*^*No, Bad Dog *^*

[Xaver]

"I know other men are attracted to you. I'm not ignorant. Your responding to their advances is something new, entirely, however."
He forced a straight face at her tone.

"I have no inferiority complex. But I sure as hell am not used to worrying about.. him.. and.. you.."
He broke off, low tones chipped, and his gaze fell, as well, to the counter at his side.

Xaver breathed in, and absorbed the room, about him. Hearing her pounding heart, along with his own, seeing, without having to look, her hands clench into fists.
When she finished, there was a halfish, false grin tilting his mouth.

"I think it's ironic."
He faced her, but refused to meet her gaze.
"You kissed him because you were lonely, and I was on my way to find you, to tell you I'd be home far more."

[Ginny Weasly]

Ginny winced as he spoke the last sentence.
"How was I to know?" She said, seething, "I may be psychic, Xaver, but that doesn't mean I am directly connected to your head. You hate letting down your guard, remember? I can't get in your head!"

She growled, "Maybe if you were so uncomfortable with me hanging out with Sirius, you should have said something! You knew I was going to see him, you could have said something! You could have asked to come with me! But you were so busy thinking about your kingdom that you hardly even heard what I said yesterday morning!"

Ginny raised both hands, in agitation, looking as though she wanted to press her head between them, and then letting them drop. All the while glaring at him, her eyes afire with her anger and self resentment.

[Xaver]

Xaver clenched his teeth.
"You know d.am.n well it's not a simple thing for me to just let down my guard. And I didn't CHOOSE to have to deal with a life entirely beside the one I want. I didn't have a choice. It was either me, or Xences, and it would have been more wrong for me to let the realm fall to that sadistic demon."
He bit down hard on his lip before continuing.
"And you KNEW how I felt about that furry b.it.ch since that day in the ministry. I didn't like you hanging around him, but you know I wouldn't stop you."

He shook his head, roughly.
"I can't change who I am. I'll never be easy to live with, and I'll never understand your world like you want me to. I have a lot of rough edges, and I know it. I can work on that."
Xaver paused, wounded, though he fought desperately to hide it away.
"But I can never meet what you want.. I cannot be with you, if there is ever someone else. If there could be, someone else."

He couldn't stand it.

[Ginny Weasly]

Had it been anyone else Ginny were arguing with, she would have stopped at this point. She would have given up, realizing the fight was pointless and worthless. But the thing was, to her it wasn't pointless or worthless because this was Xaver.
Not anyone else.
He had this way of being the best thing in the world to have ever happened to her. But also being the only one to truly anger her for the last three years, besides that Umbridge women. And that had been because the old b.it.ch had taken Cody.
This was different.

As he said that he couldn't be with her if there could be someone else, she took the few steps to close the space between them. She reached one hand up and pushed his shoulder. Not hard, but surly enough to catch his attention even sharper.
"I never said there was somebody else." She said, her tones angry. She didn't have to yell at this closeness, and so her voice was quieter than a few moments ago. Though by no means a whisper. "But you have to understand that there is always the danger of someone being attracted to someone else other than who they are with. It's where the initiative to try and keep the one you love in love with you comes from! It's why some men go home and give their wives flowers. It's why some women go through the trouble of setting up a nice dinner for their husbands! It's why people TRY!"

She put her hands on her hips, shaking her head, her hair tumbling about, "I worry about you finding someone else all the time. I worry that someday I won't be pretty enough, or smart enough, or whatever the reason you love me enough, and then you will move on and find someone who is!"

She looked up at him, biting her own lip, "I hate being left behind, Xaver!"
The same words she had uttered before she'd kissed Sirius, though she didn't recall that at the moment.

[Xaver]

The atomosphere about them literally churned, when Ginny planted her hand against his shoulder, and shoved him.
The air chilling slightly, as his own heartbeat began to race.

She didn't have to say it, he almost said.
Kissing another man, twice, was more than enough, for him.


"I want to keep you," he said fiercely. "I would never have proposed to you otherwise."
His words were short, but his eyes softened considerably, as he mulled over her words. Contemplating.

Understanding.


