Hermione's Secret Diary-Year 4

[Kiara Johnson]

Thankx.  

this is just great.   ;) :)

[Lily_Evans]

Ron Rants
August 31

Okay, that's IT. These robes are never TOUCHING me. I will NOT wear some laced up velvet number – Mum said I can just go naked – well, I'd rather. Harry's got really nice ones, and mine are rubbish. Of course. As usual. It must be really nice to have all that money, and not have to be stuck with this CRAP. And Hermione, trying to see them – NO ONE is going to see them. That I had to see them is bad enough.

I can hear her and Ginny from all the way up here. They're shrieking – I think that's laughing – what the hell are they talking about down there? She tried to butt in on my packing, I'm going down there and seeing what's up, it's only fair.

Well la-dee-da for Ginny. Tried to slam the door on my hands, she did. "Get OUT, Ron, you were RUDE to her, weren't you, so just GO AWAY." And then Hermione, "Just shut the door, Ginny, just SHUT the door, I'm already in my nightdress and he can just apologize tomorrow for being so mean."

Apologize? They're both mad. Now they're laughing again. I don't get it at all.

**
September 1

I despise Malfoy. Now Ron's going to be testy all the way to school. Why can't that little beast just keep his mouth shut? Doesn't he have anything to do except bother us? I'll give him something to do if he's not careful.

Hermione!

You won't say that when you know what he said. Just because Ron's dress robes are – well – not the best.

You've seen them, then?

Oh, yes. Big snit all morning, everybody's in a mood. Ron and I weren't really talking because of last night, and then Mr. Weasley had to go early, and left Mrs. Weasley to bring us all to King's Cross –

Why?

Oh, he had to go get a retired Auror out of trouble. Mad-Eye-Moody is his name – or at least that's what they call him – he's a very paranoid old Dark wizard catcher, and he's made a mess with some Muggle Artifacts. He always thinks people are trying to get him, so he's got the dustbins outside his house enchanted to go off, as a sort of alarm system. They started clattering all over the place last night because some cat tripped them up or something – anyway, he isn't allowed to enchant his dustbins and some Muggle policemen saw them going off, so now he's in trouble. Mr. Weasley has to fix it because that's his department, and he likes Mad-Eye.

So he went off to work and so did Percy, and Mrs. Weasley brought us all to King's Cross with Bill and Charlie's help. We went by Muggle taxi. Do you have any idea what it's like to get six Hogwarts trunks, an owl and a cat, seven Weasleys, Harry and me into regular taxis? The drivers were baffled. Fred's trunk came open and his Filibuster Fireworks went off – poor Crookshanks was frightened to death and clawed the driver, who tried to kick him! But Ron said, "Hey, watch it!" and grabbed Crookshanks into the cab with us.

How nice.

Yes, well, you know him. One nice thing and then he counteracts it. He, Harry and I got in one taxi and Ron was trying to hold down Crookshanks, who was scratching him all up, and he snapped at me, "Don't think I'm going to apologize for yelling last night, now that this brute's attacked me."

"You know he's not a brute – and you don't have to apologize, because I know all about it."

"About WHAT?"

"Your dress robes."

"Who told you?"

"Your mum."

"Some loyal family I've got!"

"Oh, hush, honestly. Your robes can't be that bad."

"Can't they. You'll see – yeah, I'll show you, who cares. It doesn't matter who sees them, I'm never putting them on. Ow!"

Crookshanks spent the remainder of the ride to King's Cross running across our three laps and giving us bad scratches because he was still in a state about the fireworks. It was some job, getting through the barrier at platform nine and three-quarters without any Muggles noticing all our commotion.

Then, when we were boarding the train, Charlie and Bill and Mrs. Weasley started getting all secretive on us, saying we'll have an especially good time at school this year because they're changing the rules. What rules? And then Charlie said we'll be seeing him sooner than we think, and Bill said he wishes he was back at Hogwarts this year for the fun, and maybe he'll come and see some of it. Some of what? This must be the top-secret project that Percy was always talking loudly about. Whatever it is, it's happening at Hogwarts – and Malfoy, at least, seems to know all about it.

