please add Dumb Blonde Jokes
ok tay i can do that!!!!
there where 2 blondes driving in a car and they drove past a feild that had a blonde in a boat trying to row around the driver blonde sed to the other blonde *yu know its blondes like that that give us a bad name....* and the other blonde says *i know what you mean, if i had a boat rght now i'd row out there and get her myself!!
(no affence to all u blondes out there... im blonde 2!!)
hey that is toat awesome heres anoth. 1
dere was a blonde a brunett and a red head the red head sed lets c hoo can swim out to that island first ok they sed so first arrived the red head then 5 min later came the brunett then an hour later the blonde arrived where wer u the other 2 asked HEY sed da blonde NO FAIR you used your arms!
Then theres another one thats not a dumb blonde but its funny!
OK
3 guys walked into a bar 1 ducked
(c if u can figure it out)
ok heres another1
there was a blonde a brunnette and a red headand the were walking threw the forest and since the had been walking 4 days they were really hungry, then they came upon uncle bobs farm and uncle bob has a rule where if you eat ANY of his corn he'll chase u, they didnt know this, so they each ate an ear oof corn and then they heard uncle bob say *im comin for ya!!!* and so they ran ibto the barn and they each jumped into a potato sack, then he came in and sed *i know where you are!!* and he kicked the first potato sack(the red head was in this one) and she sed*meow moew* and uncle bob replied *stupib barn cat!* then he kicked the second on e w/ the brunnette and she sed *woof woof**stupid barn dog* then he kicked the last one with the blonde in it and she sed *POOOOTTTTAAAATTTTOOOO!!!!!!!*
hahahaha i love that one!!!
haha.....
is there any blondes here?
LMFAO POTATTOO, thats too jkz. Heres another 1: Theres a red head a brunette and a blonde and theres a magic mirror on the wall. If you tell the truth to the mirror you get a pot of gold but if you lie it sucks you in. The red head goes first, she says to the mirror "I think im the prettiest girl in the world" the mirror sucks her in. The brunnete goes next and says "I think im the smartest girl in the world" she gets sucked in. The blondes goes and says "I think- the mirror sucks her in.
LOL ;D
haha i love that one!!!
a blonde brunnette and a red head were all at the edge of a cliff with a genie and the genie sed *jump off this cliff and yell something and then you willl land in that thing* the brunnette went first and she yelled *MEN!!* and so she landed in a big pile of men then the red head went and yelled *money!!* then the blonde slipped and fell and yelled *CRAP!*
hahahahahalmfao lmfao lmao i haven't heard that one for a while, tooooo jkz. Heres another a few quick ones
How do you confuse a Blonde?: Tell her to sit at the corner of a round room
How do you kill a blonde?: Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a lake
Theres a smart blonde, a dumb blonde, Santa Claus, and the tooth fairy and theres a $20 bill on the ground, who picks it up?: The dumb blonde ofcourse, santa claus, the tooth fairy and smart blondes dont exist!!
Here's another good one:A blonde woman is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds."
When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.
"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said. "Did you follow my instructions?"
The blonde nodded. "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."
"From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.
"No, from skipping."-------LOL- oh and by the way its all for fun, blondes are hot ;) ;D ;D ;)
oh well......thank you!!! lol!!
haha this one isnt dumb blonde but it funny
Did you hear about the dead man they found face down in a bath tub...he had corn flakes, bananas, and blueberries all over him....they suspect a cereal killer.
lol
i have an endless supply
Did you hear the one about the blonde who got stuck on a broken escalator for three hours
A blonde walks in to a Wal-Mart and says "I'd like to buy this T.V." The man at the front desk says, "sorry we don't sell to blondes." So the blonde went home, dyed her hair brown, and came back and said again, "I'd like to buy this T.V." Then the man at the front desk said, "sorry, we don't sell to blondes." Then the blonde says, "how did you know?"
The man replied, "that there's a microwave!"
A blonde and her husband are at the animal shelter trying to find a new pet. The hubby says, Look at that dog with one eye! She shuts one eye and says Which one?
lmao thats good i dont have that many blonde jks but im full of yo mamma jkz lol
what does lmao mean?????
Did you hear about the 2 blonds that were found frozen to death at the drive-in movie lot? They went to see "Closed for the Season.
lol thats a good one. lmao means laugh my @$$ off
A blonde walked up to the counter and said to the man "I'd like a cheeseburger, french fries, and a coke." The man behind the counter said, "I'm sorry madam but, this is a library." The blonde replied in a low whisper, "I'll have a cheeseburger, french fries, and a coke."
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"The agent replies, "Just a minute.." "Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
Three brunettes and one blonde are captured in the jungle by natives. The leader says "I am going to tell you 100 jokes and if you laugh at any of them, then i will kill you." So he tells the first joke, and the three brunettes start to laugh. He kills them. He gets to the 50th joke and the blonde still hasn't laughed. He finally get to the 99th joke and she still didnt laugh yet. He tells the 100th joke and she laughs hysterically. The Native kills her and she goes up to heaven and the brunettes ask her "How did you last so long?" and the blonde says "I just got the first one."
lmao LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!hahahahah thats toooo funny, ur jkz
oh heres a funny joke its not blonde though, actually i dont remember it so good so it might be wierd lol
There are 3 men stranded on an island. The men try to find some water but they are captured by natives. The men are taken to the native leader. He says to them, i'll let you live if you do me 2 tasks. The men agree and the leader tells them all to go inside the forest and return with 5 of the same fruit. The first man returns with 5 oranges and asks the leader whats next. The leader tells him if you want to escape the island you must stick all of the oranges up ur @$$ without making a noise. The man sticks up 1 but dies of pressure. The second man returns with tiny bead cherries and the leader tells him the same thing. The cherries are so small they fit up easily, soon the man is down to the last cherry but bursts out laughing, the leader kills him. On the way to heaven the first guy asks the second guy "you were so close, why did you start laughing??" the second guys replies, "I saw the 3rd man walking in with pineapples!!"
lol
hahahaha thats funny!!!