"I hate being left behind, Xaver!"

Xaver shook his head, and stepped foreword, eliminating the distance between them. His eyes found hers, meeting her pained fury, his dark, moody orbs in a mix of hurt and understanding and remaining anger. He brought his hands up, and gently cupped her face, thumbs brushing her cheeks.

"I don't ever want you with someone but me. It's selfish, I know.."
The ice of his gaze more or less faded away.
"But I don't care. I want you. I want to be with you. I know some things need to change, but.."
He looked up, and sighed.

[Ginny Weasly]

((I want them to kiss and make up. This is making me sad. Good thing Sirius is getting on and posting tomorrow, or I'd be tempted to do just that.))

"But what, Xav?" At his touch, goosebumps flitted cross Ginny's skin and she shivered. But she didn't move, and kept her angry eyes on him.

She kept her voice low, a hardly controlled calm creeping into her words.
"But, we don't know what happened those three years you were gone? But, we don't know the next time your brother will decide to have some fun? But, we don't know what's happening with your sister? But we don't know what will happen with your kingdom? But what, Xaver? When are you going to always put Cody and I first? When are you gonna be there, no matter what buts there are?"

She crossed her arms, still not moving out of his grasp. She scowled deeply, "You weren't there for a lot of things. You weren't there when I found out I was pregnant with your baby. You weren't there when I gave birth to our son. You weren't there for three years, Xaver. A lot happened in those three years, and you. Were. Not. There. You left me behind!"

[Xaver]

Xaver released her.

Didn't push her, for he would never, or pull away violently - but he dropped his hands in a heated, jerky manner, and stepped back. Withdrew, in every sense of the word, his jaw clenching and eyes chilling to a cool, wrathful ice.

"I had no fu.cking choice in the matter."
His tones were low, chipped, and harsh.
'Unlike what you did.' - hovered in the air, though he didn't say it. Didn't care to say it.

Xaver turned on his heel and moved toward the back sliding door.

[Ginny Weasly]

Ginny scowled, following him.
"Running away, baby? Just like you did that last time we had a fight?"

She stopped in the doorway to the kitchen, her hands clenched so tightly that her fingers were white. She worked hard, taking the scowl off her face, removing the frown. Learning from him to turn off her emotions. Though only on her face.

"How long are you gonna be gone this time, Xaver? Three years? Six? Ten?"
Instantly, she wished she could take back the words. But she didn't show it. She just folded her arms, leaning against the door frame. Watching him.

[Xaver]

The shell broke, and Xaver visibly winced, memories flowing, though he didn't care.
...Tried to act like he didn't care.

But he did.
He cared far too much.


"And to be truthful, every time one of you leaves with no warning, all I can think is how selfish you can be! And I know I shouldn't. You are leaving for some reason or another. For a country, for family, for friends. For love. God only knows why, but I can't get it out of my head than I'm stuck here for good to teach our future runners and watch my friends put themselves in danger for almost no reason. ..What do I want? I have no idea. No idea at all."

She began bawling..
And it was nearly Xaver's undoing.
His eyes flickered upward to her, and slowly, he took her hands within his own, and gently pulled them away from her face, finding her eyes.
-I can't tell you I won't leave again. This last time, I had no intention of doing so.. But, Ginny.. It seems that every time I am away, it just gets stronger. I am reminded, more fiercely, of just how much I hate it.. I have come to realize, that being away from you is just illogistical. I.. can't do it..-

The anger, was completely introverted, now.

When she looked at him ..he almost let his mouth just run without thought.
He'd almost said, what he'd been thinking for ages. Why didn't she just be with him? Maybe they could both compromise, and, she could go with him? Be with him? ..Or he could figure out a way to stay there?..
Xaver reeled with the thought.
Almost letting his tongue continue on, unchecked..

...He had almost proposed to her.
It was oddly uplifting, and terrifying at the same time.


Xaver met her eyes ..and felt an odd, painful jolt when she scowled.
"Sorry. ...I shouldn't have said that. Any of it."
She looked away from him, and his face fell.
She shouldn't have said that to him?
..He didn't understand.
Though, Xaver blamed himself, for that. It was his fault he'd been away, in the end. If he wasn't who he was ..a whole lot of things would be better.