Malfoy. Why'd he even come into our compartment if he despises us so much? We hate him too, but we don't seek him out. It makes much more sense! I mean, we could hear him in the next-door compartment, so I just slid the door shut. Simple. Goodbye, we don't want to talk to you. He was in there going on about how much he'd rather have gone to Durmstrang to study, because they actually teach the Dark Arts there, instead of teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts like we do at Hogwarts. That school's got a horrible reputation. Malfoy would have been their prize student, I'm sure.

Anyway, we just tried to shut him out and enjoy the ride to school. Pigwidgeon was hooting non-stop at first, so Ron dragged this maroon thing out of his trunk and threw it over the cage to make Pig be quiet. Then he gave me a very dark look and jabbed his thumb at the maroon thing, and I saw it had sleeves and lace cuffs.

The dress robes?

Yes. He's right, they're not very nice. But I'd never let on I thought that. I looked at them, looked at Ron, and shrugged. I wanted him to know that they're not a big deal. He shrugged too, and seemed all right after that. Neville came in with us and Ron was showing off that sulky little Krum figurine he got at the Cup, and Harry got us all Cauldron Cakes, and everything was fine. Ron was telling Neville about seeing Krum up close, and about our being in the Top Box, and then we heard –

"For the first and last time in your life, Weasley."

I'm so sick of Malfoy I could scream, and we haven't even started school yet. I almost did yell at him when he picked up Ron's dress robes off Pig's cage, and started to mock them. What right does he have to make fun of Ron? Just because his family's rich – he didn't do anything to get that money except be born into it. It's nothing to do with who's the better person, and it's just a demonstration of how poor Malfoy really is. But it still stings Ron, I know it – he went and told Malfoy to eat dung. His mouth lately – it's awful! But I won't bother him about it today. Malfoy's made him so irritable it's not possible to talk sense to him. After he taunted Ron about the dress robes, he started getting on all of us about the secret project thing – asking if we were planning to enter.

Enter what?

We don't know. The secret project – whatever Mrs. Weasley and Bill and Charlie were talking about this morning. Malfoy knows what it is, though, and made a whole show of bothering us about it. I said, "Either explain what you're on about or go away, Malfoy." But I shouldn't have said it – it was an admission that we didn't know the secret, and he just loved that. "You've got a father and brother at the Ministry and you don't even know? My God, my father told me about it ages ago... maybe your father's too junior to know about it, Weasley... yes... they probably don't talk about important stuff in front of him."

That was it for Ron. He slammed the door so hard after Malfoy that the window-glass shattered. I repaired it with my wand and said, "Ron!" but it was really just out of habit. I didn't blame him. He snarled at me, "Well... making it look like he knows everything and we don't.... Dad could've got a promotion anytime... he just likes it where he is." I could see how defensive he was feeling about his dad, and I just wanted him to know that I understood, so I quietly said, "Of course he does. Don't let Malfoy get to you, Ron –"

"Him? Get to me? As if!" That's how he ended the conversation, and then he turned around and started writing something – d'you know, Gwen, I think it's his journal! – and it's been quiet in here for an hour now.

I wish he had let me finish. I was going to tell him he's so much better than Malfoy that there's no room in it for fighting and the same thing goes for his father. Although now that I look at it... maybe it's better I kept that to myself. After all, that's.... a little bit too obvious.

Obvious?

Well, you know – you know I think Ron is – but he certainly doesn't need to know – and in front of Harry – well, I'm just going to have to be careful about saying what I think, or I'll give myself away.

Gwen, I don't want to have to check myself! It's so strange to keep something back from my best friends. But I couldn't ever say anything, or it would just be.... everything would be too different and awkward – oh, never mind. But why do I have this crazy impulse to....

What?

Well, when Ron looks upset like he does right now, I sort of wish I could... I wish he'd let me...

Oh, it's just wrong that he's all irritated like this, it's a horrible way to start off a new school year. Ron can't stay in this mood. Hang on a second.

[Kiara Johnson]

OOO, good.   :)

[Lily_Evans]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
***
He's being so secretive lately. I just barely touched him on the shoulder and I swear he about launched out of his seat. I didn't mean to startle him! Then he slammed his journal, whipped around and glared at me. As if I'd try and read it! I never would! I said, "Ron, are you all right?" And he said, "Perfect, thanks," in a sarcastic kind of voice that hurt my feelings. I just wanted to help. What a lovely journey to school this has been.

Plus it's raining like a fiend out there. Oooh, I wouldn't fancy being in first year and having to cross the lake in this weather. But at least we're almost to Hogwarts. Oh, Hogwarts – school – everything's going to be fine, Gwen, isn't it? I'm about to be home!