A blonde female traffic cop stops a blonde for speeding "Can I see your licence?" The blonde rummages in her handbag. "I can't find it. What's it looks like?" "It's square and it's got your picture on it." The blonde finds her mirror and peers into it. "Ah, here it is." She gives it to the cop. She looks into it and says: "I didn't realise you were in the force, honey. You can go. Have a nice day."
haha lol that good!!
like i said i've got an endless supply
The blonde called 911 to report a fire: "Help!! Fire!! Get here as fast as you can!!" she shouted to the operator.
"Miss-you need to calm down-and tell me how to get to your house!"
The blonde heaves a sigh: "DUH! BIG...RED...TRUCK!!!"
On their honeymoon, the blonde bride slipped into a sexy nightie and,
with great anticipation, crawled into bed, only to find that her new
Catholic husband had settled down on the couch. When she asked him why
he was apparently not going to make love to her, he replied,"It's Lent."
In tears, she remarked,"Well, that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! Who did you lend
it to, and for how long?"
Quote from: LordBlaZe on August 5, 2007, 01:31:26 PM
oh heres a funny joke its not blonde though, actually i dont remember it so good so it might be wierd lol
There are 3 men stranded on an island. The men try to find some water but they are captured by natives. The men are taken to the native leader. He says to them, i'll let you live if you do me 2 tasks. The men agree and the leader tells them all to go inside the forest and return with 5 of the same fruit. The first man returns with 5 oranges and asks the leader whats next. The leader tells him if you want to escape the island you must stick all of the oranges up ur @$$ without making a noise. The man sticks up 1 but dies of pressure. The second man returns with tiny bead cherries and the leader tells him the same thing. The cherries are so small they fit up easily, soon the man is down to the last cherry but bursts out laughing, the leader kills him. On the way to heaven the first guy asks the second guy "you were so close, why did you start laughing??" the second guys replies, "I saw the 3rd man walking in with pineapples!!"
lol
this one made me laugh....LOL
Quote from: dobby888 on August 6, 2007, 02:01:34 AM
hahahaha thats funny!!!
A blonde female traffic cop stops a blonde for speeding "Can I see your licence?" The blonde rummages in her handbag. "I can't find it. What's it looks like?" "It's square and it's got your picture on it." The blonde finds her mirror and peers into it. "Ah, here it is." She gives it to the cop. She looks into it and says: "I didn't realise you were in the force, honey. You can go. Have a nice day."
this one was funny....really funny
Quote from: dobby888 on August 6, 2007, 03:17:45 AM
like i said i've got an endless supply
The blonde called 911 to report a fire: "Help!! Fire!! Get here as fast as you can!!" she shouted to the operator.
"Miss-you need to calm down-and tell me how to get to your house!"
The blonde heaves a sigh: "DUH! BIG...RED...TRUCK!!!"
me and friends loved this one....you guys definitely need to continue with these jokes
lmao i think i missed the fire truck 1 lol
LOL.....
alright you want me to continue?? then here we go!!!
A blonde is shopping and spots a silver thermos. She takes it up to the clerk and asks "what is this?"
The clerk replys "its a thermos, keeps hot foods hot and cold foods cold". So the blond decides she has to have it and buys it. The next day at work the boss comes by and sees the thermos on her desk. So, I see something new has been added, he says. The blonde says
"Its a thermos, keeps hot foods hot and cold foods cold."
"So what did you bring today?" asks the boss.
"Two popcycles and some coffee" replies the blonde.
hahahaha funny.....wait I have one.....
A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park.
The brunette says suddenly, "Oh, look at that dead bird."
The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"
i gots one
a blonde gets on the internet and checks her email it opens up and says "u got mail" so she walks outside and checks her mailbox and says "hey where's my mail?" ;D ;D ;D
((LOL.....I don't know why....but Jessie aren't you a blondie.....don't you feel offended by these jokes....if you do, we can stop.))
lol she said she likes them, but ill stop if she feels offended
((sorry but I have one that I totally need to put down.....))
Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well
over 90 mph. "Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel,
"Any cops following us?"
The blonde turned around and had a long look at the road
behind them.
"Yeah, looks like it"
"Are his flashers on?"
The blonde turned around again......
"Yup....nope....yup....nope....yup....nope....yup....."
lmfao...hahahahaha omfg lol thats too funny. Hahaha wow im gonna cherish that one for a while ;D ;D ;D ;D
Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.
First Blonde: "I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Second Blonde: "Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!"
A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,"You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."
Why can't you tell blondes knock-knock jokes? Because they go answer the door.
How did the dumb blonde break her leg raking leaves? She fell out of the tree.
Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car? She burned her lips on the tailpipe.
*-----okay that's all i've got... for now...these are funny but i do feel kinda bad so no offense to any blondes in here, my gf is a blonde so really i love blondes ;D -----*
Quote from: Roniloveyou:) on August 8, 2007, 04:58:07 PM
A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,"You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."
((LOL....OMG loved that one.... ;D ))
dont worry im a blonde and these are my favorite kind of jokes!!
A blonde was walking along one side of a canal. As she was walking, she noticed another blond walking on the other side of the canal. She hollered over"Excuse me, how can I get to the other side?" That blonde replied "Duh, you're already on the other side!"
A blonde puts a book on the librarian's desk, and says, "This book has no story and way too many characters." The librarian says, "So that's where the phone book went."