Slowly, he rose.
Against everything he knew, and wanted, and truly needed, he stepped away from her, though his footfalls made no sound.
"Alright. ..When you don't regret talking to me, then.. You'll know where I'll be."
Even if he didn't, at the moment.
He padded to the door, and slipped out, allowing it to shut, quietly, behind him, before he started walking..

Xaver kept walking.

"Nothing and no one could ever keep me from coming back to you, except your own will, Ginny. I-..."
"You what?"

Ginny had looked at him then – and, if he could have promised her the world – his world – even back then he would have sworn it over to her without a seconds hesitation.
Then, slowly, softly, he'd finally told her what had been on his mind, since the first time he'd seen her shock of red hair, and pretty face that first day in the forest.

"..I love you... Did you know that?"

Ginny had smiled at him, then.

"Xaver, I know...a lot of things. But I didn't know that...One of the things I DO know, is that I love you."

"I've never said it before," he'd admitted.
He had swooped down then, and stolen her vibrant lips for an electrical, heated kiss – and the world was suddenly right... Spinning on the right axis...

The thoughts blurred.

Cody came into view, and nodded slowly.
"Yup. He was nice. I think."
He smiled at Xaver, boyish cheeks full of innocent warmth.
"But Momma doesn't know what happened to him. She thinks he's gone forever."
Ginny shivered again, tearing her eyes away from Xaver long enough to nod at Sarah. She kept her hand on Cody's head, almost as if holding him back. From what she wasn't sure, but she was terrified.



Xaver had stopped at the couch. He leaned against it now, heavily, his gaze out the glass doors, though his thoughts were very well centered on the woman behind him.

"I had left, on my own accord, under the impression that I would hopefully be back near immediately. For good. I stayed away and for grounds I'm still not certain... But if the longing that wretches at me every moment I am not at your side accounts for anything, even little - I did not stay away on my own compliance."

-The old words hung in the air, though he felt them burn within him, anew.


Her words burned. Gnawing an unhealed wound at the center of his heart.
A wound that was entirely self-inflicted, and refused to ever fade..

[ChoChangHP118]

Pop.

"Dam it,"

Thud.

Ouch!" Muffled words came from a heap of a clock on the newly wetted grass from the cold night before. Sirius lay below the mess, his cloak tightly controlled around his sore body in ways he didn't imagine was possible. He was week, that was noticeable as he worked his way through the knots around his body like a snake. Apparating was never a strong suit when it came to Sirius and it didn't help when he was in pain. He had to do it though, finding no other source of transportation to get him outside of the place he needed to be.

Where was he? Sirius on the front lawn of Xaver and Ginny's house.

After getting out of the cloak with some difficulty Sirius stood, trying to redeem the little self esteem he still possessed. He put his cloak back on, ran a grass stained hand through his hair, fixed his dark blue polo, and wiped off grass from his khaki pants. He sighed, trying not to move his jaw to much as it still was very sore from the incidents that happened yesterday between Xaver and himself.

Why was Sirius here? He didn't know. What he did know was that, through his somehow one black eye Sirius hated Xaver. Truly and utterly despised him at this point. Xaver's actions should not have been dealt with so brutally and it angered Sirius to think that Xaver did what he did to Sirius.

That was one of the many emotions that flowed through his mind.

Another was fear. He feared Xaver, he didn't know why he had shown up at there doorstep though. Did he plan on apologizing? He had not a clue. Did he plan on calling Xaver out? Sirius still couldn't figure out why he was here on there doorstep or why he was having troubles pin pointing his emotions. All he knew was as he walked up to the front door was that he had to knock.

And knock, he did.

[Ginny Weasly]

Ginny glared at Xaver as he leaned against the couch, but said nothing. She felt the direction his thoughts were taking, felt his emotions change. But she was still angry, too angry at the moment to apologize for anything said.
And because he remained silent, so did she.

Then there was a knock at the door, and Ginny frowned even deeper. Annoyance flashed across her face, and she looked towards the front door. Then at Xaver, then back again. She pushed off the kitchen doorframe and walked across the room, a mere five or ten feet away from Xaver.