**

Everything is NOT fine. Everything has been a big, fat lie – Hogwarts is practically a slave camp – I can't believe it – three years I've been contributing to the mistreatment, to the bigotry, to the oppression! I feel sick.

Dear, whatever happened? Who have you been oppressing?

House-elves! Gwen, Hogwarts has house-elves! The largest number of any dwelling in Britain! They cook our meals, clean our castle, light our fires, warm our beds – for nothing. No salary, no sick leave, no pensions – nothing! I find it appalling that my school takes such an active part in sustaining this injustice. How could Dumbledore? And all the staff? Am I the only living witch who cares a whit about what's decent?

What exactly do you intend to –

I'm on strike. I didn't eat dinner, and I won't eat again. I won't sit down in the common room and enjoy the fire. I'll put a sign on my bed so they won't heat it. I won't HAVE it.

But Hermione, you have to eat.

Oh do I? Well maybe if I starve a bit and get sick, someone will see this is serious!

It doesn't work that way.

Oh no? How do strikes work, then?

Not like that! You won't really starve yourself, will you? You mustn't.

Gwen. Do you understand. There are SLAVES at my SCHOOL. If I have to sacrifice a bit, it will be worth it. Someone's got to listen to me!

Perhaps you could try another way of –

No! No, no, no – and that's final.

No! For once, Hermione, you'll listen to me – you can't cut me off on this one.

Can if I want – you're my diary.

Aha! So then you'll treat me like a house-elf instead? Excellent compromise.

Gwen! No – I didn't mean – you know that's not what I –
I know. Just hear me out. The way to go about this is to enlist support – to make an organized commotion. Get people to understand your position and bring them to your side. There's strength in numbers. Now, what's your position?

Well it's.... House-elves should be compensated, not enslaved!

Based on what? Was there a time they were free? Do you know their personal beliefs on the subject? What is their treatment, in comparison to the treatment of other non-human magical creatures?

I.... I don't know that. I don't know anything except it's wrong.

Which is an excellent start. But I suggest you do research, and find a better way to support your platform. If anyone knows how to go about that, it's you.

I know – I wanted to do research before – remember, I told you –

Yes, yes. Well, in the meantime, eat something, because if you don't, I'd like to see how far you get on your research before you collapse. Not to mention that your brain will be addled all day tomorrow if you skip breakfast after skipping dinner – you'll ruin your whole first day of classes.
You won't learn a thing. And your stomach will growl in a beastly way, and everyone will hear it.
It's true. So. You'll start eating again, is that clear? You won't help these elves if you're fainting all over the place.

Ugh, you're just like Ron.

He said I wouldn't get the house-elves sick leave by starving myself, and then he tried to tease me into eating dessert.

Good. I have an ally looking out for your interests.

He isn't looking out for anything. He just doesn't care about house-elves.

However you'd like to see it, Hermione.

I see it the way it is. And you can stop bothering me – I'll eat breakfast in the morning, you're put it to me reasonably enough.
But now.... I have some rather... well it's not good news, Gwen. I mean, it is, but it isn't. You'll die. Try to stay calm. It's... it's about Quidditch.

What? What about Quidditch?

Well, this year, the Inter-House Quidditch Cup is cancelled, and we aren't going to have any matches

[Kiara Johnson]

 :) :) :) :)

[Lily_Evans]

***
Gwen? Are you all right?

You're fibbing.

No, I'm not, it's really cancelled for the whole year. Believe me, Harry's upset too – he looked like someone had died.

Well it's a tragedy.

Goodness, I wish somebody would react this violently about house-elves. But cheer up – there's something fun happening here, something to take the place of Quidditch.

Nothing can take the place of Quidditch.

Well... what about a Triwizard Tournament? We're having one. It's a chance for the three largest European schools to –

You're having a Triwizard Tournament?! But that's wonderful! Why, I haven't heard about one of those in absolutely ages!

That's because they haven't held one for a few hundred years. Anyway, how do you know about the Triwizard Tournament?

Well, it was established in the late thirteenth century, wasn't it?
I used to hear about the tournament from someone who owned me, who had a friend at Beauxbatons. I wish I could've gone to one of the big schools! You're going to have so much fun!