A blonde was at the doctor for a checkup, and the doctor said, "You're getting older, so I need to ask this: Have you ever been incontinent?"
The blonde said, "Yes. I've been to Europe twice."
ok thats all for now, but ill do some more tommorrow
omg these r soooooooo hysterical o heres one i hope i remember it. ok...
a blonde walks into a casino and starts to gamble she says i hope you dont mind but i like to gamble naked so she takes off all her clothes and rolls the dice. Woo hoo she says i won then she grabs all the money and takes the dice with her. Hey said a guy did u even see what the dice were? No said the oth guy i was 2 bizzy watching something else!!!
Quote from: Lola_La_Fringe7 on August 11, 2007, 11:10:30 AM
omg these r soooooooo hysterical o heres one i hope i remember it. ok...
a blonde walks into a casino and starts to gamble she says i hope you dont mind but i like to gamble naked so she takes off all her clothes and rolls the dice. Woo hoo she says i won then she grabs all the money and takes the dice with her. Hey said a guy did u even see what the dice were? No said the oth guy i was 2 bizzy watching something else!!!
lmao this is great haven't heard it before ;D
yeah heres the full version (same one more to it)
a hot blonde walks into a casino. she says i hpe you dont mind but im luckier naked!! so she tkes of all her clothes. ill bet 20,000$ she says and then rolls the dice. woohoo!!!!! she screams, she grabs the money, her clothes and leaves. then the 2 guys in charge of the game said to each other...... did u see what she rolled??* said one *no i thought u were watch*said the other *i thought YOU where watching!!!*
lol i love that one...............
A blond goes to the doctor . When the doctor asks her whats wrong, she says, "I hurt everywhere!" She pokes herself in the arm, 'Here," She pokes herself in the chest, "And here," and she pokes herself in the cheek, "And here!" The docotr looksat her for a moment and says, "You don't hurt everywhere. You broke your finger."
Quote from: Ginny Weasly on August 12, 2007, 05:19:03 AM
A blond goes to the doctor . When the doctor asks her whats wrong, she says, "I hurt everywhere!" She pokes herself in the arm, 'Here," She pokes herself in the chest, "And here," and she pokes herself in the cheek, "And here!" The docotr looksat her for a moment and says, "You don't hurt everywhere. You broke your finger."
lmfao that's too funny hahaah ;D ;D ;D
i don't know if anyone posted this one but...
a blonde girl comes up to a crosswalk guard person and tells him, "i'm sick and tired of everyone telling me that blondes are stupid so last night i stayed up the wwhole night memorizing the capitals of the US states.
crossguard - "okay, so what's the capitol (sp?) of Nevada?"
blonde girl thinks for a moment and then answers, "hm, n!
hahahaha i've never heard that one either...
yeah me either!!!
A man walks into a bar. Two blondes are at a table chanting, "6 months". Another blonde comes and joins the chant. Another and then another until a dozen blondes are chanting "6 months". Finally the man goes over and asks what the chanting is about. The first blond says, "We are a team solves jigsaw puzzles. Our last one took 6 months to finish." The man says, "That is impressive." The blonde replies, "I should say so, the box said 3 to 4 years."
Man those are great.
Quote from: dobby888 on August 15, 2007, 03:11:34 AM
yeah me either!!!
A man walks into a bar. Two blondes are at a table chanting, "6 months". Another blonde comes and joins the chant. Another and then another until a dozen blondes are chanting "6 months". Finally the man goes over and asks what the chanting is about. The first blond says, "We are a team solves jigsaw puzzles. Our last one took 6 months to finish." The man says, "That is impressive." The blonde replies, "I should say so, the box said 3 to 4 years."
OMG! lol never heard that one :) How many peices did it have? ;)
Quote from: dobby888 on August 15, 2007, 03:11:34 AM
yeah me either!!!
A man walks into a bar. Two blondes are at a table chanting, "6 months". Another blonde comes and joins the chant. Another and then another until a dozen blondes are chanting "6 months". Finally the man goes over and asks what the chanting is about. The first blond says, "We are a team solves jigsaw puzzles. Our last one took 6 months to finish." The man says, "That is impressive." The blonde replies, "I should say so, the box said 3 to 4 years."
i think this one just might be the best one posted so far!!! I literally fell backwards out of my chair (no fear my bed saved me ;D) omfg too funny ;D ;D ;D
heres one its not a dumb blonde but its funny
ok... theres a girl jumping on a sewer lid saying 6 6 6 6. A man sees her doing it and comes over to ask why shes doing that. Its fun she replies. Try it! ok says the guy. So he trys it. wow this is fun he says! so when hes still jumping the girl grabs the sewer cover and pulls it out from underneath him then she jumps again saying 7 7 7 7 !!!!!
Quote from: Roniloveyou:) on August 16, 2007, 11:38:34 AM
Quote from: dobby888 on August 15, 2007, 03:11:34 AM
yeah me either!!!
A man walks into a bar. Two blondes are at a table chanting, "6 months". Another blonde comes and joins the chant. Another and then another until a dozen blondes are chanting "6 months". Finally the man goes over and asks what the chanting is about. The first blond says, "We are a team solves jigsaw puzzles. Our last one took 6 months to finish." The man says, "That is impressive." The blonde replies, "I should say so, the box said 3 to 4 years."
i think this one just might be the best one posted so far!!! I literally fell backwards out of my chair (no fear my bed saved me ;D) omfg too funny ;D ;D ;D
Heck yah! I hurt my head when
i hit the floor... j/k :) I like how ur bed saved you. Fun stuff, fun stuff :D
lmao ;D yup my bed is my hero ;D gotta watch out for those dumb blonde jokes they can be dangerous... :P
lol :D
im so glad i started this
lol me 2 ;D
I wish my friend dobby888 would keep talking she has the best dumb blonde jokes in da world! (Is any1 offended cuz im not & im blonde)
;D yes dobby needs to post more lol ;D
but right now shes out of town and she was spossed to be back yesterday[move]
and i keep calling her house but no answer so im starting to get worried o and check my story i cant remember the exact topic name but it has a:
(PLZ READ!!!)[/move]
really hmm... hope she's ok ::)
dobby888 is hilarious! I love him/her (as Ginny or Kiara said) in a non sexual way ;D
2 Blonde's were going to a theme park but they saw a sign that said "Disney Park Left" so they turned around and went home.
