*^*No, Bad Dog *^*

[ChoChangHP118]

"Right, let me make one thing clear with you Xaver, never have I disliked your kind. I promise you that, and you may not believe it, but I will not be judged by what I am not. And I am not a hater of you and Cody, you don't have to believe me, but that is the truth." He meant his words, he was offended that Xaver still thought he hated Xaver because of what he was, rather then because who he was with. He was quieter now as he continued on, "I was angry when I said those words, I did not mean them. And as for Ginny, at this point I only want to be her friend."

He paused, shaking his head and forgetting Ginny was even there, "She won't even let me be that so I guess you got what you want."

He shook his head, still offended and hurt that Xaver thought he was discrimanatory against his kind when he was far from it. "Who was it that stood up for you that day at the ministry? I didn't just do it because of Ginny's happiness..."

"...No one should be treated that way."

[Ginny Weasly]

"That's enough." Ginny said, her voice sharp. She clasped her hands in her lap, visibly upset.

She scowled darkly, thinking that she had been wrong.
This wasn't her fault.
It was theirs.
Neither guy could get his sh!t together.

"Christ, you two bickering solves nothing!" She told them. She looked at Sirius, "If all you wanted was to be friends, why didn't you stop me? Why didn't you push me away? Why did you flirt with me when I was drunk?" She asked, her tones emotional.

"And if you felt so threatened by him, why didn't you ask me to stay home last night? Why didn't you ask to go with me? Why didn't you make more of an effort to be home more often?" She turned her eyes on Xaver.

She paused, "And why can't I do even this right?!"
She slipped off the counter, standing and facing both men. Her hands on her hips, her eyes dark and tear filled. She shook her head, her bright red hair reflecting in the light.
"Listen to me. Both of you." She stressed, "You are both great guys. And I care about both of you. But if this game of tug of war doesn't stop soon, I'm going to be torn in two!"

[Xaver]

"You will be judged by me through whatever means I chose to do so," Xaver returned harshly.
His jaw a solid, fierce line, he remained silent, until Ginny turned on the both of them.


"Torn in two?"

It didn't matter the way she'd meant it. Xaver hashed her words completely wrong.

"You aren't marrying him! You aren't in love with him...?!"
His words dropped off sharply, and his blue eyes fixed to her, focusing over her with the full weight of all his questions..

[Ginny Weasly]

Ginny turned her eyes onto him, "Did I say that?" She snapped angrily.

"No, I didn't." She answered for him. "I can't be in love with him Xaver. I love him, but I'm not IN love with him..Not while I'm in love with you. Not that it matters, because the way things are going, it looks like you won't want to marry me anyway!"

"It's not like you ever pushed for us to actually do it. You talk about it a whole bunch. But we all know you don't really want to!"

Ginny had many insecurities. She thought herself stupid, ugly, cold hearted and much worse. She truly hated herself, and this hate had suddenly grown ten times it's normal amount.
She seemed to hate herself just as much as Xaver and Sirius hated each other.
Now her self hate had evolved, turning into a monster that was tearing everything apart.

"I don't even know why this is happening!" Her voice suddenly rose, she was almost screaming. "There's no way either of you love me enough to hate each other! It's not possible. I'm not the kind of persobn that you love! Why do wither of you even like me? It doesn't make sense!"
She choked on her own words, the tears over flowing. She was so angry, and upset, and confused.
Just as confused as each of them.

[Xaver]

"Well apparently nobody told me - because I know with complete assurance, that even from years before I finally asked you, I've wanted to be with you. To have a forever."
His words were sure, and swift, though it took her raising her voice, and the emotion that was now quickly spilling over, to evoke, finally, his own sense of self and reassurance.
And concern.
"Ginny," he said firmly, arms uncrossing as his gaze followed her.
"I know exactly the person you are, and it makes perfect sense. This is all happening, because I can't stand the thought of ever losing you. I'm selfish, and greedy, and I want you. I want us. I want your love and affections, and to wake up next to you every morning; to kiss you goodnight every evening. I want you - I need you. I'm only myself, when I'm with you."