Why couldn't you go to one of the big schools?

Oh, well in the first place, I was alive in the sixth century. Hogwarts wasn't established until the – tenth?

Actually, it's commonly accepted that it happened in the early eleventh –

And even if Hogwarts had existed, my parents never would have let me go. They wanted my magic kept quiet. They were terrified that someone would discover I was a witch, and that I wouldn't make a royal marriage. They sent me to Alpenstachen for my education.

I've read of it! In the Alps somewhere, isn't it? All-female, very small, combines witchcraft studies with a modern classical Muggle education, and costs loads?

That's the one! Is it still around, then?

Yes, I think so.

Amazing. Well, I can't complain – I enjoyed it very much. But I always rather wished.... the Triwizard Tournament does sound like fun.

Well, I suppose it does. But Professor Dumbledore said something about there having been a death toll in the past – champions have died during the competition! Although it will be nice to meet foreign witches and wizards. Beauxbatons and Durmstrang are both bringing their short-listed contenders in October. I wonder who the Hogwarts champion will be? I hope it's a Gryffindor! Angelina Johnson says she'll enter!

What about you?

Oh no, I can't. Part of the new rules so there won't be anymore deaths – you can only enter if you're seventeen or older. Fred and George are positively livid. They really wanted a chance to get at the thousand galleons prize money, but they won't be seventeen 'til April. I know they'd all be mad.... but I'm glad my friends are all too young to enter. I wouldn't want any of them hurt, and we haven't learned enough to compete – who knows what kind of magic the champions will come up against? Maybe even Dark magic!
We've got our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, and it's Mad-Eye-Moody.

The paranoid Auror with the enchanted dustbins?

Can you believe it? Another contender for the title of Most Bizarre Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor Ever. Really, there should be a contest. So far, we've had a werewolf (granted, he was a wonderful one,) a silly fool, and a Dark wizard who was keeping Voldemort on the back of his head. Yes, Quirrell definitely takes the prize so far. But Professor Moody is already in the running if you ask me – his face is all gnarled and scarred, he has a wooden leg and a crazy magical eye, plus he enchants his dustbins. Can't we ever have a normal teacher in that class?

Nope

I hope he can teach. I just can't afford another year like the first two, and I don't want to fall behind after all Professor Lupin did to bring us up to speed – I don't care if he's crazy as long as I learn something. Parvati and Lavender aren't sure about him, though. They were going on about his skin, his scars – they care way too much about that kind of thing. Do you know what they started doing over the summer? They started shaving their legs! Am I supposed to start doing that, too? Is it time for that already? Mum says once you start you can't ever stop and I just don't know if I can bother.... bothering. But I think I'm the only one who isn't doing it. I'll just wear trousers. I don't want to shave.
Why do girls have all these things we're supposed to do, and boys don't seem to have any? You don't see boys having to paint their toenails or pluck their eyebrows or wear make-up or... Gwen, I didn't tell you but I got a bra this summer, and just don't ask me about it because I hate it. Mum made me. She said it was time for me to start being "discreet". It's not like I needed one that much. And I always forget to put it on because I'm not used to it. And I have to be careful what I wear because there are some shirts that you can see the outline through – and I don't want it getting snapped, or – or anybody knowing. Plus, this summer, I became a "woman", and don't ask me about that, either. Let's just say I'm grateful it happened over the summer with my mum there, and not here at Hogwarts.
This year I have about a million things that I can't ever share with Harry or Ron. I'm tired of being a girl.

Boys have their own set of troubles, I promise you. But yes, I'll agree we've got the worst end of the deal in the area of personal maintenance. You think you hate your underclothes? The first time I was cinched into a corset I fainted dead away. Horrible! Oh, the things we'll do to look lovely.

Honestly.

What a lot of fuss and bother it is, being us. But there are some girls who don't even seem to care – they seem to like it – Parvati and Lavender are all happy about shaving their legs. Maybe that's not such a terrible idea – I guess it does look better. But no, I just don't feel like it. I feel like... sleeping, actually – Gwen, it's eleven-thirty! I can't believe I didn't notice! I've got to go to bed, it's late, and tomorrow's the first day of classes, plus I'm going to start up my research on house-elves. I'll need to be rested.

Goodnight, Hermione.

Goodnight, Gwen.

[Kiara Johnson]

 :) :) 8)

[Lily_Evans]

thanks!!!!!