((not blonde but funny))
A husband and wife had four boys. The odd part of it was that the older three had red hair, light skin, and were tall, while the youngest son had black hair, dark eyes, and was short.
The father eventually took ill and was lying on his deathbed when he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, before I die, be totally honest with me - is our youngest son my child?"
The wife replied, "I swear on everything that's holy that he is your son."
With that the husband passed away. The wife then muttered, "Thank God he didn't ask about the other three."
lol!!! very nice Blaze!!!!
ok im sorry i left, but I'm back now, and i appreciate your compliments, and btw im a girl.... and here are the jokes you've been waiting for......
The geometry teacher asked the blonde:"How many degrees in a circle?' The blonde replied:"This is a trick question! Did you want farenheit or celsius?"
(you'll like this one!!)A blonde goes to a ventriloquist show,and the guy tells a dumb blonde joke through his puppet. The blonde immediatly gets up and begins screaming at him. He begins to apologize, when the blonde tells him,"You keep out of this! I'm talking to the little jerk on your knee!"
yay ur back! ;D
omg the first one was soo great and the second one even better! ;D ;D
yup shes my girl :-[;D :-[ ;D lol jkz!! that second one was funny as hell, keep postin em
ya im so glad ur bak this site would be a.... well very bad 1
lol thx guys i appreciate it so here you go!!
A blonde, tired of all the jokes and laughs at her expense, dyed her hair brown. One day, while driving her convertible through the countryside, she spotted a farmer and a big flock of sheep. She stopped and said to the farmer, "Mr Farmer, those sheep are sooooo cute. If I can guess how many you have, will you give me one?"
"Sure", said the farmer. "92!" the blonde confidently said.
"Well, I'll be! That's right," said the farmer. "Go ahead and take your pick"
She picked up a cute little animal and started back to her car.
"Miss," said the farmer, "if I can guess the true color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
Blonde #1: That backpack you're carrying sure looks heavy! What have you got in there?
Blonde #2: Watermelons!
Blonde #1: If I can guess how many watermelons are in your backpack, would you let me have one of them?
Blonde #2: If you can guess how many watermelons are in my backpack, I'll let you have both of them!
Blonde #1: Are there three?
From "Jest a Minute"-VFW Magazine- Highway patrolman notices the car in front of him being driven in an erratic manner. Pulls up alongside and sees this blonde gong donw the road wile knitting as she drives - Trooper rolls down his passenger window and says "Pull over!" "No," she says glancng his way. "Its a scarf."
lmao that's jkz
A blonde goes into the beauty and hair parlor with her walkman on her head.
"I need to take that walkman off your head," says the beauty specialist as she notices the blonde.
"You can't! I'll die!" retorts the blonde.
"I can't cut your hair with the walkman on your ears!" says the beauty specialist getting annoyed.
"I said you can't take it off, or I'll die!"
The beauty specialist, outraged and flustered, grabs the walkman and throws it off the head of the blonde. Within seconds, the blonde dies. When the specialist picks up the walkman to listen, she hears it repeating "breath in, breath out, breath in".
A blonde, out of money and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom.
She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a big note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde."
The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"
oh yeah ive heard both of those, but they're really quite funny.....
One winter morning a husband and wife in northern Ohio were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through." So the good wife went out and moved her car. A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through." The good wife went out and moved her car again. The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park..." Then the electric power went out. The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?" With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to Blondes exhibit, the husband replied, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The speaker was telling the blonde female audience how dumb blondes were. The audience screamed and cursed him. He chose an audience member and brought her up on stage. How much is 300 and 300. 650? Wrong. Give her another chance, give her another chance, they yelled. How much is 110 and 110? 250? Wrong. Give her another chance, give her another chance. How much is 2 and 2? 4? Give her another chance, give her another chance they yelled.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A blonde is in a car accident and survives, but her car is covered in dents. She visits an auto body shop and asks the man how much it would cost, but finds she cannot afford to fix her car. "I do have a solution for you that you can do yourself."
"Oh yeah," says the blonde, "what's that?"
Deciding to have some fun he said, *You put your mouth over the exhaust pipe and blow really hard. The dents just pop right out*
So the blonde went home and tried this, but it didn't work. She went to her blonde friend and told her about this. She replied, "Well of course THAT won't work, you have to roll up the windows first!"
lol those are all good, d**n jessie how many more do you have!!! lol keep it up ;D
omg toataloy HIlarious
I've told you before, an endless supply!!!!
So this American, a Russian, and a blonde were sitting in a bar. The American and the Russian were reliving the old Cold War days, each arguing their superiority in the space race. The American said, "Look, Nicolai, you can't deny we made it to the moon first!"
After a bit more banter, the blonde sighed and rolled her eyes. She said, "Neither of you is so great. In fact, we blondes are getting together and we're going to be the first to go to the sun." The American and the Russian looked puzzled and asked her to repeat herself. She said it again, that blondes would be the first to go to the sun.
