.
Green goblin ran back. "Oh, shut up spider," The goblin said, grabbing a drink. "You're always ruining everyone's fun...especially that one time you killed me."
   "Has anyone seen my Pikachu?"
Everyone slowly turned their heads over to Ash.
   "Is that, like, a pet name for your girlfriend?" asked Paris.
Everyone turned their heads at Paris, with a stupid look on their face.
"What? I was just curious to know if he was single!" said Paris.
   "Aren't you engaged?" Hermione asked Paris.
   ".............." said Paris.
   "I'm not kidding! My Pikachu is missing!"
Everybody brutally slaughtered Ash.
   "Guys! That wasn't very nice....." Hermione whimpered.
"Shut up, girl, or you'll be next!!! And we'll look up a worse word than "brutally" this time...." sneered Voldemort.
   "........I don't get it. Everybody from Harry Potter is here but....Harry Potter!" said Spidey.
   "Yeah....I kinda lost him.....I should find him before the end of the series....."said J.K. Rowling.
   "This is bulls#^&!!! I got ripped off! MARVEL called me to do a shooting, and all of these Harry Potter people just come out of nowhere!!!" yelled Spidey.
"Hey, its not just Harry potter characters!" said  Batman.
"This is getting real old, real fast" sighed Spidey.
"I AM THE KNIGHT!I AM VENGENCE!I AM WELL PAYED!"said batman.
"I have no idea what any of that means." whispered Ron.
"Doesn't matter.You're not getting payed anything,But I am payed millions!"Said batman,and he flew away.
"How can he fly? i thought he had a glider?" said Hermione
"I Can to-"batman looked down."OH CRAP!I CANT FLY!"Batman plunged to his doom."uh........sorry." said Hermione.
"....and I want my mask to go to cat woman..and I want my armor to go to paris hilton...and I want my money to go to that girl I had a one night stand with.."said batman,dictating to his man servant."and i also want my underwear to go to Hermione" whispered Batman to his manservant.  "I heard that!" yelled Hermione"Hey,I don't want your armor,I like want your underwear!"said paris hilton."Why aren't you dead yet?!"Yelled harry and ron together,and they stabbed batman."Ron, Harry, that wasn't very nice...." said Hermione"We didn't do it.You can't prove anything."said ron,walking away,and washing his hands."we're book characters and he's a superhero who wears gloves.We leave no finger prints."Hermione started to make out with Harry for no apparent reason.(Hermione and ron shippers note:My cousin wrote this part)Ron,who was convienently looking away did not notice."hey...OOO!WHATS THAT!ITS SHINY!"he said,pointing toward the horizon.There was a boom in the air,like some sort of rap song..."EVERY BREATH I TAKE!".....just then..P.diddy entered,decked out in jewels.The music stopped.Kelly Clarkson appeared on the scene.She started singing "Since You've Been Gone" "Hey...where'd she come from she's not a wizard,like you guys,is she?"said ash,who had returned as a zombie.Kelly abruptly stopped singing."NO!I just have special effect abilitys and lots of money,"said kelly.
Hermione then poked her eye out with her wand
Ron jumped out a window,sad that Hermione had become violent.Harry laughed at the fools.
Spidey sighed."WHY WON'T YOU PEOPLE LEAVE ME TO SHOOT MY MOVIE IN PEACE!"
Green Goblin muttered "Because, Spidey, some kids are bored. they have nothing else better to do than write a parody story about fictional charactors."
Paris sighed."man..I,like,think I gained a pound.I'll be in the bathroom throwing...I mean, putting makeup on."she then went to the restroom."To bad about Ron."said harry."what?! YOU MEAN HE'S DEAD?NOOO!!"screamed Hermione.
Neville fell on his knees . "NO! WHY DOES RON HAVE TO DIE OR BE TAKEN AWAY IN EVERY STORY! WHY, GOD, WHY!?!"
Ron entered the room."Why is every one screaming?"he said."I was busy.I sent my stunt double to be in this part of the story."
Hermione said, "oh.... so that's why he had tons of acne and breasts....."
"d**n.I THOUGHT I told the director not to hire her,just to get Frankie Muniz. oh well, At least I got the trailer and some Ho's."
"HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT DERROGETORY TERM!"said Hillary Clinton."I CANT BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT!"she looked outraged."I'M GETTING THIS BOOK AN "AO" RATING!"she screamed."NOOOOO!!!"Screamed spidey,rockstar games,harry,scholastic,Warner brothers,And j.k. rowling.Hermione muttered, "d**n, now i cant get ant "hot coffee."
"HERMIONE! YOUR'RE DOOMED!"screamed spidey,punching her."AGH!"she screamed running away."why'd you do that?"asked Paris Hilton,who looked like she had oatmeal around her mouth."I'm getting rid of extra characters one at a time until the people who are writing this story are finished"
Voldemort laughed."You'll never kill me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"he yelped."Oh please,your one of the most two-dimensional characters I've ever met.This guy..."he said,gesturing toward goblin."Is more deep then you" Gobling smiled."That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me!"he said,hugging spiderman."AGH!getaway!don't get used to it!"yelled spidey.
Goblin giggled. "you can ride my Glider anytime you want. and here are the keys to my apartment."
"LOOK.JUST BECAUSE I WEAR TIGHTS,DOESN'T MEAN I'M GAY!"he said,punching goblet."ANYWAY,IF I WAS GAY,YOU'RE NOT MY TYPE!"he yelled."Oh,I'll be using your glider fo' muh' date tomorrow with Mary Jane."
"Don't scratch it." said The Gay Goblin.
Paris sighed."I can't stand not being a filthy bed-hopping girl anymore.I'm going to divorce the man I'm marrying,Paris."she said.harry stared."are you talking to yourself?"he said,confused."No,thats his name,"she stated."Your marrying yourself?"he said,stupidly."no,I'm marrying paris."she stated,bored."so you've decided not to marry you?"
said harry."NO.I'm not marrying paris, a bleach blonde-flat chested person with a fake tan."
"so...then.."harry twitched and exploded
"I thought you were engaged? you are going to divorce...... WHOEVER....... before you marry.....WHOEVER!?" said Hermione.
"........................" Said Paris.
"What are you doing back,"yelled spidey."AH KEEEL YOU!"he screamed,jumping on hermione."HAI-YAH!"Hermione stumbled in confusion.
"another question dodged by a random attack from above."said paris,sneaking away,avoiding answering valid questions again.
Hermione then threw Paris out a local window. "Now all of our problems are solved!" she said gleefully.
"not quite," said spidey,brandishing a pillow."you see...I'm the star of this story,and anyone in my way must die!"he screamed."a pillow.Your going...to...kill...us..with..a pillow?"ron said,sarcasticly."A pillow?!"
"you know nothing of the soft properties of pillows!"said spidey.
Spidey then pulled a gun out of the pillow and shot everyone.Harry came out of know where."Hey,why are you shooting everyone,spidey?"he said.
Spidey realised he was alone.NO ONE was left.How the h*** was he supposed to make a movie with no one?"Ehh...whats Up doc?"said bugs bunny."Of course you know,This means war!!"said spidey,brandishing his gun. "Try and catch me,doc."said bugs,tunneling a hole.Only the reader's imagination can guess what happened next...sequel?Probably not.But,this is the end.


THE END...FINALLY

[mamabiscuit]

That is the odest wildest definately wierdest thing i have probably ever read And it was definately entertaining and hilarious  ;D