**

Ron Rants
September 1

I'll kill him – that's my dream. I'll take him apart, one arm, then the other, then his legs – I won't even use magic, I don't care. I can't say this stuff to anybody – Harry hates him but it's different, and Hermione never lets me fight him. "You'll be just as bad as he is if you give in to it." I notice SHE didn't quite hold herself back last year. Sometimes it's worth it to dig into somebody like Malfoy – it'd feel so great to rip him up – he's a lousy, stinking bas***d and I wish he'd gone to Durmstrang and fallen off a glacier or been chewed alive by a bear. One more word about my Dad – or my brothers, even Percy – or Hermione... he said Mud – that word – again. I heard him in there. Hermione shut the door on him and pretended not to hear it. I don't know how she does that. How can she just sit above it? I can't. I want to see him cry, and before we're done at Hogwarts, I swear, I'll see that bloody prat sob like a girl.

I am also going to kill the following people: Mum, Dad, Bill, Charlie and Percy, all of whom are now officially my ex-family members, since they wouldn't tell me the secret, and made me look like an idiot. I am also going to strangle my owl.

God, Pig, shut up. I threw my robes over him, and he's hooting again – what is his PROBLEM? Those bloody robes probably smell or something – can't believe I took them out of my trunk. At least Hermione didn't laugh – I guess I knew she wouldn't. But I wish I'd left them in the trunk, where Malfoy couldn't.... oh, screw him anyway. I'm not hiding anything from him. He's a – no. I'm not going to keep on wasting my hand muscles writing about it.

PIG. SHUT THAT BEAK. I'm not in the mood for this noise, I don't want to hear it, I don't want to talk to anybody. I just want to kick something. SomeONE would be my preference. Why can't I get over thi—



Crazy woman – scared me half to death, thought she was reading over my shoulder – crept up behind me on the seat and tapped me, and when I turned around she was right in my face! Invasion of privacy – she'd kill if I looked in that diary of hers. I'd do it, though, if I knew how. I want to know what she said about me. I know I'm in there, she said so last year. Bet it's all the speeches she wishes I'd let her give me. I wonder.

d**n it, this noise is really getting annoying. I can't take this train anymore, I just want to be in the Great Hall, seeing which first years we'll get in Gryffindor, and having dinner. I'm so hungry I could eat a hippogriff

[Ginny Weasly]

and????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

[Lily_Evans]

and.....here's more!

**

September 2

Ron has a terrible problem with cursing – and I don't mean the magical kind. He'll need to start watching his language, or he's going to get into trouble. I came in from the library just now, and he was sitting with Harry doing Divination homework, and I swear I heard him say "What the hell is this supposed to mean?" I said, "Excuse me?" And he repeated, "I said, what on earth is this supposed to mean?" But really, I'm not deaf. And this morning, he said "d**n" right in the middle of breakfast – right in the Great Hall, not ten feet from the teachers!

What for?

Care of Magical Creatures class – he was looking at it on the course schedule and he said, "d**n it, we're still with the Slytherins." I gave him a look, and he just mouthed it again to bother me. And then in Divination –

Are you taking Divination again?

Oh, for pity's sake, never. But Lavender told me all about it tonight before she climbed into bed. She said, "I don't know why you bother with Ron Weasley, he's terribly immature." Which made me angry at first. I said, "I don't know what you mean by bother with him – he's my friend. So don't you say anything about him." She just gave me a knowing look and said, "Well, fine. If you don't want to know what he said to me then I just won't tell you."

I don't know why, Gwen. But that bothered me a lot. Enough that I caved in and asked her what he said, even though normally I'd have ignored her. But do you know what he said?

No.

Apparently, Lavender found an unaspected planet in her horoscope, and Professor Trelawney told her it was Uranus. And Ron said, "Can I have a look at Uranus, too, Lavender?" And you know he didn't mean the planet. He is immature.

Hm. Well.

Couldn't you just tape his mouth shut? Mum would wash mine out with soap if I ever said things like that! Uranus. What an idiot.

Er... yes... terrible –

Gwen, if you're laughing –

No, no, of course not – it's abominable – completely immature!