The Russian said, "But don't you know that it's impossible? You'd burn up!" The blonde replied, "Well, duh, that's why we would go at night."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
there was three girls at a dance a brunette, red head, and a blonde. a guy comes up to them and says if a guy comes up to you and askes you to dance say your concentrating on holy matrimony and you'll like to keep it that way. so a guy comes up to them and askes the brunette to dance and she says she concentrating on the holy matrimony and she'll like to keep it that way. he says"ok" then he goes up to the red head and askes would you like to dance and she says shes concentrating on the holy matrimony and she'll like to keep that way he says ok then askes the blonde would you like to dance and she says im constipated on macoroni and she'll like to keep it that way.
omg omg omg omg omg lol lol lololololoololololololoollolololoololloolololololol
oh wow, i'm in a super bad mood and still laughed my butt off, thankyou :)
oh no!!!! these should cheer you up and get you out of your down!!!!
Theres a blonde and a red head sitting in a sportsbar watching the seven o'clock news. On the news there was a man about to comit suicide by jumping off a tall building. The red head says "I'll bet you twenty bucks that he will jump. "Ok" says the blonde,"I'll bet you twenty bucks he won't jump. Sure enough the man jumps off the building. The blonde takes out a twenty and gives it to the red head but the red head says "I'm sorry I can't take it because I already saw the five o'clock news". The blonde says,"well so did I but I didn't think that he'd jump again."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two sisters, ablonde and a brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after a few years, they fall into fincial trouble. In order to avoid losing the ranch, they need to buy a new breeding bull. The brunette is chosen to go in search of a good bull, and will contact the blonde when she finds one so the blonde can come with the stock trailer and fetch the bull.
The brunette finally finds a good bull and buys it, then goes into town to telegraph the blonde to come get the bull.
She walks into the telegraph office and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I bought a bull and I need her to drive out here and get it.
The telegraph clerk tells her that it will be .99 cents a word. But she only had $1.00 left after paying for the bull. After thinking for a moment, she says, "I want you to send the word 'comfortable'."
The clerk shakes his head and asks, "How is she going to know what you need her to do if you only send theword 'comfortable'?"
She explains, "My sister is blonde. The word is big. She'll read it slowly... Out loud...'com-for-da- bull'."
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lol I just love those!!!!!
omg too funny!!! :) these are helping :)
lol ok good!!!!
Two blondes stand on the deck of a cruise ship, watching the moon rise over the ocean. "Wow, that's so pretty," says one. The other: "Yeah. [pause] I wonder which is farther away, the moon, or Florida?" The first blonde: "Well duh! Can you see Florida from here?"
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The blonde took her car to the garage because it was running rough. The mechanic returned to the waiting room in about 15 minutes and told her that the car was ready to go - running smooth.
"Oh, that was quick." said the blonde.
"Yeah, just crap in the carbburetor," the mechanic replied.
"Oh, goodness," said the blonde, "How often do I have to do that?"
lmao!!! wow serious giggles escaped reading those ;D
so awesome
lol ok!!
A Blonde went into a diner and ordered a cup of coffee. She noticed a peel off label on the cup. She peeled it off and started screaming "I've won a motor home". The waitress rushed over and tried to calm her down and explain that a motor home was not one of the prizes. The blonde refused to listen and continued to scream "I've won a motor home!". The manager finally came over to explain that her claim was not possible so she showed him the sticker and he read "Win A Bagel"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A teacher giving his class an oral quiz turns to a blonde and asks "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear him/"
She says "I need to know, if the vacuum turned on."
haha! Those are hilarious! Never heard them before :)
I know freekishly awesome
This is for you Hermyfan!!!(LOL HERMY!!!!))
The blonde was at the soda vending machine with a line forming behind her. She keeps putting in the change, making her selection, watching the can fall and setting each can on top of the machine. After about 15 times, a man waiting behind her says, "Honey, let's keep the line moving." She replies, "You'll have to wait. I'm still winning."
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A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and it immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse''s mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip.
She tries to throw her arms around the horse''s neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider.
Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse''s pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.
She starts to lose consciousness, but to her great fortune, Bobby, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.
omfg these are sooooo funny ;D ;D ;D
i had my bff read them she was rolling even harder than i was ;D wow goood stuff!
lol thanks!!! this is for your friend then....
A young lady was sick and tired of all the blond jokes she was hearing. So she decided to do something about it: she would study one particular subject and became brilliant at it. So she decided to memorize the state capitals. At a thingytail party, she overheard another blond joke, and angrily declared that she was so smart that she could name any of the state capitals. Challenging her, a male party-goer said, "OK, how about Mississippi?" With great pride she answered, "M".
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Two blondes are walking down the street passing the YMCA. One blonde turns to the other and says" Boy are they stupid. They don't know how to spell Macy's!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why do Blondes have TGIF printed on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.
Top 10 Dumb Blonde Jokes
Yes, the top 10 blonde jokes of all time!
(In reverse order - best last.)
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Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?
Answer: The brunette - the blonde would have to stop for directions!
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The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.
"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"
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A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked,
"Where did you get that?"
The pig replied,
"I won her in a raffle!"
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A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.
Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the tin,
"For best results, put on two coats".
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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.
First Blonde:
"I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Second Blonde:
Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!
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Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.
The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said,
"I think they could be bird tracks."
The second blonde went to look and said,
"No, I think these are deer tracks."
They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!
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A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,
"You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."
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A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling,
"You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"
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A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.
Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said,
"I can't take this, you're my friend."
But the blonde insisted saying,
"No. A bet's a bet."
Then the redhead said
"Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money."
The blonde replied
"Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!"
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A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette.
When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought,
"Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!"
She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,
"If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?"
The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try.
The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157."
The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.
Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said.
"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
uhm.... ok.............
Boss ask the blond for some scratch paper. Like sand paper she said? No plain like this sheet. So she put the sheet in the Zerox and made copies.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day, a blonde girl was running out to check her mail and a neighbor was watching.