She glanced back at him before opening the door.
Upon seeing Sirius, she froze in place.

One thing went through her mind now, 'Oh Sh.it!'

Ginny didn't know how she felt about Sirius. She knew he had led her on, knew he had anticipated her drinking. But she also knew he hadn't planned on her kissing him. She couldn't blame him anymore than she could blame Xaver for that.
Try as she might.

"Um...hi..." She said, her voice coming out even. Inside, however she wanted to slam Sirius's face against the wall and let him know that he had just made a stupid move.

[ChoChangHP118]

(At this point "stupid moves" are Sirius's strong point.)

Sirius froze for a moment, his mind becoming a jumbled heap. Words and actions flew numbingly through his head. Ideas of how to escape, how to run away and pretend like he hadn't just apparated here and he hadn't just knocked on there door and that he wasn't now standing before Ginny.

Ginny... How beautiful her hair looked even though she was noticeably irritated or angry at something. Or someone Sirius hoped.

Being his selfish self through his confused mind came one clear memory, the memory from yesterday. He instinctively looked towards her lips, remembering there touch. As he was imagining a sharp shock was sent up his spine, bringing him back to reality of things. He nodded politely, and spoke her name, "Ginny." One word, one name and how it flowed so smoothly from Sirius's tongue was a relaxing reminder that Ginny was still Ginny. Standing before her Sirius forgot that behind the door that Ginny held was one beast that Sirius did not want to see. Standing there before her though, Sirius forgot about him. Xaver's name didn't even cross his mind let alone his lips.

[Ginny Weasly]

Ginny stared at Sirius as he stared at her. Though, the feelings each felt were on opposite ends of the spectrum. She blinked, then scowled at him.

"What do you want?" She asked. Hadn't he caused enough damage in her life right now. She held onto the doorknob, almost ready to slam the door in his face.

Which would probably be the best thing to do, now that she thought about it.

When Xaver saw who was at the door, he was going to have a f.uc.king field day with Sirius's already black and blue face. Ginny's stomach jumped suddenly. Xaver.
He was going to think she had invited Sirius.
This was just a sucky day.

"Go away."  She snapped at Sirius.

[ChoChangHP118]

Sirius's faced contorted so it looked like he had just eaten something extremely sour. Her words were cold and he didn't quite understand why. After all, hadn't she kissed him?

"Ginny please, why are you being so cruel? Can't you and I just... I don't know... Talk this through?" Sirius looked into her eyes, his own an almost clear color. Sirius's mind had not yet come to think of what was behind the door so he continued thinking of one thing and one thing only. Ginny standing before him.

Xaver was far from his mind and he subconsciously tried to keep it that way.

[Xaver]

Xaver heard the knock.
But he didn't bother.

Biting his tongue as Ginny's footfalls trailed to the doorway, Xaver closed his eyes, bringing up his mental blocks and shields, and shutting out the world. Breathing in deeply, and exhaling slowly, focusing his power and reinforcing the calm, in-control attitude that effectively kept him sane with everything in his world. Focusing, until his very own heartbeat was the only thing he could hear. The even, mellow rythm pulsing his nerves back into a sort of comfort zone.

"Ginny please.."

Xaver's eyes flew open, and he whirled on his heel, his entire state of calm and focus flying out the window.
Within a breath, Xaver was standing a foot or three behind Ginny, staring at the hardwood door, and seeing right through it. Molten, untapped, infuriated rage burned anew in waves throughout him, spreading like venom. His strong hands clenched into fists, the wide breadth of his shoulders stiff and squared, and his jaw clenched in a way that set off the handsome planes and angles of his face dangerously, Xaver was completely still. The dark, moody depths of his blue eyes churned with a pent-up wrath, shuttered of any emotion but confusion, and anger.

"Can't you and I just... I don't know... Talk this through?"

The oceans of his orbs darkened.

"Talk..."
The word was spoken in a hiss. A breathy, dark murmur of his low tones, chopped with the foreign lilt of his own language.
He pulled a mocking, detesting sneer.