I don't believe you mean that one bit, but he is awful, whether you agree or not. Oh, and this morning, he made fun of me for eating breakfast, too. "You're eating again, I notice," he said. I told him I'd found another, better way to make a stand about elf rights, and he said, "Yeah... and you were hungry." Harry laughed, you're probably laughing – why did it make me want to throw my eggs at him? He never says anything serious. It's always a big joke. I really care about these elves, Gwen, and he won't understand! And then at lunch, I was eating really, really fast, he said, "Er- is this the new stand on elf rights? You're going to make yourself puke instead?" He just never sees.

Well... neither do I, exactly - why were you eating so quickly?

To make extra time! I needed time to use the library, to do some of my elf research. I've got some extremely useful facts. Do you know that elf enslavement goes back for centuries, and hardly anything's ever been attempted to stop it? People are too happy to have slaves to want to help them regain their freedom. Just because elves are a naturally pacifist species, it's easy for more powerful types to take advantage of them! I can't believe that witches and wizards, with all the convenience of magic at their disposal, would still choose to dominate elves! The poor creatures are smaller than we are, and they're not allowed to use their magic even in self-defense. Also, they're deferential to those who would cause conflict because by nature they abhor contention. They'd rather be slaves than stick up for themselves. They'd never cause a riot or a rebellion like the goblins are always doing. And now they've been oppressed for so long that they don't know how to fight! They're not even referred to as elves in most of the books – people just think of them as house-elves – as if they've got no abilities other than housework! It's rotten.

I have a lot more research to do tomorrow. I need to form a plan of action. I was in the library all night after dinner, but there was hardly enough time to find out everything I need to know.

What about your regular homework?

Can you believe I don't even have any yet? What a change from last year! Professor Vector didn't assign anything in Arithmancy, Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures were our only other classes today. Those are usually mostly lab classes, and we didn't get homework in either one – though we had enough work to do in both of them. Today in Herbology we collected bubotuber pus. It was fairly disgusting, but it's supposed to remove bad acne. We needed to bottle it up for Madam Pomfrey so that no one else will try to curse their pimples off.

Who did that?

Eloise Midgen – she's in Hufflepuff – she tried to get rid of her acne and took her nose off instead. Now she's still got pimples all over, plus her nose had to be fixed back on, and it's slightly imperfect on her face. Poor Eloise. It makes me grateful that all I've got to deal with is these giant teeth and this big frizzy puff of a head.

Oh, Hermione, I'm sure it isn't –

Yes it is – it's bad – but I'll live. Hopefully, with school and elf rights, I won't have time to look in the mirror. I don't want to be bothered. Just one morning back with Parvati and Lavender and I'm ready to give up on being a girl. They wouldn't even touch the Blast-Ended Skrewts we're working on in Care of Magical Creatures class. Lavender kept protesting, "Eurgh, Hagrid!" in this really high voice. Does she think the boys are really going to fall for that nonsense?

Although, maybe she's right about the skrewts. Hagrid has such a bizarre idea of what kinds of magical creatures we ought to be caring for. Skrewts do the following things: burn, sting, and suck blood. I rather agreed with Malfoy for once when he asked Hagrid why we'd want to bother raising them.

You agreed with Malfoy?

Partly – but I told him off anyway. He oughtn't to have talked back to Hagrid, and I won't let him. I'm sick of him making all my friends feel bad. Before dinner, he was bothering Ron again, reading out the newest ratty article from Rita Skeeter at the Daily Prophet, which is all exaggerations about Mr. Weasley messing something up at the Ministry – plus, Malfoy was making extremely ugly personal comments about Mrs. Weasley's weight – how dare he?! Mrs. Weasley's the dearest mum in the world besides my own! Harry and I both had to grab Ron tight by the robes to hold him back – I really thought he'd clobber Malfoy that time.

One of these times, Hermione, you ought to let him go.

No. I don't approve of fighting.

Oh? Who gave Malfoy a good hard smack last year, then?

I was under severe emotional stress, and didn't know what I was doing! Anyway, Harry said something nasty to Malfoy about his mother, and then we tried to walk away from it, but Malfoy tried to shoot a curse at Harry's back.

And that's when Malfoy got his comeuppance, better than we ever could have dreamed.

Why? What happened?!

Well, we heard the BANG! of Malfoy's spell, and then we heard another BANG! And a voice said, "OH, NO YOU DON'T, LADDIE!" It was Professor Moody. He'd turned Malfoy into a ferret.

Really!