Five minutes later ,she checked it again. This happened all through the day until the neighbor went outside and stopped her and asked her why she kept looking in her mail box and her reply was:
"My computer keeps telling me I have mail!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A couple of blondes were driving through Louisiana when they came to a sign that told them they were almost to Natchitoches.
They argued all the way there about how to pronounce the name of the town. Finally they stopped for lunch. After getting their food, one of the blondes said to the cashier, "Can you settle an argument for us? Very slowly, tell us where we are."
The cashier leaned over the counter and said: "Buuurrrrrr-Gerrrrrr Kiiiinnnnnggg."
hystericalllll!!!!!!
*Lolz*
Why thank you!!! *bows all around* "and now for the academy award" LOLZ!!
A blonde was out of work looking for odd jobs. She knocks on the door of a rich guy and asks if there's anything she can do. 'Sure, paint my porch. I'll give you fifty dollars.' An hour later she tells him she's done, but it wasn't a porch. It was a Lexus
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A 1st grader comes home excited and says to her mother "Mommy, Mommy, I can count all the way to 20 and nobody else in my class can count past 10. Is that because I'm blonde?" Her mother replies "Why yes dear it is".
The next day the 1st grader comes home and says "Mommy, Mommy, I can say my ABCs all the way to M and no one else in my class can say them past E. Is that because I'm blonde?" And her mother says "Why yes Dear it is."
The day after that the 1st grader comes home excited again and says "Mommy Mommy, I have the biggest boobs in my gym class. Is that because I'm blonde?" And her mother says, No Dear, it's because you're 23".
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A blonde enters a store to buy a pair of pink curtains. The salesman asks what size she needs. She promptly replies, "Fifteen inches." The salesman says, "That sounds very small -for what room do you need them?" The blonde tells him they are not for a room. They are for her computer monitor. The surprised salesman replies, "But, Miss, computers do not need curtains!" to which she replies,
"Hellllooooooooo! I've got Windoooooows!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
lolz!!
omg hysteerical
thanks guys!!! *bows*
Q: How can you tell when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies? A: There's M&M shells all over the floor.
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Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A "blonde" lady walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder."The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement & announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away. Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde? We ask for the height, and she gives us the length.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I decided that I needed a few days off and I realized that I had run out of vacation time already. I figured the best way to get the boss to send me home was to act a little crazy so he'd think I was burning out and give me some time off.
I went into work early the other day and began hanging upside down from the ceiling.
Just then one of my coworkers (she's blonde...it'll be important later) came in and asked me what I was doing.
"Shh," I said, "I'm acting crazy to get a few days off. I'm a light bulb."
A second later the boss walked by and asked me what I was doing.
"I'm a light bulb!" I exclaimed.
"You're going crazy," he said. "Take a few days off."
With that, I jumped down and started walking out. The blonde started following me, and the boss asked where she was going.
"I can't work in the dark!" she said.
lmao those are too jkz. Keep em up!!
If you insist..... lolz!!!!
Two young women were speeding down the highway at 90 mph. "Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "Any cops following us?"
The blonde passenger turned around and had a long look at the road behind them. "Yeah, looks like it."
"Are his flashers on?"
The blonde turned around again: "Yup....nope....yup....nope....yup....nope....yup....."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man was about to tell a dumb blonde story when the first of 5 blondes at the next table said:"Mister, I have a black belt in karate, my blonde friend here is a professional boxer, her neighbor here is a wrestler, and the other two blondes here are construction workers..Do you still intend to tell your joke?"
"I guess not," said the man. " I don't want to explain it five times."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
lmao, those are both awesome. Keep posting.
ya toats
huh?? I didn't get that.... but I loooooooooooooooove this song and I'm listening to it right now.... It's Raining Men!!!! omg listen to it when your sad, and it;s impossible not to be happy, or dance or something!!!
I absuloutly love that song!!!!
The mailman walks up to a house to deliver the mail. He is met by a blonde in a sexy nightgown who motions for him to come inside.
The mailman enters the house and the blonde motions for him to come into the bedroom. He follows her and when they get into the bedroom she removes her nightgown and they have sex on the bed.
When the mailman gets dressed to leave, the blonde hands him a dollar bill.
He asks, "What's this dollar for?"
The blonde replies, "Well,my husband and I were arguing over what to give the mailman for a Christmas present.
He said, "Screw the mailman and give him a buck."
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A man takes his blonde girlfriend to a football game. Afterward he asked her, "What did you think of the game?" "Oh, I loved it!" she replied. I mean, all those hunky men in tight pants. And the game was fun to watch. But I do not understand why they played a game over 25 cents." "What do you mean?" her boyfriend asked. "Well, at the start of the game they flipped a coin. And the rest of the game everyone was shouting, 'Get the quarterback'."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did you hear about the new service BLONDSTAR?
You can call them up and they can unlock your car doors if you get locked inside.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahahahahahhahahahaha
A blonde woman was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a
child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little
boy, took him behind a tree and wrote a note. "I have kidnapped your child.
I am sorry to do this but I need the money. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown
bag behind the big oak tree in the park at 7AM." Signed, "The Blonde."
She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go
straight home.
The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a
brownbag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Inside
the bag with the cash was the following note.
"Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to
another."
haha! that was hilarious :D
ok heres one...