He sighed.

"The truth is I do feel threatened, and I feel more replacable than ever - and I don't want to be compared on the same level as him! I want.. to mean more.."
Xaver faltered. Knowing, how selfish he sounded..

[ChoChangHP118]

"You will always mean more in her heart and in her mind then me." Sirius kept his face on the ground, staring uninterested at his feet.

He didn't like what he was saying, but he knew it was true.
He didn't like how selfish he had been, but he was a selfish person.
He didn't like the situation that he was in, but it was there... Loud and clear.

"Xaver you have every right to be a selfish prick, which you are being right now, I'm sorry I never should have gone to that bar with Ginny, I never should have gotten her intentionally drunk, I never should have flirted with her." He looked at Xaver, truly looking into his eyes for the first time all night. He meant what  he said, he could have stopped there, but he just had to go on.

"But I did. I can't take it back, and I'm not going to lie to you. I did enjoy it."

[Xaver]

Reason was telling him to listen.
Logic was telling him to understand.

Xaver didn't want to.

"You don't have to lie. It's the truth, that is, in the end, the truest of wrongs. You can't take it back."
He spat the last, arms folding once more, his lean musculature bunching and pulling as he moved.

[Lola_La_Fringe7]

((O gosh wowzers I guess now would be a bad joining time!!  :-\ )

[Ginny Weasly]

"I want...to mean more.."

Xaver meant the world to her, couldn't he understand that?
But Ginny was only human. She made mistakes all the time.
This scared her, terrified her.
She hated making mistakes.

"Xaver, please." Ginny slid down to the floor, hugging her knees to her chest even as the tears still slid down her face.

"Please don't argue anymore." She shook her head. "It hurts to hear your voice like that."
She shuddered. Xaver sounded so cruel.
So heartless.
Not like the Xaver she knew.
The Xaver she loved.

She looked up at him. Then to Sirius. Then to the floor.
"I'[m sorry. Both of you. It's not your faults. Any of it."
He voice was soft, quiet, and full of self loathing.
"It's mine."

[ChoChangHP118]

Sirius sighed, slowly walking over to a chair and sitting down. He placed his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. Slowly he closed his eyes, breathing slowly. "I'm sorry Ginny..." He said quietly, keeping his eyes closed.

He opened them, peering down at her desperately wishing she would stop crying. "I never meant to hurt you..."

"...Ever."

[Ginny Weasly]

((HINT))

[ChoChangHP118]

("HINT" meaning??)

[Ginny Weasly]

((Meaning Xav needs to reply!))

[ChoChangHP118]

(Fair enough! Lolz)

[Xaver]

(heh..  -waggles eyebrows-)


Ginny buckled into herself, and slid to the floor, tears running fresh tracks over the pretty lines of her face, and Xaver's heart ached for her. Ached to hold her, and kiss away her tears. Ached, in knowing her tears were of his own doing.

He shut up. Bringing his hands to his head, and raking them over the remnants of his black locks, the thick buzz that remained soft, but prickly beneath the pads of his fingers. The short cut of his hair easily enhanced the sharp, predatory lines and planes of his already solid and powerful creature. Bringing out the hard line of his jaw, and the dark, moody depths of his gaze. Depths that, even within those short moments, were churning with upset and a confusing turmoil.

"Don't you dare let blame of all of this, fall solely upon your shoulders."
His hands dropped, slowly, and he let out a pent up breath. His tones had softened, considerably, lowering to a still very reserved, but far more gentle low..

Sirius apologized, and Xaver stalled, the blues of his eyes in a mix of distaste and pain and confusion, ice chips that relayed far more emotion than he would have liked... Then, though he would have liked to have drowned out his emotions, and shoved them aside, he knelt down beside her, tipping his head to the side.

"Love.."