A little white ferret. And he was very calmly bouncing him up and down on the floor with his wand. Said he thinks attacking from the back is a "stinking, cowardly, scummy thing to do." We just stared, open-mouthed, until Professor McGonagall came along and threw a fit at Professor Moody – teachers at Hogwarts aren't ever allowed to use Transfiguration as a punishment. But even though I know Malfoy could have really been hurt, I have to admit there was something incredibly satisfying about seeing his little ferrety self getting bonked about the corridor like that. I've never seen Ron so uplifted. It was an answer to his every prayer. "Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret..." he said. I couldn't help but laugh with Harry at the expression on his face.

I can only imagine.

Imagine perfect revenged contentment and you'll have it about right. Ahhh.... what a loaded first day back at school, Gwen. I missed it here – even if we do have house-elves. I'm wonderfully tired, and I can't wait to go to sleep, and have it be morning, and start it all over.

Goodnight then, my dear.

Goodnight, Gwen.

[Lily_Evans]

September 2

If Mad-Eye-Moody wanted me to jump off a building, I reckon I'd do it. He's done me the best favor anyone ever could – and he did it so perfectly – it was beautiful – I'll never, ever forget it – I only wish it could happen every morning. If I could wake up every single day to the sounds of Malfoy the Magical Ferret getting smacked into the hallway floor, I think my life would be perfect. It was amazing. And Mad-Eye didn't even care when McGonagall caught him at it – she pitched into him, but he just kept bouncing that snippy little ferret with his wand. He's the coolest teacher here. Besides Dumbledore. But even Dumbledore's never done anything that made me that happy. I've never been this excited about any class before. Defense Against the Dark Arts is going to be great. I wish we didn't have to wait till Thursday.

Well, here's Hermione, back from the library again. I don't know why she looks so self-important, I know she hasn't been studying anything. Let's see what she'll do if I curse a little bit.

Heh heh. She's so easy. I said d**n this morning and she nearly spat out her toast. I think my favorite thing, next to watching Malfoy get transfigured and tortured, is seeing how mad I can get Hermione before she'll rise to it. This time she gave me her "You're a child and I'm a grown up" look, and went upstairs. But if I'd have done one more thing, like said, "You know, you really caved on those house-elves–couldn't even hold out for two meals!" then she'd've completely lost it. I don't think she knows I've got it all calculated.

Divination. This homework is just a crime. It's the first day of school, haven't these teachers ever heard of easing into it? I'll tell her what I predict. I predict that by the end of the year, I'll have faked ninety percent of I disagreeignments in that class. Trelawney's class is a piece of cake – but she sure does pile on the homework. I guess maybe I shouldn't have been so loud about the Uranus thing. But it was worth it. All the guys had to dive down and stick their faces in their poufs to stop from laughing – even Neville, who I wasn't sure would get it. Dean actually couldn't control himself for about ten minutes. Harry said that was my best one yet. True, I'll have to work to top that one. Uranus. Brilliant. This was a good day.

[Kiara Johnson]

 :) :) :)

[Lily_Evans]

here's the last bit i have so far, later I'll try and think of more so enjoy while you can:

**

September 3

Hi! Just wanted to tell you that I found out some new facts about elves in the library after dinner tonight. Can you believe that there isn't a single elf in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures? They're shockingly underrepresented! It's an outrage! They haven't got any political voice at all....

Oh, poor Neville. That's just disgusting.

What did he do?

He's covered in toad guts – he looks miserable. He melted his sixth cauldron in Potions this afternoon, so Snape gave him detention and made him disembowel a barrel of horned toads. Snape's in such a bad mood – he hates Mad-Eye-Moody. Not that that's surprising – he's always hated our Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers because he wants that job for himself. But he's too scared of Professor Moody to be openly mean to him, so now he's taking it out on us. Poor Neville - he looks like he's about to faint and he's holding his hands out in front of him like he wants to get rid of the toad guts, and doesn't know how.

I'm telling you, go and get that Frog Spawn soap I told you about last year. That stuff works wonders underneath the fingernails.

Ew. Gwen, I have a confession... I never actually used it. I got Professor Flitwick to teach me a Scouring Charm instead. Sorry.

Ah well. To each her own.

Yes. Oooh, just a second, I've got to help Neville – he's trying to do a Stripping Charm and that's not meant to be used on skin!

[Ginny Weasly]

more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[brian]

GOOD! bump