A police officer was sitting in his car on the side of the road. The police officer sees a car swerving up and down the road. So he goes and pulls the car to the side of the road and rolls down his window. "ma'am why r u swerving up and down the road?" he asked. The blonde woman in the car said "there was a tree in the middle of the road". The police officer looks at her and said "ma'am, thats your air freshener" ;D
Cool! Oh hey glad to have you on the site. You are new right? Never mind. Anyways welcome! My name is Mira. *Holds out hand waiting for a hand shake*
yea Im new, thanks for the welcome *shakes hand* nice to meet you! :)
Actually my name is Miranda but people call me Mira (pronounced m-y-r-ah)
wow way to go mira. Hello Hailey!!! I'm Jessie!! *Holds out hand* nice to meet you and now... for the jokes...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The 1st Dumb Blonde Guy Joke!
An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction
work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.
They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and
cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm
going to jump off this building."
The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos
again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."
The blonde opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again! If I get
a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."
The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned
beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.
The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too.
The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to
his death as well.
At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If
I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never
would have given it to him again!"
The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him
tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."
Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's
wife said, "Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy took his blond girlfriend to her first football game. They had
great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, the guy asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh,
I really liked it," the blonde replied. "Especially the tight pants
and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were
killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, at the beginning, they flipped a coin, one team got it and
then for the rest of the game, everyone kept screaming 'Get the
quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, Helloooooooooooo - it's
only 25 cents!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: Why did the blonde whose cat had just lost it's tail, hurry to take it to Walmart?
A: She knew that Walmart is the largest retailer in the world.
haha those were hilarious!!! :D
hello btw ;D
I hate dumb blonde jokes cause there about blonde girls who are stupid. I am a blonde and i am verry intelligent so this dumb blonde joke is about a stupid GUY yeah.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So my husband(no i have no husband it is from the wifes perspective) wanted to was his sweatshirt. He asked me what setting to wash it on, i asked him what does it say, he says ohio state.
i know that is a stupi d joke but its better than dumb blonde jokes
oh and if i sound like some freak its nly because that this blonde had 3.96 grade point average out of 4.00 yeah so take that you stupid guys!
No offense but if you hate dumb blonde jokes why are you posting here?
I don't hate all dumb blonde jokes, its only that all blondes aren't dumb and i am tring to prove that. Thats why i did a dumb blonde GUY joke cause you know what guys can be really stupid. Anyway mira don't stick your nose where it doesn't belong (just so you know me and stella are verry good freinds and you were rude to her so yeah)
1.) No one thinks all blonds are dumb. They are jokes, and are not intended to harm your fragile ego.
2.) This isn't the place to start a fight, so don't.
Now, please, Jessie and Mira, continue with the jokes. I myself am blond and have no problem with them.
I SAID I didn't hate all dumb blonde jokes just the ones that are really offensive
and i am a blonde and incase you didn't know i am one of the smartest in my class and i am not stupid
so i am not starting a fight, and go ahead with your jokes i was just saying that GUYS can be stupid
Don't take offense to them, dear. If you are as smart as you say you are (which I have guessed by your wonderful typing skills), then you know that such jokes exist and always will, and being PC is a good way to get other's annoyed.
And yes, you attempted to start a fight with Mira, something about you being Stella's friend and that Mira was rude.
your right but still
many smart people were blondes, besides paris hiltion (don't get me started)
and if you were being sarcastic about my typing skills i am not lieng about my gpa and all i am really smart ask kilinn and stell, and maya, and natalie and maddy and v its the truth
I was indeed being sarcastic, and I believe you when you say you are smart. I never said you were lying, did I? I was simply pointing out, in my own special way, that your skills in the area of typing could use some touching up if you want to better convince people of your point.
actully i am verry good at typing, spelling not so much but weirdly i won my school spellng bee only ecept my school is like 100 kids and there were only like 15 so that means nothing. Anyway i am actully good at typing, only on here i am kinda going fast and not really paying attention. But still.
Jenny you are verry nice and sinceere
I type very fast as well, yet I can manage to go back and fix any mistakes, and take the time to hit 'spell check'. It's a very useful tool, you know.
And Jenny and Ginny are two completely diffrent names.
oh i am so sorry once again i was typing fast and not thinking
its kinda like that my freinds think i am crazy
for many reasons
like the fact that i talk ten times as fast as a normal person
my head goes to fast for my fingers
and usallyi don't type like this, only when i am in a hurry
Try rereading what you wrote before clicking 'Post'. And hitting the shift key before typing the first word of a sentence won't take but a moment, trust me.
Anyway, I apologize to jessie and Mira and the rest of you who were posting jokes. Continue, please. I have no more reason or right to post off topic then anyone else.
Hey I am the smartest kid in my class, and a blonde. I don't really take offense from them because I know they'll never leave and they're not really directed at all blondes.
Quote from: Ginny Weasly on November 29, 2007, 10:37:07 AM
Try rereading what you wrote before clicking 'Post'. And hitting the shift key before typing the first word of a sentence won't take but a moment, trust me.
Anyway, I apologize to jessie and Mira and the rest of you who were posting jokes. Continue, please. I have no more reason or right to post off topic then anyone else.
ha, who needs capitol letters honestly ginny. :) i just use them when i talk to some people....lol
well im a brunette and completely clueless half the time. so i say congrats to any blonde who can outwit me. (because its not very hard. lol)
but i do love it how ginny can clear up little problems like this... anyway random i know but ya QD
i completely agree with cho there. although i am kind of butting in, --in which i dont mean to-- but yea. im a complete blonde and im practically stupid and i admit it because of how i act. (trust me you should see me when im completely nuts) molly would know.
Serriously you are a blonde, oh and yeah i don' t hate all dumb blonde jokes just really stupid, or offensive ones. I know i shouldn't take offense, but what really ticks me off when this one jerk calls be blondie jr (i am the baby in my class) or dumb blonde (this idiot is dumber than me!)
i never knew that people called you blonde jr.... weeirrd but whatever-- hey im not a complete idiot yet...
