Time passes quick(please join)

[Xaver]

Where she fought instinct, Xaver gave in to it. His hand slowly rose, and reached to her. He tucked a lock of her silken red hair behind her ear, then trailed the backs of his fingers down the side of her face, before his arm fell away, and he withdrew, each movement slow, and careful - and gentle beyond words.

-Liar.-

He smiled, very slightly, and shook his head, meeting her eyes.

-I know you better than that, dearest.. ..Exhaustion wouldn't have you so terribly worked up.. Would it now?-

[Ginny Weasly]

~Maybe I don't want people who are helpless to try and help me.~ Her words were mean, and the tone behind them was meaner. She didn't try to be mean, but when one is sick, one gets angry at the world.

Ginny leaned back in the bed, scowling at him. Partially because she felt like being mean. And partly because she felt like she was stealing his time which could be put to better use. She felt guilty about accidentally calling him.

[Xaver]

Xaver looked at her.
He stared at her for a long moment, his eyes giving away nothing, though that warmth, that mellow excitement that had been bubbling within him, died, slowly, smothered.

-..And you think me helpless, Ginny?-

[Ginny Weasly]

Ginny mentally smashed her head into a wall. But she couldn't stop herself.
~Maybe. Of course, I'd never really know, you being gone 90% of the time and all.~

Mentally, Ginny went from smashing her head into a wall to shooting herself in the face.

[Xaver]

At his back, his enormous, black satin-feathered wings twitched, almost recoiling to her words. Xaver watched Ginny for a long while, before, himself, slouching back in his own chair, folding his hands loosely over his abdomen.
And then suddenly, the confused, slightly frustrated look that had stolen over his face dissolved.

He didn't fight it...
..Because more than most of him accepted that.


-I deserved that, I know.-

His mouth set into a firm line, and he looked away from her.

He had been gone a great deal, lately.
..Though, mostly it hadn't been his fault.
But she didn't know that.
She couldn't have known that.
And it was his fault that she didn't.

He looked back at her, his blue orbs flickering to meet hers.

-I'm sorry, Ginny..-


She obviously didn't want him here.
She didn't want him around..
..He couldn't blame her, really.

..He just wished it didn't hurt so d**n much.
Xaver rose, and gave a low, disconnected bow, clenching his teeth against the pain that seared through him.

-Miss Weasley. Milady. I do apologize for interrupting. It was my mistake to think it was I who was needed here. I should have known better than to intrude.-

[Ginny Weasly]

Ginny went from simply shooting herself to killing herself in the most painful ways she could imagine. And she could imagine alot. Still, she couldn't stop herself. All her frustrations about everything seemed to focus and come out as words aimed at one of the few people she loved.

"Yes, you do deserve that. And millions of other things, because you only say sorry because I brought it to your attention. And I hate being called a lady, as I told you the first time we actually talked. So of course you only pull it out when I say something to make you angry and the only thing you can think of is to get back at me somehow."

She glowered slightly, looking past him and squeezing her eyes shut for a moment, before looking at him. Her eyes went to his, almost daring him to look away.

"You don't know anything, you git." She said, softly. "I'm the only constant around here. Everyone I ever cared for has this stupid habit of leaving and maybe coming back. I don't sleep because my dreams are only night time worries and I fear they might be visions. And I can't sleep through the night any longer because I keep seeing my loved ones dying, being maimed, or worse, simply disappearing. I can't take it anymore, Xaver!" She said this last as tears started down her faces, retracing the tracks her earlier tears had left.

[Xaver]

-Because, simply, you do not deserve anything to be shot back at you.-
His thoughts were quiet when they reached hers, full of everything, but giving nothing, shielded to her beyond walls of old, and new. Strained, because though Xaver was one to keep everything from nearly everybody, it was a completely different story with Ginny.

-And I only apologize now, for I haven't exactly had much of a chance, prior...-

He fell quiet, and let her finish, standing, an ominous, devistated creature when she started crying.
He tried to harden himself to her, but found it impossible.
Xaver had never been able to block her from the most fragile place of his being, beneath the cage of his ribs. And he never would.. He knew that.


"..Ginny, do you think I ever wanted to be parted from you?"
His low tones hinted almsot incredulity.
"Have you been thinking, all this time, that I have been away from you by choice or lack of argument?"

Xaver raked his hands through his onyx hair, then let his arms fall to his sides.

"Ginny.. Between two days after I left, after graduation, and a few months or so ago, I remember little to nothing. Nothing. I get flash backs every now and then, of being fish-hooked onto walls, or staked into familiar floors - but my memory has distorted the details. I was imprisioned in my brother's home for longer than I dare think, and whence it was I finally came to -.."

He met her eyes.

"Since that day the same in the forest, I have longed always to be beside you. I hate it every time I am away.."
He gave an lopsided, pained little smile, and dug his hand into a hidden pocket at his side, withdrawing something. He extended his hand toward her, and opened it - upon his palm was the same stone, the water orb, that she had given him so long ago.
He'd always kept it close.
Xaver looked at it for a moment, then tucked it safely back into his shirt pocket.

He shook his head, and then met her eyes again, his own deep blues a mix of frustration, and sorrow. Open emotion, that he showed only when in her presence, and no where else. Ever. Though she probably did not know that.


"What do you want from me?"

[Ginny Weasly]

"I don't know..." She said, pressing the heels of her hands to her eyes to try and wipe away the tears. They kept coming though. She couldn't stop crying, and she couldn't stop her feelings of complete worthlessness. And she couldn't stop the outpouring of bad thoughts that had gone through her head at one point of another.

"I don't know anything! I'm a stupid, worthless person, only good for staying here to help with the students. And they don't even want me! I can do nothing right, it seems, and I ask too much of you and others when you actually do show up." She paused, taking a breath, then continued.

"And to be truthful, every time one of you leaves with no warning, all I can think is how selfish you can be! And I know I shouldn't. You are leaving for some reason or another. For a country, for family, for friends. For love. God only knows why, but I can't get it out of my head than I'm stuck here for good to teach our future runners and watch my friends put themselves in danger for almost no reason."

"What do I want? I have no idea. No idea at all." She sobbed, softly. Ginny knew that she was being judgmental, unfair, and mean. She couldn't help it, nor did she really care.

She tried to wipe the tears away again, but new ones replaced them quickly. Somewhere inside, she felt bad about taking it out on Xaver.

"Besides that, I do deserve to have things shot back at me." She cried, in response to one of his thoughts, "I deserve so much more. I deserve to be tortured painfully in Purgatory."

[harrypotterfan:)]

Cho looked amazed as they communicated in some way and she was confused once again, stood up and prepared to leave.

[ChoChangHP118]

(am i even here still?)

[harrypotterfan:)]

((I have no idea....LOL))

[ChoChangHP118]

(they both write really really long posts when they talk to each other lol. so i'm lost cuz i don't wanna read them!)

[Ginny Weasly]

((About the long posts-too bad. It's how we used to do RPs. They are alot better this way and tell a much better story. Be lost if your too lazy to read them. About if you are here or not- Are you? You decide if you've been sitting there. It's not up to us. Now stop posting unless you are contributing to the RP))

[harrypotterfan:)]

Cho slowly left outside the door so Ginny and whoever this stranger would be alone. She softly whispered a quick farewell.

[ChoChangHP118]

*sirius, now realizing he had fallen asleep from boredness, woke up* oh *yawns* whatever...see you guys....*walks out to bored to think of what to do*