I am blonde, smart, and gorgeous (clearly) and I'm the one who's posting all the jokes. I don't take offense at them I just laugh at them because they're FUNNY!!!!!
A blonde takes her car in to the shop because it's been running rough. After a little while the mechanic comes in to the waiting area. She asks him if the problem was fixable. "Sure," he replies. "Just crap in the carburetor." Oh, my goodness," says the blonde. "How often do I need to do that?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After a long chase with flashing lights, a highway patrol officer finally got the attention of a blonde driver. When she finally stopped, he asked her "lady, don't you ever look in your mirror?" "Oh, no" she blirted out, "Is my lipstick smeared?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quote from: LordBlaZe on August 4, 2007, 09:09:11 AM
hahahahahalmfao lmfao lmao i haven't heard that one for a while, tooooo jkz. Heres another a few quick ones
How do you confuse a Blonde?: Tell her to sit at the corner of a round room
How do you kill a blonde?: Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a lake
Theres a smart blonde, a dumb blonde, Santa Claus, and the tooth fairy and theres a $20 bill on the ground, who picks it up?: The dumb blonde ofcourse, santa claus, the tooth fairy and smart blondes dont exist!!
Here's another good one:A blonde woman is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds."
When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.
"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said. "Did you follow my instructions?"
The blonde nodded. "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."
"From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.
"No, from skipping."-------LOL- oh and by the way its all for fun, blondes are hot ;) ;D ;D ;)
u r to funny yazzy (me) is a blonde we
dum blodes a awesome personalitys not all of us r taken lollollollollollol
Quote from: LordBlaZe on August 5, 2007, 01:31:26 PM
oh heres a funny joke its not blonde though, actually i dont remember it so good so it might be wierd lol
There are 3 men stranded on an island. The men try to find some water but they are captured by natives. The men are taken to the native leader. He says to them, i'll let you live if you do me 2 tasks. The men agree and the leader tells them all to go inside the forest and return with 5 of the same fruit. The first man returns with 5 oranges and asks the leader whats next. The leader tells him if you want to escape the island you must stick all of the oranges up ur @$$ without making a noise. The man sticks up 1 but dies of pressure. The second man returns with tiny bead cherries and the leader tells him the same thing. The cherries are so small they fit up easily, soon the man is down to the last cherry but bursts out laughing, the leader kills him. On the way to heaven the first guy asks the second guy "you were so close, why did you start laughing??" the second guys replies, "I saw the 3rd man walking in with pineapples!!"
lol
blaze that ones 2 funny
Quote from: dobby888 on August 6, 2007, 03:17:45 AM
like i said i've got an endless supply
The blonde called 911 to report a fire: "Help!! Fire!! Get here as fast as you can!!" she shouted to the operator.
"Miss-you need to calm down-and tell me how to get to your house!"
The blonde heaves a sigh: "DUH! BIG...RED...TRUCK!!!"
On their honeymoon, the blonde bride slipped into a sexy nightie and,
with great anticipation, crawled into bed, only to find that her new
Catholic husband had settled down on the couch. When she asked him why
he was apparently not going to make love to her, he replied,"It's Lent."
In tears, she remarked,"Well, that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! Who did you lend
it to, and for how long?"
jessi the first one is os funny yazzy like
Quote from: Molly on November 26, 2007, 06:35:08 AM
I hate dumb blonde jokes cause there about blonde girls who are stupid. I am a blonde and i am verry intelligent so this dumb blonde joke is about a stupid GUY yeah.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So my husband(no i have no husband it is from the wifes perspective) wanted to was his sweatshirt. He asked me what setting to wash it on, i asked him what does it say, he says ohio state.
i know that is a stupi d joke but its better than dumb blonde jokes
oh and if i sound like some freak its nly because that this blonde had 3.96 grade point average out of 4.00 yeah so take that you stupid guys!
wtg molly if no one would have stood ip then i would of had to do it and i aint good with confrontation so thank gosh u did
I love blonde jokes! All of the ones that are one this thread is hillarious! I have read many now and I have laughed ALOT! Funny jokes!
I love blonde jokes too. I'm definatly proof that you can be brunette to have blonde moments. Besides were just doing it to have fun, not to make fun of anyone.
Yeah. I'm a blonde and I'm smart, but seriously don'y we all have blonde moments?
Enough of that, let's do more jokes!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A blonde walks up to her father and screams, "Hi, Dad!"
Her father says, "Jesus, you scared me!"
The blond responds," No, I'm your daughter,Alex!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy was talking with a blonde when he looks at her hair and says,
"Hey, it looks like your hair is getting a little gray. Are you going to dye it?
"No," replies the blonde, "I'm not worried about gaining weight."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
lol thats funny. But i think i would smack someone if they told me that my hair was getting gray and that i needed to dye it! lol
I have brown hair but i have some blonde kinda moments too...... lol...
Me.... hm...... Is me! Well sometimes i can be as stupid as I or you can possibly be....
;D ;D ;D
Consider this resurrected!!! OK so I have a joke, and it's told by a dumb blonde (AKA me!!!))
So there are two muffins in an oven(Sorry Mira I know you've heard this a million times, but It's great!!)
One turns to the other and says, *Woah... It is HOT in here!*
The other screams *OOH MY GOSH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!*
Oh and one more... ((Again Mira really sorry))
There are 2 cows in a field and one says to the other, *You know, I'm really worried about this mad cow disease going around! I really don't want to catch it!*
The cow replies, *Oh. I don't have to worry about that. I'm a helicopter.*
I don't get them..
I have blonde moments all the time like yesterday I ran into a wall, a door, and a tree.. lol tehe
lol wow Billie you wooould!!!!!
I'm happy I only ran into people today!! tehe
Wow!! I ran into.... well a lot of things... lockers... doors...people...backpacks...